I really quit

"CAR_IS_MI" (car-is-mi) 11/04/2014 at 15:11 • Filed to: None

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I mean seriously. Just spoke with a fellow who couldn't understand how to click and drag.

Sir, click on the item, then drag it to where you want it.

- it's not working

okay, so take your mouse, hover over the item, left click, and drag

- nothing

- it says [reads pop-up menu from right clicking]

sir, you right clicked on it. You need to left click.

- oh.

-nope. nothing. it's not working.

(audible noise in back ground of him continuously clicking mouse)

sir, you just need to click it once and hold, not click repeatedly.

- I... I'm just not getting what you're saying here.

okay so hover over the item.

-ok

now depress the left mouse button but do not lift your finger

-ok

so your still holding the button down?

-yes

ok, now, while continuing to hold the button down, drag the item to where you want it to be.

- not working.

- I think your programs messed up

[me in my head: yes sir, your right, it works for 10,000 other people just fine, but you're probably right, it's probably our stuff thats not working right]

(remote logs into customers computer)

sir it appears to be working fine for me.

- you musta downloaded something.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Ughhh. please. shoot me.

/ rant

EL_ULY > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:13

1

ttyymmnn > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:14

0

You must have been speaking to my father.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 11/04/2014 at 15:16

0

If this video isn't Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - Internet Helpdesk it should be.

OPPOsaurus WRX > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:17

2

at least he figured out how to click the mouse. I wouldn;t assume that with our secretary.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:17

3

I know your pain. This happened at least a few dozen times when I worked tech support for Alltel.

"My phone isn't working"

"Are you calling from that phone?"

"No"

"Ok I need you to take the battery out"

*click*

All the time. Now if they actually managed to call from another phone and I told them to turn it back on I'd always get asked "do I have to put the battery back in first?" Nah.. batteries are just an optional accessory. In fact the phone itself is powered by the Earth's magnetic resonance.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:18

1

I can, after torturing my brain sufficiently, imagine a person with basic e-mail/etc. skills somehow never managing to learn that, but holy shit.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:21

1

Sounds like you work where I work. Funnily enough, I work in an IT department. Go figure.

CAR_IS_MI > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 11/04/2014 at 15:21

2

yea I get those too. "Do I have to plug it back in before I turn it on?"

- No. It actually has built in wireless power. The power cord is just there for aesthetics.

CAR_IS_MI > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/04/2014 at 15:24

1

Yes, I agree, I could see say maybe my 80 year old grandmother who still has a rotary dial phone not understanding this.

A man, who supposedly uses computers to create volumentric efficiency tables and fuel tables based off of MAP pressure for electronically controlled motors... Not so much. Seems like computer 101 to me.

CAR_IS_MI > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 11/04/2014 at 15:25

0

I don't. I am supposed to work with the people who make your cars and motorcycles run properly and efficiently... I am scared for the future.

Too many M's > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:26

3

Brings to mind an old customer support story....

"Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

....."Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

....."Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

....."Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach it."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really! Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:27

0

I guess got shown how to use the computer for that and NOTHING ELSE. Might not even have his own.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:28

3

I'm supposed to work with people who design the medical documentation software that is supposed to keep you safe and catch nursing/physician SNAFUs while you're in hospital. I'm more scared.

ly2v8-Brian > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:29

1

that makes it even more; how the fuck don't you know this?

Edit: f-ing auto correct

CAR_IS_MI > Too many M's 11/04/2014 at 15:29

0

There seems to be a disconnection between the user and the brain...

I've had those before though. Cust calls in all mad "your product is junk, shit, blah blah blah" ... long story short, sir, is the power cable plugged in? What! yes of course it's... oh. no. sorry. yupp, it works.

CAR_IS_MI > ly2v8-Brian 11/04/2014 at 15:34

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I actually broke down one day with another customers stupidity and had to explain to him how an internal combustion engine works. He was literally in awe. DUDE! This is what the fuck you're supposed to be doing. How are you an "engine builder" if you don't understand the inner workings of an engine?!?!

ly2v8-Brian > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:36

0

I'm really concerned now. These people. Are they engineers?

mcseanerson > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:39

1

I know those feels. Used to do tech support for Verizon Fios. As bad as trying to explain how to hook up component video cables to a color blind person is it's worse when it's the new employees who are dumber than a bag of bricks.

I used to help out with training and one of the new employees was on a 25 minute call when our goal time was 12 minutes. She had her hand up so I was hopeful. I went over to ask her what was wrong hoping she was just stuck on a simple troubleshooting step.

That's when she stopped me and said she didn't need any help troubleshooting despite being on a call twice as long as it should take and said she knew what she was doing. I asked her what she needed then and she asked me how to copy and paste....

This is why nobody likes calling tech support.

CAR_IS_MI > ly2v8-Brian 11/04/2014 at 15:39

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No. thank god. but mechanics, yes. Some of whom have made lots and lots of money "tuning and building" high performance vehicles.

mcseanerson > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 11/04/2014 at 15:41

0

I loved when people pulled out the batter while they were on the phone!

45bullets > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:42

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you must depress the left mouse button and continue to depress it while simultaneously moving the mouse to the location while still depressing the left mouse button.

CAR_IS_MI > mcseanerson 11/04/2014 at 15:43

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lol. It's the opposite for me as my tech calls are to people whom are supposedly trained and certified and what not, so I go into the call expecting there to be a minimum amount of understanding, yet I constantly find myself having to explain minor things like the difference between DC and AC voltage, or what that little horseshoe thing on my multi-meter is for...

ly2v8-Brian > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:44

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Still though, wow. Maybe their 'Tuning' is the body kit and speakers variety, I hope, given what you said.

CAR_IS_MI > 45bullets 11/04/2014 at 15:45

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great. now im depressed

45bullets > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 11/04/2014 at 15:46

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clarkson: "I see that the fuel is going through the pipe and then going back into the earth"

may: "yes, you see, this car doesn't deal with all this combustion nonsense"

CAR_IS_MI > ly2v8-Brian 11/04/2014 at 15:46

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Not if they have our equipment it's not.

ly2v8-Brian > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 15:47

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wow

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > 45bullets 11/04/2014 at 16:10

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Combustion really is overrated. I propel my vehicle on sheer smugness

jariten1781 > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 16:17

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I could go on for ages about my life in phone support.

When working for Compaq approximately 90% of my calls were for people whose mouse 'didn't work'. 100% of the time it was because the ball needed to be popped out and the rollers cleaned. Explaining that over the phone was impossible and many times the people would return them for warranty. I firmly believe that laser mice becoming popular was due to an underground movement by phone technicians.

One of my favorites when I worked for DirecTV I got a call from a professional installer when 'the signal meter didn't work'. 2 hours of being on the phone and multiple times of telling him to trace the wiring to the dish (which he said he'd already done) it turned out that there was no dish and he had it plugged into a roof mounted antenna. "Well, you guys never told me it wouldn't work with an old antenna. What am I supposed to tell the customer, I told him he could save money by not buying a dish.........."

ranwhenparked > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 16:21

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This really reminds me of a conversation involving a former boss of mine.

Boss: I'm trying to write an email, but I have notes in a Word document that I want to use as a reference, is there a way I can have them both open at the same time?

Coworker: Yes

Boss: you say that so matter of factly, how would I do that?

Coworker: Open Outlook, then open Word

Boss: but then I still couldnt see them both at the same time

Coworker: Oh, you mean you need to resize windows!

Tareim - V8 powered > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 16:35

1

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 18:57

1

Your grandmother has a rotary dial phone? That makes her cool in my book.

CAR_IS_MI > Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready 11/04/2014 at 19:02

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Yes, and its still plugged in and fully functional.

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 19:09

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Fuck yes.

Svend > CAR_IS_MI 11/04/2014 at 19:51

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I get this with my family ALL the time. I'm not a computer wizkid by any stretch of the imagination. So I completely know how you feel. It's especially disconcerting when their jobs years ago was security of the U.K. during the Cold War in the event the war got a few thousand degrees hotter.

I had a colleague at work tell me her Facebook wasn't working and asked if I could look at it. I said sure and spent ages looking as she said nothing has changed on it but none of the her messages were there and all notifications weren't there. As I was using her phone she kept saying I can't login to look at my notification. The phone was saying it was logged in but still no messages or notifications, after some time she points out her husband had set up her own account after their shared one (I hate those ones, you know the ones simon angela watson simpson (ie simon watson and angela simpson) was getting on his nerves as he only wanted it to keep in touch with their son in Oz. It was with this bit of information that I double checked and found no friends in the friends list. I pointed out this was the new account and she would have to add her friends as all her friends, messages and notifications were on the old account. That was my whole lunch break wasted. I even kept asking has anything changed or been altered or anything new been done.

She's a nice lass but at that moment I just wanted to beat her round the head with her own phone.