Waymoe here

"waymoe" (waymoe) 07/01/2014 at 15:07 • Filed to: None

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Hello there Waymoe here giving life advices until 5pm est.

PS9 > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:12

3

Hello waymoe. I presently don't have a vehicle. Should I take on two more jobs on top of the two jobs I already have and forego sleep until I get a W220 V12? If so, how can I avoid doing this without dying?

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:13

5

How do I tell my wife that I'm sick of building this damn fence?

waymoe > PS9 07/01/2014 at 15:13

4

No. That is stupid. Live within your means. If you are already working 2 jobs and cannot afford a car maybe there are some budgetary things you may cut out like movies, eating out, paying for sex, and Hot Wheels.

All the best from your friend,

Waymoe.

Louros > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:15

4

Dear Sir or Madam:

how is babby formed?

Brian Silvestro > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:16

1

Waymoe,

I haven't been given anything to do at my job for three days. How can I avoid dying from boredom?

waymoe > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 07/01/2014 at 15:17

14

Leave it as is and drink 36 Keystone Lights. Leave the cans in a heap by the fence. Her divorce lawyer will take care of the fence.

waymoe > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 15:18

4

Be proactive, tell them you need more work. They will appreciate your forthrightness and you'll move up the promotion ladder.

Or sit there. Just jackin it.

Nibbles > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:19

1

Hello waymoe

My wife recently told me that I could either spend money on a replacement for our old, smaller TV or I could buy parts to restore my Saab. How should I handle this ultimatum?

The Daily Hoon > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:20

0

Waymoe, what is best in life?

waymoe > Louros 07/01/2014 at 15:20

1

sperms go into the uterus and spin it, witchcraft happens, and a baby comes out

ttyymmnn > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:21

4

Don't ever stop paying for sex. It's much more reliable than marriage.

RacecaR > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:21

1

Hello waymoe, first time replier, long time reader here.
How does one go about being one with a car?

FrankenBlaster > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:21

1

Hi Waymoe. Bill Caswell told me that a manual car only has three pedals and that the Porsche PDK is a work of satan. He said that due to the loss of the third pedal I may as well be castrated. Could you weigh in on this?

waymoe > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 15:22

6

Get a new TV. No amount of money will make your Saab not a Saab. Super simple stuff.

waymoe > The Daily Hoon 07/01/2014 at 15:22

6

The love of the people you surround yourself with. Easier if they have Stockholm Syndrome.

505Turbeaux > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:23

0

the question I always wrestle with is, quality or quantity?

What say you?

Jagvar > Louros 07/01/2014 at 15:23

2

They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his children ; i am truley sorry for your lots

waymoe > FrankenBlaster 07/01/2014 at 15:23

4

Bill Caswell? Is it 2011?

Jagvar > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:24

2

That's a win/win right there.

waymoe > RacecaR 07/01/2014 at 15:24

3

Accelerate to roughly 90mph. Drive into tree. You will become one solid piece of molten metal. See Paul Walker.

CAR_IS_MI > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 07/01/2014 at 15:25

1

Step 1: Go to the bank, remove a $20 bill

Step 2: drive to Home Depo(rtation)

Step 3: "Hire" a few "Laborors" to complete the fence while your wife is out (this should cost you more than $20 in labor)

Step 4: ???

Step 5: Profit?!?

The Daily Hoon > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:25

1

Thank you sir,

If allowed, my follow up question is: What happened to Jalopnik COTD?

waymoe > 505Turbeaux 07/01/2014 at 15:25

4

Depends. Condoms - quality. Straws - Quantity.

Jagvar > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:26

1

Showing up to a first date nude: too presumptuous?

waymoe > The Daily Hoon 07/01/2014 at 15:26

6

It is gone the way of the dodo. It was eaten by New Zealanders.

In reality it is just an outdated form of congratulations. Stars donot existing anymore and skaycog is a man who posts semi nude pictures of women.

CAR_IS_MI > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:26

1

Waymoe,

I slept with 8 random women over the weekend and now I have this burning sensation when I pee. What kind of beer should I drink tonight?

Roundbadge > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:27

0

That could do it.

Or, dragon....

Either way.

waymoe > Jagvar 07/01/2014 at 15:27

3

Presumptuous would be showing up with an erection.

Nibbles > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:29

0

As much as I may disagree, I accept your sage advice. After all, who needs to go carve Colorado mountain roads when Forza Horizon is right there?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:30

1

If Kinja says the user waymoe cannot be found and you're here answering questions, does that mean Kinja is a liar or a mumbling old man?

anonsagainstanonymous > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:31

0

Get me a new job

waymoe > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/01/2014 at 15:33

0

Yes

waymoe > Nibbles 07/01/2014 at 15:33

5

Carving in a Saab is like swimming in a tree.

Kate's Dirty Sister > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:34

1

Good morning Waymoe,

Thanks for taking the time to answer our questions

My question is, how much did Canada paid you to write this post.

BrtStlnd > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:34

3

Didn't you win a giant motorcycle a few years back?

waymoe > CAR_IS_MI 07/01/2014 at 15:35

5

I am not sure. An STD would not present itself that quickly. Chances are you just have chaffing. Drink PBR and work on your iron duke camaro

waymoe > anonsagainstanonymous 07/01/2014 at 15:35

0

That is not seeking life advice. Work in healthcare, medical billing is easy to learn and starting pay is not bad.

RacecaR > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:35

0

I keep having dreams that I am driving around in a manual transmission car. I have not owned a manual transmission car in years. They are great dreams, but every time I wake, I am covered in sweat, and The Stig is laying between me and my wife in bed.

No real question. Just had to share this with someone, and you seem like someone who can keep a secret.

waymoe > BrtStlnd 07/01/2014 at 15:36

2

Sold it to pay for hot wheels

Kate's Dirty Sister > ttyymmnn 07/01/2014 at 15:36

1

And cheaper in the long run

waymoe > RacecaR 07/01/2014 at 15:37

2

I have already told my mom

waymoe > Kate's Dirty Sister 07/01/2014 at 15:37

2

3 loonies and a timbits

Verdog ~ manual Bro, Bro - HellHawk Equipped > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:45

0

I stay up hours on end contemplating the following.... PLEASE help me sleep tonight.

What is the Air-Speed velocity of an unladen Swallow?

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:45

1

What engine and trans should I put in my LeMons 62 Plymouth Fury?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:46

0

Where does Kinja hide his dentures?

Sn210 > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 15:46

0

hi waymoe,

I'm going to Pebble Beach week next month for the first time. What should I make sure I do while I'm there?

Kate's Dirty Sister > BrtStlnd 07/01/2014 at 15:51

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He looked healthy on that pic.

waymoe > Verdog ~ manual Bro, Bro - HellHawk Equipped 07/01/2014 at 15:56

0

European?

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 16:00

0

Hello Waymoe, why do the ladies not want to make sexy times with me?

waymoe > Sn210 07/01/2014 at 16:00

1

Count the pebbles. Enjoy your vacation, whatever you want to do is exactly what you should do.

waymoe > Santiago of Escuderia Boricua 07/01/2014 at 16:01

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Something from toyota so it gets a lot of mpg so you wont have to pit

waymoe > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 07/01/2014 at 16:01

0

Probably your personality. Most people can get over looks but not personalities. Be yourself only better.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > CAR_IS_MI 07/01/2014 at 16:10

2

You should switch laundry detergent, that's totally it.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 16:12

0

The great Waymoe, how does one impress members of the opposite sex?

waymoe > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 07/01/2014 at 16:14

0

Confidence in oneself. It applies to all sexes. No one wants to hang around someone who doesnt like themselves.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > CAR_IS_MI 07/01/2014 at 16:22

0

Also, this design works surprisingly well:

Bad Idea Hat > waymoe 07/01/2014 at 16:30

0

How was trump at Munich?

waymoe > Bad Idea Hat 07/01/2014 at 16:33

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Im having trouble understanding your accent.

Manuél Ferrari > ttyymmnn 07/01/2014 at 17:05

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Wow this seriously made me LOL!

Manuél Ferrari > Kate's Dirty Sister 07/01/2014 at 17:06

0

You two are hilarious!

Does this mean I should never get married? I've made it 35 years without getting snagged so far, how much harder could it be to keep the streak going?

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro 07/01/2014 at 17:09

1

You need to watch Silicon Valley on HBO. That will give you ideas.

ttyymmnn > Manuél Ferrari 07/01/2014 at 17:18

1

Eh, I joke about marriage, but I knew what I was getting into. It's been a great 24 years, and I wouldn't trade it. But I know everybody's mileage differs.

Manuél Ferrari > ttyymmnn 07/01/2014 at 17:29

0

I'm glad yours has been a good one!