I can't decide if these look good or not

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
09/01/2020 at 10:52 • Filed to: None

On one hand, look how long and low and sleek that is. It’s got such a nice shape. But, then you get up close and between the rear bumper and headlights it’s just sort of a blobby mess.

Also if you haven’t watched this, do it. He gets SAVAGE over Monte owners

DISCUSSION (58)

sony1492 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 10:59

Ill decide for you, they look bad

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > sony1492
09/01/2020 at 11:00

This is the correct take.

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:00

These do not look good.

Sir Halffast > sony1492
09/01/2020 at 11:03

NASCAR Cosplay

Stef Schrader > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:04

They look awful, but I still think this is kind of a cool model in that weird “Stef loves oddballs” kind of way. Bless this wonderful human for tracking it, too.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:04

There’s a dealership near me that pretty much only stocks old VWs and Monte Carlo SSes (SSs?)

Kinja'd!!!

The last time I got bored and walked around his lot, there were like 8 Monte Carlos there, pretty sure only one or two weren’t LS4 cars.

Aremmes > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:05

Permafrost take: The Monte Carlo was the ugliest W-body car .

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:06

Terrible. They are terrible.

OPPOsaurus WRX > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:07

My grandfather drove his until he went into the hospital for the last time. He had the last year, it was an SS with the supercharged V8. H is was silver with the stripes, same 20" chrome wheels, but no funky headlights.

Kinja'd!!!

HammerheadFistpunch > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/01/2020 at 11:07

The final year facelifts were the better looking ones. not good looking, but better.

camaroboy68ss > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:09

I’ve always liked the styling of these cars, just hated they were FWD. I liked the nascar special editions. They did a Dale SR, Tony Stewart and a Jeff Gordon as well. The Dale SR looked the best as his cars paint scheme moved over really well onto the real cars.

SiennaMan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:13

I think it feels like it doesn’t look bad because there have been very few things with that manner of length and vehicle height since then that cost less than most houses near me..

Also, the closest things to that length and height and price these days have been styled to look like they are at least slightly homicidal..

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/01/2020 at 11:14

I didn't know they stuffed a V8 under the hood...was it a 4.8l or a 5.3l V8? And, was it still a front drive abomination?

KnowsAboutCars > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:14

I’ve always kinda liked how these pre-facelift ones look. Especially the front end. Can’t decide what to think about that rear bumper though. Minus points for being FWD and autobox only too.

cluelessk > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:16

The later ones look better with the Impala inspired front end.

Plus fwd v8.

ranwhenparked > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:18

Always hated them, the facelift was better, but it still had those stupid swoopy creases down the sides and crappy interior. I do kind of like the style of the 90s Eldorado and Riviera, though.

Jim Spanfeller > Sir Halffast
09/01/2020 at 11:24

NASCOSPLAY

i86hotdogs > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 11:31

I loved these as a kid. Was one of the first vehicles I would configure online for fun. These, and Trans Ams. I think they look good only in the higher or special edition trims

Your boy, BJR > camaroboy68ss
09/01/2020 at 11:42

Kinja'd!!!

The 2000 Jeff Gordon one is sweet tho.

OPPOsaurus WRX > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
09/01/2020 at 11:43

5.3 LS4 v8

camaroboy68ss > Your boy, BJR
09/01/2020 at 11:54

They did a second version as well that had ghost flames on a dark blue car.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:10

Jeremy Clarkson once said “Every Ferrari is striking but rarely are they beautiful” and I really think it applies to this as well. It’s such a different looking car compared to what is normally seen, that it’s refreshing. However, it’s like you said that up close it’s a mess.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker
09/01/2020 at 12:18

Well there’s also a dealership near me that almost exclusively sells malaise Lincolns so it takes all sorts. I don’t mind driving past the crazy 914 geek’s shop though.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:19

Not great that’s for sure. There was one of these SS models that would rip down this 45mph street that I drove my daughter to day care on. Lots of stop lights and the person would rip it at every stop. I actually kind of appreciated the gusto. Then all of a sudden one week the car came from behind but now it had front end damage which was no surprise. Last I saw it, the damage was still there and that person was still rippin it from stop light to stop light.

facw > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker
09/01/2020 at 12:39

While oppohunting, I passed a house with 4 different N ew Bee tles out net to it. I probably should have photographed it.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:40

I try not shit all over the automotive tastes of others, But if you have warm feelings toward these. then your feelings are dirty and wrong.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:42

I know someone got nearly 8k for his showroom fresh example SS. Not a bad price except he DROVE it out of the showroom and almost never after that. So 25k loss? or paid for the honour of babysitting one of these turds.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:49

It ain’t a Dale tribute until there is a huge 3 on the door.

fintail > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:52

The lumpy rear lights always bugged me, the headlights are also irksome but interesting being based on a Chevy bowtie.

Eventually, they will be kept for nostalgic reminders of early 00s GM malaise.

Spoon II > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 12:55

That thing is a few sawzall cuts away from being an El Camino

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:11

This and the stratus coupe of the time are so obviously designed to look like Nascars.m while being boring Fwd things

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/01/2020 at 13:12

I see they fixed the back bumper

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > ranwhenparked
09/01/2020 at 13:14

I’m not defending the fender creases but they do have some pedigree as a callback to the big swoopy fenders on the original models

Kinja'd!!!

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:15

those headlight are supposed to look like chevy bowties. They do not.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Spoon II
09/01/2020 at 13:17

Kinja'd!!!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer
09/01/2020 at 13:18

They look like they got left in the sun too long

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:21

I’m sure they look good to people that are into getting dizzy.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
09/01/2020 at 13:22

Its a 5.3L LS4, and yes, it's still FWD. I can't imagine how bad it is to drive when you get on the power.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:28

And the “french curves” stamped into the slab sides are supposed to invoke the “totally in good taste, cocaine was not involved” styling of the 73 car

Kinja'd!!!

cool enough car in a 70s kind of way, but this was never in good taste.

Spoon II > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:35

It’s beautiful!!!!

ranwhenparked > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:39

Thats what they were for, but badly executed.

The originals were also somewhat controversial back in their day in a love it or hate it thing.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 13:43

They are, and I am not exaggerating here: my MOST HATED CAR IN THE WORLD. I despise them, and the people that drive them . In my teens and early 20s, the only people that drove these, were the local drug dealers and trailer trash , and they were all pie ces of shit (the cars and the people).

0/10.

No redeeming factors.

I’d rather walk.

Normally I’m a live an d let live kinda guy, but these are the one car where I cannot hold it in.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 14:01

Okay yeah I’d drive that

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Your boy, BJR
09/01/2020 at 14:02

I’ve never seen one of those. I like it

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 14:17

works for me. the unadorned version is a blah version

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/01/2020 at 14:34

I always kind of liked them. Some of the details are odd, but overall it’s a nice shape. I have to say, I like them a lot more now because you never see big 2 door (real) coupes anymore.