I think my roof inspector is writing a novel....

"Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo" (akioohtori)
06/02/2020 at 13:39 • Filed to: None

Dude has been here for over an hour and a half. Total time on the roof was about 15 mins. Not sure what he is doing in there but I’ve got shit to do and I know as soon as I start he’ll come knocking on the door....

Roof is doomed, which isn’t shocking as figuratively everyone else on the block is in the process of getting re-roofed. Based on the yearly repairs I’ve been paying for t he roof wasn’t done well initially so I suspect I will be on the hook for some “improvements.” Hopefully insurance will cover the bulk of it.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Also contractors really need to stop asking about people’s wife and kids. Like... dude. Once was OK but the follow up questions make me think I need to start answering the door wearing a pride flag like a cape.

Doggo for your time.

DISCUSSION (15)

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 13:48

When I walk thru a owners house, I do try and make a point of commenting on his attractive/hot wife or teenage daughter. I find it really breaks the ice, and leads to a good conversation about the home and recent improvements. /s

ranwhenparked > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus
06/02/2020 at 13:56

A lot of guys take it as a compliment if you pretend to mistake their teenage daughter for their trophy second wife, so make sure you always do that, too.

Spaceball-Two > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 14:02

I had an appraisal recently and had to answer a few questions regarding my wife and kids mainly due to COVID. Or is he just being creepy?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus
06/02/2020 at 14:16

Also make sure that if you do talk to said attractive wife, you avoid making eye contact and instead avert your gaze approximately 10 inches down. Oh, and make sure to subtly give her your cell phone number, for safety reasons. Now, the man will obviously take your efforts to be safe as a threat so make sure to do this quietly, and preferably when he is almost out of earshot or line of sight .

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Spaceball-Two
06/02/2020 at 14:26

As an appraiser, we’re just being creepy. We lead a largely lonely, cloistered existence. Long days either driving to and from appointments, are in our office trying to complete reports for demanding clients. Thank God there’s booze.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
06/02/2020 at 14:31

I usually only talk to the attractive women/teenage girls, since women in general know nothing regarding the homes that they live in. I always have to have the man of the house around so he can answer questions about recent updates, repairs, etc.. Why, just yesterday, I would have had to wait around 30 - 45 minutes after my inspection was done, as the husband was running late. Good thing I had already viewed the home back in 2018 for a prior appraisal. Nothing much had changed, so I was good to go. The wife wasn’t very hot, so she wasn’t worth my time.

PS, I don’t really do this. In case state regulators are monitoring this channel.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two
06/02/2020 at 14:38

I’ve had this company out several time. I think they’re required to do it to seem “personable” or relatable or some shit. Or at least it seems like something a marketing wank would have come up with. In 2020 it seems a bit tone deaf at best.

Svend > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 14:41

Largely in the U.K. we ask how they are doing (that banter will last two to five minutes), then they comment on the kids, TV, decor of the property, that’s another 10-15 minutes, in that time we’ll offer them a cup of tea or coffee.

They’ll ask to see what they want to see, if they haven’t taken us up on the offer of a cup of tea or coffee, we’ll ask if they are sure, if they have, we’ll offer them another.

After they’ve done all that, they’ll sit down with us and have another cuppa with biscuits and/or cake if there is any. They ask to use the bathroom and leave ten minutes afterwards.

CalzoneGolem > Svend
06/02/2020 at 14:47

I would think that a roof inspection is a 4 cuppa job at the very least.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 14:48

“Call me Ishmael” - roof inspector

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 14:54

You should definitely answer the door wrapped in a pride flag. Maybe he’s trying to figure out if you’re available?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 14:57

Before we were married my wife was my “Domestic partner”. I just loved the uncomfortable conversions with HR because they never looked at her name to verify sex.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
06/02/2020 at 14:58

Ain’t nobody have time for that.jpeg

dogisbadob > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/02/2020 at 15:28

Do you hear a violin playing? :p

CalzoneGolem > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/03/2020 at 07:35

Bonus points if she has a gender neutral name.