Tesla Model S: Electric Car, Burnout Machine

"Cynical" (cynicalasspootalker) 02/14/2014 at 22:34 • Filed to: None

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Have no doubts, the Model S will burn rubber like a mother.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 22:39

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I really want to like these cars, but they sounds like my microwave, which inturn makes it lose a lot of personality. Plus I think the front is kind of fugly and you can't even choose your own gears(mostly because it doesn't have any)!!!

I wonder how people are going to modify electric engines? Luckily, there is still suspension work that can be done on electric cars.

It's a "Porch-uh" > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 22:40

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Tesla wins. It was almost instantaneous!

Cynical > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/14/2014 at 22:44

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It can be done. Be open to new endeavors. If your microwave did burnouts like this, I'd probably drive it.

Nerd-Vol > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 22:47

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Someone needs a posi-traction!

YSI-what can brown do for you > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 22:56

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It isn't about understanding, it is more about liking the car. It is much harder for me to actually like the car now that it lost all the sound! 80% of the reason I like going to races is because the cars are deafening! Maybe one day people will make an electric car just as loud. Now, if electric cars would allow us to select gears that would make them 100x more appealing.

How about this, as a mode of transport electric cars are great! As something used as a hobby(aka enjoying driving), I don't really like them.

Cynical > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/14/2014 at 23:05

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I get the idea of a spectacle, but you can go to a monster truck rally or watch top fuel dragsters if that is what you are after. I can understand the sentiment, but I don't agree with it.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 23:12

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I don't particularly like either of those, I am big on track racing with turns or rally cars.I think it was one of the F1 drivers that said, they are going to have a hell of a time trying to make electric racing into a spectators sport.

I mean the people aren't there to look at the car.

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > Cynical 02/14/2014 at 23:18

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merica

Cynical > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 02/14/2014 at 23:35

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Tesla knows that to be a successful American car company their cars must burn tires like a Ukrainian protester.

CPT Speedbump > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 04:41

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Yes..burnout machine.

Cynical > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 06:12

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Let's be real. The king of self immolation is Ferrari. At least Tesla investigates theirs, unlike most auto manufacturers, who would rather sweep it under the rug.

CPT Speedbump > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 09:22

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Still both burn though ;)

Cynical > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 09:34

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Yes, so does every other car ever made, pretty much.

Let's look at some numbers:

Ferrari 458s on the road (only one of their self immolating models, among many):

1248

Number of fires before recall:

5

Source of numbers

Number of Tesla Model S on the road:

Approximately 50,000

Number of fires to date:

4

Source of numbers If you'll notice, the ratio of fires to cars on the road is much in Tesla's favor. It is mostly knee-jerk worry warts that are making it seem like a big deal. And Tesla is a small, new car company that is testing new technologies. But, they still have a better track record than pretty much any car company, especially car companies in the same price bracket. Now that I've done the work, feel free to continue trolling.

JACU - I've got bonifides. > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 09:41

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"...who would rather sweep it under the rug."

Like, you mean after the fire's out, right?

RedRoab > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 10:39

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Select gears on an electric motor? I'm baffled. That's like a floppy paddle cvt.

Stefan25 > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:42

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Now drift it

signintokinjalol > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:43

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Kinda...dull.

YSI-what can brown do for you > RedRoab 02/15/2014 at 10:43

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Yup, you can do it with electric engines! Formula E cars has a sequential on their cars, which is the whining you are hearing.

thomas schaefer > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:44

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boring

needs more V8

Rü$ > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:51

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One wheel peel for the bird. Tesla wins.

PardonMyFlemish16 > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:53

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Engine sound is about 40-60% of what I enjoy about cars. Barring a convincing (and versatile) enough engine note generator I really want nothing to do with them. I get that I can fill em up with energy from a waterfall. OK. Maybe for a self-driving commuter that's fine. But for a car I drive for enjoyment? Hydrocarbons please.

Euro Dan > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:54

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Firebird at the end 1 wheelie peelie :)

Cynical > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:55

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The look and sound are what you are complaining about? There is no pleasing some people...

KnifeKnut > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:57

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Someone show this to Mr. Musk and ask him to program up a burnout mode! Shouldn't be hard since so much of this thing is software governed. It would look even cooler than this! Just make it keep the front (or rear, if that is what rows your goat, see pic) tires locked up until you let off the brake. Hell, depending on how the differential works on these things, you might be able to do burnouts just on one side!

JSLee > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 10:58

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Sort of off topic, but whenever I see a Tesla S it seems very low to the ground especially from the rear. It looks like a family of 5 is in the backseat/trunk.

Zoom > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:02

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That Tesla really needs a big block V-8 engine track blasting from the audio system.

Then the brain makes sense of it all.

VirgilMungo > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:08

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I like the idea of taking your green car and making clouds of smoke. But it is kind of screechy without some engine roar- needs the XLR8 app to pipe in some good engine sounds over the stereo.

Iwaswonderofwonders > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 11:08

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Nahhh... this a burnout machine.

Fuel_of_Satan > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 11:11

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I believe the old Honda Insight had a manual transmission as well, though that's a hybrid not pure electric. It is definitely possible, I seem to remember Tesla talking about having tested a (2-speed I think) transmission in the Roadster, but it just kept getting ripped apart, so they removed it. Fix that issue and we're getting somewhere.

And thank you for making my morning with some Chevy ear-nectar and McLaren porn!

Tentacle, Dutchman, drives French > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 11:13

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You want to like the car? Test drive it!

I haven't got the experience myself, but I know someone who has recently ordered a Model S. He read about The Tesla Grin before he test drove and he can confirm it's real. The instant availability of oodles and oodles of torque is unlike anything an internal combustion engine can bring to bear.

Sure, it's different from an IC car. It doesn't sound sexy. You have no third pedal. But that lack is fully compensated by that instant massive shove up your back from the electric drive.

EmotionalFriend > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:15

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Yeah, what a bunch of cynics.

EmotionalFriend > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:18

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I actually like that there's no sound. Kind of makes it even more savage when complete silence is interrupted by tires screaming for their lives.

joekitch > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:19

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fun fact, people buying nissan leafs often disable the traction control first thing and constantly chirp the tires at stoplights
often times the service for a nissan leaf involves tire changes since owners are constantly chewing through them because of this

kayjaycee > Stefan25 02/15/2014 at 11:23

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And set the video to the tune of "Electric Slide."

Stradale > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:26

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Let me get this straight, the hipster with pulp fiction tee shirt and a beard owns a Tesla and can't do a good burnout? You don't say!

I prefer my burnouts to sound and look like this!

Schaefft > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:27

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Gotta say Id much rather see the Roadmaster in the background do a burnout!

FikiCro > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:37

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Concept_One could be better burnout machine :D

Pdexter > Stradale 02/15/2014 at 11:39

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That's more like it! Thank you.

BLOZUP > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:40

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Yeah, the 800+ ft.-lbs. at zero RPM aren't enough...

shirosake > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 11:43

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No, there was what, 4 Tesla fires? 4 in over 25,000 deliveries? Way less than the national average. WAY less.

shirosake > KnifeKnut 02/15/2014 at 11:44

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Honestly, Musk is cool enough that he would probably do it.

TheBryanJZX90 > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 11:45

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Have you ever used one of the Citroen electric race cars in Gran Turismo? If they made electric cars sound like that in real life I would buy one.

shirosake > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 11:47

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I actually had one haul ass off the line next to me one day and I thought it sounded wicked cool. Videos seem to make them sound like *insert appliance here*, but in person, they sound neat. Now, now 991 GT3 neat, but they still sound neat.

shirosake > It's a "Porch-uh" 02/15/2014 at 11:48

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Yeah, great thing about electrics, insta-torque!

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > BLOZUP 02/15/2014 at 11:50

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But! But! V8! Carbs! Bias tires!

estoril > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 11:50

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absolutely ZERO skill. terrible video, why is this even posted.

midengineer > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 12:00

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Completely agree, the tesla burnout was plenty smokey but it just didn't seem... right? Like you said, the sound of cars can be as, if not more, attractive as the cars themselves; the tesla just seems like a machine.

G8GT364 > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 12:05

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I agree. I Actually really like the Tesla and think its a gorgeous vehicle but Ic ould never see myself getting 100% enjoyment out of it because to me the mechanical symphony going on under the hood is as important as performance. I dont care if it smokes that Firebird, id take that all day long.

G8GT364 > signintokinjalol 02/15/2014 at 12:06

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Just wanted to tell you your avatar is awesome. Death is one of my favorite bands.

Maxaxle > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 12:07

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The sound could be worse; we could have a BMW solution inside the car.

signintokinjalol > G8GT364 02/15/2014 at 12:07

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Thank you!

Maxaxle > FikiCro 02/15/2014 at 12:07

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That's a purpose-built sports car/supercar, but I like where you're going with this.

Maxaxle > Stefan25 02/15/2014 at 12:08

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Road and Track already did that, IIRC.

Sky Blue > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 12:14

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Tesla burnout = lame.

Firebird burnout = less lame...only because we could hear the engine.

AJ bought another motorcycle > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 12:16

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Get some dam posi-traction on that bird! also horrible video

TheCrudMan > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 12:17

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You do choose your own gears. It has one. It's not an automatic.

TheCrudMan > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 12:20

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I like an engine note as much as the next guy, but what I like more are power, handling, and vehicle dynamics...especially when attacking a track or good road.

Can we all just step back and be thankful that one of the most successful electric car makers, for all the sins you think their vehicles have, are making driver's cars? Isn't that awesome? It doesn't have to be leaving with you with nothing to complain about but a lack of engine note...and yet, it does.

Ansel > JSLee 02/15/2014 at 12:29

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Neat fact: tesla s have an insanely low center of gravity

YSI-what can brown do for you > TheCrudMan 02/15/2014 at 12:47

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So what you are telling me, is that you can't choose gears.

Breakfast Burrito: The True Resident Burrito > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 12:49

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"I wonder how people are going to modify electric engines"

You must never have had Zip Zaps as a kid.

RedRoab > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 12:50

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Interesting! I wonder how much faster that gets them to top speed versus a single speed.

wiffleballtony > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 12:52

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Yes actually. Its like watching a blockbuster movie in black and white with no sound.

wiffleballtony > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 12:53

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Good effort but still not interested.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Breakfast Burrito: The True Resident Burrito 02/15/2014 at 12:57

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I didn't have anything as a kid. :'(

DetroitMuscle > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 13:00

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As an inveterate big block muscle car enthusiast,I have to admit I'm starting to grow a little interest in Tesla and their ways.Like so many others,I don't know that I could fully appreciate the sheer electric power without the noises,vibrations, and smells that make conventional machines so exciting.But,what the hell,I'll try to like Tesla anyway,especially given the money their stock has made me and the strong can-do example Mr.Musk has shown the doubters like myself.

Charley V > BLOZUP 02/15/2014 at 13:14

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Snooze. Because you just described an elevator.

cole-spt > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 13:19

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Worlds most boring sounding burnout!

Axial > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 13:29

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"Burnout," not burn up!

Frankenbike666 > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 13:34

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I wonder how people are going to modify electric engines?

Custom windings, bigger motahs, bigger batteries, super low resistance cables, add motors to wheels that the car didn't come with, change the acceleration curve, add a giant capacitor to the regeneration system so you dump even more power, very suddenly, into the motor.

Unlike an IC engine, where your power delivery and conversion to mechanical energy happen in the same place, you can't get MOAR POWAH by just modifying the motor. The motor is more like an IC crankshaft in some ways.

You need to put more electric power INTO that motor, and that means you need to modify power storage, kinetic recovery (regeneration), and power transmission between power sources and the motor.

It's true, you can't really do much to an electric motor. Certainly, there is not much you can do to the motor to make it more powerful, but then that's largely true of most modern engine. You can do a tune, put on a larger turbo (or put on a turbo), put in a more efficient intercooler and piping, exhaust, BOVs, cold air intake, etc. But hardly anyone will actually modify an engine anymore.

When I was younger, you got a car with some sort of small/big block V-8, changed the cams, enlarged the valves, put on tighter valve springs, maybe high performance rockers, solid lifters, change compression, change cooling direction (heads first!), bigger carbs, more carbs, more barrels, more efficient manifolds, high power "new" electronic ignitions, and you had a little plastic bin with about 20 compartments all filled with different jets to try and get the most fuel/air into your engine (altitude/humidity compensation didn't exist back in the 70s).

There are still people who muck with some of that. But back then, every gearhead did that sort of thing. These days, you don't need to change jets, and you don't need to change cams. All of these things can be modified electronically with a "tune". Sure you can change to larger volume injectors, swap out a K04 for a K03 turbo, and I'm sure people still rip an engine apart and put in a stronger crank. But few people bother anymore.

"Tuning" is an electronic activity already. Electric cars just require all electronic tuning. Beyond tuning, it will be like it always has been. Modding cars has always been about seeing the engineering of the power system of a car as a starting point for re -engineering that power system.

TheCrudMan > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 13:48

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You choose gears. First and reverse. This car does not have an automatic transmission. You are not putting it in "drive" you are technically putting it in first.

What's the point of a manual transmission? It's not to play with a pedal and lever. It's about purity. Control. Having as direct a connection to the machine as possible in its purest sense. Not having something between you and what's happening. An electric car's "transmission" is like this. It is as pure a connection to the nature of that machine as you will get. It is pure, like a manual. It is not polluted and cumbersome like an automatic.

YSI-what can brown do for you > TheCrudMan 02/15/2014 at 13:51

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So wait, what you are telling me that the Tesla Model S. The car without a gearbox has gears. Yes it has that stupid gear with a 10:1 ratio but that isn't the gears I am talking about.

onerunjunior > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 14:20

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I'd take the Firebird over the Tesla even with the one-wheel-squeal.

Curiousplay > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 14:23

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There's a limit to how much you try to live up to your idol Tesla.

tine123 > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 14:30

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Well that's a suprise.

PardonMyFlemish16 > TheCrudMan 02/15/2014 at 14:55

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No, I think it's intellectually dishonest to not actually look at electric cars objectively, just because they are "electric driver's cars". Emotionally, the lack of an engine note and gears is a pretty big thing to get over. And dynamically this thing can't be all that...it weighs nearly 4,800lbs, or ~500 more than a current M5 (and ~1000 more than the holy grail benchmark E39). I don't see what is to be gained by giving these guys a pass for getting halfway there. Electric cars are not mature yet and it's not a bad thing to acknowledge that.

StayPutReachJump > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 15:08

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Sounds like from your argument, 40-60% of the time, if a race car sounds best, it wins the race. Or, if a Donk sounded great, you'd like it even if it was a shitty handling car.

While that's fine for you, its not fine for me. I judge by performance, and the Tesla scores pretty high. I actually like how its stealthy silent and still goes like stink.

PardonMyFlemish16 > StayPutReachJump 02/15/2014 at 16:16

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No. If a race car wins a race, it wins because it crosses the finish line first. It might be because the car is fast, or the driver is fast; either way, it has nothing to do with whether I like it more or less. The value of a donk isn't in its performance or sound so evaluating it on those grounds is stupid.

If all that matters to you are the test numbers a car generates, that's fine. But to me that is a pretty stupid way of determining whether a car will be fun or not. I've driven a GT-R in its element... it's boring as hell, despite its excellent performance. Performance with no kind of engagement or character is pointless, and the only way a GT-R could have had less engagement/character would be if it weighed another 1000lbs and had an electric motor.

John-Palazzo > EmotionalFriend 02/15/2014 at 16:41

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YES!! YEEEESS!! Finally someone that shares my opinion on the bad-assery of silent burnouts!!

CelrDwelr > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 16:47

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By all accounts, the Tesla is a fast, comfortable, good handling vehicle that people like and buy by the thousands. If it can do burnouts, that's just a bonus. If you like your car to be noisy, fine, but that's only coincidental to the motoring world. As there are more and more electrics out there in the future, it'll be less and less important.

PardonMyFlemish16 > CelrDwelr 02/15/2014 at 16:49

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A Camry V6 is also a fast, comfortable, good handling vehichle that people like and buy by the thousands. Doesn't make it a good performance car, or a fun + engaging driver's car. And the growing presence of electric cars doesn't make the fundamental tenets of what makes a good driver's car any less important.

vominator > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 16:51

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I could light up the tires in my dad's MG Midget. And it screeched like it should, not all like "fwwwsshhhhhhhh" and stuff.

Thedude > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 16:52

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Yeah... the lack of any motor sound just doesn't do it. I'll stick with ICE for my smokey burnouts.

CelrDwelr > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 16:57

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Would you personally claim then that it is impossible to make an electric car that's also a good driver's car? And have you driven a Tesla? What about the Tesla roadster? Heck, what about Formula E? I have not driven any electric car (I'm not even counting a friend's Prius I drove once) but I don't feel like the presence of an internal combustion engine is the one critical component to a "driver's car." Technology holds other answers as well.

PardonMyFlemish16 > CelrDwelr 02/15/2014 at 17:11

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No, I haven't driven any electric car. And no, I wouldn't claim that it is impossible to make an electric car that is a good driver's car. But with existing technology I would say it's very difficult, if not outright impossible. Cars can't be built with technology that doesn't exist yet, and the low energy density of batteries (compared to gasoline) puts electric cars at a serious dynamic and practical disadvantage.

Like I said, the engine noise issue can be fixed. But the idea that electric cars are on par with gas cars, or will be any time soon, is very unrealistic. Wanting electric cars to be good won't make them good, and that's exactly what you seem to be doing.

TheCrudMan > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 17:19

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I've ridden in one at an autocross. It handles pretty well. All of that weight is very very low. Incredibly low center of gravity.

Redjohn > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 17:20

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Well you could always do what west coast customs did in pimp my ride. Put some speakers underneath the car and play some badass v8 sounds on it :D

maz > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 17:23

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It's like you've shut your eyes and stuck your fingers in your ears and are vocally repeating 'the model s can't be a good drivers car it just can't it can't' over and over so that you can ignore all of the reviews, reports, road tests, and comparisons that show it matching and often even outperforming competing full size luxury cars. Shit if NOISE is fully half of your criteria, I'd argue that you wouldn't know a 'driver's car' if one ran you over.

duuude > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 17:24

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All they need to do is pump some of that DC motor windy goodness into the cabin... and make sure it has enough power to shake the suspension. I had an old r/c monster truck when i was little... with proportional steering, full rubber tires, suspension etc.. drifting that around was a hoot and it made a crapload of noise from the huge motor. It had a nice little grumble when u fed the power easily too. Rest assured, if that thing could be that cool, an enjoyable full sized car is just as possible.

PardonMyFlemish16 > maz 02/15/2014 at 17:27

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What comparisons? And why have you taken a personal stake in ensuring that any and everyone is in agreement that the Tesla Model S is a great driver's car?

bigmark6969 > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 17:52

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engines are not electric.

YSI-what can brown do for you > bigmark6969 02/15/2014 at 18:03

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right. . . and who cares?

Masterofgoingfaster > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 18:05

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I like this a lot and this is not something I have against it but did anyone else hear engine sounds in their head when watching the gif?

StayPutReachJump > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 19:19

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You sound jaded: "I've driven a GT-R in its element... it's boring as hell..." Driving a car to its ragged edge is "boring as hell?" Are you sure you're driving it right? Maybe it wasn't actually the right element you had it in; My 110 hp 1973 Volvo 1800ES sucks on tracks, but its awesome on tight mountain roads.

Different strokes for different folks, I'll give you that. I just disagree with you on the importance of engine noise in the question of driver experience/engagement and as a significant value consideration on the success or failure of electric cars. Engine noise is not important to me in an electric car. In gas cars, engine noise is very important because they are tied closely to the transmissions and the sounds of the engines is key to getting the best performance from the car. That simply isn't necessary in a car like the Tesla. When driving a Tesla at or near its limits, I actually like to have the windows down so I can hear the tires. You can actually gauge how much grip you have based on the sound of the tires as you corner, brake and accelerate. It gives me a much finer sense of how close the car is to its limits, far clearer than any ICE car I've ever driven. That's my sense of engagement and I find it thrilling.

cardriverx > Tentacle, Dutchman, drives French 02/15/2014 at 19:32

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I got to drive one, the tesla grin is so real. I was laughing!!! Closest I can compare is the roller coasters that shoot you at the beginning with linear accelerators. You punch it and its like the hand of god shoves you in the seat and just holds you there until you loose the balls to keep the throttle pinned. Noise be damned, I love these cars.

f2hype > Cynical 02/15/2014 at 19:33

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1:1 scale RC car FTW.

StayPutReachJump > PardonMyFlemish16 02/15/2014 at 19:42

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The Tesla Model S is not a Camry V6. Its a hell of a lot faster than a Camry V6, handles much better and is more comfortable. I'm speaking from experience.

And yes, a Model S costs a lot more than a Camry, so my expectations of performance are likewise higher. So far, my experience with Teslas have not disappointed me in my expectations.

PardonMyFlemish16 > StayPutReachJump 02/15/2014 at 19:46

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I drove it at the track. If a GT-R isn't exciting at the track, where is it exciting? And I'm not jaded. My Z and my motorcycle still excite me. The 458 Italia I drove at the same track day still excited me. The GT-R was fast, but that was it. There were no other positive/distinctive characteristics to the driving experience.

I don't need tire noise to find a car's limits. I can go by the seat of my pants and the feel through the wheel. I'd much rather have that than tire noise. A Camry generates plenty of tire noise but gives you no kind of feedback at all. Not to mention above parking lot speeds the noise and wind from an open window will drown out tire noise easily. Your "tire noise = engagement" theory kinda doesn't make any sense.

PardonMyFlemish16 > StayPutReachJump 02/15/2014 at 19:54

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Good for you. I like light, naturally aspirated ICE cars, which Tesla has yet to make. When they make something that can approximate that experience, rather than force me to recalibrate my expectations around their shortcomings, then I will give one a whirl. Not to downplay what they have done or write their cars off as I'm sure they're great for what they are and the technology available. But what they are making just isn't for me.

blahrgen > CPT Speedbump 02/15/2014 at 20:15

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Frenchlicker > YSI-what can brown do for you 02/15/2014 at 20:21

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So basically your telling me they should put fake sounds in in like in the cars that everybody on here bitched incessantly about for months? Also if they gave you gears for this car it would just get destroyed, if you recall they tried but the gearbox kept getting burnt up.