Formula Oppo: The CN Rail Grand Prix of America's Hat, Eh

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
06/06/2014 at 13:04 • Filed to: fo

Why hello, thar, and welcome to the frozen wasteland directly north of America. We have all sorts of activities planed for this week including curling eh, hockey eh, apologizing(soory eh), going to Tim Horton's Hearing a Dr. Who eh, hockey eh, maple syrup chugging contest eh, smoking crack eh, eating poutine eh, apologizing s'more(so soory eh), enjoying healthcare eh, beaver pelting eh, and finally the seventh round of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Rosberg farted on Hamilton's pillow causing Lewis to get pink eye towards the end of the race. Ricciardo tried to take advantage of this but just couldn't execute the pass.

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In the hat of America, the Queen of England is still the head of state, because they are a backwards people, soory. This week, on Degrassi, will the Silver Arrow's Blitz Krieg continue? Will Lewis piss off his engineers too much? Will Rosberg finally find true love? Will Sebastian suffer more issues? Can Ricciardo's teeth get any whiter? Will Rob Ford continue to smoke crack? Will Pastor hit the wall? Will French Canada declare independence? Do Canadians apologize too much? Soory.

Anywho, here are the drivers, eh:

Sebastian Vettel- Red Bull

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Max Chilton- Marussia

Jules Bianchi- Marussia

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Kimi Räikkönen- Ferrari

Fernando Alonso- Ferrari

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

Marcus Ericsson- Caterham

Kamui Kobayashi- Caterham

Sergio Perez- Force India

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Kevin Magnussen- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Esteban Gutierrez- Sauber

Adrian Sutil- Sauber

Jean-Eric Vergne- Toro Rosso

Daniil Kvyat- Toro Rosso

And here is a list of famous people of the white north

My picks are as follows, eh:

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Daniel Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Curse: Soory, no curse of the Soories

You have until Q1 (1:00 pm est Saturday the 7th) before the polar bears eat you, soory.

Good luck!

DISCUSSION (50)

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 12:25

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Daniel Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

interrogator-chaplain > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 12:48

Kinja'd!!!

That's where you can find me next weekend! ^_^

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Nico Rosberg
3. Kimi Raikkonen
Q. Lewis Hamilton

D.N.F. Fernando Alonso (Fingers crossed!)

Destructive Tester > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 13:03

FYI, 1976 Hunt vs. Lauda is currently streaming on Netflix.

Diesel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 13:07

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Q. Hamilton

Dnf Pastor Maldonado

Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 13:30

1. Lewis Hamilton - one of his best tracks. He'll show Rosberg.

2. Nico Rosberg - Mercedes Power will seal this one!

3. Fernando Alonso - I hope the updates to the car will be good enough to get ahead of Red Bull

Pole: Hamilton.

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 14:41

1. Nico Rosberg

2. Lewis Hamilton

3. Sebastien Vettel

Q. Nico Rosberg

kinjasignedmeout > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
05/31/2014 at 15:05

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Button (I never get 3rd place right anyway)

PP. Hamilton

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/01/2014 at 10:44

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Q. Lewis Hamilton

I want Ricciardo in 3rd, but Seb has got to have some moments

Jonathon Klein > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/02/2014 at 08:23

Youu know I peak

1:Lewis Hamilton

2:Daniel Ricciardo

3:Nico Rosberb

Q:Hamilton

Haimatox > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/02/2014 at 14:20

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

ncasolowork2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/04/2014 at 12:22

I strongly recommend picking another mercedes powered car or the ferrari to finish the podium. Keep in mind Red Bull's strength this year is downforce and their weakness is engine power. Montreal is the closest thing to Monza in terms of taking downforce off the car and wanting engine power with long straights and lost of slow corners. This track will suit the Mercedes so much so that it is not only plausible but likely that they will lap the entire field if they're fighting each other hard for the win. I'm going to pick Hulkenberg to finish on the podium with lewis beating Nico.

I think a 5th or 6th place finish for a Red Bull is optimistic.

ncasolowork2 > Fred (FreddsterExprs)
06/04/2014 at 12:23

Red Bull is not likely to do well this weekend where engine power is far more important than downforce on a track with long straights and slow corners.

ncasolowork2 > Jonathon Klein
06/04/2014 at 12:24

I laugh at anyone picking Red Bull to compete at the front this week on a track that favors cars with great low speed grip and top speed. This track will magnify those strengths in a car more than Bahrain did meaning the Mercedes powered cars are going to utterly dominate.

Jonathon Klein > ncasolowork2
06/04/2014 at 12:29

Unless they decide to collide in the first set of turns and then let everyone else race?

Fred (FreddsterExprs) > ncasolowork2
06/04/2014 at 12:30

Traction is still important, a former strong point of Red Bull, so who knows.

Also Renault promised that their power unit would be at 100% starting in Canada, so we will see how that goes. I still don't see them ahead of a well updated Ferrari F14 T.

Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 14:32

1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Ric

Q. Ham

Now I really want Tim Hortons...

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 14:33

The Grand Prix is in Montreal. Repost article in French.

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 14:35

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

PP. Hamilton

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden
06/05/2014 at 14:46

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/formula-oppo-t…

Hoccy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 15:03

I think I know what to do.

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Sebastian Vettel

3. Fernando Alonso

Q: Lewis Hamilton

Curse: Vergne.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Hoccy
06/05/2014 at 15:04

Merci.

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 16:17

1er: Hamilton

2ème: Rosberg

3e: Ricciardo

Q: Hamilton

philipilihp > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 19:11

It's getting oooold but

1. Cousin Lewie

2. Rosberg lettuce

Kinja'd!!!

Q. Hamilton

Moxy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 19:40

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 22:59

Kinja'd!!!

I thought the Canada win over US hockey meant we had to keep this steaming pile?

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/05/2014 at 23:01

1 Nico

2 Daniel

3 Kimi

DNF : Lewis crashed out cuz he's still pissed over Monaco and hasn't calmed down yet.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 12:30

1. HAM

2. ALO

3. ROS

Q. HAM

No curse.

Wacko > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 13:15

Kinja'd!!!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Wacko
06/06/2014 at 13:16

Kinja'd!!!

hike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 13:17

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Hamilton

Wacko > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 13:17

that's what we are best at, and no one can take that away from us

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 13:24

How aboot'

Q. Hamwich

1. Hamil-tron

2. Britney Rosenburger

3. Capn't Smiley

PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 19:11

Q. Hamilton

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Alonso

Hopefully I don't strike out on every single one like last race...

JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 20:56

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Fernando Alonso

Q. Hamilton

operator2222 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 21:49

Bandwagon time!

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Niki Rosberg

3. Freddy Alonso

P1. Lewis Hanilton

Kinja'd!!!

vorspringing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 21:50

Finally got to watch practice, soory.

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Alonso

Q. Hamilton

No curse, eh.

Lachlan - #ForzaJules > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 22:44

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Kimi Raikonnen

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Viking03 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 23:16

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nicole Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Q. Hamilton

DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/06/2014 at 23:50

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Alonso

Q. Hamilton

Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/07/2014 at 07:18

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Massa (Yeah, I said Massa!)

Q. Hamilton

Trunk Impaired 318 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/07/2014 at 10:27

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

Q. Hamilton

Curse. Gutierrez

rad_mike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/07/2014 at 11:21

Q and 1) Whiney-bag Hamilton

2) Danny Ric

3) Alonso

Not cursing, but Vettel be DNF because of his car and Rosberg will get taken out by Perez or Massa early in the race (if Massa, he will blame it on Rosberg for "crashing me").