3.5 Types of Enthusiasts Who Kind Of Suck

"Nick Has an Exocet" (nickallain)
06/07/2020 at 15:40 • Filed to: None

1. Cyclists

I can respect a bike. The engineering, the careful thought, the construction, and the kinetic motion are all masterpieces. The problem with bikes is that a small vocal group of tiny talking penises ride them. Oh, is your car too loud to loud with it’s stock exhaust, expect to hear from a cyclist about it.

2. Jeep People

O ff- roading is fun. No doubt. But this is a group responsible for Go Topless Jeep Weekend, which this year generated not only !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , but also a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

3. BMW SUV People

This is the kind of indifference that gave us the new nose of the BMW M4. They let the ultimate driving machine become the ultimate brand machine. They don’t drive cars, they drive symbols. Bow to your bucktooth overlord, folks.

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Admittedly, these aren’t really enthusiasts. Granted, if you go so far as donning a custom mask for the occasion, I think we could make the argument. There was a great story from my neighborhood in the Nextdoor app about a person who pulled up next to one of my neighbors and made the “roll down your window” motion then proceeded to shout at my neighbor for not wearing a mask in her car. WAT.

DISCUSSION (51)

Cash Rewards > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:02

I would wear a mask in my car solely from the standpoint of if I took it off I’d forget it. This is so not normal that there’s no way I’d remember to out it back on, so I’d probably keep in on for a short drive to a grocery store just to remember.

But to yell at someone else in their own car? What the hell?

Spanfeller is a twat > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:07

1. Coal rollers

2. People that think cannonballing is OK.

3. Garage queen collectors

3.5 those who think public transportation is bad for all enth us iasts because it inconveniences them personally as motorists

Nick Has an Exocet > Cash Rewards
06/07/2020 at 16:08

Yeah, I can understand that. That said, the rearview mirror is good place to disinfect with some UV!

Nick Has an Exocet > Spanfeller is a twat
06/07/2020 at 16:09

Do people still do that?

dogisbadob > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:09

Not all BMW people? Just the SUV people? :p

Wear a mask in the car if you have passengers/there’s more than one person in the car.

No mask when driving solo

fintail > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:09

We may not agree on everything, but I can get on board with these.

I am fine with cyclists, but the dorks who ride 5 abreast around here are a disease, and then blow through stop lights and red lights with reckless abandon . When I am jogging and have close calls, I love to chirp at them. The lack of traffic lately has emboldened the spandex dork crew, and once traffic picks up a bit more, I fear casualties. Of course, drivers will be blamed.

Lifted Jeeps kept cleaner than my fintail, with a barrage of cheap Chinese LEDs and clip on plastic angry eyes, nothing more need be said.

Ever see an X series car using signals? Neither have I.

Around here, I see masks and gloves while “driving”. OK yeah bring the residue from everything you’ve handled into your car, and rub it in your porous steering wheel surface, good job. I don’t mind wearing a mask in a busy store, but the minute I am out, it is off.

Nextdoor is like facebook on steroids for busybody meddling entitled suburbanite trash.

Just Jeepin' > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:10

Ahem.

Spanfeller is a twat > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:13

It was never a fad here (maybe Esteve up north has another answer) but I swear if I ever see a coal roller I would laugh in front of their insecure ass in traffic for hours.

Nick Has an Exocet > Just Jeepin'
06/07/2020 at 16:13

Sorry dude! Haha. Guilty by association?

Jim Spanfeller > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:13

I think Jeep enthusiasm is such a widespread thing that lumping them all under one banner doesn’t really work. There’s a broad spectrum of Jeep lovers, from great people to full-on douches.

What I would like to ad to the list, though, are wannabe thug “car guys”. I’ve had way to much experience with these people. They’re not really car guys, they just want to try and act tough and cool, and their way of doing this is by crapping on whatever car isn’t theirs. Doesn’t matter if it’s a car beloved by enthusiasts the world over, they’ll mock it anyway, ignorance on full display. And if you counter by pointing out the flaws in their vehicle, they’ll just make lame excuses and make up reasons why their vehicle is superior to yours all other vehicles.

Nick Has an Exocet > dogisbadob
06/07/2020 at 16:14

I think if you trace back the lineage of how BMW gave up, it goes back to the X3.

dogisbadob > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:16

I thought the BMW asshat stereotype predated even their first SUV crossover

Nick Has an Exocet > Jim Spanfeller
06/07/2020 at 16:17

“ Hey man, my Accord is so fast. They really should consider it a sports car.”

Yeah, those people are annoying. Haha. “Mustangs suck because they’re RWD and everyone knows that FWD is better for control .”

Yeah, I’ve definitely known a spectrum of Jeep owners. Fairly similar to Mustang people. They get a call out because I think they’ve slipped down in recent years and Mustangs have come back towards reality a little.

Nick Has an Exocet > dogisbadob
06/07/2020 at 16:19

The BMW asshat definitely predated, but they drove cars that had pretty legendary handling. It was when those people starting being X3's for themselves and their wives and their kids that BMW realized that handling was last on the list.

HammerheadFistpunch > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:23

Depends on where you live I guess. In utah the cyclists and cars mostly get along fine. Partly because wide roads and partly because the cyclists here all still drive cars and know better than to complain about what they do most of the time.

CompactLuxuryFan > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:26

I don’t get your reason for disliking BMW SUV drivers in particular . Granted, I am one. However, BMW’s SUVs are very much the BMWs of SUVs. They have always driven somewhat nicely relative to their peers in the same way as the sedans , looked just like the sedans, and had pretty much all the same associated stereotypes and questionable reliability. Sounds like you just don’t like BMW. Did you want the brand to just go die a sad death like Alfa Romeo (ok I may be getting a little ahead of things here) ? Even Porsche mostly sells SUVs now.

PowderHound > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:28

I don’t get Jeeps. Someone I know was selling theirs and claimed “diamond in the rough” and all I saw was a Jeep just like any other Jeep

Jim Spanfeller > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:29

There were a bunch of wannabe thug “car guys” in my high school autobody class... I remember one time I went into the shop, and one kid had brought in his Mini Cooper S to do some work. It was not long before a particularly annoying wannabe thug kid came over and made himself a nuisance, saying stupid things along the lines of “Ha, your car is gay and you by association! You drive a sissy car! My truck could totally beat it in a race!” I pointed out that if any corners were involved in said race, the Mini would win. Wannabe thug kid responded with, “nuh-uh, my truck has 400 brake horsepower!” We explained that horsepower means nothing in turns, and the Mini might even be faster in a straight line anyway thanks to its lower weight and manual transmission, but he simply responded with, “Nuh-uh, my truck has 400 brake horsepower! And I have an automatic transmission, so I don’t have to worry about shifting like you do!”

At this point, we all basically agreed that this was stupid and just tried to ignore him. To this day, I think he’s the only “car guy” I’ve ever met who bragged about having an automatic transmission.

Also, why are gay people apparently the only people allowed to drive fun cars without risk of judgement? What’s up with that?

50ford500 > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:35

I’d add bro-dozers to the list just because most of them are obnoxious and seem to think just because their mechanical penis enhancement device is taller it gets preference on the road. Oh and some WRX owners as well

Tripper > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:39

Hello, here to agree.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:45

This is the boldest call-out post of one single person I've ever seen.

Nick Has an Exocet > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/07/2020 at 16:53

Kinja'd!!!

Nick Has an Exocet > HammerheadFistpunch
06/07/2020 at 16:54

Utah sounds good.

sony1492 > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 16:57

1.) People willing to do 30mph under the speed limit on roads with blind corners should know what t hey are signing themselves up for.

Nick Has an Exocet > CompactLuxuryFan
06/07/2020 at 16:59

I’ve done some BMW driving events. I feel for the poor marketing people and racing instructors who have to try and sell people on how driving an X2 on autocross course is better than an M2 or respond to questions about why the company who used to have the ultimate driving machine no longer offers a stick on most vehicles.

I think my dislike is the same dislike for the people who take surveys and focus groups for airlines. They always stack rank “price” as the number factor. Then the airline comes back and removes a feature that used to cost them $0.30, lowers the ticket price by $0.10 and pockets the $0. 20 difference and offers the feature back for $20 .

Nick Has an Exocet > PowderHound
06/07/2020 at 17:00

You narrowly escaped 45 minutes of pointing out every single bolt they changed on the advice of some online jeep forum.

Nick Has an Exocet > Jim Spanfeller
06/07/2020 at 17:01

Haha, Miata owner here.

Kinja'd!!!

Michael > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 17:03

I wear my mask in my car if I'm between stops so I don't have to touch it too much... After the last stop, off it goes

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 17:07

Kinja'd!!!

To item 1. It’s a cycling thing you wouldn’t get it.

Jim Spanfeller > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 17:16

Hairdresser car ftw!

Tripper > fintail
06/07/2020 at 17:23

“Lifted Jeeps kept cleaner than my fintail, with a barrage of cheap Chinese LEDs and clip on plastic angry eyes, nothing more need be said.”

Don’t they just come from the dealer like that now? “Salt Life” rear wheel cover too.

jeepoftheseus > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 17:32

Cyclists: I’ll agree with for the most part. They certainly have a mob-mentality when riding in a group on country backroads around here. “Let’s ride the whole lane and never move over for normal traffic on a 55mph road and see if we can keep everyone behind us for the next six miles.”

Jeep People: Absolutely do suck. I may come across as a hipster on this but as soon as four doors became an option the bro-dozer crowd moved in and took over. I was raised with CJs and the understanding that a vehicle so compromised was a second vehicle. The Venn diagram of Jeep people and people who display their family as guns instead of stick figures came near one circle and ruined it for everyone.

BMW SUV People: similar issue as with Jeep people. Once you give the mainstream SUV option you end up with the mainstream car thugs that someone else mentioned in this.

Mask is Cars: cracks me up unless it’s a borrowed car then good on them. Either way I won’t talk trash if they are willing to actually wear a mask.

Nick Has an Exocet > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/07/2020 at 17:38

Hahaha. I guess that’s what it is. I do own a bike, though after a couple months I got sick of it.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 17:51

People wearing masks inside their car genuinely irritate me. Save your energy for the outside world.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 18:02

I was initially annoyed by the in-car mask wearing people but they I realized they aren't hurting anything so... Whatever. The in-car glove wearing people need a lesson on how.... All of this works.

CompactLuxuryFan > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 18:17

I don’t think an X2 being better at autocross than an M2 is anywhere in BMW’s marketing line. That said, is the X2 particularly bad for autocross within its class (aka the hottest selling market segment) ? Probably the opposite.

And as far as offering manual transmissions, let’s not forget that BMW is still right at the top, especially if you consider Mini as part of their portfolio. What’s more, their main competitors MB and Audi (and I guess Tesla?) don’t have a single manual offering.

I do agree BMW has done some unnecessary selling of its soul. They could have spent a little on their enthusiast side and gotten it back in PR and goodwill. Had they invested into making a firm hydraulic rack available on the F30 , they would have easily kept the legend going despite a more conservatively tuned chassis, for example .

B ut your focus on BMW and their SUVs specifically makes no sense.

XJDano > PowderHound
06/07/2020 at 18:30

Most Jeep people think the $20’s and $50’s they spend increase the value. Sure I’ve spend a fuck-ton on my Jeep, but it may only be worth $5,000 tops altogether. I’d be better off parting it out or starting over with the lift/axles I have. But it was a 2 year old car to me when I bought it so there is some sentimental value there. I’ll ditch it when I roll it.

Nick Has an Exocet > CompactLuxuryFan
06/07/2020 at 18:30

I mean, any time someone lets you treat their car badly on a course, it’s fun. Would I have rather been in a 2 series? YES.

I dunno. I blame the X3 for google searches of “bmw manual” bringing up owner’s manuals and not cars with manuals ;)

Kinja'd!!!

XJDano > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 18:32

I’ll admit I’m a bit of an exception to the rule here because “I know what I have” and it’s a piece of shit. LOL.

I just need to get back into the “club” and show up all these $ 40-50k wrangles fun can be had for less.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > Michael
06/07/2020 at 18:33

The correct way of doing so.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/07/2020 at 19:21

It’s definitely the strangest callout I’ve ever experienced. Definitely not the boldest. I don’t even know what I’m being called out for! I drive a Toyota now, and am ready to light that goddamn BMW on fire!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > DipodomysDeserti
06/07/2020 at 19:23

I mean, it appears he even used YOUR photos, unless I'm mistaken.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/07/2020 at 19:54

Yeah, those are all my photos. Some are from deleted stories, so he either went back and found where I commented with them, or went back and found them in archives. The one of the X1 is from five or six years ago. Bizarre stuff. Guy must have a lot of time on his hands. All because I said I ignore almost everything he writes after he started spewing antisemitic George Soros bs. Guess he showed me!

I’m a bit alarmed that we might have some unstable individuals here. Apparently he dismissed me from the thread, so my posts in here have to be approved. Truly strange behavior.

Cash Rewards > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
06/07/2020 at 19:56

Oh god, it is, isn’t it.

facw > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 21:14

Ooh, I’m in 1.5 of those groups!

I can’t say I’ve ever complained to anyone that their car is too loud, though I do think we should make cars quieter. Certainly it’s nice to hear the exhaust note from somethings like a Maserati once in a while, but I’ve lived in cities, and near busy roads, and noise pollution is definitely a thing, and a thing that should be reduced. Also to be honest I think the burble of the muscle car V8s sounds like crap, it just sounds like the car is working poorly to me.

I do wear my mask in my car most of the time. This is in keeping with recommendations regarding mask use. Touching the mask to remove it potentially contaminates your hands, so you shouldn’t take it off unless you can wash your hands. So unless you have hand sanitizer in your car (or drive an RV I guess), you shouldn’t be taking it off until you get home and can wash. Granted the most recent research seems to indicate that the virus doesn’t spread efficiently via surface contact, so this may be less of a concern than with other diseases.

Nick Has an Exocet > facw
06/07/2020 at 23:00

As the owner of a V8 with a bit of burble, booooo!

Tire noise seems like more of an issue these days. I live near a highways and a busy road. It’s mostly tire and wind noise.

facw > Nick Has an Exocet
06/07/2020 at 23:19

Probably true for highways, but every little bit helps.

Nick Has an Exocet > facw
06/07/2020 at 23:26

Yeah.

I’m probably in the minority, but I love the sound of loud cars driving by. There are a lot of enthusiasts in the bay area.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail
06/08/2020 at 01:00

To be fair to the picture Nick stole of my Jeep (and my BMW, and my face...) that was the one time it’s been clean.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti
06/08/2020 at 01:31

Wow, sounds like someone has it in for you.

I didn’t expect your Jeep to be of the bedazzled city slicker/coddled suburban manchild variety :)

Derpwagon > Nick Has an Exocet
06/08/2020 at 14:01

I really like Utah. If I ever move for work, I’d choose Utah over pretty much anywhere else.