What does Oppositelock think of... Buick Roadmaster Estate

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
03/26/2014 at 00:44 • Filed to: oppopinion

Haven't done one of these for a while, so let's do one with the car with the most badass name in automotive history: The Road Master.

I mean, come on.

In a slightly odd twist, I've found that these little buggers have become really rare after the holocaust that was Cash 4 Clunkers, which is annoying since I want one as my next car. No matter.

The Good

Everything. Everything about this car is good.

Near 50:50 weight distribution

Easily-tunable engine that was also used in the Camaro and Corvette, meaning performance parts are easy to find

Ludicrously durable

Wood paneling. WOOD PANELING.

Does mad burnouts

Quite possibly the most boring looking thing in existence in stock white-with-wood livery

Insurance is uber-cheap

It can haul an entire team of cheerleaders

It can haul an entire team of football players if you're into that kind of thing

The rear bench seat faces backwards.

The Bad

I lied. The worst thing about this car is that it wasn't available in a Miata-based brown diesel version.

So guys, what do you think of this land-yacht of pure American brutality? It can haul ass as well as haul groceries, and has more potential as a sleeper than a conversion van with a supercharged 454.

DISCUSSION (25)

Frosted > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:47

I very nearly bought one for 700 bucks instead of my v40. Regretting that decision daily.

jmart > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:49

My grandparents used to have one with the 305. Extremely comfortable, somewhat fast and good range. They loved it.

Doug DeMuro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:51

You forgot to mention the famous sunroof!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Doug DeMuro
03/26/2014 at 00:52

Famous sunroof? I want one even more now.

Agrajag > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:53

Love them.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Frosted
03/26/2014 at 00:54

700? Super jealous. They're entirely vacant from my local Craigslist, except for the occasional example showing up for $4000 (yeah, right).

hike > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:55

I love this car, strangely enough. My local Buick dealership had a lightly used one in the lot a year or so ago, reddish interior, white exterior with the wood paneling. My dad couldn't figure out why I liked it so much. I tried explaining how it had the power of a Corvette, tons of space, and ride like a Cadillac. He still wasn't interested.

Frosted > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 00:56

The only image was a crappy front angle where you could see the hood was open and some guy was leaning over the engine. It probably didn't run. Might've dodged a bullet. But station wagon burnouts. Maaaaaaaaaaan,

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > hike
03/26/2014 at 00:56

My grandmother used to have one, she's regretting selling it and later ending up with a Grand Caravan which is worse in every conceivable way except for vertical interior space.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Frosted
03/26/2014 at 00:58

I spent a good ~6 hours one day watching videos on YouTube from employees of Cash for Clunkers that would hoon the shit out of these before killing the engines. Awesome wagon donuts and burnouts with bone-stock everything and tons of miles. Heard stories of ones that would refuse to die even with all of the oil replaced with their silica mixture.

interrogator-chaplain > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 01:03

I'm a bit more of a Ford Country Squire fan. But both have their perks.

DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 01:04

My dad had one when I was young... That may explain why I love wagons so much.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
03/26/2014 at 01:07

My dad had a 350 wrapped up in a brown Malibu wagon. The engine noise made me discover what orgasms were until he sold it when I was 7 for practicality reasons.

Big Bubba Ray > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 02:00

Ugh, there was a guy selling one in my area just a mile from my house and I didn't even bother to check it out. It would have been a damn fun car for very little cash.

Big Bubba Ray > jmart
03/26/2014 at 02:02

My friend's grandparents had a white one with the 305 and I spent countless summers in the back of that wagon. Still have a soft spot for these cars because of that.

jmart > Big Bubba Ray
03/26/2014 at 02:06

They had a white one too, with white interior and of course wood panels.

thebigbossyboss > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 09:02

This should win the jalopnik beat off. Wouldn't you want to just have a banger one of these you didn't care about? You could literally do anything with it or to it.

chuck07 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 09:19

This is probably what started my love got Dodge Magnums.

quarterlifecrisis > Doug DeMuro
03/26/2014 at 09:36

Now now Doug, I think only the Vista Cruiser had the weird sunroof. Hence the "Vista."

Doug DeMuro > quarterlifecrisis
03/26/2014 at 09:42

I think the Roadmaster in the picture has the roof!

crowmolly > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 10:42

Easily-tunable engine that was also used in the Camaro and Corvette, meaning performance parts are easy to find

Yeah, kind of. Not as easy as you might think though.

quarterlifecrisis > Doug DeMuro
03/26/2014 at 10:57

Hmmm. It might, I can't tell if that's the roof, or some weird cross-bar thing going on with the roof rack. I may have learned something...dammit.

Jedidiah > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 19:32

We used to have a 93 Roadmaster Sedan, not the Station Wagon. The shocks wore out very fast as if they weren't properly dampened for the car. The car looked and felt like it was designed by running a magnet through the parts bin. They do not handle well at all, even by large car standards—they make the police Crown Vics feel like racecars in comparison.

However, for the money, it is very difficult to be the Roadmaster Wagon or Custom Cruiser. They have tons of space, comfort and lots of potential due to the ease of Chevy engine builds/swaps. Who doesn't love wood-paneling?

I like them, but I personally wouldn't buy one unless it had a 350 or was really cheap.

OnelastShot > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/26/2014 at 22:09

Do it!!! I grew up in the back of a Custom Cruiser (Oldsmobile Version)... The rearward facing 3rd row provides years of entertainment.

someassemblyrequired > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
03/27/2014 at 07:27

You forgot another benefit of Buick wagons: Totally invisible to law enforcement