Have I ever gone on my rant about how much auto forums suck?

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 05/25/2020 at 11:58 • Filed to: None

2

31

You can make a post like “Hi, I’m having X issue but I’ve definitely, indubitably ruled out Y as the cause because [reason that anyone with a modicum of common sense would be able to deduce]. What else could be the culprit?” and the responses you get are as follows:

Reply one: Your problem is Y [you know, the one you said in your post definitely isn’t the problem]

Reply two: Well, [snake oil product] fixed [issue with an entirely different subsystem of the car from yours ] for me so you should give it a try

Reply three: I agree with One, your problem is Y [Again, it’s written in your post that Y was ruled out for pretty obvious reasons]

Reply four: Two, I love your car you did a great job on the restoration I’m so jealous my dad had the same car when I was naught but a wee child the year was 1953 and Ike had just been elected...

jeepoftheseus > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:13

18

Don’t forget “do people even try to use the search function here?”...

Search function does not work. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:13

5

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

jimz > jeepoftheseus 05/25/2020 at 12:15

20

because when you do search, you find that anyone who asked about the same issue ended the thread with “n/m, figured it out” never to return and say what they did.

Chariotoflove > jeepoftheseus 05/25/2020 at 12:21

7

This works best on forums with a zillion posts, and search turns up half of them with even one syllable of your search term in it. Because I have the next thirteen years of my life open to read through every thread.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > jimz 05/25/2020 at 12:22

2

nail on the goddamn head

Nom De Plume > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:31

2

I tend to get IP permabanned for username choices that are innocuous yet cheekily related to the one-off question I’ve chosen to confront their set of internet experts with. Sometimes profile pic is where the joke lies.

Then I try using search.

Captain of the Enterprise > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:38

14

You forgot the “ someone’s already posted this what the fuck is wrong with you” with no link or explanation of how to find the solution they referenced. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Captain of the Enterprise 05/25/2020 at 12:38

4

And then you go digging and the post was like ten years ago

Captain of the Enterprise > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/25/2020 at 12:39

1

As if anyone with the knowledge and desire to try finding the solution hasn’t tried turning it on and off 

Captain of the Enterprise > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:43

0

Yeah

Sovande > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:49

2

I have had good luck with every car forum with the exception of a Mercedes forum where every question is answered by telling you there is a search function and that the question is not being answered again and a Chevy truck forum where in order to answer a simple question everyone needs to know the full history of the vehicle, the engine, the timing, how much quench you have on your pistons. Chevy guys are weird. If you ask how to do something, they will say “it’s easy, you just swap out the part and install a new one.” If asked about a specific problem or step in the installation they will say “yeah, you have to watch out for that.” It’s like the knowledge can’t be discussed until you have personally tried and failed. There is no advance knowledge passed on.

Volvo forums have always been pretty good. Folks seem to like to help and there are a b unch of people who know what they are doing. If you asked how to make a repair, people wil l link you to a thread containing the repair, complete with pics and step-by-step instructions.  

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 12:58

7

And the part or problem name was misspelled in the title so the search function skipped it over. Yes, I do in fact now see that the EVA P system question was solved by TokyoKid17 back in 2011 in  the thread “EVIP sys SOLVED!!!1!1!!!” so sorry that when I searched for EVAP system, your shitty ass vBulletin powered forum didn’t see it.

VincentMalamute-Kim > Nom De Plume 05/25/2020 at 12:59

1

We haven’t perma banned you yet for your Oppo username? Profile pics are too small for me to see anything so you’re lucky there.

interstate366, now In The Industry > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 13:15

1

I hate that social media has largely obsoleced auto forums, but...I get why.

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 13:17

8

With broken Photobucket images

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 13:18

1

Surprisingly the vette forums have been quite helpful for me....

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 13:18

1

I tried to get some info off of a ford escape hybrid forum and the whole thing was about how much everyone on the forum hated each other, and who should be respecting who’s mileage. 

Nom De Plume > VincentMalamute-Kim 05/25/2020 at 13:37

1

Nothing off any possible offense could be described from either here.  Opening an account under the name JustTheTip comes to mind as one that didn’t go over well.  Forget what tip related issue I was having.  Probably sourcing the right one or a suitable replacement that was close enough.

smobgirl > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 13:46

1

I was pleasantly surprised by the Siennachat folks. There are definitely some people who are making up answers but I haven’t seen a single “DID YOU TRY THE SEARCH FUNCTION?!?” response. A few super knowledgeable and helpful guys trying to keep us nincompoops on the road.

I’ve also heard rumors that the Prius forum is the nicest place on the internet. Haven’t visited yet though.

Victorinoo > Captain of the Enterprise 05/25/2020 at 14:04

2

Worst part is that you dig-up the 10 year old post and find out that the original poster never actually resolved the issue.

Jayvincent > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 14:37

1

I have to admit, I’ve gone total lurker on auto chat boards. I’ll search for problems, but no way am I posting a request for help. You just get spam and vitrol if you do . In repayment, if I do find a solution on my own, I’m not posting it there either (though i might post it here for fun, but I know no one comes here looking for car repair solutions, only comedy and tragedy). Oppo-on and good luck with your wrenching dilemma EssExTee for two

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 17:46

1

YMMV.

I’ve had pretty good luck with encountering decent folk on forums. But I have noticed a drop in forum attendance. P eople seem to gravitate towards Facebook instead nowadays, and I don’t get why.

Jim Spanfeller > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/25/2020 at 20:11

1

I asked a question on a Th underbird forum once, and two guys responded by filling up the discussion section with their arguments over whether or not I need to disconnect the battery when draining fluids or whatever. It went on for pages. They might still be there to this day...

Edgyhal94 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/26/2020 at 04:56

1

By far the worst one I’ve even tried to use was any Land Rover one. My god do I hate Land Rover fans, they are insufferable even to their own kind. The amount of times I’ve heard a Freelander called a Gaylander repeatedly with zero useful information... so many times. Weirdly hierarchical shit for worshipping the Series and Defender whilst shitting on everything else with the green oval because “ it isn’t a proper Land Rover”. Fuck me do I hate those forums.

Funny thing was, I couldn’t be asked to even post my question about pre facelift Freelander 1 cupholders and where could I get one, but decided to just deal with a continued lack of cupholders, my biggest and only gripe  with the car.

VincentMalamute-Kim > smobgirl 05/27/2020 at 22:31

0

You have a Sienna??!

smobgirl > VincentMalamute-Kim 05/27/2020 at 23:06

0

I got a 2003 that was converted to a camper van! I love it.

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/i-bought-a-thing-1843023665

VincentMalamute-Kim > smobgirl 05/27/2020 at 23:25

0

oh yeah, I think you posted about traveling somewhere like TX for some or other and living in the van? That’s a neat conversion.

I got my mom’s hand-me-down 2011 Sienna and surprised someone on here has one too. If only I’d remembered your posts.

You mention “handles like a turtle in corners” or something in your old post . yeah, I don’t disagree. On m y previous Caravans, simply plus sizing with wider wheels made a huge improvement in handling. I’m getting old - I’ll probably leave the Sienna stock.

smobgirl > VincentMalamute-Kim 05/27/2020 at 23:44

0

It definitely takes a lot more planning to corner the thing. Driving in general takes a lot more consideration of momentum, actually.

Thankfully mine had the shocks and struts replaced before I bought it so it could definitely be worse but I’ll keep your tire advice in mind.

(Also the random thing about it that makes me super happy is...COLUMN SHIFTER. For some reason I just feel like bulky slow vehicles deserve them and it makes me giggle every time I put the van in Drive)

VincentMalamute-Kim > smobgirl 05/27/2020 at 23:53

0

hm... my 2011 has a dash mounted shifter. My Transit does too.

Never even thought about giggling - t hey’re automatics after all. And I have no sense of humor.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Victorinoo 05/28/2020 at 11:58

0

Relevant

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/28/2020 at 12:00

1

They suck so hard, and yet are so incredibly useful.