My Plastic Bag Passed TÜV

"Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available" (whoistheleader2) 09/04/2020 at 13:00 • Filed to: satire, TÜV

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Who knew that the Germans’ strict road certification process would make plastic bags more expensive in America?

BioBag did. They TÜV certify every single bag individually. It has resulted in increased shipping costs by routing every roll through Germany and has resulted in some angry car owners stuck in long lines of semis full of plastic bags, but disposable container carbon em issions have never been lower!

Now I wonder if TÜV can certify my car to be compostable. I don’t see why not.

CB > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 13:05

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Everything’s compost on a long enough timeline.

dogisbadob > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 13:06

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Yeah, it’s so that the bag doesn’t stick to your tires when you run it over :p

There are three standards classes, from easiest to toughest:

QRS
TUV
WXYZ

lololol

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > CB 09/04/2020 at 13:08

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So what you are saying is that I can bury my car in coffee grounds and dig out fertile soil a few years later? I could host an art installation and call it “Technology at Rest.” 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > dogisbadob 09/04/2020 at 13:10

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Even TÜV itself will compost given enough time. Then plastic bags will be free to rise up and overthrow their pneumatic tired overlords. 

CB > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 13:11

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Exchange “years” with “mill ennia” and maybe!  

user314 > CB 09/04/2020 at 13:15

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Unless it’s a Jeep.

Or on David Tracy’s lawn....

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > CB 09/04/2020 at 13:17

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Darn, I know of a few Versas that could stand to be eaten alive by the tinworm and actual worm at the same time.

Old Car City seems to put the compostable timeline at around 50 years if you are lazy and can only be bothered to park them under pine trees instead of actually burying them. That creates an unusual top-down rust that takes out the roof first. Most of the cars there with thinner sheet metal have roofs that feel like wet noodles if they are intact at all.

Poor Renault 4CV, it was put out with the old banana peels and coffee grounds to be recycled for plant food.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > dogisbadob 09/04/2020 at 13:18

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Eventually it’ll roll over to AA, AB, AC, AD and so forth.

dogisbadob > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 13:22

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The Mazda 3 is certified compostable by TUV

Svend > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 13:29

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Are we allowed to call Austrians, German now? Lol.

They have the same or similar systems, but it does say 'Austria' on the bag. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > dogisbadob 09/04/2020 at 13:31

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Oddly enough, I pretty much only see thru rust on 2000s Silverados and we get a lot of transplant cars around here.

Like this

But not like this

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Svend 09/04/2020 at 13:34

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Shhhhh!

Longtime Lurker > CB 09/04/2020 at 14:28

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A car would be about 100yrs, but 99% of all civilization would be about 1000yrs.

Roadkilled > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 14:43

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TUV is just an abbreviation for Technischer Ueberwachungsverein (forgive any mispellings) which is a technical approval agency. Long ago, there used to be one in each German region, and Austria had it’s own. As the regulatory system in Germany changed, some work went to VDE and other work was privitized. The TUVs started merging in the new world of private industry. There is still a separate Austrian TUV, but there are only three large agencies left in Germany after many merged together.

You can find TUV approvals for many products including electronics. Two TUVs are approved to do certifications in the United States.

https://www.osha.gov/dts/otpca/nrtl/nrtllist.html

If something in Germany or Austria needs some type of approval, there is a TUV that will do it, whether it’s a computer, plastic bag or a car. Automotive inspections are just one of many types of TUV approvals. 

MM54 > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 15:01

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Come visit NE Ohio in a couple months when all the winter beaters start to creep out of the woodwork. Oh the things you’ll see!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Roadkilled 09/04/2020 at 15:30

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I suppose I should have known that but I didn’t. Thank you. I just figured it stood for something different than it did in Germany. I didn’t realize it was just a general name for a certification a gency.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > MM54 09/04/2020 at 15:32

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No thank you. I’ll stay here in sunny Georgia. It’ll be shorts weather for some time to come. 

onlytwowheels > Svend 09/04/2020 at 15:34

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Are we allowed to call Austrians, German now?

Some guy tried that before, back in 1938.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Longtime Lurker 09/04/2020 at 15:35

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The rate of decomposition for those McMansions in the expanding suburbs is about 3 years.

Svend > onlytwowheels 09/04/2020 at 16:56

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Ye', though it was complicated as that person was born in Austria. Very complicated person. 

onlytwowheels > Svend 09/04/2020 at 17:03

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Let’s hope people have not forgotten what can happen when complicated people are given too much power.

Svend > onlytwowheels 09/04/2020 at 17:06

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That ship may of already sailed.

We'll find out in November. 

onlytwowheels > Svend 09/04/2020 at 17:30

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Ships can be sunk.

Power to the people, and all that.

Svend > onlytwowheels 09/04/2020 at 18:43

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But half of the torpedos let it in, in the first place.

There’s no telling how many of those torpedos will or won’t work this time.

Fingers crossed it's nowhere near as many as last time. 

onlytwowheels > Svend 09/04/2020 at 19:13

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The sea is angry.

Angrier than I have ever seen.

The captain has abandoned the passengers.

Roadkilled > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 09/04/2020 at 19:20

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My day job is as a product safety engineer and I’m responsible for the safety certification for my company’s consumer products. I only know because I’ve been working with these agencies for 20 years, and I have friends that work at TUV Rheinland and TUV SUD. It’s not obvious to most people outside of Germany. I’m guessing that many people here only heard about it when Marty and Moog had to get TUV for their modified car in Germany, or when David Tracy posted about his van.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Roadkilled 09/04/2020 at 19:23

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Both of those are me. It’s hilariously obscure in the US of A.