"Taylor Hedgie" (TaylorHedgie)
08/03/2014 at 21:17 • Filed to: Now this is a story...

Stopped in to get some good ol' 87 octane for my murderous bumble bee yellow coupe and was just being a well behaved 20-something caucasian male when this ratty ass S10 parks beside me.

NopeCon 5 declared.

I didn't really pay any attention merely due to the fact that hey, this is the edge of Lexington; it's like a teenager going through the sexual-confusion phase or something; half the people here are normal average joes, the other half being bro-truck driving 'rednecks' that work at TGI Fridays or Best buy.

But then came the sound of stumbling feet, so of course I had to see what the hell was going on.

NopeCon 4 declared.

This couple was honest to doge taken right out of an Anti-Meth campaign: excessively spray tanned and severely wrinkled woman in her 40s wearing a spaggeti string top that showed off that gag inducing stretch marked muffin top, and the other being possibly a distant cousin of the guys from Duck Dynasty, the kind that you only hear in hush hush family gossip and will never see in person.

NopeCon 3 declared.

Of course this is when the pump was nearing the pre-paid amount and cut the rate of flow to a trickle, so I was stuck there. Helplessly left to scream internally. Ohgod why is she rubbing the spoiler...?

Maybe I'm just overly suspicious of people, I've seen some shit. Not 'charlie lurking in the bush' levels of shit, but more than I've wanted to see this early in life. Cut 'em some slack, be a cool guy.

That entire last paragraph can be sent through the woodchipper after my assumption of them being meth'd out was confirmed after this grotty woman began to 'talk':

"Hey...man, digging this mean hotrod you—-you got right here, man. Woah. You kno...tell me where to go to get on the interstate we are so lost man."

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

Oh it seems I forgot to tell you what exactly this track slaying hot rod is.

A 2006 Chevy Cobalt LS rocking that cute yellow shade of paint with some 'come at me' 5 spoke wheel covers that came -STOCK-. Crank windows. 5 speed gearbox that really makes you one with the machine. And not to mention an ignition switch that has decided to stop doing it's job twice now, (nearing 150 days for that 'fix all' replacement ignition btw). But yeah bro, you see this no-nonsense piece of american engineering and you have to ask yourself one thing: "Am I feeling lucky?" (Because you know, it might get you to point B without trying to kill you.)

{Holy crap I didn't realize how much I wrote. Do I get a thing? :o}

DISCUSSION (13)

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:20

You get a star from me.

GhostZ > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:21

I've seen some shit. Not 'charlie lurking in the bush' levels of shit, but more than I've wanted to see this early in life.

This guy gets it.

I'm so glad that I have removed myself from that culture through college.

Taylor Hedgie > GhostZ
08/03/2014 at 21:25

Whatchu' mean I get it? Sorry, I'm still a bit rattled from the whole encounter lol.

Viggen > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:26

Yeah but did you follow through with NopeCon 1 Protocol?

Taylor Hedgie > Viggen
08/03/2014 at 21:31

You bet your ass I did. Got in the car let that 4 banger howl like the hounds from hell bro as I rode into the sunset, then had to stop because red lights have to kill the moment.

PS9 > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:33

But you coulda got your dick sucked for 2 dollas

Abject_Penitent > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:35

I was going to bring up that sentence as well because my first thought was Charlie from its always sunny hiding in the bushes, which is a lot funnier than Vietnam.

I can only speak for myself but what I took from that sentence was you are not like most young(ish) people who think whatever is happening to them is the worst thing ever to happen to anyone. You actually have perspective of what you have seen compared to others. So, good on you.

Taylor Hedgie > PS9
08/03/2014 at 21:38

That's what kinda happens when you realize you could saved booku fiddy if you'd just gone to the other corner.

GhostZ > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:40

Taylor Hedgie > Abject_Penitent
08/03/2014 at 21:48

Ooooooh okay, yeah man I see what he meant now. My uncle was a helicopter mechanic in Nam and just recalling the stories he told me of the incredibly gruesome condition that some of choppers came back in will probably always be burned in memory forever. nopenopenope

GhostZ > Taylor Hedgie
08/03/2014 at 21:49

Oh, and to clarify more,

Seeing some shit is the first step to becoming a strong, capable, impressive human being. People who are comfortable, happy, and content for most of their life and don't see crazy tragedy until their late 30s or 40s (usually when older family members start dying) lack a fundamental understanding of the stakes of life, and the difference between what you believe the world is and what it actually is. Nothing breaks a delusion like seeing a tragedy happen in front of you that you didn't think was possible.

Coming to college, where most kids were sheltered, comfortable, and the worst thing they had experienced was either failing a class or a disappointing their parents (which, for most of them, didn't actually happen until college) was quite an alien experience for me, and if what I suspect is true, you'll eventually feel like you're 50 years old in a world of children if you end up in the same position.

Abject_Penitent > GhostZ
08/03/2014 at 22:02

Excellent way of putting things

TurnDownForWatt > Taylor Hedgie
08/04/2014 at 11:59

Guy driving an '06 cobalt rips on fellow PWT in the state of Kentucky.

This is news?