Welcome to the Newest Member of Team Immobil Racing

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
05/07/2020 at 14:42 • Filed to: None

My 2004 Tahoe is the best bad vehicle I’ve ever owned. It’s been mostly reliable except when it massively wasn’t, and is really an automotive cockroach: given the opportunity, it would be performing poorly for longer than most other vehicles would perform at all. I’ve had it 2.5 years, which is a long time for me, but it’s reign is over.

The other day on my way home from somewhere I spotted this handsome gentleman sitting in somebody’s driveway. I didn’t stop and look, but I did file it away for the next time I was driving past, which happened to be yesterday.

It’s a ‘99 GMC Suburban 1500 SLT, and it is almost suspiciously clean for a RI vehicle. It also has what I’ve said is my second favorite kind of rear SUV doors: barn doors. And even more importantly than that, check out the interior:

I have a definite weakness for red interiors. Especially red interiors this large and leathery. That wear spot on the driver’s seat is the only flaw on the seats, and replacement seat cushion covers are available. It looks like a younger vehicle than 1999, and for its 22 years of service it only has 111k miles on it. Oh, and I’m buying it from the original owner, which is always cool in a vehicle this old.

In the ‘mixed feelings’ department, this is not the original L31 350. It was replaced two years ago with a low mileage (40k) example. I guess 20 years is a good run for a motor, but only 100k out of a 350 is interesting. That said, the owner is the kind of guy who would replace a motor in a 20 year old Suburban and that’s the guy you want to buy from.

So, what of the Tahoe then? It’s rusty, it has 205k miles, but it runs good. Honestly, I’ve been looking for a 5.3 LS to put in the Olds Cutlass drag car I’m buying, so why not go with the one I know? I’m going to pull the motor and trans and have Pick N Pull come take the rest. It’s not the sort of vehicle I feel like dicking around and trying to get $700 for, so I’ll pull the engine and get like $200-250 for it.

Anyway, I pick that up Wednesday. I don’t have any update on my J2000 road racer because USPS appears to have lost my carb balance levers on their way from the Netherlands, so I’m stalled until replacement parts get here...which is a shame because this motor wants go to home.

DISCUSSION (16)

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 14:47

“ it would be performing poorly for longer than most other vehicles would perform at all”

A hallmark of GM from the 90s and 00s.

Also, rad Suburban, looks like you got a good one. My family had a 94 (I think?) during my early driving days. I loved it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI
05/07/2020 at 14:51

It’s true. I think the actual saying is something like ‘ they run like shit longer than most cars run at all’ but that’s not true about GM. If they could build the rest of the car the way they build the engine they would be the greatest vehicle manufacturer in the world.

I’m really pleased with it. I love the square body GMT400s, and this one even has great paint, which for a 90s GM vehicle is rare. I found one spot of rust on the body, which for a RI vehicle is shocking.

dogisbadob > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 14:51

SECOND favorite? WTF? Barn doors are fucking awesome!!!!

Red interiors are awesome

To keep it clean, get it rustproofed annually :o)

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > dogisbadob
05/07/2020 at 14:54

Split tailgate like my FZJ80 Land Cruiser had is my all time favorite. But it’s almost a 1a 1b situation, I LOVE barn doors. The worst kind is a side opening tailgate like my VehiCROSS had.

I may actually fix the one spot of rust I found on the body. No sense letting it spread.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 15:09

GM knows how to make an engine, For knows how to make a chassis, and FCA knows how to make a body...combine all three and you’d have a well rounded manufacturer.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 15:09

Awesome! Congrats on the purchase!

We had a 1998 GMC 2500 crew-cab pickup when I was a kid . GM didn’t factory build crew cabs until a year or two later - for that year they hired a company who started with an extended cab long bed chassis and modified the roof and used Suburban doors, and then made it a short bed.

My dad also has a 97 Tahoe with barn doors on the back. Love that style.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Snuze: Needs another Swede
05/07/2020 at 15:50

I had a 00 Yukon Denali that I hated, but it was THAT Yukon Denali I hated, not GMT400s in general. It drove great, previous owners just turned the rest of it into trash. So I’m glad to have a really nice GMT400 now.

Nom De Plume > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 15:54

Impossible to avoid damage on the drivers seat rightly didn’t factor in. Congrats and hope the engine transfer pays dividends as well.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Nom De Plume
05/07/2020 at 16:33

Covers for the seat cushion are readily available, $150-160 in real leather, less in vinyl. Thing ran awesome, it felt 10 years newer than my Tahoe despite being 5 years older, haha.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 18:06

Forget overdrive exists by locking it out and add a set of helper springs to the back to correct the factory s occer mom spring rate and the gmt400 suvs make a fine tow vehicle for up to about 6000lbs.

jeepoftheseus > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 20:27

That’s a good one. Grab a cigar and pretend to be Tony Soprano at least once. That’s a Suburban ownership requirement as far as I’m concerned. For your 5.3 LS though I think you’re making the right call. Mine has a hair over 300,000 and is strong as an ox.

shop-teacher > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/07/2020 at 22:27

Nice purchase!

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jeepoftheseus
05/08/2020 at 07:58

Agreed. This 5.3 is awesome, I just wish the truck around it aged as nicely. I mean I’m going to rebuild it anyway, but I know there’s no glaring issues with it going in.

Tristan > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/08/2020 at 07:59

I still like these things, even though I harbor a lot of resentment for my ‘99 Suburban.

As far as barn doors: I sought them out for my ‘01 2500 Burb, but in hindsight I should have taken into consideration the fact that it rains incessantly for 11.75 months out of the year where I live- the hatch would have given some much-appreciated shelter from the rain while loading/unloading.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Tristan
05/08/2020 at 15:03

If I had my way I would have a split tailgate, but since my kids are bigger now it’s less of a big deal...I like those split ones as mobile diaper change tables. My Land Cruiser was the best for that.

I should hate GMT400s because my Yukon Denali was trash, but it was just that one that was trash, through no fault of its own...previous owners just garbagified the thing top to bottom. Barn doors on it were sweet though.

Tristan > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
05/08/2020 at 23:55

I failed to realize a half ton Suburban is little more than a big station wagon, and it really shouldn’t be used for much towing. I used it to tow my travel trailer and loaded car trailer a few times. That was enough to murder the 10-bolt and the 4L60, and towards the end I made a work trip to Vegas and back with it, spending more than $1,500 in parts and hours of wrenching in the Westin parking garage on it while I was there. I was just done with it after that. I bought it with 130ish,000 miles and sold it 6 months later after I bought my 2500 Suburban. I've had the 2500 for almost 3 years and I can't imagine ever selling it.