"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv)
09/07/2020 at 13:34 • Filed to: Lego birds
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"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv)
09/07/2020 at 13:34 • Filed to: Lego birds | 4
| 5 |
So a while ago, a certain Western Tanager approached me requesting funds for a scientific experiment. I couldn’t quite understand all the science words he was saying, but it sounded very interesting and I’m all for supporting avian science, so I gave him the funds. A month later, I checked in on him to see what he had so far, and said “I’ve made significant advances in teeth whitening products for birds! The field is almost entirely unexplored! We’ll be rich!” Confused, I said, “But... birds don’t have teeth.” He then replied, “You misunderstand the nature of my research,” and proceeded to show me what he’d done to his volunteer test subjects... I’ll never forget the horror...
This fellow was coping with the change by exploring all that gnawing had to offer. Dang near chewed my ankle off.
This young beakless couple was experimenting with all the kissing techniques their beaks had denied them. We have a no kink shaming policy, but regardless I felt too awkward to stick around.
This guy was distressed that he couldn’t figure out how to eat fruit anymore...
Tyrone the robin had no idea his beak was gone, and we couldn’t convince him it was. He kept trying to eat by bonking his head on things. It was pitiful.
Blue Jay was overjoyed. Last I checked, I think he was filing his teeth into points... I was too scared to ask why. So the moral of the story is: Never give money to mad bird scientists.
jminer
> Jim Spanfeller
09/07/2020 at 13:49 |
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Entertain as always! Thanks for the labor day laugh!
Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
> Jim Spanfeller
09/07/2020 at 14:17 |
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Ummmm, dude, you may have to give him still more money to figure out how to reverse the process. That’s horrifying! Just. . . WHY? WHY HARBOR FREIGHT?
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Jim Spanfeller
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/07/2020 at 15:07 |
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Never give funds to scientists who use Harbor Freight tools...
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Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
> Jim Spanfeller
09/07/2020 at 15:13 |
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Probably a sign of skimming a little off the top if you ask me. Their tolerances are not up to academic standards.
Brickman
> Jim Spanfeller
09/07/2020 at 15:34 |
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That’s terrifying