Snack Review: Lärabar

"nermal" (nermal)
09/02/2020 at 13:56 • Filed to: Umlauts Make It Metal, Goddam Hippies, My snack can beat up your snack, Compacted Turds, Opporeviews

Background:

I like to indulge in small individually wrapped rectangular snacks while doing Outdoor Lifestyle (tm) activities. Occasionally I’ll mix it up and get something different, because variety is good. I purchased a box of the Apple Pie variety , and paid around $5 for a 6 pack of them.

What is it:

The Original Fruit & Nut Food Bar.

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Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Non-GMO, Vegan, Kosher.

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Only 6 ingredients! Dates, Almonds, Unsweetened Apples, Walnuts, Raisins , Cinnamon.

Tell me about how the company was founded:

Lara (no umlaut) went hiking in CO and came up with the idea to smash some fruit and nuts together into a small rectangle shape, which was initially called the Larabar (no umlaut). After several iterations, she realized that the marketing was kinda weak and needed some.... zazzz... and thus the Lärabar (with umlaut! ) was created. She then sold out to General Mills a few years later and is now retired, except for appearing in marketing videos to tell the company story .

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Surprisingly good . It’s mainly apples and cinnamon, with a little bit of aftertaste that everything that is naturally sweetened by dates and raisins has. Not too sweet, honestly just right . Y ou can tell there isn’t sugar and high-fructose corn syrup and all other manor of artificial stuff. Despite the natural-ness and goddam hippie enviro-wanking of the product marketing , there’s just as much packaging (box & wrappers) as every other competing bar-food .

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This is where things turn.... not good. There’s really no other way to describe it - it looks like a compacted turd. Below is a representation:

It’s really off putting. It doesn’t smell bad - just apples and cinnamon - it doesn’t taste bad, but it looks awful and gross .

Who should buy them:

Y ou are on a fad diet that restricts all of the good ingredients (like cows) for whatever reason. Or y ou are blind. Or you live in a cave. Or you live somewhere else that is devoid of light . Or you go camping a lot and always forget to bring batteries for the flashlight. Essentially you need to be able to eat it without looking at it, and it’s fine then.

DISCUSSION (22)

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:02

They do run 200-300 calories and a reasonable amount of sugars, so be advised.

But, they are darn tasty.

onlytwowheels > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:09

Why would you remove it from the wrapper? The wrapper is the dispenser sleeve, permitting no contact consumption.

Do you take the bun off a McDonald’s hamburger?

Amoore100 > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:09

Good as a snack between classes, but I always find that they leave me hungry after only an hour or two so they’re not as filling as I expect.

BeaterGT > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:14

I really like them and so many good flavors to choose from. Just had the Cashew bar, only 2 ingredients!

nermal > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/02/2020 at 14:23

But they’re natural sugars from the fruit and raisins and dates, and not added sugars.

nermal > onlytwowheels
09/02/2020 at 14:24

I admit fault here in removing the bar from the wrapper. Will try as you suggested next time.

No, I do not remove the bun from a burger, but rather eat it. I do not eat packaging of snack bars.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:31

yep . As my wife, the physician, says in bitching about the sweet fresh orange juice every morning. “Sugar is sugar...”

I always giggle that the world hates “high fructose corn sugar” (which is fructose) but loves the natural fruit energy bars (wherein the calories come from fructose).

I apologize too. I really like Larabars and really didn’t mean to sound critical. Just wanted to point out that they are sweet and have some natural sugars in them. I’ll shut up . Sorry.

And, my wife is a hypocrite. She loves Sugar Babies and Candy Korn. Go Figger.

VincentMalamute-Kim > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/02/2020 at 14:38

yeah, true all that. But if the fructose is coming from fruits, then you’re also getting the fiber and other good crap.

I just don’t want additional useless sugars including molasses, honey as well as HFCS . I’m not so concerned with total calories, I want more.

VincentMalamute-Kim > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:40

Thanks, I’ll check these out. I have no expectation for appearance or taste in my Outdoor Lifestyle bars.

I just ate one of the original Powerbars from 1998 I found in a drawer - if you know what those taste and look like, anything now is an improvement.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > VincentMalamute-Kim
09/02/2020 at 14:41

I have a couple of pre-diabetics in the family so we watch it a bit. I do find I feel better myself if I keep an eye on all the sugars-- it’s hard. They sneak it into the darndest places.

VincentMalamute-Kim > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/02/2020 at 14:45

Exactly. I’m pre-diabetic. I only eat these things when I’m doing long rides. I cut out all (as much as possible) added sugars. Which I found means no more ketchup, BBQ sauce, a lot of stuff.

Minimized the fruits too, except blue berries. Mostly e ating vegetables helps with minimizing sugars.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:45

Larabars give me PTSD from doing a Whole30 diet.

sony1492 > nermal
09/02/2020 at 14:51

Rookie move not eating the wrapper

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > VincentMalamute-Kim
09/02/2020 at 14:57

Funny story. I used to have a Sales Manager that worked for me in a start-up gig. hadn’t seen him in years... he was reasonably active, but had the Sales Guy On The Road gut going 10 years ago. hadn’t seen him in ages.

He’s in DC. I’m in DC. “Hey let’s meet for Thai off DuPont Circle...”

I walk in and Holy Sschitt he looks great! I know I was weird about it (“hey you used to look like crap, but now you don’t...”)... but he swore that basically “Avoid all sugars, Avoid Fast Food, More Veggies and lean cuts” was all he was doing.

it’s easy to fall into the rut. Dollops of ketchup, extra bowl of sugary cereal. It adds up.

KnowsAboutCars > nermal
09/02/2020 at 15:22

As a speaker of umlaut language: unmeaningful umlauts are kinda lame.

BahamaTodd > nermal
09/02/2020 at 15:38

I like em.

onlytwowheels > nermal
09/02/2020 at 16:15

Let the dispenser dispense, thank you.

VincentMalamute-Kim > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/02/2020 at 17:13

I’m doing exactly what your Manager is! No sugars, fast or processed food. Veggies and fish. Mediterranean with less carbs.

Same result - lost 35 lbs, down to 140 which is too skinny but difficult to keep the weight on now.

Diet used to be horrible including sugary cereal for dinner. Hard to find this humorous, more like “ oh well, this is my life now.”

Jim Spanfeller > nermal
09/02/2020 at 17:16

I don’t understand the foodie belief that all food must look pretty or else it’s bad. The Larabar is a bar of food. You eat it. You don’t stare at it. It’s not a decoration. That’s not what it’s for. If you open the wrapper and spend more than a second looking at it before it’s in your mouth, you’re doing it wrong. It’s just a freakin’ snack.

Jim Spanfeller > nermal
09/02/2020 at 17:17

I know of people who eat the paper wrappers of Starburst candy.

I do not understand those people...

nermal > Jim Spanfeller
09/02/2020 at 17:57

A generic granola bar, Clif bar, Nature’s Valley Crumb Explosion bar - None of them look like a log of poo compressed into a rectangle shape. A Lärabar does.

Jim Spanfeller > nermal
09/02/2020 at 19:15

Good for them. Maybe since I grew up “gluten intolerant”, I’m more used to slightly odd-looking food? I certainly ate many a Larabar back then, and got used to the appearance and think nothing of it. I think some of the other flavors of Larabar have slightly different coloration, which helps. But really, if you’re trying to make something organic out of mostly fruits and nuts without food coloring, it’s most likely going to end up brown. That’s just how it goes, and it’s something you eventually just accept.