A man and his Citroen: 2000 Miles through Europe

"Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez" (apidaonline)
02/23/2014 at 17:41 • Filed to: None

Here's the story of my first road trip through Europe, but it definitely won't be my last. It's VERY pic-heavy, so I'll only copy a bit of it on here. The rest you can read !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

I'd appreciate any recommendations or criticism, constructive or destructive. Thanks!

Here's an excerpt:

Intro

I'm not a rich guy. I spend more time looking at sub-$1000 cars on craigslist than I should, and I consistently undervalue my time when work is concerned. However, I'm a huge believer in the idea that if you skimp on a quality experience in life, the regret of not doing it will cost exponentially more than any initial cost you would've had to pay. Buying something inspirational you'll remember for the rest of your life is way better than saving your money and having a head full of "What If?"

So that's why I bought first-class tickets to Europe for an experience that lasted a little over 2 weeks, stopping in 4 countries and 10 hotels in between. And I'd be driving nearly the entire way.

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Part 1: Leaving Home

If there's anything that I can recommend to someone as a shining nugget of wisdom, it's to always get the premium version of whatever you're doing if you're forced to do it for an uncomfortably long time. Don't cheap out on your mattress, don't buy a base model car, and don't fly economy on transatlantic flights. It's worth it in the value of food alone. Having a seat that folds into a bed at the touch of a button really helps alleviate the stresses of flying, and I'll be damned if I wasn't feeling refreshed and ready for the day by the end of the flight, while my planemates in coach looked like they'd been lost at sea for a month and mildly relieved that they could finally stop drinking their own urine. OK, maybe not that bad, but 9/10ths that. If you can't afford it, save more money. It's 3 times the price for 20 times the experience.

A slight upgrade to the sardine can known as Economy.

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Part 2: Little car, big Paris. | Miles Traveled: 0

I landed in Paris and spent a few days on foot, taking in the scenery and doing the usual touristy things because I had apparently forgotten what I'd written in the introduction to this article. Paris was, as I can best describe, familiarly alien, if only for the fact that I studied French for 4 years and was a huge Top Gear fan. I'll explain that last one - For years, Top Gear referenced European car manufacturers that we didn't have in the States - makers like Citroen, Peugeot, Renault, Seat, and Alfa Romeo (your dad's '85 Spider doesn't count!), and I knew all of them, despite never having seen any before I arrived.

Hipster Citroen was stanced before it was cool.

For some reason, the main streets were packed with tourists and locals, but nearly all the shops were closed, so there were pockets of complete isolation. I'm not saying it looked post-apocalyptic, but if you wanted to play a prank on tourists by having everyone dress up like zombies, you'd get a lot of Americans soiling their cargo shorts.

Days since last incident: 0. Where the hell is everyone?

Oh, there they are.

After a few days of tooling around the town fueled by overpriced bottled water (REALLY, $5.20 FOR WATER?!) and pastries, it was time to get something that ran on actual fuel.

I also found JF Musial's chubby French doppelganger.

I went to the Gare St-Lazare train station to get my rental car, and after about an hour trying to find the rental kiosk, which was in the 3rd subterranean level (it might as well have been in the 3rd pit of hell), I got my car. I'll preface this by saying that I am very picky when it comes to rental cars. I knew I was going to do a lot of driving, and I was traveling with a companion, so I needed something that was fuel efficient, yet had handling that could...um...handle the winding roads I was inevitably going to throw at it. When ordering, I had the option of a Mini Cooper, Fiat 500, or Citroen DS3. I hoped to high heaven it was the Mini Cooper, as I wanted the best handling for my Euro. Turns out fate has a hell of a way to show you that you're dead wrong.

I got the Citroen, and at first glance, it wasn't so bad. It was adequately spacious inside, had an agressive look to it, and it was a 5-speed manual, which was a plus if I was going to whip this thing like a frappucino topping. It had a 1.6l, 89hp diesel engine with 170 lb-ft of torque. I actually had to double-check those figures right now because those numbers seem extraordinarily for the performance this car had. It wasn't quick by any stretch of the imagination, but it made up for it by being chuckable and tiny. Because Europe was established before the invention of horses, the concept of a street that actually led somewhere was relatively new, so driving through European towns involved a lot of doubling back and threading impossible needles with motor vehicles. People that think New York City is cramped would have a claustrophobic episode if they drove through France.

"If you can park 'er, you can keep 'er"

Before leaving Paris for the long journey ahead, I stopped at the Arc de Triomphe for some quick pictures and was quite amazed at the amount of included features in my plucky rental. Backup sensors, navigation, bluetooth audio and phone support, and one hell of a great lookin on the interior. Even though this car was on the cheaper side, the interior materials had an extraordinary fit and finish. The gloss black center trim was a welcome addition, but it did get a bit troublesome because fingerprints showed up so easily. The car also had a stop-start system that turned off the car if you came to a stop in neutral, and turned it back on seamlessly when you pressed the clutch in and put it in gear. It took a little getting used to because all my years as a gearhead told me that this was the wrong thing to happen at a stoplight.

As soon as I stocked up with expensive and weird European snacks, I was on my way.

DISCUSSION (24)

Klaus Schmoll > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 18:13

Kinja'd!!!

As much as I looove hating on Hipsters, this is not the time! What your picture shows is a bone stock Citroen BX being parked.

Maybe, you've heard about the wonders of their hydropneumatic suspension?

TL;DR: This is what they look like when parked. They get to a normal ride height once the engine is started, and even beyond that if need be.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Klaus Schmoll
02/23/2014 at 18:18

Yup, I actually love the pneumatic suspension on Citroens. I was just making a jab at the tucked wheel and negative gap. :)

furiousfley > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 18:19

This is incredibly brilliant writing!

I drive a Citroen myself, even though it's just the predecessor of the DS3's 4door sister more common 4door sister, a 60hp 2004 C3, I found it remarkably coincidential to find somebody posting his road trip story with a Citroen when I thought about doing one myself and just posted my first blog article about my general thoughts and random bullshit about it :D

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > furiousfley
02/23/2014 at 18:24

Thanks! Feel free to recommend the post, so I can get more feedback.
This was my first Citroen, and I absolutely loved it!

BATC42 > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 18:29

I really enjoyed your article. And you went right above where I live (Aix-en-Provence).

As for the speed traps they really are sneaky bastards. I don't think we have the one in the guard rails everywhere yet, but they are trying to. Right now we have multiple lanes speed traps, as well as mean speed traps and also moving speed traps (the radar gun is behind the front licence plate of an unmarked car...). And they also use speed traps in car that are parked on the side of the road....

Fines are 90€ (45 if you pay quickly) and 1 point deducted on your licence (out of 12) for speeding under 20kph over the limit. The last one I got was for driving (on a downward slope) at 92 (they got me at 97 but deduce 5kph as a margin of error) over 90....

And radar alert systems are illegal as such. A navigation system, in France, by law, can't tell you "Slow down dude, there's a radar in exactly 1km", but rather "I think you should pay attention to this nice danger zone that has a radius of 2 km". You gotta love driving in France ^^

I hope you had a great time in France otherwise and with the Citroën. AS you discovered, we don't need huge or powerful cars, a small and nimble hatchback works perfectly, especially since Peugeot and Citroën are the kings of handling.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > BATC42
02/23/2014 at 18:35

Wow, I didn't know that's how the tickets in France worked. It's really funny how car companies use loopholes to get their features in their cars. And I desperately want to get back to France and drive those roads again.

furiousfley > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 18:37

So I did :D

After I saw the photo of the BX I first thought you bought one for the trip, btu it probably wouldn't have been such a smooth trip, apart from the suspension maybe :D

To bad my C3 is in no way comparible to the DS3, this interior and some of the technology is actually really good. This together with the C6 some years ago made me hoping Citroen is going to be as avantgarde as they ever where.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > furiousfley
02/23/2014 at 18:43

It's the most exciting rental car I've ever had for the money.

stuttgartobsessed > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 19:33

What a great article. France and Italy are my two favorite countries (After America of course) and I can not wait to do an epic road trip through Europe. Man I miss it. And I can't believe that you originally wanted the Mini!! The newer Cirtoens (well really all of them except for the late 90's/early 00's) are amazing and I seriously want one here in the States.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > stuttgartobsessed
02/23/2014 at 20:08

I was seriously mistaken in wanting the Mini, especially because we have them here in the States.

stuttgartobsessed > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
02/23/2014 at 22:08

Citroen is one of my top 3 favorite car makes. And quite possibly my most lusted after. I'd love a DS, an SM, or a 2CV or a Traction-Avant. Not to mention a Newer C5 or C6 or DS3 R.

soyjuan > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/02/2014 at 13:44

Here in Colombia the DS3 diesel is not offered, they sell an 1.6 gasoline with 120hp and auto gearbox, or an 1.6 turbo with 160hp and a manual gearbox.
Fun thing is, they both cost the same.
Easy option is easy.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > soyjuan
03/02/2014 at 13:46

I think the crown jewel is the DS3 Racing. I still love the little diesel though.

mathiassssss > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/02/2014 at 14:40

Do not speed in France, they will find you and they will kill you.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > mathiassssss
03/02/2014 at 14:42

Hopefully not with a guillotine.

Happy Panda > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/03/2014 at 06:56

Loving the pictures :-). May I ask what kind of camera/lenses you used for the chateaux?

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Happy Panda
03/03/2014 at 10:55

Thanks! The camera I used was a Canon EOS Rebel t4i. The lenses I used on the trip were the Canon 28-135 f/3.5-5.6, Canon 50mm f/1.8, and Sigma 10-20mm f/4-5.6. I had a cheap tripod for the long exposure shots and a wireless remote to open and close the shutter. A pretty entry level setup :)

brakesnow > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/03/2014 at 11:39

Great article. I also rented a manual diesel DS3 when I traveled to Italy last year. Had unreasonable amounts of fun with all that glorious diesel torque! Didn't really appreciate the mesh-type seat fabric material, too easily trapped crumbs from all the baguettes. That interior was very hip though, loved it.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > brakesnow
03/03/2014 at 11:41

Thanks, I agree!

Happy Panda > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/03/2014 at 14:41

I'm even a bit more entry level, had a Sony NEX-7 with the kit zoom and a 30mm, just switch to Fuji and bought a tripod and some other stuff on eBay, waiting for the delivery man ;-)

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Happy Panda
03/03/2014 at 14:47

Awesome! I love the micro 4/3 cameras, they're a lot easier to shoot with on the go. The 14-42mm lenses aren't bad either, and the built-in image stabilization is something I wish my Canon had.

Happy Panda > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/03/2014 at 14:52

Fuji isn't 4/3 though, both Sony and Fuji do APS-C, but still mirrorless

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Happy Panda
03/03/2014 at 15:05

Which Fuji did you get?

Happy Panda > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
03/03/2014 at 15:12

X-Pro1 with 18mm and 35mm, hoping to get the 23 and 56 as well, but those 2 together are more than I paid for the camera + 2 lenses.