![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:19 • Filed to: None | ![]() | ![]() |
What's up with the Subaru? We'll get to that, but first a few of my favorites. Since this topic has been done to death I tried to pick cars that don't always make the list. They get more inappropriate as we approach #1.
6: Mazda Protegé
I bet the Japanese thought it sounded like a cool name. I'm even guilty of owning one of these, but the name never sat right with me. I want a car that stands on its own merit. The name suggests just the opposite. It suggests a car that aspires to be more than it is, all the while being propped up by better cars. On that note.
5: Ford Aspire/Kia Avella
This time we can split the blame between Korea and the USA as the car was co-developed by Ford and Kia. Kia had already taken the relatively beige name of Avella for its version. Reportedly, it was a Latin/Spanish portmanteau meant to invoke “she desires” This seems a bit overconfident to me when you look at the thing. Ford named their version somewhat in kind: Aspire. It was sold from 94-97 in the North American market as a replacement for the Festiva. What was it aspiring to be? It aspired to be a car worth owning perhaps.
4. AMC Matador
Once again it seems that the Americans didn't think their cunning plan all the way through. According to a Portuguese-English dictionary Matador can be rough translated as killer. In a Spanish-English dictionary a possible translation is murderer. I suppose if you ordered the coupe with a V8 this could have been kind of cool. As in “what do you drive?” “Oh I drive an AMC Murderer. Yeah it's so fast they called it that.” The name would probably sound downright irresponsible if you had the family sedan version however. It appears it was also sold in Mexico, under this name. Oops.
3: Ford Probe
Score another for America. In this case it's probably a failure to translate from “marketing-speak” to English. I owned two of these, in spite of the name. I have no idea what that says about me. No stretch of the imagination is needed to figure out what makes this name bad. I'm sure Ford's marketers were thinking “Space-Age.” Unfortunately it sounded more like a proctological device.
2: Mazda Laputa
Mazda is back again and this one is pretty bad. Puta means prostitute in Catalan, Portuguese and Spanish. So in several languages it sounds like “the hooker.” I suppose it's good that there isn't much of a Maori market for cars, because puta means anus in their language. Wow.
1: Subaru Impreza WRX STI
Why is this a bad name? Would you buy a Ford Focus VD? How about a Chevy Sonic RS STD? There's been a bit of a shift in terminology since I was in school. Older generations were warned about VD or Venereal Disease. By my time, we were cautioned about catching an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). Recently, the term STI has taken over. The last letter stands for Infection. There probably exists a significant segment of the population that may as well be hearing about a car called the Subaru Gonorrhea. Attention Subaru guys: next time someone asks what you drive, “I have an STI” is probably a poor choice of words.
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:25 |
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Lol on the Ford Aspire, Whenever I would encounter one in my daily travels I would always think, no one aspires to that
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:31 |
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Well there's always the Starion...or did they mean Stallion?....or was somebody just having a laugh? We may never know the truth. I don't know if it came from a combination of Star and Orion...but from what I've seen, many Japanese people seem to have quite the sense of humor when it comes to language pronunciation...
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:36 |
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Another one in Portuguese: Pinto means cock, both the bird and the body part. That's probably why Ford didn't insert their Pinto into the local market
If you know what I mean.
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:37 |
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I guess we shouldn't mention the Pajero...
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:38 |
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Thought about it, but it usually makes these lists.
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:40 |
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I know. I really meant that we shouldn't talk about it.. sorry :)
![]() 12/05/2013 at 17:42 |
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Celebrity.
![]() 12/05/2013 at 18:33 |
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Laputa is probably more familiar as the flying island in Gullivers Travels or Castle in the Sky . Wonder how that translates into a Kei-SUV. Maybe they really like anime.
![]() 12/05/2013 at 19:14 |
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Unfortunate name for the island then.
![]() 12/09/2013 at 22:54 |
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Re-reading this I wish I could star it twice. Nice punsmanship. Is that a word?
![]() 12/09/2013 at 22:56 |
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I usually aspire not to be stuck behind one... doing two over the limit... in the passing lane.
![]() 12/10/2013 at 07:37 |
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Why not?
![]() 12/10/2013 at 07:39 |
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They meant Stallion...
http://www.curbsideclassic.com/curbside-class…
![]() 12/10/2013 at 09:06 |
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I always thought it aspired to be a real car when it grew up but it never had the chance.
![]() 12/10/2013 at 09:15 |
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I guess it Aspired to be a real Ford... the little car that couldn't