DHL, what the 'ell

"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
09/10/2020 at 09:25 • Filed to: rants, angry rants, rangry ants

So, I ordered something from the UK, like you do, and it was sent DHL. When it arrived on these shores, DHL suggested I authorize drop-off/releasing it from signature-required. “No dice”, thought I - given that the illustrious USPS has occasionally put packages on our neighbors’ porch or elsewhere, and FedEx once used auto-complete on the GPS to be in a whole other neighborhood.

What I ordered: a build manual for a tiny toy Land Rover. Sweet.

So, it was to arrive today, but yesterday, I received a note via text message that it was out for delivery. Groovy. I warned the old man to watch for DHL deliveries. Several hours later, I get a text saying that my address “appears to be incorrect” and that I needed to update it.

Wut.

I go into the system, and address appears to be correct. No surprise, because it was CORRECT ENOUGH TO “ATTEMPT DELIVERY” IN MY TOWN, YOU ASSHOLES. I click to confirm. “No information has been changed”. O RLY. Won’t update.

I call in to the phone system. “we are experiencing high call volume” - ok. I stumble around to “delivery notice” and enter my tracking number, and the phone system DISCONNECTS. Well, that was fun. I go back in, the system tells me that there was nobody available to sign for the package, and they’ll try again tomorrow - PLEASE CONFIRM IF THIS IS OKAY OR SELECT A DIFFERENT DATE. I hang up, because no option is offered for talking to a human, and I’m still reeling from the fact the two systems are calling each other liars.

After that, I call back in and try to force my way through to a human operator by just waiting on the line. I get through to ringing - rings off the wall, doesn’t get picked up by a hold system (!), and disconnects. At least three times, over the span of hours. FUN.

So, I wake up this morning to an email from the shipper in the UK. DHL has had the *balls* to email them, saying “do you have another phone number for your boy? His number doesn’t seem to work.”

——

Apparently, failing to respond (?) to use of my number by navigating their byzantine order handling online counts as my number not working. Not, oh, I don’t know, CALLING THE NUMBER. So now the wacky hijinx of the local courier in not finding the address properly (?) not doing due diligence and entering that into a system poorly equipped to handle it (?); those hijinx have caused Official Lies to be sent to harass people in other countries.

So, finally, I called DHL again this morning, and finally got through. Confirmed that yes, my number was correct, yes, my address was correct, and she *may* have been able to get a note out to the courier office in time so they can attempt delivery today - and if issues arise to just CALL ME ON THE DAMN PHONE.

Sweet fuck, what an ordeal.

P.S: DHL contact this morning asked me why I didn’t just use the live chat on the website. Because I guess I was supposed to guess that works better than their phone system, their couriers, and their online “address fix” system.

P.P.S. Faced with “the courier is an incompetent mook”, you’d think “have it delivered to a locker and pick it up” would be an option. However, nearest DHL locker is something like an hour and a half away. No me gusta.

DISCUSSION (16)

pip bip - choose Corrour > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 09:34

What an ordeal

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 09:36

I feel your pain mightily . Since “these unprecedented times” started I’ve had two international shipments. One disappeared for over a month and the other is still “in transit” two months later. The latter was going from the US to the UK. So far it is gone from the US to the UK to Brazil to the US to... well unclear where it is now. Nowhere I suspect. Keeping in mind international shipments were pretty hit or miss before but now they’re a guaranteed headache.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
09/10/2020 at 09:40

I had one from Japan drop off the radar and get sent back to sender Japan-side, but the one from China came through okay after sitting stateside for a short while twiddling its thumbs - as did the one from Lithuania.

...all three of the above were 1:35 tank models. I may have a problem.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 09:44

I had a bunch of parts delivered last week that I requested signature service on. FedEx left them in a pile outside of my apartment on the sidewalk, unsigned... Thanks? I get that I live on the third floor, but they’re really not THAT heavy...

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 09:47

Morning getting better and better. A customer in Ireland has just decided “lol the way we wanted things drawn up until now and tweaked four times was totally wrong, plz change”.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker
09/10/2020 at 09:51

I’m just glad the issues we had at one time with mail theft appear to have dried up (it’s been maybe ten years) as the USPS jokers have several times recently left big boxes at the mailbox a long way from the house in plastic bags. The mailbox is not within sight of the house, so that’s fun.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 13:38

Man that sucks, keeping my fingers and toes crossed you finally get that sweet, sweet Land Rover mini goodness.

Also, I feel like telling someone this is going to somehow jinx it (like Dark Helmet is going to burst through the door and yell “Ha! Fooled you!” ) but I sent a build list for a new Defender to my local dealership. I actually think I’m going to fucking do this and it’s terrifying lol.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
09/10/2020 at 14:58

I am told the package arrived - with one final wrinkle. The package which was *not* authorized for signature-less delivery, was delivered without a signature to the back step, in the rain, without so much as a doorbell or honk . Recovered before damage, thankfully. What a choad the driver must be.

Also,

|Defender build list

Kinja'd!!!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 15:58

I have found that DHL seem to hire the FedEx and UPS rejects...

Tasman Blue P300 S with:

18 inch wheels (fought for stealies but compromised with the wife for 18's instead of 20's)

Fog lights

Off road package

Advanced tow package

Winter package (cuz NE)

White roof (cuz Defender)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
09/10/2020 at 16:11

At least when the FedEx driver delivering the kit house for my niece got hopelessly lost he called me...

I am now trying to construct some kind of “more cushion for the pushin’” innuendo about larger tires/smaller rim size as a means of distracting from my jelly.

SpeedSix > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 16:15

If you’re looking for 1:35 scale models from Japanese manufacturers, this seems to be the site for them.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 16:21

Ultimate goal will be 2inch lift and running 33's cuz,

M y anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns sidewalls, hun.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > SpeedSix
09/10/2020 at 16:37

I am aware of them, haven’t gotten in so deep that amazon and eBay haven’t had what I want yet, though. The particular Tamiya that got hung up in Japan was a Matilda II British tank, and the Lithuania and China orders were Zvezda and Meng models - which is to say Russian-made and Chinese- for- european- market.

I’ve had pretty good luck with Academy (Korean) models twice now - an M3 light tank and years ago a Merkava (at least, I think that one was Academy). Also Italeri, not too shabby. Airfix... kind of acceptable. I haven’t had the pleasure of Hasekawa, Aoshima, or Dragon just yet, although I may find something I want...

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
09/10/2020 at 16:39

Have I mentioned that the project ‘59 Lincoln I got from Jarod Rose specs a 900 to 950 section bias ply on 14" rim? That’s a 30" tire. On a 14".

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/10/2020 at 16:42

Dayhum...

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
09/10/2020 at 16:52

when a wheel rolls in with an itty bitty plate and that whitewall in your face you get SPUN