Actual HR question.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 05/15/2020 at 16:07 • Filed to: None

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I was told I will be contacted by HR as I and one other were witnesses to an incident.

Here’s how I would identify the incident: an incredibly petty 30 second argument where the one party upped it to HR immediately on their cell phone because, again, petty.

Given the pettiness of this, my relationship with these two people (amicable), my distrust of our HR, and my trying to fly under the radar, I would like to decline to cooperate. Unfortunately it happens in my cubicle about 3' away from me so I can’t quite claim I didn’t hear/notice anything...

Should I expect retaliation (IRONIC) for not cooperating with HR? I really want nothing more to do with any of this...

Sovande > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:11

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I would say "I don't recall, it was all over so quickly it didn't really register as anything more than noise." I would not want to be involved on that nonsense either. 

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:13

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You really can’t decline. You don’t want to make problems for yourself with the administration because of someone else’s argument. You can give as little information as possible in as neutral a way as possible. The claim that you were concentrating on your work and tend to tune others out is a legitimate excuse.

The Ghost of Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:14

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“I was just so focused on my work I didn’t notice”

Future ND Owner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:15

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I think refusing to talk to HR is a bad move. I would give them a “just the facts” account of what happened without any adjectives or value judgments .

Person A said 123. Person B responded 456. Person A called HR. 

Tareim - V8 powered > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:16

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I’d echo the others in suggesting that you didn’t hear/weren’t paying any attention as you were focused on your work

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Sovande 05/15/2020 at 16:17

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I think this would work.

thatsmr > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:18

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Just make a statement, dont judge either side, and you can say at the end you didnt find it particularly problematic. Someone elses statement might not fare too well for one or both of   these parties, but at least you have done your thing and can feel like you said the honest thing from where you stand just like you did here

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:18

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Sudden attack of explosive amnesia

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:20

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My initial thought would be; HR would see through the pettiness of the situation but if your HR is terrible, apparently that’s not the case.

If you don’t think pleading ignorance to what happened would  work, go with the most basic form of honesty and hope it doesn't go further.

user314 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:22

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My X-type is too a real Jaguar > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:23

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farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:26

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i generally go with i didnt see or hear nothing...i was busy working

but half the time im welding and im known for generally ignoring all the shit around me

tbh...its gotten to the point where they hang notices about meetings on the board for everyone else and send someone over in person to tell me...coz...what board?

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:27

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I’ll echo the “I don’t recall, I wasn’t paying attention, I was engrossed in my work” etc bit. You don’t want to get involved.

I had a similar experience years ago when there were hard feelings between an older worker and a couple yappy youngsters - eventually became a lawsuit, the shitstorm went on for a couple years, and because I sat near one of the parties involved, I had multiple HR requests.  Not fun.

ttyymmnn > thatsmr 05/15/2020 at 16:32

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say at the end you didnt find it particularly problematic

I wouldn’t even do that. Just the facts, no analysis.

The Snowman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:33

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Honesty is the best policy. 

SmugAardvark > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:35

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Without knowing the details of your work and the layout of your office, here’s what I would probably do in your situation.

If I was working on something else at the time, I would simply tell HR that I was too involved in what I was doing to focus on the argument. I might say I heard some bickering, but couldn’t afford to lose my train of thought and focus on it or get involved.

ranwhenparked > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:35

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Just practice saying “I don’t recall” or “I wasn’t told”, depending on the question. Those two have gotten me through a few uncomfortable interviews. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > SmugAardvark 05/15/2020 at 16:37

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Problem is I was working with one of the people involved, party 2 interrupted and the incident began.

Nom De Plume > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 05/15/2020 at 16:37

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If you wanted me to work in the office you’d create space for my equipment.

Nom De Plume > The Snowman 05/15/2020 at 16:39

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... when they have decided to value your contribution and personal devotion by providing for their employees in times of need as they provide for their ends at all times.

thatsmr > ttyymmnn 05/15/2020 at 16:41

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True, just thought “there seemed to be a little disagreement” or such would help minimize the situation if not trying to tip the balance either way

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:43

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Sovande > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 16:57

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Honestly, I wouldn't tell them am that just as soon as you are back on the payroll and in the office you will be happy to discuss it. You are still laid off, right? 

Sovande > The Snowman 05/15/2020 at 16:58

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That's not true at all. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Sovande 05/15/2020 at 17:00

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No I was rehired last week. 

Sovande > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 17:03

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Oh. Then I guess I would tell them both people were equally at fault and that this situation is proof positive that you need to move your workstation as the vibe  in the office is making you feel uncomfortable.  Your nerves are frayed and you require an office with a door. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 05/15/2020 at 17:06

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I'm not going to call them "terrible," but I am strongly implying that my previous dealings with them make me farrrrrrrrr more interested in covering my own ass.

arl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 17:29

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First, always go into HR meetings with a smile. You’d be surprised how disarming this is for people. Go in with a good attitude and gently say you didn’t really hear anything other than maybe your coworkers were having a debate or discussion over something. You didn’t hear the details since you were working on your work.

They may ask you some tough questions. If one of your coworkers violated a company policy, HR will want to get to the bottom of it. I would consider answering truthfully, with the least amount of self- incriminating information as possible. It’s also possible the “petty” thing that happened violated a sexual harassment or other company policy and it’s   fair for the company to research. It’s HR’s job to look into these things if they get reported. If something bad happened to you and you reported it, you would want HR to help out.

Good luck! 

Mane > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 17:30

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Since you were just hired back you really cant decline, so , ac knowledge the issue occurred, state that you have no real understanding of the issue as you were head down in your work and as it was over quickly   simply did your best to be uninvolved.

getFuckedHerb > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 17:46

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Sadly it’s a fact, HR is not there to protect you, it’s there to protect the company and that is it. Clearly you’re aware. I’d use a “Hey happy to chat about it but I wasn’t paying much attention just trying to X Y Z done.” and then note that it’s been “X” days and while you may remember some parts of it you are not comfortable reciting an account of the situation as it was not what you were focused on when they inevitably try to get you to ramble on about the situation. They can’t give you too much shit for not wanting to lie.

HR people are hired to make sure the company follows the law and doesn’t get sued while doing the best thing possible for the company while taking no prisoners employee wise. They know your salary, they know every time someone has sneezed in your direction, they know what benefits you have (and how you have used them) , they know how much vacation you’ve taken and why, they know when your boss is happy and unhappy with you. Most are not above power abuse.

Luckily the company I work for now isn’t like that at all, they’re great!

The Snowman > Sovande 05/15/2020 at 17:50

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I expect an El Camino owner to be of the utmost integrity. My first car was a 70 elco  btw, absolutely love elcos.

Exage03040 @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 18:00

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I hate dealing with HR but if you’re somewhat forced to, just play it straight.

Last time I had to deal with something like this was a complaint against a teacher. They got to interviews 2 years after submission. I legit told them that I didn’t remember exactly what was said. W hen they asked what I thought of the transgressions ,   I told them I didn’t give a flying fairy because because both my previous job and the current apprenticeship had worse language.

I think this actually stunned her though, I had to repeat that it 3 or 4 times that, no, I’ve been conditioned to what a vast majority of what society deems ‘ verbal assault’ these days.

My views is that many people forgot the elementary shield of “Sticks and s tones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” when they were younger as the zero tolerance on bullying continues . Now they opt to “be offended” for increasingly petty things because i t stacks the deck as there’s little to no recourse against this   adult petulance.

I think if you out this thin skinned petulance to HR it likely won’t be the same as saying a party was a bully and carry that punishment.

ClassicDatsunDebate > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 18:03

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Would you like me to come with you as your “representative”?

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 18:03

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Sounds like you really can’t say you didn’t see/hear anything since you literally were interrupted in your conversation with one person by the second. So I would go with this:

“You know, they had a discussion that seemed a little overboard, but as it didn’t involve me I wasn’t really paying attention to the specifics of what was said . I saw or heard nothing that would have caused me to intervene - it was over as soon as it started, person 2 left, and we got back to work.”

Typically company policy manuals (if your company has one) require cooperation with company investigations, no matter how silly. I would not recommend just blowing HR off. 

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 18:32

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Nuetral factual. If withheld or contradicted you’ll the dragged in further. As you were near one party I can’t see the “I wasn’t paying g attention” as valid,  drawing more scrutiny on you.

Discerning > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 05/15/2020 at 18:36

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If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 18:43

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As far as I know, there are only protections for whistleblowing, not for NOT whistleblowing

DocV2a > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 19:11

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I wouldn’t ignore HR’s request, that could come back to bite you if, as you say, they can’t be trusted. I’d send them a response vie email, so you have an official record, and simply tell them you do not wish to be drawn into the situation and respectfully decline to comment. If they persist, again via email, [keep an ongoing record] tell them that the request, as well as the entire situation, is placing undue stress upon you, effecting your ability to focus on your job, and you wish to put the entire incident behind you and get on with your work, so again, you respectfully decline to comment.

But beyond any of that, while as a Jalop a like Oppo, I’d personally find a forum were lawyers or law students answer questions on line, not us grease monkeys. Now if you want to know how to do a brake job...

wafflesnfalafel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 19:11

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looking like you are not cooperating with HR is a bad thing...  

coqui70 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 19:17

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Remember it’s called Human Resources now instead of Personnel Office because it’s no longer about treating people as valued employees. It’s about not getting sued.

Your best bet is to be as generic as possible and avoid placing blame anywhere. As far as you know both employees in the conversation showed “ passion” for their “point of view” but at no time were any “threats” made.

You were a “casual witness” but at no time were you “deeply engaged” in the event. It was over very quickly and you immediately returned to “important work tasks”.

foghat1981 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 20:36

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Any chance when the interruption started, you just started checking emails/playing with phone? plausibly say “i just tuned out” even though you’re present. 

As others have said, play it as neutral as possible.  There’s a fair chance HR already has their mind made up and/or a bias towards (or for) one of the other two people.  The last thing you’d want is to lay blame on the party they’re favoring.  then you’re part of the problem

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/15/2020 at 21:37

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I believe if you saw something unethical or hostile the company would expect you to be honest and speak truthfully about the incident. If you didn’t I think you could be sufficeintly vague in your response. You could then say I did not hear anything insulting or threatening, not see any unethical behavior, just bickering, so I chose not to participate and not to listen to any specifics with the bickering.

If someone did say something really stupid or did somehow make a threat or hostile insult, and you heard it, I think you have to fess up that you heard it. If your coworker said something stupid that is their fault for saying it and their fault for saying it in front of you and dragging you into their problem.