Stupidity Is Slowly Killing The Sports Car

"Blake Noble" (no-bull) 03/16/2014 at 16:33 • Filed to: Rants

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Merriam-Webster defines a sports car as "a low small usually two-passenger automobile designed for quick response, easy maneuverability, and high speed driving." That seems fairly curt and dry to me. So why is it that so many cars are labeled as sports cars these days when the vast majority of them are really just russet potatoes wearing a pair of neon running shoes?

Although I've bought and sold four different cars in the time that's elapsed since our ways parted, it still wasn't all that long ago that I owned a brand-new Dodge Challenger. And you'd be surprised at the number of people who took the time out their day to ask me about my car that almost always started the conversation with, "That's a nice sports car you have there" before they tried to stick their hands in my checkbook to see how much I spent on insurance or how much gasoline I'd have to purchase to make a run to town for what McDonald's passes off as a cheeseburger. It irked me to ends of the Earth — not so much they were trying to figure out how I spent my hard-earned money, but the fact they were asking me about my " sports car" when there plainly wasn't one around.

Now, before someone out in Alabama starts breathing through their mouth and fires up their keyboard to try and convince me how the Challenger is a sports car, let's just judge it using the parameters set by the definition the good old dictionary gave us. You'll start to see what I'm going on about.

For starters, the Challenger could seat two people too many, too comfortably. In fact, I could've probably helped conceive an entire first-world military in the backseat. Show me the backseat in a Chevrolet Corvette or a Nissan 370Z, and I'll show you the pair of double-d's I have hidden up my shirt. Granted, some sports cars, like the Porsche 911 or even the Scion FR-S, do occasionally have backseats, but they're unusable to any living person over the age of ten with shins and a head. They're only there to give someone the illusion they bought something practical; they're best ignored.

Moving on, it had reflexes about as quick as Rob Ford on a weekend bender and it was about as fast as a nun in a chastity belt. It certainly wasn't nimble or quick, nor was it purposely built for driving at high speed. At speeds above 85 mph, it felt like a Broyhill convert-a-bed sofa with a 500 watt stereo built into the seat cushions; you had no sense of how fast you were actually going.

Sure, it drew more attention than setting your nipples on fire in a shopping mall, and everywhere you went it felt like you were driving Led Zeppelin's first record around, but those two qualities are inherent to a show car, not a sports car. A sports car usually has something of substance to back up its show. While I loved my Challenger, it sadly didn't have much of anything underneath the throwback bodywork.

It isn't just the Challenger that's saddled down with this baggage. It extends to, among many others, the Chevrolet Camaro, Ford Mustang, Hyundai Genesis Coupe, and the Hyundai Veloster. Three of those are performance cars on a good day when the weather in Kentucky is cooperating and really pretty coupes when it's not, and the other is what happens when you pile everything on the menu at a fast food restaurant into a black plastic bowl and top it off with shredded cheddar cheese. None of them are sports cars.

Then there's my favorite example of a sports car that isn't a sports car, which comes from a trusted buyer's resource on the Internet. Next time you have a free moment that's not being spent watching cats doing Christopher Walken impressions on YouTube, wander on over to Cars.com and ask them to recommend a sports car for you to buy. Out of the 38 different models they'll suggest, the top ten includes not only the Camaro and Mustang but the Nissan Juke. I'll repeat that: Cars.com thinks the Nissan Juke is a damned sports car. If a Nissan Juke is a sports car, then I'm Hannah Ferguson and you can all watch me take a shower with Rashida Jones on webcam tonight.

Speaking of Nissan, certainly they can bare some of the guilt for helping spread all of this stupidity. Anyone remember the third-generation Maxima of the late 1980s? Nissan so desperately wanted buyers to think of it as something other than a brick of Ivory soap they labeled it a "four-door sports car." They even put "4DSC" stickers on the rear quarter windows to try and convince owners that little white lie was real.

I'd like to believe someone at the ad agency that was tasked with designing and writing up the print and television ads spoke up and said, "A sedan is now a 'four-door sports car,' huh? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry, but I don't think we can market something to buyers so dishonestly." But I doubt it. I'm sure they were all kicking themselves for not thinking of it sooner.

I think I have the answer now to the question I started out with. Greedy peons at ad firms and the very automakers that hire them are to blame for making the term "sports car" about as sacred as spoiled milk and the value of the US dollar. And, if the Mazda RX-8 was any indication, I can fully expect things to continue to devolve in the future.

Whatever. I don't want to think about that. Call me old fashioned, but I'll just continue to abide by the old Greek rule that went something like "let's call a sports car a sports car."

Follow !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on Twitter, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on Kinja, and send all your hate mail and tips to theignitionist@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

All Motor Is Best Motor > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 16:53

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People who just don't understand the proper vernacular of the car world tend to use the term "sports car" or "super car" or "race car" as general terms for some kind of "sporty" or performance oriented vehicle, especially those which may be viewed as specialty cars like the Miata, BRZ/FRS, Mustang, Challenger, etc. There are a lot of these people out there.

Nerd-Vol > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 16:54

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How has the devolution killed the pure sports car? I couldn't find that point among your flowery language and gratuitous mocking of the south.

You still have your miatas, vettes, and caymans. Also this is a very slow process you are talking about as I am sure the mustang and camaro have been marketed as sports cars since their introduction. They may not meet the definition, but if people have been mislabeling sportscars since the 1960s I am sure we are are okay today.

AthomSfere > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 16:55

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Mirriam-Webster, oh how I hate you!

A real dictionary's definition:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Syllabification: sports car

Pronunciation:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

A low-built car designed for performance at high speeds.

theloudmouth > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 16:55

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Serious question, does a sports car have to be all variants of a model?

DC2 Integra GSR/Type R

Pros. sharp as a laser, rifle bolt gearshift, worthless back seat.

Cons. FWD, useful amount of storage.

Milky > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 16:58

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Sports cars, super cars, hyper cars, etc. doesn't matter that they are called, the terminology around them is completely fucked now-a-days.

Part of the blame should go to manufactures IMO.

Gran Coupe? Sport Light? ….. yea okay.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > theloudmouth 03/16/2014 at 17:00

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A sports car is something of its own. It cannot be a version of a car.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:13

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I usually view it as more of a spectrum. At one end is 'sports car' and at the other is 'GT car'. It's only really your Caterhams and your Elises that are truly on the wholly sports car end of the spectrum. Anything else is somewhere in-between.

Dr Emilio Lizardo > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:16

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I know exactly what you mean. People always confused my 2003 Mercedes CLK320 Cabriolet for a sports car. Even people who should know better. Sales people were always trying to sell me Z-rated summertime tires and when I said "it's not really a sports car" one of them even told me "it sure looks like one." It handled fine, but I wouldn't call it nimble. It had sufficient power, but my wife's 10 year old BMW X3 has better acceleration. It was a small touring car that had two doors and a retractable top.

My Audi S5 Cabriolet is much more of a sports car, although it still has a reasonably functional back seat.

Also, you have me hoping that a Nissan Juke is, actually, a sports car.

mr. idk > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:24

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As a die-hard Chevrolet fan, I would still take a challenger (or any dodge for that matter) over a pos miata any day. Call me old fashioned, but a car has to be at least somewhat fast to be a sports car. When the average person sees a challenger they think "sports car" or "muscle car". When the average person sees a miata they think "chick car". Simply put, if it has two doors & goes fast, you can say its a sports car. Besides, I doubt a miata can keep up with a V6 accord in a drag race. Stop using the miata as the baseline or standard for sports cars. Its nothing but an overhyped and overpriced joke.

Blake Noble > theloudmouth 03/16/2014 at 17:24

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Yes. You can't just make a, for example, Chevrolet Malibu SS handle better, go faster, and give it better characteristics at high speeds and call the result a sports car.

Personally, I'd consider the Integra a sport compact.

Blake Noble > Milky 03/16/2014 at 17:26

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I like the CLS, but I've always hated Mercedes for inventing the term "four door coupe" and the trend that's went along with it.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:32

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I feel as though I should point something out. The Alabama comment. I understand that you feel you have to pander to the majority of where you think your readers are coming from. But ultimately you just look low and childish, destroying your credibility. Something to think about as you write going forward.

Gaseous Clay > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:34

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Rover would like a word with you about this "mercedes invented-term"

BadMotorScooter > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:37

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Has Ford ever made a proper sports car?

Milky > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 17:46

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I agree, I love the design on most of them …. just hate the wording.

Blake Noble > Gaseous Clay 03/16/2014 at 17:56

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I owe my apologies to Rover. I forgot there for a moment that they used to be a thing, and now I feel bad.

Leadbull > Nerd-Vol 03/16/2014 at 18:01

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I'd argue that sports cars are even on the rise.

hollanddjw 1 > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 18:03

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OG T-bird? Closest I can really think of.

Blake Noble > Nerd-Vol 03/16/2014 at 18:06

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Read the first and second to last paragraph and you'll get a sort of "tl;dr" version.

The Mustang was generally referred as a pony car. Pony cars were an offshoot of early sport compacts. The Barracuda and Camaro competed with the Mustang and were known as pony cars.

As far as marketing goes, I don't think GM specifically called the Camaro a sports car until the second-gen came out. And they were just as wrong for doing so.

By the way, the weather here was almost 65 yesterday and it completely sucks today because it's cold again. ;-)

BadMotorScooter > hollanddjw 1 03/16/2014 at 18:12

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Maybe, but even the first year was a quasi GT boulevard car. Might be able to say the Shelby Cobra, but it wasn't really a Ford and more of a muscle car in sports car clothes. GT40 and Ford GT are GT cars in my opinion. The oddball Mercury Capri convertible (imported from Australia I think) might actually be the only sports car by regular definition that Ford has made.

Blake Noble > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 18:16

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No, although they've either come close or completely overshot the target. The first-gen Thunderbird was too luxurious and too dawdling; the EXP was too ugly and too slow; and the GT was an all out supercar.

Crashburn > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 18:18

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Malibu SS isn't a sports car, hell it's not even a GT. It's still just a sporty sedan.

Blake Noble > Crashburn 03/16/2014 at 18:19

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Precisely, at best.

BadMotorScooter > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 18:25

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Mercury Capri (the weird two seat convertible imported from Australia)? It technically meets the textbook definition of a sports car. I think they made one with a turbo.

hollanddjw 1 > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 18:30

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Yeah, I counted out the Cobra, GT40, and Daytona coupe because they were really racecars to begin with (plus I would really classify two of those as Shelby cars). I see the Ford GT as more of a supercar than a sportscar.

On the note of Capris, are you talking about the FWD, Mazda-sourced car?

I don't consider any of the Capris to be sportscars. The Euro Capri (the one that looks like an Opel Manta) is more a sport compact in my eyes, and the Fox-chassis Capri is really a pony car. I'd definitely drive either of them, though.

jbm0866 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 18:32

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So lets see...the "south" (just the deep south or everything below you including west of the Mississippi?) and people who mix up car genres (located everywhere) are responsible for the impending demise of the dictionary definition sports car? You sure are uppity for someone who actually bought and owned a retro bodied highway cruiser riding on an ancient Mercedes sedan platform..:)

Greasemonkey > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 18:33

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Relevant:

ranwhenparked > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 18:59

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Ford GT, and possibly the Australian-sourced Mercury Capri and last generation (2000s era) Ford Thunderbird - though the latter was automatic only, I believe.

Blondude > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:00

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And don't even get me started on "sport" utility vehicles!

ToastedTires > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:03

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RS200, ford GT, original thunder birds were hardly luxurious... I get the feeling you are just hating on Ford.

Baber K. Khan > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:05

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Perhaps this is the best definition of a sports car I've read, a definition which can also be used for fighter jets.

"a low small usually two-passenger air craft designed for quick response, easy maneuverability, and high speed flying."

ranwhenparked > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:06

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I know what you mean. I've had my Mustang referred to as a "sports car" on several occasions, primarily by people at gas stations and the like who feel the need to mock me for driving a "sports car" in upstate New York. Two back seats that are kind of hard to get into but fairly comfortable once you're in, and a 3500+lb curb weight do NOT equal a sports car. Period.

The more the term gets tossed around, the more diluted it becomes. I think Nissan even did a Maxima ad recently that touted it as a 4-door sports car. As wrong as that is, there are a few sedans that come fairly close to pulling that off, but the Maxima clearly isn't one.

jalop1991 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:07

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"...bear the guilt", not "bare the guilt".

It's also "moot point," not "mute point". And "for all intents and purposes," not "intensive purposes."

Just giving you a head start there.

472CID > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:08

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Oh boy here we go. Some of these arguments I can get behind (like the lie that is "4 door coupes") some I find pretty silly (sportscar vs. supercar vs. hypercar or muscle car vs. pony car) sportscar vs sporty car falls close to the later.

To your average Joe Smo a Challenger is a flashy sportscar, hell a Hyundai Tiberon is a sportscar. It's usually not worth the time to fight it. The same thing was happening 40 years ago (that new Riviera sure is a fine sportscar), and it will probably continue 40 years into the future.

DetroitMuscle > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:10

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My Challenger RT isn't a sports car by any means,but it sure does some fun stuff.Just ask the driver of the Honda S6000 who tried to pass it and had to turn away from the embaressment of being blown off the road by a two ton Dodge.It also does great burnouts in particular.

evilfacelessturtle (Hooning a Ford is Domestic Abuse) > mr. idk 03/16/2014 at 19:14

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As a die hard car fan, shut up. Sports cars are supposed to be capable in every performance aspect, including handling. When YOU see a Miata you may think "chick car", but that's because you're closed minded. I appreciate muscle cars and pony cars for what they are, and I also appreciate Miatas for what they are. Sports cars don't have to be powerful as hell. The Delorean wasn't. Hell, they raced Challenger T/As with the 340.

JayHova > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:15

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The RS200 comes pretty close.

joemcm > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:17

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That's all fine and dandy for us enthusiasts, and even could be a helpful reminder to some of us, but it won't change the public's perception of sports cars. It's become a marketing term, like you said. Now it's up to the discerning enthusiast to decide what's a real sports car and what's not. I'd say you did a pretty good job, but sadly I think this problem is just an effect of the public's lack of car knowledge.

Trentanium > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:22

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It's Cut, you idiot! Cut and Dry! You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong.

RacerX450 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:23

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Sports cars have side curtains, not power windows.

BadMotorScooter > ToastedTires 03/16/2014 at 19:26

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I like Ford! But I find it odd that Ford hasn't taken a shot at a focused sports car by the standard definition. Chrysler/Dodge hasn't really either. GM has the Solstice/Sky, various Corvettes, Fiero and Corvair.

mikemikemotorbike > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:28

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The challenger is not a sports car. Its job is to be awesome. And I think it's 'cut and dried'.

Blake Noble > Trentanium 03/16/2014 at 19:29

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No, Old Biff. It's "curt and dry."

"Curt" can be defined as "a sparing of words," according to the same source that gave us the definition of a sports car. It isn't just a person's name.

That definition was, well, curt. It's quick. It lacks fluff. It's just essential information, meaning it's also "dry."

Cut and dry is what you ask for at the barbershop. :-)

Now where's my Sports Almanac?

tobythesandwich > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:30

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Corvair wouldn't fall into that list as it was an economical "compact."

DougNuts > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:31

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As someone who has spent the majority of my life in Kentucky and Alabama, I politely ask you to go fuck yourself. Otherwise, I agree.

tobythesandwich > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:33

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So your reasoning is using the dictionary... Which has nothing to do with cars. So by that logic 2+2's can't be sports cars. Large grand tourers capable of doing 150+ aren't sports cars.

Huh. This is about the most retarded shit I've read all weekend. Sounds like people like you are killing the sports car with idiotic expectations based on a definition from a book that has no bearing on the automotive world.

Michael Zaite > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:34

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Really? Chrysler/Dodge never did a sports car?

Chaos-cascade > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:36

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Reborn Pyrrhic > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:37

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1337HPMustang > ranwhenparked 03/16/2014 at 19:38

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I'd say mustangs are sports cars. They're on their own platform, a platform for a quick two door coupe. I'd argue that since challengers and camaros share platforms with 300s and commodors, then they don't have the same sporty underpinnings. And you can tell as much from their profile. Although this only makes sense to me up to a certain point; anyone arguing an SRT8 isn't a sports car is delusional.

Manuél Ferrari > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:41

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I'm not even going to give an opinion on this. People get VERY touchy when you say that certain cars aren't sports cars. The only time someone on this site ripped into me with less than civil language was when I said that a certain sport sedan wasn't a sports car...

Doctor-G-and-the-wagen > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:42

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Dodge has the Viper, and possibly the Conquest and Stealth if we want to get into the DSM days.

n7titan > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:47

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I searched for cats doing Christopher Walkens inpressions. That was so disappointing.

Blake Noble > DougNuts 03/16/2014 at 19:47

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As someone who was born and raised in Kentucky, I'll politely respond with "thank you." :-)

lamonts > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 19:48

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Dodge/SRT Viper? Ford GT?

lingenfelter > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:49

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Reading posts like this makes me sad, it's the equivalent of youtube comments where people split hairs about what kind of metal I'm listening to.

JasonSpeed > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:49

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This post reads like a Dennis Miller rant, back when he was still funny and relevant. I enjoyed it. I agree, there is a difference between a 'sports' car and a 'performance' car.

bariki > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:50

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Guy from Alabama here...

If you're going to be really pedantic, no, a Challenger, or for that matter a Mustang or an M3 are not precisely sports cars. If only because they have other names with the word "car" or "sport" in them that aren't "sports car." Muscle car, pony car, sports sedan.

But by any reasonable standard, all of these cars, as well as the GT-R, Impreza, Lan Evo, Integra Type R are sports cars, because "sports car" isn't a rigid definition. It's more like a spectrum. It's also somewhat subjective.

If you go by the "low, responsive, maneuverable, and fast" definition, some people consider no less than a Caterham or a Radical to be a true sports car.... (the very bottom end of the scale). But that's absurd.

A 350Z, for example, meets the classical definition, but it's weight and size puts it near the top of the spectrum, and it can also be called a grand tourer. But it's more than fair to call it a sports car without reservation.

A Miata is closer to a "pure" sports car, for sure. A third-gen RX-7 is even closer.

On the other hand, where do you draw the line between a sports car and a road legal race car?

Michael Zaite > ranwhenparked 03/16/2014 at 19:50

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Nissan has been doing the "4DSC 4 Door Sports Car" thing with the maxima for ever.

BadMotorScooter > Michael Zaite 03/16/2014 at 19:50

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Viper is a GT, muscle car, or race car. It is too big, powerful, and cumbersome to be a true sports car. Ford GT falls into the same category, as does ZR1 and Z06. It is a matter of semantics really. When I think of sports car, I think Miata, not Viper.

BadMotorScooter > Chaos-cascade 03/16/2014 at 19:53

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Is that a Ford? Or a Shelby? Or an A/C with a Ford motor? I agree it is a sports car!

hermtownhomy > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:53

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Agree with you100%. I hate the word "sporty" as much as "sports car". To my mom, any car that is red and has two doors is sporty. Stick some pinstripes or splashy graphics on the side, and look out, it's really sporty. Her neighbor still has a red Ford Pinto sith some kind of graphics on the side that she calls "their little sports car". The same thing she calls my M3. She really doesn't see much difference between the two.

Half-Caulked Jack > Reborn Pyrrhic 03/16/2014 at 19:54

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Thank you, exactly what I was going to do. And if we're counting race cars as sports cars, the list gets a little longer.

BadMotorScooter > lamonts 03/16/2014 at 19:55

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Viper and Ford GT are GT (they even named it such!) and muscle cars, not sports cars by standard definition.

ranwhenparked > 1337HPMustang 03/16/2014 at 19:55

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The Mustang is loosely based on the platform used by the XF/S-Type/Thunderbird/LS, but with substantial revisions to reduce production costs (eg, solid axle). Also, 2-doors doesn't mean a sports car. It's a largish 2+2 coupe, in European terms it would be closer to a GT car than a sports car.

Michael Zaite > mr. idk 03/16/2014 at 19:56

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I can't call you old fashioned. Small semi-anemic 2 seat Roadsters have been referred to as sports cars long before the great Texas chicken farmer brought us unto salvation and created the Cobra.

Our Carroll, who art in So Cal, Power be thy name.....

Half-Caulked Jack > hollanddjw 1 03/16/2014 at 19:57

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Why is a supercar not a sports car in this context? Based on the strict definition used by this article, it's still a sports car, just better at it than others.

The World of Vee > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 19:59

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I think this article is linked in Merriam-Webster when one searches for "pedantic" :)

Michael Zaite > JasonSpeed 03/16/2014 at 20:01

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But don't we get Performance out of every car? Isn't a very fuel efficient car getting exceptional performance? The rabbit hole goes down and down!

6 speed speedy > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:01

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Your next article needs to give my 6 speed 2011 V6 Ford Mustang some love

Nick Has an Exocet > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:02

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This is a stupid argument.

By your argument, a Miata isn't a sports car. High speed driving? Really? The motto of Miata is practically "it's fun to go slow".

It's more like Merriam Webster has it wrong. They defined Roadster, not Sports Car.

mazdaspeed2 > mr. idk 03/16/2014 at 20:02

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The average person is not educated enough on cars to know what they are looking at. Also, drag races are for muscle cars not sports cars, there is a very big difference. Sure modern muscle cars can handle much better than the old ones, but in Car and Drivers Lightning Laps the 2006 Lotus Elise (sports car) with 190 HP was less than a second slower than the 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 (muscle car) with 412 HP. That is 3:09.2 to 3:08.6 at VIR. Yeah the Lotus is faster than a Miata, but it is the same idea. Looks are for show cars not sports cars and muscle car does NOT equal sports car.

tapzz > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:03

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It's not just the US. I just stumbled across the new sports car segment sales stats in Germany: the Mercedes E-Class Coupé has beaten the perennial 911 to number 1 .

Nope. No. Nein!

Not a sports car

(photo credit: Sarah Larson , wikipedia )

RW53104 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:06

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This reads better than many front page posts. Hilarious.

Michael Zaite > Nick Has an Exocet 03/16/2014 at 20:06

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I think when Websters put that definition in 70 was FAST!

Blake Noble > JasonSpeed 03/16/2014 at 20:07

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Ha! Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :-)

FelixScout > AthomSfere 03/16/2014 at 20:08

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My dictionary built into my Mac and my Oxford English Dictionary has the same definition. Sorry MW.

Crazy Asian > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:09

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"Anyone remember the third-generation Maxima of the late 1980s? Nissan so desperately wanted buyers to think of it as something other than a brick of Ivory soap they labeled it a "four-door sports car." Reminds me of the maxima commercial from a few years ago where a 370z owner came home to a wife who finds out she's pregnant and the guy gets upset about his z, then suddenly he's able to turn it into a maxima by pulling the bumpers out and then he was happy again. As if a maxima was just a 4 door z.

Goofnik > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:11

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The core problem is simple: People don't want to own a sports car, but they want the image of owning a sports car.

It's the reason why most everything is getting dumbed down, the manufacturers will kowtow to posers with money to burn.

TwentyonePSI > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:12

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My neighbor said he always wanted a 'sports car' - he bought an RX8. He was very, very disappointed when I showed him how much slower than my GTI it is.

SaabLife, because Gripen > mr. idk 03/16/2014 at 20:13

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I'm confused. Why would anyone as an enthusiast care what the "average person" thinks about a car? If I drive a Miata and the "average person" thinks of it as a chick car, what do I care?

Kinda seems against car culture to care about what others think. When I pick a car, its ALL about what I like. Seems like the "average person" should probably "suck-it".

I get you don't like the Miata, but your rant seems a little out of place (do people drag race Miatas? More of a track car).

Matt White > Chaos-cascade 03/16/2014 at 20:13

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That's not a ford and never has been. it's an AC that has been tuned by shelby. Saying the shelby cobra is a ford is like saying the Pantera is a Ford. It's not.

Patrick Frawley > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:13

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Not sure how much it's about stupidity killing the sports car and how much the concept of the sports car was ever a widely-held idea in the first place here in the United States. Back in the 1950s and early 1960s a sports car was ill-understood and mostly something that marked you as being vaguely un-American ("you an' yer funny li'l ferrin car there..."). The Baby Boomers had a better grip on the idea, although, as you noted, the Mustang and its not-quite-sports-car brethren got clumped in with that identifier. (To be fair, there were some pony cars that came dangerously close to fulfilling the idea: the original Shelby GT350, the Trans-Am homologation cars like the Boss 302 Mustang and Camaro Z/28, maybe even the AMC AMX if we're being open-minded here.)

After suffering through the Malaise where the plot was pretty seriously lost for a while, various efforts by high-minded civic activists and insurance companies to take all the fun out of driving, and the rise of what can be called computer-assisted hedonism (see: BMWs with a bewildering number of steering-wheel buttons) and misconstruals like the Fast & Furious series we have to realize that real sports cars are a sort of poorly understood subculture. sort of like real punk rock. Everyone thinks they can talk about it, lots of people can sort of point to various signifiers (both accurate and otherwise), but there's not that many who truly understand.

On one hand it's kind of frustrating; on the other, there's still something special about it.

Matt White > Michael Zaite 03/16/2014 at 20:13

0

That's a super car.

TheSpin > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:14

0

They imported the Pantera for four years. Or is that a GT car? Seems to fit the definition of a sports car.

Matt White > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:14

2

Best I can think, no. The cobra is the closest but that's not a Ford, it just has a Ford engine.

Travis > Greasemonkey 03/16/2014 at 20:17

0

Haha, where is she living that she see's McLaren's once a month and R8's every week?

Also, why is nobody talking about Corvette's? Everyone should talk about Corvette's.

ethanheisler > Chaos-cascade 03/16/2014 at 20:21

0

About as much a Ford as the Hennessy Venom is a Chevy

seoultrain > mr. idk 03/16/2014 at 20:21

3

And when many see a Camaro, they think "overcompensating douchebag car". Aren't stereotypes fun?

Sasaki Kojiro > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:22

2

Live and learn.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cut…
adjective \kt-  n-drd\
: having a clear and definite quality that does not allow doubt or that cannot be changed

Or if you prefer:
http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/3479…

and finally...

Bultaco's JMOD TownCar drives his pa to drinkin > Milky 03/16/2014 at 20:22

0

Ahh, a silver Pontiac Grand[sic] Prix, and the Chrysler crossfire below it!

Mike135 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:25

0

Your turn.

Outie5000 > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:25

0

The original escort used in rally was definitely a "sports" car

Doug Radcliffe > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:29

1

Dude, it's cut and dried http://i.word.com/idictionary/cu…

Michael Zaite > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:30

8

Wait so where is the line drawn where the regular vette is a sports car, but the Viper and ZR1 are not?

Also since this is such a pedant's wet dream of a post to begin with.

Muscle Car's are made out of a normal run sedan of 2 or sometimes 4 doors. You find the smallest car and jam your biggest engine in it, sacrifice a small rodent to John DeLorean, then try your best to only ever go in a straight line. examples include the Pontiac GTO, Chevelle SS, Hemi-Cuda, etc... Being built out of a common production sedan precludes the Viper.

Gran Touring Cars or GT cars or Gran Turismo are 2 or 2+2 cars typically with only 2 doors designed for high-speed cruising and comfort for highway travel. They tend to have a longer wheelbase than sport sedans or sports cars, have specific bodywork and sometimes chassis, smooth powerful drive-trains, and they give you "that fizzy feeling in your pants" when you look at them. Examples include; BMW M6, Aston Martin DB9, Ferrari 365 Daytona, the current 911 (it just is, too long, too cushy), etc... You can drive on the highway with them all day and not feel worn out when you get to your destination. So not at all a Viper.

Race Car any car that is primarily used for racing from this:

to this

Kek360 > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:30

0

Why the hate on the Genesis Coupe? Id say its a sports car. Nice engine, small car, rwd. What more do you need.

MykePagan > Blake Noble 03/16/2014 at 20:30

1

Please, you are too young to be a grumpy old man. The Great Unwashed have been using the term "sports car" to mean any kind of car that looks faster than a grocery-getter. Muscle car, grand touring, sports sedan, hot hatch... all are "sports cars" to Joe Average, and it's not worth getting your panties in a twist. I bet he is shocked that you don't know who number 73 was in the 2004 Superbowl. Worrying about misuse of the term is like being pissed that some random man-on-the-street mistakes you NC-generation Miata for an NB-generation.

MykePagan > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:34

1

This:

MykePagan > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:36

2

Now you are just getting nit-picky. By that definition a Porsche 911 is not a sports car either.

Tucker Grigsby > BadMotorScooter 03/16/2014 at 20:36

3

I think you are right about Ford, but very wrong about Chrysler. Chrysler has definitely sold sports cars, and they've also manufactured cars that I would consider sports cars. The Crossfire is definitely a sports car, the conquest and stealth are probably GTs. Chrysler designed the laser/daytona (sports coupes?)

I would definitely consider the Prowler a sports car.