GMT 360, ranked

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 06/18/2020 at 11:22 • Filed to: Lists, Hot take

5

56

1) Trailblazer. It’s just such a handsome boi

2) 9-7X. The reason it’s not 1st is because it’s too vain

3) Envoy. Just don’t bring up the XUV lest I boot it from this list entirely

4) Rainier. Bet you forgot about this one, didn’t ya?

5) Bravada. I can’t decide if this looks great or terrible. Maybe in an alternate world where all cars were bottom-breathers...

5) Ascender. Why did this even exist? Who was the target market? Isuzu didn’t have their own dealerships, so it was sold alongside the Trailblazer which looked better and cost the same.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:42

3

What do you have against the XUV? It’s got a cool trick and is no less usable for it. Sure, it’s ugly, but damn, so is literally everything else on this list.

Boxer_4 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:43

4

I find it amusing how GM likes to recycle body shells from dead brands - Oldsmobile Bravada was reused for the Rainer and 9-7X, Saturn Outlook was reused for the Acadia facelift. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 06/18/2020 at 11:45

0

It’s just so goddamn ugly

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:47

2

No less than any others IMO. It’s totally subjective, but IMO these are all monstrosities.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 06/18/2020 at 11:50

2

Well that’s just, like, your opinion man

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:53

2

Honestly the worst part of it is the color difference. Apart from that, it has a very Chevy Avalanche look to it. Not sure if that’s good or bad.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:54

4

I really like the Bravada, but I think it’s just because it’s rare enough to seem “special” 

FSI > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 11:59

3

Funnily enough you used a press photo of a European version Trailblazer. I've seen a hand full of those here with amber turn signals and all. That was actually the coolest thing to 12 year old me. I still secretly want one. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > FSI 06/18/2020 at 12:00

2

It's just such a nice, cohesive design.

jminer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:02

0

My grandfather worked for GM his while life and drove Blazers for 2 decades until they retired them and replaced them with the Trailblazer and he hated it so much but bought one since it was the smallest SUV GM made.

My neighbor also until very recently drove a Bravada - they’re ugly as hell in person

benn454 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 06/18/2020 at 12:02

2

 First gen Avalanches were horrendous. The second gens ditched the cat-eye front end and plastic body cladding and were actually quite handsome. 

adamftw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:04

2

Guy around the block from me has the cleanest green T railblazer. I’d drive one.

Ssfancyfresh > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:12

2

I liked the Buick. Plus, I’m pretty sure that was the only way you could get a V8 in a short wheelbase variant outside of the TBSS and Saab Aero.

The Buick still looks handsome inside and out. I would also give a nod to the Bravada for being weird/cool

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > benn454 06/18/2020 at 12:15

0

Front end is absolutely a travesty. From the side, ignoring the cladding, if you squint, between 9:30 and 9:35 PM on an evening in late spring in the Northern Hemisphere, I don’t think I’d say they look bad, though.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Ssfancyfresh 06/18/2020 at 12:19

2

If the grille was like 25% more rectangular the Buick would be at the top of the list but as it is the oval clashes with the general shape of the body.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:21

1

XUV isn’t terrible and it was functional. I think it takes 4th from the Rani er (what is that name?). Isuzu was popular here so I see the occasional be'braces'd Trailblazer. I still live the way the taillights blend into the rear bumper (when not very faded) on the Trailblazer. It also had a straight six so I don't get the hate it gets. Plastic fantastic interior though.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > FSI 06/18/2020 at 12:23

1

Amber side marker lights almost always make a car look better with the lights on in lowish light. Also, when they are mounted low they can, in some cases, almost make the car look like it has yellow fog lights.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 06/18/2020 at 12:24

1

I was next to one the other day and the utilitarian look works great with black steelies like the one I saw.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 12:24

1

It’s named after Mt Ranier.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > jminer 06/18/2020 at 12:25

0

The look worked well (er) on the the U Body Silhouette though. Not great for an SUV though.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Boxer_4 06/18/2020 at 12:28

2

I'm just glad nobody's gotten up in arms about me leaving the SSR off the list.

Darkbrador > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:28

1

Plot twist : it’s actually Rainier. Second plot twist : it’s n amed after Grace Kelly’s husband, the Prince of Monaco. Third plot twist : he murdered his wife by sabotaging her brakes. The plot thickens ... 

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:30

6

Nothing GM has done in its recent history infuriates me more than the GMT360 platform. They did some things really well. The Atlas (with is it’s problems) was a good program, the idea of the trailblazer was a good idea. I don’t even mind platform sharing. They just did most things SO badly then fumbled the stuff they did well and lost the game and now the trailblazer is...well...garbage.

What’ s even more infuriating is that GM HAS a replacement for the trailblazer waiting in the wings they could bring here RIGHT NOW since its truck sibling is already being built and sold here.

Let me repeat. GM could build an 8 seat, mid- sized off-road capable SUV that trades on a strong name WITH a diesel engine...and they gave us this instead.

It’s a good thing off-road SUV’s aren’t crazy hot right now...

benn454 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 06/18/2020 at 12:30

1

As a Chevy guy, it saddens me how they went from making great looking trucks for decades to completely losing the plot. 

Milky > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:30

10

Am I joke to you?

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Darkbrador 06/18/2020 at 12:30

0

Rainier than what? I suppose that would make a pretty dreary soaking wet drive every time you got in.

jminer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 12:33

0

I will give you that - my neighbor on the other side drove an oldsmobile sedan from the late 90s for years and that’s a look which has aged pretty well.

foghat1981 > Darkbrador 06/18/2020 at 12:33

1

Are we sure it’s not after Rainier Wolfcastle?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Milky 06/18/2020 at 12:36

7

Yes.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > jminer 06/18/2020 at 12:38

0

The look just couldn't cover the larger physical space of an SUV with the same good proportions. I did like that final era of exterior design. The interior of the Silhouette I am thinking of was, well, very brown and very American but also the entire van was very broken all the time.

Milky > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 12:45

3

Fair.

404 - User No Longer Available > Boxer_4 06/18/2020 at 12:47

1

Typical corporate nickling and diming?

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 13:14

1

Wow, totally forgot the Ascender was even a thing. I don’t know if I’ve seen a single one in person.

The back end is where this thing really falls apart design-wise, and looking at those pictures that’s true for all these forms. Trailblazer included. 

Boxer_4 > 404 - User No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 13:17

0

Hey, tooling is expensive!  

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 06/18/2020 at 13:23

2

I think the Envoy did it best but the three-spoke wheels may be clouding my judgement

Shift24 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 13:24

1

ill be honest I didn’t mind the E nvoy in Denali trim

lone_liberal > Ssfancyfresh 06/18/2020 at 13:26

1

They were prime targets for LS engine swappers for a while since they had aluminum engines. Unfortunately they didn’t sell well enough to really fill the junkyards. 

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 13:37

1

I worked at a Saturn Saab Isuzu dealer. We only officially sold Isuzu (half a dozen Rodeos a year and we didn’t sell Saab at all)

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 13:46

0

six spokes, spread out unevenly.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > HammerheadFistpunch 06/18/2020 at 13:49

1

I saw one just the other day. No t bad looking for what it is and seems at least distinctive when in red (like I saw). However, it is as much of a Blazer as I am a cucumber (I am one quarter zucchini ).

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 13:50

1

No, it’s three split spokes. We had a big discussion post on these types of whe els one day and we decided they count as three-spoke.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/18/2020 at 13:50

0

I still see tons of Isuzus and Suzukis from just before they went away. I guess Atlanta had a strong dealer network.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 13:53

0

But they don’t come back together at the end and diverge at the same point as the space between the groupings of spokes . I wasn’t present though, so I haven’t heard the defense. Split three spokes exist but I don’t think these are them.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 14:03

1

Working there we had someone who locally made accesories (winter front, grille inserts etc) come in and ask to see an ascender to take measurements, we’d never even heard of said vehicle. 

punkgoose17 > HammerheadFistpunch 06/18/2020 at 14:27

1

The new Trailblazer is a Tracker replacement. I am upset they did not call it a Tracker.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Milky 06/18/2020 at 14:42

1

And not even a good joke, too. More like a sad, depressing joke where there’s no punchline.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/18/2020 at 14:47

0

But I thought you said you sold Isuzu. I guess they were pretty obscure.

Now imagine trying to source something from a bespoke platform like the Xl7 pictured above.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 14:51

1

We only sold the Rodeo and serviced the odd I-mark that was still on the road. Finance staff drove the rodeos and they all sold as demos. I got the impression that Saab and Isuzu were unwelcome tag alongs. 

stuckMTB > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 14:57

0

Its amazing how bad the build quality is on these. Even the press photos have areas that look terrible. The window beltline trim is wobbly on all of them. Hell the rear door doesnt even align to the fender on the Envoy. And why is the Saab the only version they even tried to align the bumper and front fender? Yikes.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/18/2020 at 15:01

0

I’m guessing that the I Mark wasn’t this generation. I spotted this ultra rare and ultra mundane Diesel 5 speed with red interior a week ago.

Isuzu Rodeo was a great car. My friend that has one loves it. Surprisingly sold much better than the Honda Passport, at least judging by how many I spot on the roads. I see the occasional Suzuki Kizashi and even an Equator or a Mitsubishi Raider every now and again so perhaps those niche Japanese brands sold better than average around here. Saabs are getting much much rarer nowadays, but I still see the occasional later GM era rebadge.  

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 15:04

1

No I’m thinking of early 90's turbo 4 door car.  If you squint a little you can see the GM T-body in there (chevette, kadett, gemeni etc)

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 06/18/2020 at 15:19

0

Yes, the Opel Kadette C sure got around for not being particularly great at anything. 

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/18/2020 at 15:22

1

I had 3 Acadians and a Chevette Scooter.  Terrible, but also completely indestructable. 

SmugAardvark > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 19:41

0

I vote Saab 9-7X as number one, followed by Buick Rainier in 2nd, and then who cares for 3rd through 6th place.

And then the SSR in last , because, well yeah.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > SmugAardvark 06/18/2020 at 19:42

0

the Saab is trying too hard to be pretty. It’s like the dude who spends two hours getting ready for an event.

SmugAardvark > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/18/2020 at 19:43

0

See, I look at the 9-7X, and feel Saab was actually really lazy about the whole thing. Looks like the just used some leftover parts from the front of a 9-5 and hammered them into place on a Trailblazer.

With that said, it’s still better looking than the rest.