Thoughts On Biker Bars

"LastFirstMI is my name" (donstone13)
06/20/2020 at 17:21 • Filed to: None

A beloved employee had her last day with me on Friday, and picked a local place with a patio for her send-off.

I parked amongst at least a half dozen bro-dozers and contractor trucks , looking a little out of place. I was also the only dude wearing khakis and a button down shirt, so I’m sure everybody in the place knew which pansy was driving the foreign car....

This made me think about these suburban pseudo-biker bars. They are usually filled with guys that bring their Harley on the weekend ( if their wife lets them), all dressed up in their biker cosplay outfits. The servers are typically young pretty females wearing shorts that are shorter than they need to be (is it obvious I have a teenage daughter now and have a totally different perspective on this?). There’s probably the expected amount of criminal activity going on; it’s just more likely to be tax evasion and embezzlement than running drugs or human trafficking. Instead of wasting time pulling over brown guys with broken tail lights looking for dime bags of weed, maybe the fuzz should be running the plates on all the F-350s in the parking lot to see if they really are a business expense.. .

Imagine a scene with a tactical-vest wearing guy with his gun drawn: “Sir I need you to step out of the vehicle and show me your schedule of itemized deductions”, and then the late-filers get wrestled to the ground, tased, and maybe shot.

DISCUSSION (17)

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > LastFirstMI is my name
06/20/2020 at 17:58

Amen

LastFirstMI is my name > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
06/20/2020 at 18:20

Militarize the IRS! Invade the Caymans and Panama!

atfsgeoff > LastFirstMI is my name
06/20/2020 at 18:50

You think showing up to a biker bar in a japa nese car is bad? Try showing on up a japanese bike.

wafflesnfalafel > LastFirstMI is my name
06/20/2020 at 18:55

B iker/contractor bars can be fun, but you gotta play along. And you sure as heck can’t be diss’n on their pickups! :) Though I think folks might be surprised how many guys order drinks that might not be considered “manly”.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > wafflesnfalafel
06/20/2020 at 19:43

This, for the last part. A brewery is town used to have a Bandidos or two show up with some regularly on weekend afternoons. Every single time they ordered a pitcher of the peach wheat. They didn't drink any of the real beer.

DipodomysDeserti > atfsgeoff
06/20/2020 at 21:19

Kinja'd!!!

The Compromiser > DipodomysDeserti
06/20/2020 at 21:30

Where do I get that?

ranwhenparked > LastFirstMI is my name
06/20/2020 at 21:44

They do, or at least the cops in the small town where I grew up did. Affluent area, one nuisance bar catering to dentists and accountants doing biker cosplay on weekends, with broken bottle fights in the parking lot. I remember one cop getting chewed out because he was caught eating lunch in there, at the time the police were actively working to get it shut down (there were also health code and liquor law violations going on). What eventually got the place closed down for good was sales tax - collecting it from customers, not forwarding it to the state, big no no.

I remember my dad also getting pissed when he found out my boss took me to lunch there once, too. I remember there being a big pile of bagged garbage right next to our table, found out they weren’t paying for trash pickup and the owner would wait till enough piled up in the dining room, and would haul it to the dump himself.

The board of health chairman, who I worked for at the time, referred places like that as fundraisers. Budget a little tight at the end of the month? Go check on a couple places from the fundraiser list, fine 'em and shut them down for a few days of cleaning, they'll reopen, and you can do it again next month.

DipodomysDeserti > The Compromiser
06/20/2020 at 21:44

The Old Bike Barn used to have them, but not sure if they still do.

shop-teacher > atfsgeoff
06/20/2020 at 23:14

Better yet, a Japanese scooter.

The Compromiser > DipodomysDeserti
06/20/2020 at 23:31

Local place had some but they sold out.

Thanks !

LastFirstMI is my name > ranwhenparked
06/20/2020 at 23:59

That’s hilarious. Reminds me of a real biker bar where some buddies and I occasionally went to see washed up rock bands play (Steppenwolf, some others that I don’t remember and who probably also don’t remember playing there). No posers there, we were regularly offered drugs, girls, whatever you wanted.

ranwhenparked > LastFirstMI is my name
06/21/2020 at 00:04

This was smack in the middle of a high rent shopping center in an upper middle class suburb, surrounded by higher end stores and restaurants, and was always packed with people that you would think should know better/have higher standards. During the day, they tried to sell themselves as a gastropub, at night, they’d get rowdier - special events for biker clubs, over serving, not checking IDs, etc, the parking lot would be full of broken glass and trash in the morning, cops were constantly getting called out for one fight or another, often involving their own staff, or staff + customer. Just assholes running the place, basically. One of the co-owners was a lawyer, too, which also complicated things.

LastFirstMI is my name > atfsgeoff
06/21/2020 at 00:04

You’re a brave dude. At least you know none of them would be able to catch you.....

LastFirstMI is my name > ranwhenparked
06/21/2020 at 00:55

Sometimes the suburbs aren’t as clean as you’d think:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.texasmonthly.com/news/jeff-pike-waco/amp/

oldmxer > LastFirstMI is my name
06/21/2020 at 05:16

in addition I’ve found that some of the harley riders don’t do the “ wave” anymore, direct correlation to ape hanger percentage and/or too busy being a bad ass, just guessing

LastFirstMI is my name > oldmxer
06/21/2020 at 12:26

I’ve wondered about what “real” bikers think about getting their image diluted by all the dentists in leathers