"Blake Noble" (no-bull)
03/02/2014 at 12:41 • Filed to: Opinions, 2015 Chevrolet Tahoe, 2015 GMC Yukon
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"Blake Noble" (no-bull)
03/02/2014 at 12:41 • Filed to: Opinions, 2015 Chevrolet Tahoe, 2015 GMC Yukon | 2
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Between schizophrenic Oldsmobile ads and manic turbo-wielding GMC trucks, I'm starting to feel like I've written far too much about General Motors these last few weeks. But here I am, once again, pulling up my pants and puffing out my chest, typing out yet another few paragraphs about GM. Don't worry, I plan on easing back on the RenCen-flavored hooch soon, but before I put the bottle down let's talk about GM's new full-sized SUVs for a moment.
When I made my trek to the Louisville Auto Show in — where else? — Louisville, Kentucky last Sunday, GM had brought along the new 2015 Chevrolet Tahoe and GMC Yukon in XL (read: "land whale") format. They both seemed to be genuinely excellent vehicles based on my time crawling around them, but then again, there wasn't much terribly wrong with the outgoing models other than some questionable interior plastics.
So, unlike Tuesday's piece where I shared my impressions of the new Chrysler 200, I'm not really going to spend any time giving you an extensive run down here. Instead, I want to share a realization I had with you.
So allow me to answer a few of your burning questions right off the bat before we really dig our heels in then. Yes, these things are just as gargantuan as ever — I didn't think it was possible, but the outgoing Tahoe almost feels dwarfed by the new 2015 model. Yes, it's entirely possible !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and compel your teenaged babysitter to charge you an extra twenty bucks for her services; the quality, gadgets and ergonomics will likely prove to be worthy of the figure you'll see on the window sticker. Yes, you're going to see every middle-aged middle-class soccer mom in one of these next year, hogging up the middle lane of the freeway going five under the limit, yacking on a cell phone.
It's just business as usual, if I'm honest. Except now these two feel so far ahead of the game, nothing from Toyota, Nissan or even Ford — who also just rolled out an updated version of the current Expedition — seems even remotely competitive anymore.
Forget about the Expedition's new turbo V6, it's still the same basic tilt-o-whirl ride Ford's been bringing to the county fair since that whole wild goose chase in the Middle East started. The only thing that's different is the paint scheme and the ticket price. The Nissan Armada and Toyota Sequoia? Well, the Armada is basically a Motorola Razr with a wet burlap sack for a carrying case trying to convince you it's an iPhone in an Otterbox, and I'm not optimistic buyers will seriously consider whatever replaces it. If the new Tundra is any indication, I have reason to think the upcoming redesigned Sequoia will probably turn out to be a Ford-worthy rehash of the current model when it debuts.
Sure, the Tahoe and Yukon may look like relatively conservative redesigns, but they're completely brand-new and improved in every way. GM could've just updated the outgoing model's interior and the powertrain choices like everyone else, but they chose not to take the cheap way out. They started with a sheet of clean paper. I shouldn't have to tell you that the money GM coughed up to develop these probably will probably prove to be well spent, too.
When it comes to the small arena the Tahoe and Yukon (and, ostensibly, the Suburban and Yukon XL) duke it out in, GM basically owns the fight. Last year, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and twice as many Yukons as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
That's sort of a bombshell, I think. When it comes to other market segments — mid-sized sedans, pickup trucks, you name it — GM is firmly engaged in an all-out slobberknocker, desperately going for that three-count bell only to be knocked flat on its ass into the ropes at the count of one. That's been the story here since Ronald Regan was trying to troll the Soviet Union with nuclear missile programs. But when it comes to full-sized sport-utes, it's the undisputed heavyweight champion. There is no equal to these baroque body-on-frame covered wagons, and there likely isn't going to be anytime soon. GM will stay on top of the scrap heap here.
But I also see a major problem with the new Chevy Tahoe and GMC Yukon twins.
While the interior seems to be nice, the build quality seems up to snuff, and the exterior design is best-in-class, there really isn't anything here that another automaker couldn't easily outdo if they just put the effort in. Chrysler could certainly make a nicer interior if they chose to introduce a Ram-based competitor. And while the Expedition is still yesterday's news, it's actually packing two bits of technology under the skin that the Tahoe still doesn't have — the Ecoboost V6 is a fairly cutting edge powerplant in comparison to the traditional EcoTec 5.3L V8, and the Chevy still uses a live rear axle whereas the Ford has used an independent rear suspension all these years.
So why hasn't someone seriously stepped into the ring yet? Sure, the market for these loveable but ridiculously hopeless vehicles isn't what it used to be when Beanie Babies and dollar-a-gallon gasoline used to be things. But Tahoe sales have also remained fairly stable over the last five years. Believe it or not, demand isn't just going away. You'd think that would be incentive enough for another manufacturer to really step up their game.
Ford, you've shown us that you're capable of being a complete game changer with the new F-150. Maybe its time you considered doing the same thing with the next-generation Expedition.
Blake Noble manages !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , which you can find on Twitter !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . In less than a decade, he's owned more than a handful of derelict and less-than-devine automobiles, including two barely functional Camaros and an '80s Buick having a post-midlife crisis. That is, really, in no way impressive and is just plain sad, you're right. All hate mail, tips, and kudos can be sent to theignitionist@gmail.com. Thanks so much for reading!
jkm7680
> Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 12:46 |
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Panzer Tank. It's just a bit bigger.
Axial
> Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 12:51 |
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Yes. All is right with the world.
The Compromiser
> jkm7680
03/02/2014 at 13:07 |
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Operator error
El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First!
> Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 13:33 |
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Psh, Explorer, that's what you need.
FJ80WaitinForaLSV8
> Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 13:53 |
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I firmly believe that the solid rear axle and V-8 will be selling points for these vehicles over the expedition. What someone needs to do is introduce and affordable model that doesn't state at 40k. Make a tradesman model please either that or make the eventual fleet version available to the public. It should have a bench seat and vinyl floors and the option for the 6.2L.
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Blake Noble
> FJ80WaitinForaLSV8
03/02/2014 at 14:07 |
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I'll agree with you that there needs to be a stripper version of the Tahoe with vinyl seats, a vinyl floor, and the interior out of the base model Silverado. If GM's worried such a SUV would ruin the Tahoe's image and resale value, just throw the Blazer name on the back hatch and call it a day.
Nibby
> Blake Noble
03/02/2014 at 16:02 |
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Dunno if Toyota is going to change it or discontinue it after 2014, but the Sequoia has more power than the Tahoe/Yukon, with 381/400. However the Chevy and GMC definitely beat it in terms of MPGs.
Personally, I don't think any current large body-on-frame SUV looks decent on the outside. I liked the design of the 07-14 Tahoes MUCH more than the new one. But that's just opinion.
BeholdTheCamaro
> Blake Noble
03/03/2014 at 12:47 |
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Tahoes and their cousins have always held a special spot in my heart. They just have an imposing presence that all of their non-GM competitors lack. The truck-like blockiness of the styling makes it, in my opinion, by far the manliest-looking of the truck-based SUV's. It's kind of strange, actually, because they're based off of the Silverado, which is one of the more flavorless trucks, but in SUV form GM's styling just works really well. I think if Ford took the hint and made the Expedition more similar to the F-150 they might have more luck.