Seriously, fuck you Chrysler

"oldirtybootz" (oldirtybootz) 12/14/2013 at 14:03 • Filed to: None

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And your retarded battery placement.

McMike > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:10

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Is that better or worse that Sebring wheelwell?

PatBateman > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:11

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Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!

oldirtybootz > McMike 12/14/2013 at 14:14

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Sebring requires more work to get it out, this (Durango) is more awkward to remove.

oldirtybootz > PatBateman 12/14/2013 at 14:19

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In the middle of the showroom, with the customer buying the car watching me...

Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:27

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Wtf? Is that under a seat?

McMike > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:30

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That looks like it's under the seat.

I have batteries under the seat. PITA when you need to charge/jump.

All Motor Is Best Motor > Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ 12/14/2013 at 14:35

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Sure looks like it. The battery in a 2003 Pontiac Bonneville is under the rear bench seat. I always thought it "wtf", seeing as how it needs a system to vent any fumes out and away from the passenger compartment. I guess it's just failure to package the engine bay properly.

oldirtybootz > McMike 12/14/2013 at 14:35

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Yup, under the passenger seat and a major pain in the ass to replace.

oldirtybootz > Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ 12/14/2013 at 14:36

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Yes it is. They forgot to leave room under the hood.

oldirtybootz > All Motor Is Best Motor 12/14/2013 at 14:37

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This actually has a tube to cent the battery. I think my buddy's Deville has the battery under the rear bench as well.

Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:39

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I haven't been under the hood of many new cars so maybe this is a dumb question....but how would you jump start this thing?

All Motor Is Best Motor > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:41

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I imagine this could make jumpstarting with another vehicle a pain if the jumper cables aren't long enough.

oldirtybootz > Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ 12/14/2013 at 14:42

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They have jump posts for it. Which is annoying because you can't properly charge a battery through the jump posts and there's no way it could be safe to charge it under the seat like this.

oldirtybootz > All Motor Is Best Motor 12/14/2013 at 14:45

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Well they still have jump posts under the hood for that. But you can't jump the battery directly so you may still be SOL.

All Motor Is Best Motor > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:46

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Ah, makes sense.

lonestranger > All Motor Is Best Motor 12/14/2013 at 14:47

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Manufacturers have been putting batteries in the passenger compartment or trunk for decades, and not because they couldn't find room in the engine compartment.

Pro: Better weight distribution, enhanced battery life and reliability due to reduced vibration and less severe heat fluctuations, utilization of otherwise unused space.

Cons: Greater distance to starter causes increased voltage drop, in some cases it may* be more difficult to service.

*Some remotely-mounted batteries are dead-simple to access, and some engine bay-mounted ones are very difficult to get to. I'd call this point a draw.

DCCARGEEK > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 14:48

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Yup. Battery is under the seat in my Jeep GC and was in the trunk of my CTS-V. Weight distribution bro.

oldirtybootz > DCCARGEEK 12/14/2013 at 15:05

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I figured the GC was the same but I've never had to do one.

George McNally > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 21:28

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I owned a 2000 Plymouth Grand caravan....bought it new in 99 and drove it for 8 long years. At the time, it suited my young family and my love of mountain biking-you can haul 4 guys, 4 bikes and all their stuff on the inside.

Blew the transaxle 2000 miles out of warranty, the AC condenser stopped working about 6 years in, I was told the entire dashboard had to come out to repair it at a cost of about 2 grand.

By this point, both our kids had learned to drive on it and scraped both sides of it against the garage door frame and I side swiped a pole with it, so it was worth less then 2 grand.

The whole time we had it, it rattled, vibrated and made random weird noises and had really shitty build quality.

Chrysler....not even once .

oldirtybootz > George McNally 12/14/2013 at 22:06

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Lol the Dart will probably be my only modern Chrysler. It has a few rattles already. I've always been a Ford guy. My father's Fusion has been bullet proof mechanically and my Focus took loads of abuse through almost 70k and only needed a hub bearing under warranty. My mom's 02 Explorer is getting tired, but we've had it since 01.

To be fair, I do love the Dart. I'm just not expecting it to be reliable.

troy.overton > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 23:23

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I mean no disrespect, but how it is Chrylser's fault that you knicked your palm replacing a battery? I mean, seriously... how did you pull that off?

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > oldirtybootz 12/14/2013 at 23:47

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Miata has it in the trunk FTW!

Got that 50/50 weight yo!

PyramidHat > George McNally 12/15/2013 at 02:07

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I've told this story before, but it bears repeating:

During The Year of Our Lord, 1977, Chrysler ran an ad for the new Cordoba ("The Small Chrysler") starring Ricardo Montalban and the famous "Fine Corinthian Leather." My mother, smitten, had to have one. So my father - for reasons my brother and I still cannot figure - had to trade in their 1968 Firebird with the 350 and 2BBL carb (the 4BBL sucked up too much gas) and 50,000 miles for a silver monstrosity complete with vinyl roof and opera windows. We went through 3 vinyl roofs, 4 transmissions and 5 ignition modules. The silver paint flaked off and the car generally sucked. To this day, my brother and I will not even consider a Chrysler product.

PyramidHat > McMike 12/15/2013 at 02:08

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What sucks about that is that it's just piss-ass design. I have a Volvo XC70 with the battery in the rear. But Volvo had the foresight to run leads up to the engine compartment...where most folks hook up jumper cables. Sheer genius. Can't say the same for Chrysler, I see...

PyramidHat > oldirtybootz 12/15/2013 at 02:12

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I find that disappointing - I sort of liked the look of the Dart and hoped that it would do better than most Chrysler products. I'm generally turned off by American vehicles, but I will admit that I'd definitely consider a Ford, well before I consider a Chrysler (see Cordoba story in another response) or a GM (Owned a '94 4WD GMC Sierra. Was a rattly piece of shit at 75,000 miles. The Toyota Tacoma that ultimately replaced it is still going strong (albeit in retirement duty, now) at 235,xxx miles...still tighter and better built then that GMC.

oldirtybootz > troy.overton 12/15/2013 at 07:46

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Heavy battery awkwardly located under the seat. I was trying to pull it out, it got caught on something, slipped, and skinned my hand.

I didn't say that was their fault, just that they can fuck themselves with this battery placement.

oldirtybootz > PyramidHat 12/15/2013 at 07:53

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Like I said, I love the car. The interior is very nice, I like the restrained exterior with the very cool LED rear, and the 1.4T + 6MT make the car feel very special compared to most in the segment. That being said, it's part Chrysler, part Alfa, and part Fiat. I think I'd be a fool to expect long term reliability. I was planning on trading it on a 2016 or 17 Mustang anyway.

oldirtybootz > TheD0k_2many toys 2little time 12/15/2013 at 07:53

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I don't mind trunk mounted, they're usually easier to access than under the hood.

Fuel_of_Satan > McMike 12/15/2013 at 08:02

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That is a manual van with an actual hand brake as standard? Presumably also rear wheel drive? I'm intrigued, though I kind of recognize the battery placement from some narrow Toyota-thing not fit for dorifto.

Fuel_of_Satan > PyramidHat 12/15/2013 at 08:03

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You can, but those jump points wont do you much good when you're replacing the battery.

PyramidHat > Fuel_of_Satan 12/15/2013 at 09:29

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Ah! Yes, I see your point, there.

McMike > Fuel_of_Satan 12/15/2013 at 09:30

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Vanagon

Fuel_of_Satan > McMike 12/15/2013 at 17:54

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Ah, I really should've recognized that. At least it looked familiar...

Diehard > PatBateman 12/15/2013 at 17:55

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I'd say, except for that middle finger, YOUR ALL THUMBS!

SeanB. > McMike 12/15/2013 at 19:08

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That Vanagon Interior looks pretty clean. You still have the stock motor?

McMike > SeanB. 12/15/2013 at 19:15

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Stock, yes. Original, no.

It got a factory longblock replacement about 70K ago. It's still all VW.

troy.overton > oldirtybootz 12/17/2013 at 15:53

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Fair enough.

blairl > McMike 12/19/2013 at 01:20

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westfalia ftw

Mr. Sinister > oldirtybootz 12/19/2013 at 09:34

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Oh, it will get worse.

thebigbossyboss > DCCARGEEK 12/19/2013 at 10:56

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This is a way in my Cavalier is superior to a CTSV. Wow, never thought I would get a chance to say that.

WhichOneIsTheClutch > oldirtybootz 12/19/2013 at 16:24

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I just replaced a battery in a friends Stratus and you have to take off the drivers side tire and pull the inner fender out. Four broken clips and 82 curse words later it's out!

oldirtybootz > WhichOneIsTheClutch 12/19/2013 at 16:44

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I think the first battery I ever did was a Sebring, so it was that same retarded setup. I don't know how I managed to do it without breaking any clips or anything.

Stupid Chrysle owner > oldirtybootz 09/11/2015 at 23:23

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Chrysler has become the worst car maker. They will dump you after you buy a vehicle form them. I had a $40k vehicle with serious life threatening issues, that they never repaired. I dumped this piece of shit and purchased a Toyota. Do not throw your money away by purchasing any Chrysler. You will regret it if you need to have a problem repaired. Their service people are idiots, and their customer service reps are full of shit.

oldirtybootz > Stupid Chrysle owner 09/12/2015 at 10:40

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Since you dug this up just to complain, as a Chrysler service person I say go fuck yourself. Enjoy your Toyota.

PatBateman > oldirtybootz 09/12/2015 at 11:25

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From two years ago... REALLY.

oldirtybootz > PatBateman 09/12/2015 at 11:41

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Someone dredged it up to complain about Chrysler and call their service people (me) idiots. I responded thusly, and when I was looking through the comments I didn’t think I had starred your comment, but when I clicked it it took a star away, so I clicked again and now we’re here. Try not to murder me to Huey Lewis.