The Amount of Absurdity in This Story is Absurd

"SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)" (sammauri)
10/03/2014 at 12:31 • Filed to: None

Okay, so I overheard two girls talking about a news article regarding the blue Maserati (car above. sorry for the shitty photo) that is always on campus so, naturally, I Googled it.

It turns out the owner was arrested for doing 100mph on Beacon St. (the street I live on) and blew a red light. Now, that's excessive and dangerous, but not absurd. The story gets better. When he was pulled over, this guy did three things. 1) Say he left his wallet at home, 2) said the car belonged to his friend, and 3) lied about his name.

PLOT TWIST: None of that was true.

But wait. Lets turn it up one more notch.

Yes, he owns this car. But he's still not legally able to drive it. Why, you may ask? Because this guy only has his learners permit . Not only that, but it's "non-renewable" because he owes parking ticket fees. C'mon. If you have a Maserati on campus in an expensive private school in a city where you don't need a car to begin with, you can pay the parking tickets. That should be included in your monthly budget or something.

UPDATE: The car was not impounded. The keys were simply given to "a female companion."

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

DISCUSSION (29)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:33

All his friends are abiding the law, getting their licenses, paying parking fees, and going to class, and he's just like BRAAAAAAAAAP

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:35

He's clearly far too rich for the rules to apply to him.

For Sweden > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:36

When your father's a CPC National Congress Member, you don't need no license.

Phlegminglib > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:37

Another rich second gen Chinese getting his "American education vacation" so he can go back to China and fuck over more of his own people with slave wages.

Or worse, the son of a high communist party official AND he will fuck over even more of his own people.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:38

//silently rages

It's people like this that give Chinese people a bad reputation.

PS9 > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:39

Mommy and daddy might have turned off the spigot sometime in the past after hearing about the other illegal shit he likely pulled and got away with.

For Sweden > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
10/03/2014 at 12:39

Communism: Not Even Once.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:41

Waiting for a slap on the wrist and an insignificant fine so he can be endangering people again in no time. It'll happen.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/03/2014 at 12:42

The car wasn't even impounded. I would be shocked if it was more than a slap on the wrists.

Imirrelephant > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:42

I bet not paying the tickets is less of a can't and more of a won't ...

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 12:43

Wait. Two people have made reference to his father being a CPC National Congress Member. Is that actually true?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
10/03/2014 at 12:45

I like that he's obviously very wealthy, but doesn't pay parking tickets.

Like, okay, if you're just too lazy than hire someone else to do it, but when you park on the same block every single day and don't pay for your parking tickets, you're going to get the boot.

I've gotten the boot before. I almost missed a flight because of it. Now I just pay my tickets. It's not worth the hassle.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Imirrelephant
10/03/2014 at 12:46

Oh, I think its a can't. But more of a 'cant be bothered.'

Leadbull > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:51

We have a similar situation at my school, involving international students and luxury cars.

I wouldn't be surprised if many of them don't have licenses. I routinely see Bentleys, Panameras, Maseratis, AMGs, etc blowing around town, racking up parking tickets, etc. Recently, an international kid in a BMW blew a red light and totaled my friend's car, and I know of similar incidents that have occurred.

The cars are often put through neglect. They're rarely washed, and whatever damage they occur goes unattended. The Bentley I mentioned above has been running around with bumper damage for a while now.

It's insane how people who barely know how to drive — in this country, or at all — recklessly speed through campus in Maseratis and M3s.

For Sweden > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:52

Probably. Who else sends their kid to a private American school with a Maserati?

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 12:53

Will be a couple thousand dollar fine (nothing to this kid) and a suspended licence (he wont care). Maybe 20 hours of community service too at most.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Leadbull
10/03/2014 at 13:10

Very similar here. Lot's of BMW Ms, AMGs, an R8, and Aston Martin, etc. and they're all brand new. This is the first instance of the year, but I'm sure there will be more to come.

I think they should all give me their keys. I know how to drive, and have a license, and I want them all. That's sound logic, right?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/03/2014 at 13:15

Oh, without a doubt. This is going to be an absolute non-issue for him.

ACESandEIGHTS > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 13:17

[Baleted]

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 13:18

Russians.

Wait, no. Russians send their kids to Stanford with an S7*. My bad.

*This is my friend. She's a brilliant girl (quadrilingual, to just name one thing) and super Russian. Her dad plays paddleball and casually chats on the phone with Putin. I am not even kidding.

For Sweden > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 13:19

Can her dad ask Putin to stop his campaign of conquest?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
10/03/2014 at 13:21

I think this give rich, stupid kids a bad reputation more than anything else.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 13:23

I'm sure he could ask. I don't know what his political views are though, so he might not want to.

For Sweden > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/03/2014 at 13:25

I hear Siberia is nice this time of year.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 13:37

Kinja'd!!!

Could definitely be worse.

JEM > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 14:18

Rich international people. Boston schools like BU are literally crawling with them.

They also send them over here for high school/prep school to increase their chances of getting into a top American college. For a lot of people (at least Asians), the American degree is one of the biggest status symbols.

For Sweden > JEM
10/03/2014 at 14:19

Exactly.

bubblestheturtle > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/04/2014 at 00:21

Afluenza. It's real, look it up. I'm super cerial.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > bubblestheturtle
10/04/2014 at 03:00

I'm unfortunately super aware of afluenza. I went to a private school in Connecticut.