A formal apology to all of Oppo...

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
06/13/2020 at 22:00 • Filed to: existential oppo

I was looking for an old photo and figured out how to quickly jump many pages at a time to my older posts. But I had to keep jumping... and jumping... by hundreds... then thousands.

Your eyes do not deceive you: I have made over 4,000 posts here (when you include some of the more sensitive work-related ones I’ve deleted).

So, I’ve been Ruining Oppo™ since late 2014.

But — BUT — I’ve “only” made 127 posts this year, and have done okay at following my !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! :

Forum goals:

1) Increase proportion of posts people actually might slightly want to read.

Corolla Parts Cannon!

2)... and decrease posting overall. [...]

Math!

3) If I must post, keep inconsequential posts for shitpost hours (after 7PM EST) or days with low activity (Holidays and the like). [...]

Success! Also: it’s after 7pm P ST on this one just to show I’m serious about it!

4) Avoid venting about personal life, unless it is incredibly innocuous [...]In the same breath: no more venting about my job.

Largely improved, though it was tough not to share my difficulties involving unpaid unemployment benefits after losing my job.

5) Speaking of which... continue steady decrease of chandelier and house posts. Maybe once a month if I find it really interesting or hideous.

According to my tag search, I have made only three house posts this year

6) Join Secret Senna.

Oooooh, need to do that.

Vehicle goals:

1) Give my wife’s car more love. It is saving us a fortune by being mindlessly reliable and actually cracking 30mpg. [...]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

2) Fix the damn brakes on the longboi.

Yeah, baby!

3) Drive the Sportcross more. Gas isn’t getting cheaper, I’m not getting younger, live a little.

And now my wife’s driving it soooooo... Monkey’s Paw?

4) Build a small budget for a potential untimely repair for the Sportcross.

I don’t know if you’ve all been living under a rock, but 2020 has been a little crazy! As such, all of my financial goals for the year are basically nuked.

5) Just accept and embrace I’m probably not going to buy anything for yet another calendar year, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I’m still in denial.

6) Figure out how to murder 5) with extreme prejudice.

Working on it!

DISCUSSION (37)

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:02

Where do you rank this post in terms of quality on a scale of 1 to 11 and relative to your other post by 1 to 4, 000?

Nom De Plume > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:04

We’ve seen enough prime workdays with multiple hour rule’s that placing limitations on shitposting when the urge strikes might be missing your audience at their most willing point.

ttyymmnn > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:04

ALL tHe TaBz!!1!

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:05

But at least your content is enjoyable!

I haven’t made as many posts as you (disappearing for a while definitely is a reason), but because of you, I found a post from 2014 where I complain about Fiesta ST prices and say that I’d rather have it with stripes than a sunroof, which I guess is to blame for my first car.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
06/13/2020 at 22:05

Kwality is 1.

Rank is below longboi but above the Celica

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:06

This comment is thicc

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:07

Hmm, is that a post count now? They used to use some sort of timestamp...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > ttyymmnn
06/13/2020 at 22:07

When I go to Oppo, I open many tabs of posts I intend to read. I get to them eventually.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:08

Let it be known that I’m firmly in the pro home post group. Gimme dat new construction goodness

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > facw
06/13/2020 at 22:09

Yeppers, 20 posts per page. You can edit the URL for any multiple of 20 (provided you’ve posted at that amount) and you'll skip back in tiiiiime

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:09

did the parts cannon work?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas
06/13/2020 at 22:10

It’s started three times so far, but last time it started a dozen times before it wouldn’t start at all after the fuel pump replacement.

Soooo I'm just gonna assume "no"

Just Jeepin' > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:11

Two things:

I’ll hit 1000 before my 2 year anniversary . I’ve been putting together a look back at those 2 years and 1000 friggin’ posts, but apparently you’re noisier than I am so whew!

It’s PDT. PST is actually an hour behind.

Ok, rants over.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion
06/13/2020 at 22:12

Well due to economic uncertainty and other factors, I've simple not been going to many homes this year. And since I've been to tens of thousands of homes, it's hard to come across something truly novel.

ttyymmnn > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:13

I’m hardly one to talk. I have six browser windows currently open with multiple tabs each, and this is my Dock. These are all windows (with multiple tabs) that I mean to get to one of these days. Most of them are things I’ve discovered during other searches and have been meaning to write about.

Kinja'd!!!

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:15

As far as financial goals are concerned:

I met one of my neighbors the other day (despite the fact that we’ve both lived here for at least 8 years) and apologized profusely for the state of my property, since I’m pretty much stuck until I can afford one rather expensive start. It made me feel better when he explained he’s pretty much in the same boat. Thought it might also make you feel better to know we’re all kind of screwed.

However I have a source of some amazing Tercel rally car photos I can provide if it will cheer you up a bit.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:17

I’d even settle for a “top ten of the 2000's” at this point .

Work has resumed for you in some capacity, right?

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:17

That’s convenient. Discussion posts are still using timestamps.

Roadkilled > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:19

The good news is that gas is getting cheaper. It’s down to $2.35 in parts of the east side. However, there isn’t much you can do about the “not getting younger” part. The laws of supply and demand can lead to lower gas prices, but they don’t help with aging. Enjoy the low gas prices, take your wife in the Sportcross around the Cascades Loop and be young at heart.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:21

I’ll second pro home post group. I can’t complain about the lack of non-gray-scale colors if you don’t post ‘em.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion
06/13/2020 at 22:23

Yes, I am employed.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:32

i can’t get the number of post counts to come up for me, or am i doing something wrong?

Kinja'd!!!

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:36

We love you Space Crab.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > pip bip - choose Corrour
06/13/2020 at 22:39

You need to be in someone’s profile:

https://kinja.com/hhgttg69

Then hit “more stories”

https://kinja.com/hhgttg69?startIndex=20

Then start editing the number with a number that is a multiple of 20:

https://kinja.com/hhgttg69?startIndex=7800

You have over 7780 posts.

Just Jeepin' > pip bip - choose Corrour
06/13/2020 at 22:40

Use this: https://kinja.com/hhgttg69?startIndex=5000

Man, those hour rule posts pile up!

Just Jeepin' > facw
06/13/2020 at 22:40

Here’s the interesting part: apparently there’s a 4-digit limit. I wonder what happens when you hit 10000 posts.

Kinja'd!!!

facw > ttyymmnn
06/13/2020 at 22:44

I usually have zillions of tabs open, but mostly because I’m not great about closing them when I’m done. Currently I have 96 on my desktop and 24 on laptop. Eventually I’ll need to reboot for updates and will shirnk that down for a while.

I’ve had a Ma c for months and I still really don’t get what the dock is trying to do. It seems drastically inferior to the behavior you get with Windows/Linux task bars, though surely some of that is a quarter century of familiarity. Regardless I’m quite sure the dock is not even slightly intuitive.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Just Jeepin'
06/13/2020 at 22:46

You get permabanned

facw > Just Jeepin'
06/13/2020 at 22:47

I’d guess those old posts are just inacc essible, though I’d expect you just get that error instead of some planned behavior.

Regardless, they clearly don’t have much faith in the talents of our shitposters.

ttyymmnn > facw
06/13/2020 at 22:50

The only thing I use the Dock for is to park windows that I’m not currently using. It’s meant to be some sort of launcher (or Launcher, in older Mac terms) I suppose. I find that CMD+Space is a much quicker way to launch an application or search for something. The only thing you’ll see in my Dock is the apps that are currently running, and I use CMD+Tab to switch between them. It remains hidden most of the time, and reduced in size to just about as small as it will go. Over the many years of using a Mac, I have become completely addicted to key commands for most everything I do, and the first thing I do when setting up a new Mac is drag all the BS out of the Dock and get rid of it. I also use a Terminal command to hide the Desktop icons.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/13/2020 at 22:51

6) Figure out how to murder 5) with extreme prejudice.

Reaching way back here, but it sounds like you need to talk to C raig James about his time at SMU.