Speedholes, tow hooks, and fartcans

"Z_Stig" (Z_Stig)
08/16/2013 at 21:14 • Filed to: lolcars

What's going on here?

And the GM Hybrid logo? Also notice all the bass in his trunk.

DISCUSSION (23)

Blondude > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:16

I am so confused.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:19

Each hole helps reduce lift by 103% thus eliminating the need for a rear wing.

/trollodynamics

Nerd-Vol > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:22

I get the hybrid thing, if she has a motor swap. For some reason the Honduh community calls motor swapped cars hybrids.

The speed holes, well.

Milky > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:29

#TyteYo

McMike > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:38

Damn, wiper delete too? Gonna need a bigger wing.

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:40

I don't know what they were thinking, but it's possible that the rear bumper acts like a scoop and the holes serve to alleviate the pressure on the interior of the car. Our probably does similar harm as adding a back wing, but I think that was the idea.

Kickplate > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:41

Uh, what's a "Hybird" ?

It's a "Porch-uh" > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 21:48

I love seeing tow hooks on street cars. It lets me know to stay far away since they know that they've f'd up their suspension so bad that the car is likely to careen off the road and will need to be towed out.

It's the same with Ed Hardy t-shirts and douchebags.

Z_Stig > Kickplate
08/16/2013 at 21:57

LOL, I just noticed that.

Lets Just Drive > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 22:02

All joking aside, this picture reminded me of a moment I had today.

I saw an early 5th gen Civic parked next to an Fastonmartinord Fusion and it nearly stopped me in my tracks. It was just a "Duh" moment - these civics were all the rage once upon a time, my friends had them and we'd cram five people in no problem - but parked next to the Fordston Martin it looked pea-sized. What struck me was that the interior space remained roughly the same, roughly.

I thought, "If my idiot friends and me managed to avoid killing ourselves in these 'deathtraps' as they'd be deemed by todays Nanny State, what has gone so fucking wrong in the past decades, so fucking awry with people in general, that now we all need sixteen-eleventy billion safety measures fucking up our shit and costing us at the pump and then the outrage began to bubble up and I couldn't help but think of things like pop-up headlights, cars under 3,500 lbs, and no optional eleventy-million pound infoeducateyourignorantassaboutwhatthefuckyouaredoinginyourowngoddamncartainment systems.
And then I had to have a sit down.

LandSpeed-DSM > dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter
08/16/2013 at 22:03

Dependent on body style and undercarriage it is not uncommon for FWD cars already trapping around ~125mph in the quarter to pick up as much as 3mph by venting pressure from behind the bumper cover with no other changes, even when done crudely.

No guarantee of course.. Adding a chin spoiler and skirts that directs flow around/over the car enhances this. A proper face mask, belly pan and diffuser would be ideal but nearly no one racing econoboxes had the money and resources to develop these.

Nerd-Vol > Lets Just Drive
08/16/2013 at 22:19

You know the difference between a 1993 civic and a 2013 civic? Comfort and space. As a man of considerable height, older cars were simply not designed with actual people in mind. The steering wheel does not have enough adjustment, the seat does not go far enough back, and it means that I can not handle the business of driving in an effective manner.

In a modern civic, I can be comfortable in every seat in the car. I can adjust everything to my liking, and I can actually drive the car in a very aggressive manner because I can actually work in the car. Additionally, the ride is much better and wind noise is greatly reduced. This means that I can drive further and not be mentally and physically drained. All these things make the automobile better for the 90% of it's expected use.

Also, your standard of "We didn't kill ourselves" is terrible misguided. Safety is more than pure survival. What is important now is what sort of condition you will be in after the accident. In that old civic, you may have survived the crash, but are your limbs damaged? Have you hit your head on a hard surface? What about your core, has that been harmed by a more sudden jolt? These are the goals of modern safety, not mere survival but keeping all aspects of the drive and passengers uninjured.

I love the older cars for their simplicity and driving dynamics, but a tremendous amount of good has come from the changes we have seen in cars.

Paul, Man of Mustangs > Lets Just Drive
08/16/2013 at 22:22

It's nice to have all these cars that meet incredibly high safety standards, where you can slide sideways off a 100 foot cliff at 100 mph after careening off of another car and walk away with your two previous bruises healed, but realistically, I can't afford a new car, and will therefore go with the highly unsafe older car that would probably kill me if I so much as glanced at a tree. I want a car that only has maybe two airbags, no ABS, ESC, EMP, FRS, GIF, JPG, ETC, basically just enough to keep me from breaking my femur in a 45 mph collision. Fuel economy would be up, as would fun, sportiness, and grin factor because weight is down!

cbell04 > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 22:27

I have a theory.. Maybe they have a go pro and keep trying to get a sweet recording of the worlds longest fart (what I call a fart can Civic running the quarter mile) but it has nos so it goes so fast it just keeps ripping holes in the bumper cause the go pro mount can't take the forces! Ahh hell... I even lost myself on that one. :)

Lets Just Drive > Nerd-Vol
08/16/2013 at 22:36

At 6'5, I'm no gnome myself. That said, I know only too well what you describe as I've been frequently forced to adapt my physical frame to the volume of space inside of many an older vehicle (many of which were, oddly, Japanese) as well. Having said that , I survived.

I understand what you're saying about the "good" brought about by modern standards in safety and engineering, I do. But at the same time, I don't agree. Once can accept the reason and logic behind the thing, recognize it's impact and still offer different points of view.

My primary contention, and this is fundamentally at the root of how I regard operating a motor vehicle, using the public roads and ensuring the saftey of myself and others, is that we've culturally and socially consented to the idea that it's OK to cater to the lowest common denominator. This is the choice we've made, as a people, and it's part of our very condition it's so deeply instilled in the zeitgeist. It goes well beyond the roads and it is the approach we take in our daily lives - it is the reason we feel so secure within the confines of our environment that we feel it's also OK to detach ourselves from what we're actually doing, moving our focus away from the mundane responsibilities of keeping ourselves healthy, injury free and alive.

Listen, I respect human life. I really, really do. I'm not a sociopath though I am a pragmatic realist and what I am willing to accept is that the species is in no threat of imminent extinction.

I accept the world the way it is, but this is not sufficent to keep me from dreaming up worlds which aren't. Furthermore, I realize I am endemic of the problem itself.

My ire then stemmed only from the evocative imagry, the smaller Civic and the larger Ford, which seemed to say to me, "If we only expected better of ourselves, if we didn't have to cater to the dangerous dumb and could instead build cars and roads that cater to the intellegent and invested, what a world it could be."

Also, it was mostly just satire.

Lets Just Drive > Paul, Man of Mustangs
08/16/2013 at 22:42

If it had taken all of us multiple years of study and practice and come at considerable financial cost to acquire our driving licenses and if those licenses were frequently tested, examined and updated - if gaining access to the roads were at least as difficult as obtaining a firearms license in controlled states or provinces - then I'd agree with you.

Sharing the road with the oblivious, the entitled and the poorly disciplined, however; I fully understand the want for those safety features which mean that when the unaware, repeat offended crashes into you and your family at speed, you'll survive the crash and still be able to kick the other drivers teeth in. I wish that want were not required, I wish that want weren't realistic, but it is.

I just think that there's a way, somewhere in the world, for it all to work out better, a way to work things so we're not always catering to the worst, the least able of those among us.

MountainCommand > Z_Stig
08/16/2013 at 23:26

What else do they do at meets?! Its for a game. When your boy in his 7 second civic show up with his speed holed out whip, you get some tennis balls (golf balls if your professional), step precisely 24 feet from the rear bumper, and take turns bouncing the ball into the holes. Outter holes = more points. Consequently, this may make an interesting drinking game.

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > LandSpeed-DSM
08/16/2013 at 23:28

Actually I thought about routing the exhaust up through the rear bumper (with a ton of insulation) to allow for a full diffuser. There's a hole right about where the license plates are that would fit nicely. Even without fancy cfd just making the underbelly smooth should give you some better airflow and reduce the pressure somewhat.

Paul, Man of Mustangs > Lets Just Drive
08/17/2013 at 00:57

If we actually give people licenses based on their ability to drive, and I mean actually drive, then perhaps we won't need such onerous crash safety regulations.

Lets Just Drive > Paul, Man of Mustangs
08/17/2013 at 00:58

This!

This is what I'm saying!

This!

Paul, Man of Mustangs > Lets Just Drive
08/17/2013 at 01:03

Bi-yearly license renewal driving tests up to the age of 65, after which it becomes yearly, mandatory high-performance driving classes every ten years, with one being part of the original license test (bonus points if you go more often), etc. That alone would be a huge step in the right direction!

Nerd-Vol > Lets Just Drive
08/17/2013 at 14:11

I think you are mistaken however when you state that cars are being built to satisfy the lowest common denominator. You are making the assumption that only the unintelligent are the only ones capable of being involved in or the cause of an accident. Even the most prudent and defensive of drivers can make a mistake or get caught out by an intervening circumstance. Further many of the luxury items found on modern cars are there to satisfy the great majority of drivers, who want nothing more than a comfortable and reliable way to get to their destinations.

You in fact seem to be sad that automakers are not catering to your whims. Ironically people such as you and I make up a very small group relative to the majority of car buyers.

Like I mentioned earlier, I don't disagree with your sentiment or your longing for the cars we grew up with but I think we have to realise that there is a reason why things are changing. We don't have to simply roll over and pretend that we like all the changes, but we should understand that we speak for a very small group.

I hope my post made some sense, this is one of those deals where the thoughts in your head don't translate to text as well as you imagined.

Hermann > Z_Stig
08/19/2013 at 19:20

You got this all wrong, man!

They aren't speed holes, this is where the parking sensor used to be, until some assface stole it!
The tow hook, it's there because he just helped his buddy out of a ditch early that morning.
The fart can, well, that's another misunderstanding. While he was pulling his friend out of a ditch, his exhaust got caught on a stone and he lost it. He found this fart can for $10 on CL and put it while he can't afford a new one.

And the HyBird? Fun story, the friend he pulled out, has a Hybrid, and he's also dislexic. He asked his friend "hey, why does your car say Hybird?" They laughed for minutes and took the badge off the GM and put it on the Civic.

See?