The Opposite Locker - Edition XXXII

"Tim (Fractal Footwork)" (fractalfootwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:30 • Filed to: The Opposite Locker, Cool Wall, OppositeLock

0

27

This is The Opposite Locker where we try and sort out the cool from the square. You are free to discuss your point of view of the cars, on the board and up to bat, within the comments with an optional use of the " !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ." This is a discussion system detailing how cool a car is, not how fast, fun, or frivolous it may be, but how well it looks in the cat's pajamas.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Try a different web browser if the polls do not show. Asterisked* cars are moved more than slightly from the original vote by use of veto power, and double asterisked** cars are vehicles moved back under a challenge. If you are confused about whats going on, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Locker Space

Frigid

Chrysler 300*

Dodge Challenger

Toyota GT 86

Porsche Cayman

McLaren 

Porsche 918

Maserati GranTurismo

Aston Martin DB9

Aston Martin V12 Vantage

Jaguar F-Type

SRT Viper

Cool

Ford Focus

Chevrolet Corvette (C7)

Mazda MX-5 Miata

Ford Mustang

Porsche 911

Tesla Model S

Maserati Quattroporte

Aston Martin V8 Vantage

Ferrari FF

Audi R8

Ford Fusion

Kia Optima

Mazda 6

Alfa Romeo 4C

Cadillac XTS

Fiat 500

Audi A7

Mercedes-Benz CLS

Uncool

Nissan GT-R

Chevrolet Camaro

Porsche Boxster*

Porsche Cayenne

Ferrari 458 Italia

Lamborghini Gallardo

Ferrari LaFerrari

Nissan 370Z

Chevrolet Volt

Maserati Ghibli

BMW 3 Series

Aston Martin Vanquish*

Hyundai Genesis Coupe

Chevrolet Malibu

Hyundai Sonata

Honda Accord

Subaru Legacy

Lexus LF-A*

Buick Regal *

Volkswagen Golf*

Chevolet Silverado

Dodge Ram

Audi A5*

Jeep Grand Cherokee

Mercedes-Benz GLK

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! - The King has fallen.

Square

Toyota Camry

Toyota Corolla

Porsche Panamera

McLaren MP4-12C*

Nissan Leaf

Toyota Prius

Nissan Altima

Chrysler 200

Dodge Avenger

Volkswagen Passat

Lexus IS

Lincoln MKZ

Ford F-150

BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo

New Kid On The Block

The Ford Fiesta made !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! (referencing the last bit...) when it first hit the market. In America, hatchbacks never really took off and always were driven by people that didn't care in any capacity about their car. The conspiracy that was the most recent fuel crisis hit, and suddenly everyone is buying a smaller car. Size used to matter when determining the caliber of cool, but it seems now, not so much (see Cadillac Escalade).

The Big Question : Will the Fiesta's unusually good looks raise its status past that of the rest of the world's hatchbacks?

Ford Fiesta

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

For Sweden > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:33

3

I vote frigid, as there is a ST in the picture.

Z_Stig > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:37

0

If we're talking Fiesta ST, cool. Otherwise, uncool as it's just another small hatch.

CB > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:40

2

Voting it as uncool. Yeah, it's pretty swell, but it's still an economy hatchback.

William Byrd > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:44

1

Interesting.

Cool. Small cars in the US are usually uncool and dare I say square most of the time. However, we are in an age of economic responsibility where smaller cars are having a resurgence. Add in the Euro-cred the Fiesta has and I think you have at least a cool car. I wouldn't say frigid, even for the ST because you still have to explain it to non-car people.

And unfortunately I think that should be a category we rate all cars in the Oppo Locker on. "Cool" surpasses speed, handling, lap times, and a lot of other Jalop categories and likely should include some sort of rating on how well it rates among the average passer-by. If you have to tell people why it's cool, then it isn't.

RX > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:54

0

Much better as a 3 door than a 5 door. Why cant we have the 3 door?

Z_Stig > William Byrd 08/05/2013 at 12:56

0

While "cool" does encompass more then speed, lap times and handling, if we were to give more credence to the average passer-by and non-car people, I fear our Locker would be filled with Camry's, Accord's, and Impala's.

Bloodtype5w-20 > For Sweden 08/05/2013 at 12:56

2

there is an* ST in the picture.

sorry I had to.

timateo81 > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 12:59

1

can a car be square and desirable? this whole thing is jacked

For Sweden > Bloodtype5w-20 08/05/2013 at 13:06

2

No, you're not sorry, and you didn't have to.

Also, what's the first letter in ST? Is it a vowel or h?

manifold engines > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 13:07

0

Never noticed the 'butterfly door' on the XKSS - very pre-Lambo.

Ralliman > For Sweden 08/05/2013 at 13:17

1

It's less about the letter than the sound, which starts with a vowel ("ess") and should therefore be preceded by "an".

I went with "Frigid" because I'm a fanboy, but it's at least the best-looking of the current sub-compacts.

TheDoubleClutchBandit > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 13:20

1

The Peterson actually has McQueen's XKSS from the title pic, and I can tell you from a first hand account that the car is as frigid as cars can get. I love bragging to my buddies about just having stood next to it.

RyanFrew > Bloodtype5w-20 08/05/2013 at 13:36

0

You definitely didn't have to, because you're not necessarily correct. Just a stylistic thing, since For Sweden was using an acronym. ST stands for Sports Technology, which means the sentence can be read as:

I vote frigid, as there is a Sports Technology in the picure

William Byrd > William Byrd 08/05/2013 at 13:42

1

No, I'm talking about stuff like this . Meaning a car has a certain quality that just makes it "cool". Like how the average Aston Martin is slower than Nissan GT-R, but (as the Locker proves) are cooler. I don't think the average person on the street would consider Camry's and Accord's "cool" even if they would choose that over something we consider cool as a daily driver.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Nick C. > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 13:50

0

I call Square. The fiesta firmly occupies the same "I want to look like I drive something cool" space as the Veloster and the Scion Tc. Function has to count for something in my book.

If we're only talking the Euro-Spec ST, then sure, it's cool; but then by that math the Nissan Juke should be cool, just because they made the Juke-R. A single trim line shouldn't make or break a model - the character should flow up and down the trim range.

bwwooster > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 13:57

0

I wonder whether it's really fair to any new car to evaluate its coolness right under a picture of McQueen hopping into XKSS713, ciggie dangling from the corner of his mouth.

It just has to push everything down one step by comparison.

H4N5 GRU83R > timateo81 08/05/2013 at 14:01

0

I think square means undesirable not literal square as in Volvo wagon (which is desirable). So the original statement would read can a car be undesirable and desirable.

Actually I dont know anymore. My brain just farted.

Cheesewhiz > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 14:09

1

Y'know what's uncool? Voting about what's cool, That's what. Cool isn't a democracy folks, it just "is." Nothing cool has ever required a vote because cool is about independent thought, individualism and the expression of freedom. Did Fonzi require a vote? No, but American Idol did and that is SO uncool. The moment a group of people have to choose and codify cool, the whole thing collapses into a hot fiery mess of Camry-ness.

And I think we all know cool a Camry is, right?

StoneColdSteveUrkel > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 14:58

0

My GOD, I am really as cool as they say aren't I?

dogisbadob > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 15:03

1

Too bad we don't get the 2-door hatch. Ford should sell the 2-door instead of the sedan. Of course the 4-door hatch can stay.

StoneColdSteveUrkel > Cheesewhiz 08/05/2013 at 15:04

0

I think you hit on it. If it is TRULY cool it will just become part of our reality as a 'cool' thing almost without anyone noticing. Because 'cool' just....IS. Not decided upon.

Great post from you.....

Cool song from Sonic Youth....

Bloodtype5w-20 > Ralliman 08/05/2013 at 15:27

1

I'm an English teacher so this argument is foolish for you to try to win my Volvo loving friend.... I make grammatical errors all the time. I hope someone else has the diligence to correct me. They usually do and I usually learn something new.

Patrick Frawley > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 17:36

0

Too earnest and sensible and undemonstrative to be cool.

Still likable, tho.

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > timateo81 08/05/2013 at 18:49

0

Look for my post tomorrow...

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/05/2013 at 18:50

0

And, to answer your question, yes.

WankelFTW > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 08/06/2013 at 00:46

0

I think I must have missed something. How is the Chrysler 300 frigid?

Cheesewhiz > StoneColdSteveUrkel 08/07/2013 at 15:10

1

Right ON. Perfect. As a keeper of a bad ass black cat, that was much appreciated. Cheers!