What car will you be forced to drive to Jalop Hell?

"GreenN_Gold" (GreenN_Gold) 03/28/2014 at 19:01 • Filed to: None

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Once you've been banished to Jalop Hell (don't play coy, you know you're going), what car will you be forced to drive for the rest of eternity?

I'm pretty sure I already found mine on Wiki. It will be this faded paint, faded plastic Geo Metro with a 3 cylinder and a 3-speed automatic, and these wheels. The car seat will not be removable. And gas will be free, just to rub it in.

jkm7680 > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:03

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No explanation necessary.

pfftballer > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:05

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Any manner of donk or minitruck.

PRBot II > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:05

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The Nopemobile.

Singhjr96 > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:07

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I've driven a Prius before, READ; I've been forced to drive a Prius before. I also do not like the ford escort. That thing is almost worst than the Prius.

GreenN_Gold > jkm7680 03/28/2014 at 19:07

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At least you'll be able to crush me when we race.

Because we're gonna race.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:08

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The ultimate HELL for me in cars?? The Escalade... on lexanis or some shit...

jkm7680 > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:08

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My Vtec will kick in, and I shall win.

GreenN_Gold > PRBot II 03/28/2014 at 19:09

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A thousand times NOPE!!!!!

GreenN_Gold > Singhjr96 03/28/2014 at 19:10

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You've already been to hell and back, good sir.

[ Hush hush top secret here: I've never driven a Prius (or any hybrid), so I'd like to try one (or any hybrid).]

GreenN_Gold > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 03/28/2014 at 19:11

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I would trade you, but I'm pretty sure trades aren't allowed in hell.

jariten1781 > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:13

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With the CVT

Singhjr96 > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:15

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lol. I was forced to drive them for drivers ed. I don't like the prius, and many people who drive hybrids. like for example that Prius lady(search it up if you don't know what i'm talking about.) But I would drive a hybrid like a mclaren p1, porsche 918 spyder, bmw i8, because those are made purely for performance, not "saving gas"

Joe_Limon > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:15

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I have a special circle in hell... Camry SE V6... Faster than anything I have ever owned, and I have always detested Toyota's

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:16

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Well... I'd do the trade as well :) But yeah.. Hell won't allow that..

GreenN_Gold > jariten1781 03/28/2014 at 19:22

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I feel lucky now, with my 3-speed automatic.

GreenN_Gold > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 03/28/2014 at 19:25

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We should exchange info just in case. I really don't want that Metro.

Clown Shoe Pilot > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:29

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WITH that guy (or an even bigger guy) in it. He's big, so in addition to being terrible to drive, it'd be cramped.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:29

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You can give me a call at +47 94 14 22 66 :P

GeorgeyBoy > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:31

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*shivers*

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:34

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The Metro Sedan only came with a 4-cylinder.

GreenN_Gold > Clown Shoe Pilot 03/28/2014 at 19:35

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I bet he farts a lot, too.

GreenN_Gold > GeorgeyBoy 03/28/2014 at 19:37

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Even came with a parking ticket on it already.

Oh, you good Satan! You real good!!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:39

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Gives new meaning to the phrase "going to hell in a handbasket", except in this case it's a bitch-basket. Oh, and to add insult to injury the top is permanently down so everybody can see you go by on your drive of shame.

GreenN_Gold > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/28/2014 at 19:40

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Good to know, but I'm still skeptical. I'm sure I'll have the only sedan with a 3-cylinder redneck swapped into from the local scrap yard. Because that's what he found.

GreenN_Gold > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/28/2014 at 19:44

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The second I posted this I started wondering how long until the first PT Cruiser post. 42 minutes. You win.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:47

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What's my prize? ( Please say "not having to drive a PT Cruiser"!)

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:48

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The 4-pot only made ten more hp though so it's just as bad.

Pitchblende > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 19:54

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This beast, with a 1.6 and an auto box in hilly country, fully laden and the stereo doesn't work.

Worst car I've driven, but at least the stereo worked and the hilly country was fantastic.

Textured Soy Protein > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 20:00

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Because, well yeah.

PRBot II > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 20:21

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I'm reminded of Fractal's What Is Car Hell?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Shiarlis > PRBot II 03/28/2014 at 20:27

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Gon' feel stupid, but story plox?

PRBot II > Shiarlis 03/28/2014 at 20:45

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http://www.meta-religion.com/Zoology/Odditi…

Big Bubba Ray > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 20:57

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If not this, what else?

Eutropius > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 21:15

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A brown diesel wagon.

Agrajag > GreenN_Gold 03/28/2014 at 22:19

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K-car

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > PRBot II 03/29/2014 at 11:31

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They really should get that looked at. Like, by a doctor.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > jariten1781 03/29/2014 at 11:32

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And kudos for finding a particularly sad example of this uniformly sad species.

Rory > jkm7680 03/29/2014 at 20:06

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A guy in a similarly kitted Civic like that gave me some form of bro gang hand sign at a traffic lights last week .
Sometimes I wish I didn't drive a Mid Nineties Civic.

jkm7680 > Rory 03/29/2014 at 20:10

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At least you aren't in America Haha.

Everybody will try to drag race you. And when I mean everybody, everybody.

You can't ride a motorcycle without somebody trying to race.

bob and john > PRBot II 03/29/2014 at 20:44

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....is that a.....bee hive?

PRBot II > bob and john 03/29/2014 at 22:11

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It's a yellow jacket nest inside a 1955 Chevy in Tallahassee, FL back in 2006.

bob and john > PRBot II 03/29/2014 at 22:18

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Rory > jkm7680 03/30/2014 at 12:33

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Drag racing sounds fun, Here in Ireland racing consists of weaving and speeding around winding 2 lane roads. Sounds exciting but it can be highly dangerous and often terrifying

jkm7680 > Rory 03/30/2014 at 13:01

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Yeah, street drags are very risky and dangerous though. I've never participated, but I have been challenged.

Gothmog3VZ - Twin AW11's > PRBot II 03/30/2014 at 14:17

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the fuck is that?

GreenN_Gold > PRBot II 03/31/2014 at 11:10

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Well look at that, I even participated in that one.

MFEJAL grey because who knows... > Joe_Limon 04/02/2014 at 21:03

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My personal hell? any sports car with an automatic gearbox. Not robotized, automatic. Hell.

Baxter Gill > jariten1781 04/03/2014 at 00:30

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You described my daily driver.

"I live inyour hell. AMA."

catkam623 misses his 944 > Singhjr96 04/03/2014 at 22:04

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I will state my car hell as the 1st gen prius convertible one will be made just for me.