"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
10/09/2014 at 15:31 • Filed to: None
3
9|
"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
10/09/2014 at 15:31 • Filed to: None | 3
| 9 |
From UK Motoring News multinational conglomerate colossus Sniff Petrol:
!!! UNSUPPORTED LINE BREAK IN HEADER !!!
by Sniff Petrol on Thursday, October 9th, 2014
President Putin, yesterday
There was surprise in Sochi today as Russia announced that President Vladimir Putin is to enter and win this weekend's Grand Prix.
The stoat-faced psycho is expected to take part in the race using his own specially constructed Putintron Puthousand car fitted with a 9-litre V12 engine and tyres made from those who have disagreed with him.
'The West needs to realise what a talented, handsome and substantially genitalled man the President is,' said a spokesman. 'He is a skilled cook, artist, skydiver, poet, glass blower, acrobat, horse analyst, airship pilot, pastry chef, hovercraft operative and street mime. Now the entire world will see he is also number one race driver of all time.'
'The other drivers will easily move out of the way for the President,' our source continued. 'First, because they will recognise his superior skill. And second, because they will want to see their families again.'
To the surprise of many in the paddock, Putin's aim to take victory in his very first F1 race has met with no resistance from the sport's organisers. 'Bernie does not mind. We understand each other,' Mr Putin is quoted as saying in an interview with Russian television. 'After all, where do you think I got the idea for my leadership style?'
http://sniffpetrol.com/2014/10/09/put…
Smultron
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 15:38 |
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Those guys making the Grand-Prix-Shirts must have seen it coming.
ly2v8-Brian
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 15:47 |
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He'll be straddling two cars á la Van Damme (that's how it's spelled right?), Shirtless, flag in one hand AK47 in the other. He will bring much glory to the Rodina.
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RallyWrench
> ly2v8-Brian
10/09/2014 at 16:01 |
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Krasny Oktyabr, indeed. And if he doesn't win, Marko Ramius will be right offshore waiting to have a "reactor accident."
SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 16:05 |
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Haha, brilliant!
mcseanerson
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 16:28 |
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Maldonado will take his car out but Putin will come from the back to win on his bear.
much glory, so comrade.
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RallyWrench
> mcseanerson
10/09/2014 at 16:32 |
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Ok, you win.
Except that Maldonado races with Venezuelan money, which is cozy to Russia, so he'll be running defense by knocking all the other cars out. They'll be fitting him with a special titanium front wing for just this purpose.
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mcseanerson
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 16:51 |
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You're implying Maldonado has car control.
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RallyWrench
> mcseanerson
10/09/2014 at 17:02 |
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No, I'd never be that naive. Just implying that he could ricochet off everyone else until only Putin remains, then park it.
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mcseanerson
> RallyWrench
10/09/2014 at 17:19 |
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Lol, that is entirely possible. I suspect one day they'll cut the bullshit and just give him a giant pinball.
