Trapped in the Atlanta airport: What do you want to know?

"Collin" (coliin) 07/15/2014 at 13:45 • Filed to: Less than optimal situations

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My next flight isn't until 7pm, so until then, it's just me and this big ole airport. If you've ever had questions about Hartsfield Jackson International Airport, now is your chance to ask them.

willkinton247 > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:47

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How fast can security run?

thebigbossyboss > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:48

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Why can't canada have non sweetened iced tea?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:50

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Fastest speed that you can achieve on the motorized walkways?

ttyymmnn > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:51

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My wife has a 4-hour layover in ATL today. Maybe you'll see her at the bar. Probably not, even though I told her to go get a glass of wine. Or two.

Hooker > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:54

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What kind of beer is that? Never heard of the company. Also, you should include some bourbon while your stuck.

Collin > willkinton247 07/15/2014 at 13:56

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They ride those three wheeled scooters that are like cheap Segways, so I'm pretty sure they're limited to 12 mph.

Collin > thebigbossyboss 07/15/2014 at 13:57

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Because sweet tea is far superior.

Collin > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/15/2014 at 13:58

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0 mph. Anything that speeds people along at an airport is take as an excuse to stand still the whole time.

Jagvar > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:59

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How much do they charge for a Snickers bar?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Hooker 07/15/2014 at 13:59

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SweetWater is okay, but not phenomenal. It's brewed in north Atlanta, and is at least available as for north as Asheville, FWIW.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:59

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Are there any hot chicks sitting at the bar?

ttyymmnn > Collin 07/15/2014 at 13:59

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What is the worst that could happen if you ran around the terminal screaming, "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!"?

Collin > Hooker 07/15/2014 at 13:59

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It's an IPA. Sweetwater does a great one, by the way. It's got just the right amount of citrus.

Collin > ttyymmnn 07/15/2014 at 14:00

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If she hits up Sweetwater before 7, I'll be here.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:02

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Sadly, I don't remember the layout quite well enough to propose games like "run from X terminal to Y and time yourself". I seem to recall Korean Air being way down on one end and maybe... Qantas or something? being on the other end of that terminal area. Of course, we don't know if your flight is in-country or international.

Collin > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs 07/15/2014 at 14:02

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I don't see my girlfriend anywhere.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:02

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For how many minutes can you walk down an up escalator before someone tells you to stop?

Collin > ttyymmnn 07/15/2014 at 14:03

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Prison rape

Collin > Jagvar 07/15/2014 at 14:04

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Probably too much.

Collin > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/15/2014 at 14:05

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At this point in my life, I don't run unless something is chasing me.

Collin > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/15/2014 at 14:06

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As crowded as it is here and as fat as many of the people are, I doubt I could make it ten seconds.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:07

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Haha, your girlfriend has herself a keeper then!

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:07

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Hmm, what's the strangest looking person at the bar then?

ttyymmnn > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:07

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I'll let her know. She's boarding in RIC right now.

ttyymmnn > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:08

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Bad Idea Hat > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:08

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Ho-ho beriberi?

Collin > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs 07/15/2014 at 14:09

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It's probably a tie. One woman is pale and red headed and just looks a little strange. There's another woman wearing sunglasses indoors though, which weirds me out. Why? Why wear sunglasses indoors? In an airport?

Collin > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs 07/15/2014 at 14:10

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This is true. I am quite the keeper.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:10

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There has to be one in a lesser-used part of the terminal, right?

Collin > Bad Idea Hat 07/15/2014 at 14:11

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Balls!

Collin > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/15/2014 at 14:14

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If there is, I haven't seen one. Hartsfield is usually busier than O'Hare or Newark.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:16

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Yeah, that's strange... (the sunglasses).

What kind of cars do you think they drive?

OPPOsaurus WRX > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:17

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go into a bathroom stall. What happens when you when you stick you foot under the divider and wiggle it?

BoulderZ > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:24

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^ This. I actually just walk at Hartsfield and try to avoid the moving walkways. The average, um, girth and relative immobility, let's say, of the population at that hub makes it faster to hoof it, and less irritating. Hope your travels go smoothly!

Collin > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs 07/15/2014 at 14:30

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The redheaded lady definitely drives a used Corolla. The sunglasses lady drives a Mitsubishi Galant.

Collin > OPPOsaurus WRX 07/15/2014 at 14:32

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I'm pretty sure I just saw an apparition of Anthony Weiner.

Lemonhead > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:33

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You should play "Spy!" - You KNOW there is a spy at the airport. Your job - FIND THEM!

Describe the best spy candidates in the bar.

Collin > BoulderZ 07/15/2014 at 14:35

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It isn't just the overweight people though. Everybody here seems to have a problem with moving quickly.

Lemonhead > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:36

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In the South, when you die your soul has to go through Hartsfield. So, no, there are no lesser-used parts of the terminal.

Collin > Lemonhead 07/15/2014 at 14:45

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The thing about a spy is that they probably don't look like a spy from the movies. The least likely spy is actually probably the most likely spy. That said, basic physical activity is still a necessity, so you can go ahead and ignore the morbidly obese and anyone receiving wheel chair assistance.

There is, however, a lady in her late 20s or early 30s who is somewhat awkwardly dressed like "the hot chick," almost like she's trying to look good for someone else and not because that's the way she wants to be dressed. She's also paying way too much attention to what's going on around her.

Either she's really into people watching, or she's evaluating all of us to figure out whether we're all threats or not. Maybe she's the spy!

BoulderZ > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:49

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Very true. Maybe the climate? I could see that kind of heat and humidity just kind of leaving a person a bit lethargic, even after getting in to some A/C. The whole "slower traffic keep right" standard just doesn't see high adoption rates in ATL.

Lemonhead > Collin 07/15/2014 at 14:57

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and thus the fun of playing Spy! at the airport. I live near The Farm and there are cars and vans going in and out all hours of the day and night. Makes me think it would be fun to play Spy-in-Training! around here.

f86sabre > Collin 07/15/2014 at 15:48

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I have spent more than quality time there. Best food is the Moe's on C or D concourse. Go to the F concourse if you want quiet. They also have orange dreams at the Varsity on F . there is a nice spot with padded chairs up on the Mezz by the Sky Club

Collin > f86sabre 07/15/2014 at 16:00

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I'm more of a fan of concourse B, since it has the most stuff for me to do (as well as Sweetwater). Only three more hours!

uofime > Collin 07/15/2014 at 16:10

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those are almost more hilarious than the actual Segways they used to use

Collin > uofime 07/15/2014 at 16:59

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They're definitely more hilarious, mostly because of how awkward they look.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Collin 07/15/2014 at 17:03

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The way I play is to be the spy and you have to identify the terrorist. Follow them until they reach their destination.

uofime > Collin 07/15/2014 at 17:04

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At least those look kind of tough, the segways just make me laugh because the cops look like mall cops

Hooker > Collin 07/15/2014 at 18:43

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I like the sound of it. I don't like overly citrusy stuff.

Hooker > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/15/2014 at 18:47

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I live kind of near Asheville...Might have to see about it.

Collin > Collin 07/15/2014 at 18:53

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Finally boarding. Let's see if this plane actually takes off.