"feather-throttle-not-hair" (feather-throttle-not-hair)
08/18/2013 at 13:33 • Filed to: None
3
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"feather-throttle-not-hair" (feather-throttle-not-hair)
08/18/2013 at 13:33 • Filed to: None | 3
| 9 |
The things we do for our friends.....
So my good buddy and I were on our way to go play a round of disc golf. On the way there, we decided to stop at a corner store to pick up snacks and drinks. So my friend pulled his GTO over to the side of the road and parked right across the street from the store.
"this is a commercial loading zone" I pointed out to him.
"oh, whatever, we'll only be a second, besides they dont really care about that shit" he replied to me.
We went into the store, where i quickly found what i wanted and paid. Waiting outside, my eyes absentmindedly wandering to the other side of the street where a police officer in a Segway and helmet was slowly trundling by.
The officer's head remained fixed on the GTO as he did his slow roll by the car.
"Oh shit." I said. "Dude. DUDE! You're gonna get a ticket!" I exclaimed.
"Nooo, what are you talking about, it's fine" My friend obviously didn't see the cop.
"just...give me your keys" i exclaimed as I snatched them from his outstretched hand. I ran towards the car just as the officer was pulling out his electronic ticketing thing.
"Sorry! Sorry! I'll move the car! I shouted," while jaywalking across the street.
"Look man," the officer was in his mid thirties and wearing sunglasses. He slowly rocked forward and backwards as he continued "You didn't pay for parking AND this is a commercial loading zone"
I gritted my teeth and tried to look guilty, rather than triumphant. At about this time my friend approached and quickly realized what was going on. His response was to not get involved.
"the thing is" the officer continued, "we really can't have people parking in commercial loading zones. These businesses need these spaces for delivery trucks."
"I am Sooooo sorry." At this point i knew that my face had to do the convincing, so I just looked as pathetic and remorseful as possible. I thought about grandpa, who died when i was eight.
Still slowly wiggling forwards and backwards, the Segway cop considered my plea. He let out and audible sigh and gave me a disgusted look. "alright, this one time." he said.
"Oh thank you so much!" I faked. Officer still watching, I unlocked my friends car, climbed into the driver's seat, clutched in and started the car. The LS2 rumbled to life.
I looked over at my friend, now in the passenger seat and slowly shook my head. "Commercial loading zone" I said, as I slotted the transmission into first and gave it some beans.
Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
> feather-throttle-not-hair
08/18/2013 at 13:38 |
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Welcome to the club, bro. Similar situation, except replace GTO with Lexus ES300 and the segway cop an old lady (parking enforcer) in a Ford Ranger. I hate my father.
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feather-throttle-not-hair
> Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
08/18/2013 at 13:44 |
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Dads. Amirite?
heh.
Funnily enough after we got to the disc golf course, my friend jokingly tossed my empty redbull can out on to the sidewalk after I'd gotten out of the car and started retying my shoes "and dont leave your goddamn trash in my car!"
A stranger walking by saw this, looked me right in the eye and said "I hope you're planning on picking that up" in like the most condescending tone ever. We absolutely were, too. I never litter, and despite being kind of an asshole i've never seen my friend litter either.
Twice shamed in half an hour. All because of this one dude.
AcesNines
> feather-throttle-not-hair
08/18/2013 at 14:16 |
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At RIT, the campus safety officers had Segways. One night, one of them was chasing a student across the quad. The kid ran down the stairs towards the parking lot. You could see the Campo just thinking about it, then jumped off and ran after him. 30 seconds later the kid rounds back from the parking lot stairwell into the building, out into the quad, jumps on the Segway, and takes off.
Funniest shit I ever saw in college, hands down.
Coty
> AcesNines
08/18/2013 at 14:47 |
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My friend is into cars and went to RIT.
Kinch?
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feather-throttle-not-hair
> AcesNines
08/18/2013 at 14:47 |
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that is fucking hilarious!
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AcesNines
> Coty
08/18/2013 at 14:49 |
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Nah, I wasn't big into cars when I was at college.
Chris.
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Coty
> AcesNines
08/18/2013 at 14:52 |
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Well nice to meet you Chris. I'm (waitforit) Coty.
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AcesNines
> Coty
08/18/2013 at 15:23 |
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Glad to meet you! Trying to get some of my photos done so I can contribute to oppo in a more positive fashion, but loving the crowd here.
GhostZ
> feather-throttle-not-hair
08/18/2013 at 15:49 |
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On my campus, we don't even get segways. We get these ridiculously oversized three-wheeled monstrosities:
They have a turning radius of about 30 feet and manage to actually be slower than a segway. They probably have a much longer-lasting battery, which is the only possible reason I can see for the added bulk. It's not like they're bulletproof or anything either.