Which Volvo is Best Volvo?

"Aremmes" (aremmes) 05/12/2020 at 18:00 • Filed to: volvo xc90

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My Volvo is best Volvo because third-row seats.

But Snuze Volvo has a third row too. Jump seats, even.

Sshhh. My Volvo is best because ride height.

Snuze Volvo is hella flush, tho. And as any fule kno, hella flush == hella cool.

Quiet now. My Volvo is best because leather seats.

Snuze Volvo has them. It seems you have never had a ride in a Swedish brick.

Bah. My Volvo is best because the paint has color.

It might as well be black. Also, I hope you like swirl marks.

Pffttt. My Volvo is best because inline-6.

Mounted sideways. Good luck getting to the alternator.

Enough! My Volvo is best because towing hitch.

You don’t have a trailer. Though maybe you should get one to carry your arse around town.

Shaddap! My Volvo is best because no stickers to blemish it.

Your loss. No majestic moose rampant for you. Not yours.

Wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Under_Score > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:07

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I looked at a beautiful RAM today in a similar dark blue, and it did look black from afar. Otherwise, it was absolutely perfect.

https://www.carlblackhiram.com/inventory/used-2017-ram-1500-laramie-4wd-crew-cab-pickup-1c6rr7nt7hs600062/

dogisbadob > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:07

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Neither are a match for the V40 :p

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:08

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Put engine from the right into the left

For Sweden > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:09

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They’re all good Volvos 

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:10

6

Pffft.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:11

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Gotta admit, I despise driving my mom’s fwd turbo I5 XC90. It’s a great car in every respect except when you’re behind the wheel. Oh and that delicious little I5 just can’t quite pull 5000 lbs without straining itself a little too hard. And the interior is quite worn out and creaky. To the Volvo’s credit, it has survived an almost unbelievable amount of low speed impacts and looks mostly fine except where it doesn’t. Gotta go with the Snuzemobile here.

Aremmes > Under_Score 05/12/2020 at 18:13

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That's a nice blue, though it'd look nicer in a metallic finish.

Aremmes > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 05/12/2020 at 18:20

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This XC90 is intended for the passengers' benefit, not the driver's, so driving dynamics didn't register in the requirements. I have the Miata for that.

Aremmes > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 05/12/2020 at 18:21

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Yes, an Amazon or P1800 ends the game and takes home the prize.

InFierority Complex > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:28

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Do either of them have a 75mm cannon?

Technically these were only built by Volvo under lice nse, not designed, so I ’m not sure they count.

Aremmes > InFierority Complex 05/12/2020 at 18:38

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Neither of them has a cannon, but the cherry bomb on the Snuzemobile sounds lkke one, so maybe it counts?

DipodomysDeserti > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:46

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They both appear to be equipped with an inside and an outside. Very round rubber humps as well. Does the wagon have a safety bladder in it’s turning crank?

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 18:50

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I get it, but I can best describe the driving dynamics of the I5 fwd (half the problem) as tortured. It’s like it was designed to be boring to drive if it was a 3500 lb car but no it’s 5000+ lbs and fwd! The power delivery is as smooth as porcupine and it is way less reliable than it would be if it had a proper amount of torque. It makes my Cruze feel like a LeMans car and my dad’s pickup like a Miata. You can’t see out of it either. That said I’m perfectly content to ride in it for hours, but it’s still way worse than a minivan or wagon. I dislike that car strongly.

Oh, and the repair bills. THE REPAIR BILLS OMG OMG THE REPAIR BILLS!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > For Sweden 05/12/2020 at 18:52

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Except the right half :|

Aremmes > DipodomysDeserti 05/12/2020 at 18:53

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If both are sent out on a road trip, both would end up with unsafe bladders behind the steering wheels after a few hours.

Sovande > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 05/12/2020 at 19:04

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I’ve only driven one xc90 of that generation and it was underpowered for the bulk of that car. However, that engine is a gem in a smaller platform. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Sovande 05/12/2020 at 19:10

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Oh yes! In literally any other application that would be fantastic. Decently reliable too if you don't bolt it to a 5000 lb sofa. Makes a great and unique noise too. Even just rwd might have salvaged the driving experience but noooooooo.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 19:19

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I think I should mention that I see the appeal of the XC90 but just can’t get over the fwd and engine combo (oh, to experience that I5 in a lighter car). If you find it useful (pretty good at hauling people + crap) and like it, then so be it. I don’t want to rain on your parade. It actually was an admirable first effort at an SUV and is built  stronger than any tank I’ve seen, but again, fwd and very heavy. Scores far higher than its age would lead you to believe on the passenger refinement, but still, I dislike driving it.

Amoore100 > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 05/12/2020 at 19:26

1

I hear the 3.2 six is also pretty slow, so I really can’t imagine what it’s like with any of the fives. The T6 I’d say would be the baseline of acceptability, with the V8 the impractical but fun choice (same figures as the T6  but more noise and fuel).

Amoore100 > dogisbadob 05/12/2020 at 19:27

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mitsubishi 

dogisbadob > Amoore100 05/12/2020 at 19:29

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yeah it has plenty of carisma :p

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Amoore100 05/12/2020 at 19:59

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I5 turbo is just not cut out for the XC90 and suffers in the reliability front simply from the strain.

Gamecat235 > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 05/12/2020 at 21:06

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In order (personal preference):

1. VÖX Amazon Wagon (holy shit)

2. Any of the 1800’s. For real. Any year / model / body style.

3. V70R

4. 850 Wagon

5. The new V90... godd amn.

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 21:11

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Hot take: FWD Volvos are not good Volvos to drive 

Aremmes > MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) 05/12/2020 at 21:22

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Probably. This one is AWD, though I guess with a Haldex-ish system. I might write about it in the future.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Gamecat235 05/12/2020 at 21:22

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Hey look! It’s a herring-derived Swedish 2JZ!

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Gamecat235 05/12/2020 at 21:23

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And, full confession, I’m dying to do a project car around the B8444S

Gamecat235 > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 05/12/2020 at 21:24

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Dude. Right?

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Gamecat235 05/12/2020 at 21:36

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So, Curt’s Motor Swap Theory is that ANY automotive engine that the maker had the good sense to bring a MOTORCYCLE company in to consult on? Is an engine worth dealing with some quirks. Those ports-and-heads are always tuned and you ALWAYS get a wonderful induction shriek-growl as it spins up. Examples using Yamaha tech?

Well, yeah, that Volvo V8 is pure Yamaha.
The Toyota 2ZZ-GE is a marvel, hidden in the skin of a boring Vibe/Matrix*
Ford original SHO... so NOT Detroit.  Yamaha V6
Toyota 1LR-GUE ... a Yamaha V10

Balooooo stealth > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 21:52

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It is exactly a haldex system. Only AWD when you need it. Very reliable AWD. 

Balooooo stealth > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 05/12/2020 at 21:54

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The factory trans is the weak point behind the B8444S. It’s perfect for a LITTLE above stock power but not much else. Damn near bulletproof stock though.

Second issue is that you'll have to fight the SUPER WIDE deck of the B8444S. It takes a LOT of space in my XC90's engine bay. 

Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 22:19

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You can probably tell where I stand.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Balooooo stealth 05/12/2020 at 22:43

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Yeah, I call that the VR6 Effect... motors that ostensibly had decisions made to “keep them compact” end up huge in unusual dimensions. That across the top intake runner deal in the VR5/6 motors is offensively huge.

facw > Amoore100 05/12/2020 at 22:50

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Swedish engine and Swedish seats, what more could you want?

Aremmes > Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition 05/12/2020 at 22:52

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Eeeexcellent.

kanadanmajava1 > MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) 05/12/2020 at 23:00

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There are exceptions.

Goggles Pizzano > Aremmes 05/12/2020 at 23:20

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Yes.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 03:41

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old Volvo is best Volvo

Snuze: Needs another Swede > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 05/13/2020 at 07:46

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One of those may eventually wind up in the engine bay of the Snuze wagon...

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 07:49

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I’m going with the Volvo on the right. It’s probably going to be far less problematic. Maybe.

Aremmes > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/13/2020 at 11:20

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I dunno... the Volvo on the left has proved trouble-free so far , while the Volvo on the right gave me a case of the fevers a few hours after its arrival that sent me to bed in the late afternoon.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 11:34

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The Volvo on the left barely made it across town to your house.

What happened with the XC90?

Aremmes > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/13/2020 at 11:51

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Given that it has an engine mount as stiff as a gymnast and probably had its last engine tuneup during the Reagan era, I’d say it did what was expected of it.

As for the XC90, nothing. I just bought it yesterday, then went inside to continue working and a few hours later started to feel like crap. So I went to bed to take a nap and woke up with chills. I ended up wearing a t-shirt, a sweater, and a hoodie, and still felt the need for a blanket.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 11:56

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engine mount as stiff as a gymnast and probably had its last engine tuneup during the Reagan era

That’s hilarious!

Well, congratulations on the new car, but sorry you weren’t feeling well. Are you feeling better to d ay?

Aremmes > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/13/2020 at 12:30

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Yeah, back to normal today after powering through it through the night . Wife was worried last night saying that I resembled a space heater.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 12:39

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That’s good, I’m glad.

You know, I had a similar thing a week or two ago. I came home from work feeling kind of blah, so I ate dinner and went to bed early. Next day woke up feeling okay, went to work, but by mid day I was feeling like crap. I got home, took my temp and was running a fever and was like “Oh shit, I got the ‘rona!” I went to bed, woke up the next day, and felt fine, and have been fine every since. I e-mailed my doctor and he seemed rather  unconcerned.

cmill189 - sans Volvo > Amoore100 05/13/2020 at 12:43

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The V8 makes waaaay more power than either T6 variant. The driving experience between a T5, early T6, later non-turbo 6, and V8 are completely different. 

Aremmes > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/13/2020 at 12:59

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That indeed sounds similar. Good to know it didn't go beyond just a fever. I’m waiting to see if it recurs today, but so far so good.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Aremmes 05/13/2020 at 13:03

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I hope it doesn’t come back.  

Amoore100 > cmill189 - sans Volvo 05/13/2020 at 14:06

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Oops, I thought it got the later SI6 T6 from the XC70 but it looks like it never did ( i.e. the turbo version of the 3.2) ; that one is a pretty punchy powerplant. I n Polestar tune it gets 325hp and 354lb-ft which soundly beats the V8's 311hp and 325lb-ft, though its standard 300hp and 325lb-ft are pretty on the money as well, it’s no wonder Volvo only used the V8 for a few years. The T6 definitely doesn’t sound as good, though, even with a nicely audible blow-off valve.

cmill189 - sans Volvo > Amoore100 05/13/2020 at 14:51

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Yeah, they made some weird choices with the 90. The 3.2 is too anemic just like the turbo 5 for such a heavy vehicle. I have a 04 T6 so it has the twin turbo 2.9 with the GM transmission with TWO transfer cases. It weighs almost 5000 pounds on the dot with fuel. Add six more passengers and a supposed 5000 pound tow capacity and you've got problems.