Push Button Ignitions Will Destroy the Human Race

"Eric the RC guy" (ErictheRCguy) 08/07/2013 at 17:24 • Filed to: bearlopnik

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! was just posted on Gawker's front page. The only thing stopping this bear from riding a Sea Doo, and let's face it: doing sweet tricks before destroying humanity, is the fact that it requires a key to start it and bears do not have opposable thumbs. Therefore it stands to reason that bears will soon discover humanity's new fondness for push-button ignitions and will slowly begin taking over the roads. You have been warned.

Also, first post, so I'm sure I screwed this up horribly. I apologize in advance.

Decay buys too many beaters > Eric the RC guy 08/07/2013 at 17:30

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Hoccy > Eric the RC guy 08/07/2013 at 17:44

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I doubt that they will figure out how to use a clutch though.

Blondude > Hoccy 08/07/2013 at 17:47

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Manual transmission: 1

Bears: 0

Eric the RC guy > Hoccy 08/07/2013 at 18:00

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Manual Transmissions: The Only Thing Stopping Bears From Running Your Child's Bus Off the Road

I missed out on a perfectly good headline for this post. :(

Eric the RC guy > Decay buys too many beaters 08/07/2013 at 18:01

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Since you posted this 4 minutes after I posted the article I am going to go ahead and assume that you had that image ready and were just looking for a place to put it. You're welcome.

Decay buys too many beaters > Eric the RC guy 08/07/2013 at 18:08

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Actually, it was a running joke on the show for a while and it was the first that came to mind upon seeing the picture, so no real work required on my part. I think I image searched "Colbert Bears" or something.

Eric the RC guy > Decay buys too many beaters 08/07/2013 at 18:15

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I like my story better to be honest.

I almost miss having cable because of Colbert.

Decay buys too many beaters > Eric the RC guy 08/07/2013 at 18:20

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I'm pretty sure all the episodes are legally available for free online from comedy central.