I saw a guy peeing in my street tonight...

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 04/22/2020 at 23:11 • Filed to: None

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My house sits at a T intersection, facing a short street that comes off a larger street . This evening, I was looking out my kitchen window and saw a white minivan pull over on the side of the short street . A man got out and started peeing in the street. I walked outside, put my arms out, and said, “Really??” He slowly got back in his van, backed out to the main road, and drove away.

About two hours later, I heard a very soft knock on my front door. A man was standing on the porch, and he backed away from the door when I answered it. He was covering his mouth, and it was all he could do to keep from sobbing uncontrollably. He just kept repeating, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” It took me a second to realize that it was the guy who had been peeing in the street. He had come back to apologize.

He said that he was a delivery driver, and that he had been driving all day, and that it was an emergency, and he just had to stop. He was afraid he would lose his job. I told him I understand all of that, that I was never going to call the cops, but I also said that there is a convenience store on the corner he could have stopped at. It hadn’t occurred to me until just now that he couldn’t stop at a fast food restaurant because they’re all closed. I told him numerous times that I appreciated his apology. He got himself under some semblance of control, and walked away.

After he left, it also occurred to me just how much courage that took to come back and apologize. He had no way of knowing what my reaction would have been. I could have berated him, beaten him up, or even shot him. Who knows these days? Though I’m not thrilled that he was relieving himself in my street, I am deeply touched by his actions afterwards. We all do things we perhaps shouldn’t have done, make mistakes, whatever, but we are measured by how we deal with it.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:16

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Honestly, if I was still a roadie adjuster, I'd be doing the same thing.  You gotta do what you gotta do

ttyymmnn > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 04/22/2020 at 23:17

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Yeah, but in a neighborhood? The side of the highway is one thing, in front of a house is another.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:20

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I mean, it depends how bad you gotta go. I'd probably not, but I've also been in a situation where I have 20 homes to visit during an emergency event and I just gotta go

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:26

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I usually get them peeing on the side of my house during Mardi Gras; the festivities are about a mile east of me on Soulard and my neighborhood gets used for parking. They’re not working and  not sorry - just drunks wandering around being a nuisance...

Cash Rewards > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:27

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This is not the post I was expecting to read, but a good post to read. Thanks for taking the time

CB > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:29

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I’ve had to emergency urinate in a residential alley. But I get you being unhappy.

Overall, kudos to him apologizing and you both for dealing  with it like adults.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 04/22/2020 at 23:43

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Aremmes > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:44

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That was a lot better than an incident I witnessed once on a bus. I was on my way home when a bum got on board, sat a couple of seats away from me o. the back row, whipped out his dong and started peeing on the floor. I stood up and started walking towards the front, and he started to say “I’m sorry”. I signalled for my stop and stood near the front door, and the driver asked “Was that beer or bathroom?” “Bathroom”, I said. So I got out and walked away, the driver got up to get the bum out, another bus was called in to finish the route, and the other passengers got their bus ride extended by 30 minutes at least.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > TheRealBicycleBuck 04/22/2020 at 23:48

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I’ve wanted to do that, but the property owner is too cheap to put a spigot on the side of the house. He says that he pays for the water and so he won’t even let us wash our cars on the property. Kind of ticks me off when I follow the “ if it’s yellow, let it mellow... ” mentality.

ranwhenparked > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:49

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This is why, as a traveling salesman when not forcibly housebound, I save empty water bottles.

I also keep a roll of toilet paper and some extra clothes in the car, but I'm not going to get into the why and wherefore of that now.

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn 04/22/2020 at 23:56

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I knew a fella, Texas Born and Bred, who related this story about his first trip to New York City (get a rope). He landed at the airport and caught a taxi to his hotel. Not ten minutes into his taxi ride, they were caught at a red light and a fellow IN A BUSINESS SUIT (emphasis his) was peeing into the gutter RIGHT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF THE CAB! He rolled down the window and said, “boy, you better put your pecker back in your pants. Where I come from, real men don’t pee in the street.” The New Yorker had a few choice words before the cabbie pulled away. I guess he was lucky the guy didn’t pee into the cab.

After their clean getaway, he asked the cabbie if that was normal around there. The cabbie told him that he knew of a place where you could see people having sex on the street. The Texas fella called him a liar. The cabbie said that he would make the detour if the Texas fella was willing to pay the extra fare. To sweeten the deal, the cabbie told him the ride would be free if they didn’t see at least one couple doing the dirty deed.

The cabbie won his bet. “Would you believe it ?!? We saw THREE couples, men in BUSINESS SUITS, screwing women RIGHT THERE ON THE STREET!”

The Texas fella ended up paying an extra $50 on the fare. He ended the story by swearing that New York City was hell on earth and he would never go back again.

I’m glad to hear that there’s still some humility left on this planet. I’ve had a few emergency stops myself over the years, but they were always in a secluded area. I can’t imagine the embarrassment that fellow must have felt at being caught.

Urambo Tauro > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:11

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Kudos to him for manning up to apologize. But there are cleaner and more discreet ways to take care of business than just going in the street like that. Even without a public bathroom to stop at. When I was working construction, I would carry a plastic bottle in case of emergency (specifically, a Gatorade bottle because of its  wider opening). You could open the truck door and face inward for some semblance of privacy, and later find some discreet location to empty the contents.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:12

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Oddly, there is so much about this story that makes me feel good. Except the peeing in someone’s neighborhood part.  That part’s gross.

Chariotoflove > TheRealBicycleBuck 04/23/2020 at 00:13

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That was fun.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:14

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A certain friend of mine and his brother were stuck in my mom’s car with me in a snowstorm a long time ago. Being on the highway for hours and hours, his brother had to pee. So he gets out and walks to what he thinks was the side of the highway. Except that was between an exit ramp going down to the street that passes underneath the highway. And he just pees right there in front of lots of people stick in their cars.

I am surprised that the delivery driver came back and that he was so sincere. They are under a lot of strain right now and clearly you did the right thing in both encounters.

HammerheadFistpunch > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:28

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Wow, props to that man for owning up to it and coming back.  

DipodomysDeserti > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:30

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Be glad it wasn’t Albert Bell.

smobgirl > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 00:40

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Good on him for coming back.

I’ll admit, I’ve had some close calls on the road trips I’ve had since all this started. They’ve closed all the fast food dining rooms  and a bunch of rest areas so your only trusted option - especially if you’re off the interstate system - is truck stops. If you’re on a 100 mile stretch through rural Kansas with no truck stops you’re screwed. Not even trees to hide behind on the side of the highway. I have to be really careful with timing beverages to balance the dehydration headache versus bathroom emergencies!

Merkin Muffley > Cash Rewards 04/23/2020 at 01:27

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Im just glad there were no pics

Nauraushaun > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 03:02

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Poor guy. 

RPM esq. > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 03:54

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That’s a decent and brave guy. Good for him and you. Although surely he could have found a better spot in the first place—in a pinch,  who hasn’t taken a leak by the side of a highway, in a stretch of woods, or in an alley behind a too-crowded bar? Shit, I miss road trips and crowded bars.

pip bip - choose Corrour > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 04:09

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if he was taking a slash against a tree, i have no issues

66P1800inpieces > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 08:02

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Agreed,  that is why they make bottles.   I  understand they also make versions anatomically correct for the female form but have never tried one.   I remember an ex boss who was a pilot in a previous part of his life that told me about hour runs, or something similar to build up experience hours and the other guy had a big bottle for a small bladder. 

shop-teacher > pip bip - choose Corrour 04/23/2020 at 08:37

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I just learned a new term. Never heard that one before.

Thomas Donohue > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 04/23/2020 at 08:37

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Doesn’t anyone know how to use a large-mouthed Gatorade bottle anymore? Back in the day it was a win-win, you got to replenish with a nice drink, and got a portable urinal as a bonus.

Always have a (clean)  empty one in the trunk.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 04/23/2020 at 08:38

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Wow! Yeah, a mistake was made, but that is clearly a good person. You both did well.

ttyymmnn > pip bip - choose Corrour 04/23/2020 at 09:17

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Back in about 1985 , I got to know an Aussie clarinet player who was going to school in the US. We played some shows together, and since we were playing for free, we tended to do a bit of partying before the show. He was the one who taught me the term “slash.”