Stupid Hypotheticals - If You Could Drive Any Animal...

"Lets Just Drive" (lets-just-drive)
02/21/2014 at 21:30 • Filed to: None

... what kind of animal would you drive? When thinking up your answer, try to keep in mind the following; fuck physics and because raceturtle. If you could drive any animal what animal would you drive and maybe why?

When I was a dumb little kid, I remember they asked us to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and I drew a rhinoceros because kids are dumb and don't know they can't grow up to be a different species. So, in light of my youthful dumbness, I'd like to drive a rhino. It seems like a relatively low maintenance kind of vehicle with excellent low speed grip and handling and a good top end with lots of torque to get you moving. Plus, it has a horn.

You?

DISCUSSION (48)

Brian Silvestro > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:31

Jaguar

Lets Just Drive > Brian Silvestro
02/21/2014 at 21:32

Hopefully a younger Jaguar as the old ones tend to break down a lot.

Ha!

Cynical > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:33

Hummingbird, 'cuz it's got the best handling.

Brian Silvestro > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:33

HEY OO

Manuél Ferrari > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:34

kangaroo

thebigbossyboss > Cynical
02/21/2014 at 21:34

Also high rpms!!

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:35

A capybara because look at these formidable motherfuckers

Kinja'd!!!

I would even name mine Turbo Tucker, as I mentioned a couple nights ago.

Lets Just Drive > Manuél Ferrari
02/21/2014 at 21:35

"No open beverages in the 'Roo!"

JustWaitingForAMate > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:35

Kinja'd!!!

I don't care that it's extinct! Don't shit on my dreams!

Lets Just Drive > Cynical
02/21/2014 at 21:35

Rev's over nine thousand!

That was too easy and cool

Bad Idea Hat > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:35

A buffalo

Lets Just Drive > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
02/21/2014 at 21:36

I love this answer and I don't exactly know why.

Lets Just Drive > JustWaitingForAMate
02/21/2014 at 21:37

Technically, I didn't qualify it.

I think you're gonna have a lot of insurance claims though, for damage done to other peoples carnimals.

Lets Just Drive > Bad Idea Hat
02/21/2014 at 21:37

Epic call.

You and I, with our Buffalo and Rhino, could totally start a club.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:38

Mantis Shrimp

Bad Idea Hat > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:41

People said bear cavalry was badass. Rhino and Buffalo cavalry? Game over, man. Game over.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:41

A wolverine, please.

Kinja'd!!!

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:42

What makes me sad though, is the fact I couldn't answer to the party question, but had an answer to this half a second after I finished reading, hahah...

Forever alone, amirite? Also, someone should to a DD, Track, Burn with animals.

Thunder-Lips > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:43

I mean.....

Kinja'd!!!

If somebody cuts you off, you can just burn their fucking face off.

Big Bubba Ray > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:43

Kinja'd!!!

DollaMoneyAve > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:43

A horse?

thebigbossyboss > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:44

For me, I'd like to drive a sturgeon. Because dinosaur.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:45

Back when I used to smoke, the saying was, "if you could be any animal, would you pass the bowl?"
But my animal to drive would be a dog, because DORIFTOOO!!!!!

Christopher Keach > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:45

I'm going all-terrain.

Kinja'd!!!

Christopher Keach > Christopher Keach
02/21/2014 at 21:47

There's supposed to be a picture of a water-strider there. Maybe this one will show up if that one doesn't.

Kinja'd!!!

Justino6969 > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:56

Definitely a Tiger, I just can't decide between White and Bengal.

PRBot II > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 21:59

Kinja'd!!!

I'll DD a Whippet. They're quick like a Greyhound. And c'mon, look at that good boy!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 22:03

Whatever it is would have to be brown, have plenty of storage space in the back, run on a thicker and more expensive food source, and I'd have to be able to shift it myself.

Lets Just Drive > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
02/21/2014 at 22:04

In the colors of Guile from Street Fighter.

"SONIC BOOM!"

Kinja'd!!!

Lets Just Drive > Bad Idea Hat
02/21/2014 at 22:08

I couldn't even imagine.

Like, living on this planet when Buffalo roamed in tens of thousands? Put intelligent velociraptors on their backs armed with laser guns and you've just won the game of reality.

Lets Just Drive > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
02/21/2014 at 22:09

Uhhh, pretty sure that's a wolf.

Or, "I think that's a wolf bro, dude."

Lets Just Drive > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
02/21/2014 at 22:10

Do that.

Do that now.

I want to see how people react to burning animals.

And make all the choices ADORABLE.

Lets Just Drive > Big Bubba Ray
02/21/2014 at 22:11

Until it no longer meets CAFE standards and someone euthanize's them.

(See what I did there?)

Lets Just Drive > DollaMoneyAve
02/21/2014 at 22:12

How would that work? I don't even...

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 22:12

I'm definitely no expert, but:

True Wild Life: Wolverine

Lets Just Drive > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
02/21/2014 at 22:18

Kinja'd!!!

If you need an expert, just ask this guy...

Kinja'd!!!

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 22:20

Awesome. :-)

liquid_popcorn > Bad Idea Hat
02/21/2014 at 22:28

I'm so pleased you posted this. So fucking pleased.

DollaMoneyAve > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 22:28

Hmm maybe an elephant then?

/ Having actually ridden both, definitely an elephant. It's like the bro- truck of the animal kingdom.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Lets Just Drive
02/21/2014 at 22:28

You know your sea creatures

thebigbossyboss > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
02/21/2014 at 22:30

I am pretty sure wolverine's are small.

Lets Just Drive > DollaMoneyAve
02/21/2014 at 22:37

Elephants; the Bro-Trucks of the animal kingdom.

Epic.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > thebigbossyboss
02/21/2014 at 22:41

Small, but awesome.

I hadn't really considered the relative size issue though. Maybe we'll just assume I can shrink myself (or the wolverine can grow) for this exercise? :-)