Asshat Parking to the Extreme.

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips) 10/15/2014 at 22:13 • Filed to: None

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Your motorcycle doesn't need two parking spots, ESPECIALLY when the state of Alabama decided that Saturday was a great day to shut down to one north bound lane on I65 in Birmingham. Traffic was a bitch to say the least, and the rest area was full. Luckily there was enough room to just squeeze past the handlebars, though I was tempted to kick it over. It doesn't look as bad in the pic, but he was a few inches into the already narrow parking spot.

Other than that, it was a good car spotting trip to north Alabama. I saw a 997 parked next to a prius, 3 944's, a late 40's Chevy hot rod, and a late 40's Plymouth coupe hot rod. No SR20 because my potato no potato through tint.

Ducky > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 22:22

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i always keep in mind that if they're enough of an asshole to park like that, they're enough of an asshole to key my miata when i shove it in anyway

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Ducky 10/15/2014 at 22:31

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Eh, the truck needs a respray anyways. That's mid-2000's Dodge build quality.

OkCars- 22k Crossroads > Ducky 10/15/2014 at 22:41

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Im glad im not the only one that make super future predictions

Derp Herpington > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 22:49

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Was pushing it somewhere obscure not an option? I mean he's already driving a bike with a 315/405 degree firing cycle so if he can't park either then he's a truly hopeless case.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 23:28

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Though I don't live there, I'm from there. Where did you go? Also, it's never a good idea to mess with a man's bike.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/15/2014 at 23:31

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Back to my hometown of Elkmont, just north of Athens. I think we talked about this before, aren't you originally from the Shoals area? And I know, but after driving most of the day, it was very tempting just to back the truck into it and leave. It needs a paint job anyways.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 23:38

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No, Gadsden, just off the 59 north of B'ham.. It's not often I get to speak to someone that actually may have an idea where I am from.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/15/2014 at 23:43

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Oh yeah, been thr0ugh there at 2 in the morning on my move back from Pennsylvania headed down here to hell.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 23:47

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Trust me, you did yourself a favor by not stopping there. There are very good reasons why I moved, but I do miss the low cost of living.

Jesse Shaffer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 23:48

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Motorcycles enter parking spaces in a completely different fashion than cars. He's certainly on the goal-crease, but not completely, certifiably over the line. If the truck was there first - this parking job is, maybe a bit lazy, but valid and excusable. If not - It's a dick move - no doubt.

Does your headline fit? Nope...

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jesse Shaffer 10/15/2014 at 23:50

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Bike was there first and the handlebars were over the line. If you want to be seen, park at the end of the spot(towards the aisle), don't park straddling the line. It is an asshat move, especially given the traffic.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/15/2014 at 23:51

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Alabama may n0t be perfect, but compared to Florida, it's pretty damn close lol.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/15/2014 at 23:59

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Ah, that explains your plate combine with the 'A'....Roll Tide. Anyway, Florida....duuuuude.

Jesse Shaffer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/16/2014 at 00:01

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Do you, or have you ever owned a motorcycle? "Handlebars were over the line" doesn't make you sound as if you have, but my sincerest apologies if I'm mistaken. It's an observation, not a disrespectful comment.

Most riders couldn't give a shit about being seen. It's a motorcycle - everyone is already looking at you. Most riders just don't want their bikes knocked over.

As the bike was there first - Kudos to the Ram driver for his parking. It looks like (upon further inspection) the bike's spots starts a set of extended spots, anyway, which places the bike near the end of the regular spots.

I see nothing wrong with this pic. All vehicles pictured have plenty of room.

Can't we all just get along?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/16/2014 at 00:03

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My Dad's truck, but still rocking the Florida plates on my primer spotted 4Runner.

Florida DMV logic: Let's offer 7 spaces, but not center them.

It drives me insane.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jesse Shaffer 10/16/2014 at 00:12

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All I'm gonna say is, in this instance, if he didn't want it to get hit, he could have parked in the truck parking lot. It was empty as could be, but have some respect for other drivers. Not everyone rides something that you can fit multiples of in a single parking spot. He could have easily parked here.

He also is in a likely spot to get it ran the fuck over, because you couldn't see it past the SUV. I thought the purpose of parking strategically was to not get hit, not for a better insurance claim.

Jesse Shaffer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/16/2014 at 00:31

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Since we're getting all windows+r/mspaint...

This is what you can't see if you've never parked a motorcycle.

Green is the front tire/Blue is the rear. Red/Orange respectively when moving backwards.

If you've parked a motorcycle 15+ times, this is probably how you're going to park it.

At the first (right) G/B color break - you're now on foot - or at least, stopped.

You're off the bike, leaning it in to your body, and proceeding to get it in to position to walk it backwards. If you're lucky - you're still on the seat - but probably not.

At the red/orange lines- you're going backwards. Bikers don't like going backwards. Most of our transmissions don't have that gear. Could he have gone back a few more paces to get in the middle of the space? Certainly...

Does more than one motorcycle fit in a space? Hell yeah, with a lot of visual geometric calculations by the rider(s)

You still got a hyperbolic headline, my friend. Listen to what you're saying... you want the tiny thing to go park in a lorry spot...

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jesse Shaffer 10/16/2014 at 00:55

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Let's replicate the situation. Red dot is the bike, blue is the Expedition, and black is the empty spot. Trucking parking lot was empty, with the exception of a couple of trucks(like in the pic). He could have easily parked there if he wanted to be seen and not hit. As you can see in the pic, it is one way and he was parked on the other side of the Expedition, so you couldn't see him until you started to pull into the spot. The way the lot was designed, it is wide enough for him to just pull in it sideways(yellow box), easy as 1-2-3. I live in Florida and see riders do this all the time, it's easy and you(as a driver) can easily see it in the space.

Jesse Shaffer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/16/2014 at 01:09

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You still just sound like an angry guy in bad traffic.

First off - there was no empty space at your "black line." There was a space with a Ram Truck in it.

He could have parked in the "truck" lot.

Wrong.

This is an appropriated "rest stop." If the biker didn't follow the signs for "truck lot" on the off-ramp, he likely couldn't have jumped the medians easily to get to the "truck" lot... At that point - would you - on a motorcycle? Let me let you in on that - no, you wouldn't.

You just sound pissy, as if you wanted to put your car where the bike was, but got surprised by it as you rounded that Expedition.

Speed.Freak > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/16/2014 at 01:25

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JKER > Jesse Shaffer 10/16/2014 at 01:32

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Having owned many motorcycles and parked in many parking lots, I would say that the biker parked like an asshat. There is plenty of room in that space without having to make other people worry about knocking over someone's bike while pulling in.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Speed.Freak 10/16/2014 at 01:33

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You got kinja'd.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Speed.Freak 10/16/2014 at 01:39

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Now it's there.

Jesse Shaffer > JKER 10/16/2014 at 01:40

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Yeah, it isn't a perfect leaving. It's still more than understandable.

Anyone who has knows that : communities keep these things going.

Parking "incorrectly' only adds to your cumulative sympathy.

If you're bent out of shape on a bike, anywhere, you're out of shape - mentally.

Imirrelephant > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/16/2014 at 09:05

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