Inauthentic Automobile Pitch Men: Which are the Least Genuine?

"ACESandEIGHTS" (acesandeights) 11/04/2014 at 12:08 • Filed to: That's a wrap now PAY ME

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Dylan? Nah. Hell, no. Because you thought you'd trot out someone authentically American and working-class, someone who could represent Detroit properly? No, no. Eminem was far more believable.

George C. Scott for Audi. Flimsy, didn't feel authentic 'cause this dude is such a curmudgeon. Plug Audi? Sure. That's money for nothing.

Buy a Toyota. You can be pretty damned sure I don't drive one.

Textured Soy Protein > ACESandEIGHTS 11/04/2014 at 12:26

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I doubt Shaq or Peyton Manning actually drives a Buick.

Actually, Peyton looks just dorky enough to be right at home in that Verano, listening to XM 60 Outlaw Country.

But apparently LeBron got a Kia K900 all on his own and decided he liked it so much that he'd reach out to Kia and ask about endorsing it. Which they were like, "OF COURSE, WHY YES WE WILL HAPPILY HAVE YOU ENDORSE OUR K900 AND SAY THAT YOU CAME AND ASKED US TO DO IT."

Steve in Manhattan > ACESandEIGHTS 11/04/2014 at 17:51

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ranwhenparked > ACESandEIGHTS 11/04/2014 at 18:21

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Michael J. Fox for the Honda Integra, mainly because where he lives, there are no Honda Verno stores and this car was sold with an Acura badge, so actually owning one would have been an impossibility.

ACESandEIGHTS > Steve in Manhattan 11/04/2014 at 20:57

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That was fun. Largely because by the time the Volvo XC existed most Americans had assumed Joe Isuzu was dead.

Side note: we nicknamed a buddy Joe Parallel because as he publicly displayed his parking prowess with an Isuzu Trooper, he managed to get 3/4 of his wheels up onto the curb. Lived down neither that feat nor the nickname.

ACESandEIGHTS > ranwhenparked 11/04/2014 at 21:02

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Wow. For relaxing times, make it Suntory time... That's a wrap, gimmie my f'ing check I'm outta this burg. Anything to declare? Yeah, don't come here. Peace.