BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash

"Battery Tender Unnecessary" (carac) 01/17/2014 at 00:28 • Filed to: None

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Bad Idea Hat > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 00:31

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Coors Light is the worst.

Manuél Ferrari > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 00:35

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That was awesome!

I love everything the Onion does. But that one was extra good.

Am I the only one who thought the news reporter was super hot?

lone_liberal > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 00:39

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When a beer's main selling point is that it is cold, you know it's crap.

Agrajag > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 00:44

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That's hysterical. This is one of my favorites from the them.

PRBot II > Manuél Ferrari 01/17/2014 at 01:00

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She's a babe.

PRBot II > Bad Idea Hat 01/17/2014 at 01:08

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But it's the world's most refreshing beer with two-stage cold activation for pure Rocky Mountain cold refreshment.

Squid > Manuél Ferrari 01/17/2014 at 01:08

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Dunno, looks like she likes to do a bunch of coke to me... Still wouldn't kick her out of bed though. ..

lonestranger > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 01:11

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Glancing at my desktop, you can see how I didn't immediately notice that this was on Oppo, and I thought it was actual news until I clicked on it:

Manuél Ferrari > Squid 01/17/2014 at 01:12

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Lol

Didn't think about that but now I see it

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 01:20

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This is why we all love The Onion.

Tentacle, Dutchman, drives French > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 03:06

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Correction: Hundreds Feared Drunk In Coors Light Party Train Crash

There are plenty of cues as to the nature of this "news". :D

desertdog5051 > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 05:38

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That was good.

TheKingOfBirds > Battery Tender Unnecessary 01/17/2014 at 07:36

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Love The Onion.