Why do people name their cars?

"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo) 04/18/2020 at 13:13 • Filed to: None

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I know some of you do, and believe me, this post is not here to shame you. If naming your car feels right, name away and enjoy your car. But I went down a bit of a rabbit hole on this one because, to be honest, I just don’t get it and I never have. Maybe you have to be a car namer to understand it, and I just am not one. But I see a lot of car people who do it, so I find it fascinating and kind of curious, just because I can’t see myself ever giving a car like the Sunchaser a human name, no matter how much I love it.

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I am trying to procrastinate, because I need to go into the office and answer emails and work on billing. I have had a weird anxiety that I am fighting about my business. No matter how much I grow (revenue has increased by 2.5 times over the 5 years that the business has been open), I have always had this fear and stress that it will all go away tomorrow, and of late the feeling that my competitors will overtake me and erase me.

It is an irrational fear, because the business has been consistently growing and stable, and because new work continues to come in. But it has been one of the things that propels me to push for growth, and I find my worries increasing in these uncertain times. So reading about why people name objects is a nice distraction.

Anyway, the car naming thing is very common.

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I find these stats interesting. Apparently, naming is more common among women than men. I do tend to use female pronouns to refer to cars, but I feel like for me that is more related to nomenclature for ships than to anthropomorphism. I just think of them as things, not beings. But I also don’t know if namers really think of their cars like living things, or if the naming thing is just fun whimsy.

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I don’t think it means you are smarter or dumber if you name your car or if you don’t; I don’t see a superior or inferior approach to car ownership here. I think it is an interesting phenomenon, and as a non-namer, I am curious as to why those who name choose to do so, and how they choose the names. With pets, I usually hang out with a new edition for a while and I feel like the name emerges in connection with the personality. With my kids, the names just kind of came to us. Forgive the pun, but what drives the name of a car?

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I will confess that if you name your Honda Rhonda, or your car McCa rmick, I will probably think less of you. But not much less, especially if you love your car. Car enthusiasm goes a long way with me.

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Where do you fall on this? Namer or non-namer? Non-namer who would think about it, or (like me) someone who can’t imagine naming a car?

I know if I tried it, it wouldn't stick.  The Sunchaser is always just the Sunchaser to me.

Just Jeepin' > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:21

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I never used to, but my ex-wife named her cars, so I’ve picked up the habit, a bit.

I owned a black del Sol at the time; we named her Phoebe, for Phoebe Cates.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:24

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My truck has a nickname "leaky" that my family uses. Beyond that, I'm not a namer

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:27

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1 in 4 seems high. I would guess something more like 1 in 8 actually give their car a human name. For instance, the blueberry, the eggplant and the guy’s last name (ending in ca) ending in car don’t really anthropomorphise the car but merely assign it traits of a different object. That is the only naming I could ever see myself doing. I’ve weirdly wanted to name a green and yellow car The Lemon-Lime after my favorite s oda. I used to have a green and yellow football I never dated to call that because it looked like that hybrid half lemon l half lime on  the Sprite can.

Slant6 > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:31

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I never like to give them people names, but I do like qualitative names.

The Silver Moose, my car in Highschool:

The M illennial Falcon (although it doesn’t make much sense):

Tube Sock (got the name from Dirt Every Day’s white Jeep, but it fit the Ranger):

Big Sock (basically the R anger but BIG):

And now I drive Long Sock (which is shorter than both preceding Socks, but still is proportionally long):

Sock name is sticking because they're white like socks. I also had several cars along the way that never got names. All comes back to personal preference. 

DipodomysDeserti > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:32

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My vehicles are named as follows:

The truck

The broken  truck

The Jeep

The BMW

The Honda

The other Honda

Jim Spanfeller > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:34

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I’m definitely a car namer... I think a lot of us car-namers tend to be the kinds of people who anthropomorphize all sorts of things, but cars in particular feel especially deserving of names. Cars are deeply personal and important objects to us; objects which we spend a lot of time and money on. So they already feel like more than just an appliance. Then there’s the fact that cars all have their own unique character. Some are more unique than others, but the character is there. A nd even if it’s not immediately obvious, the more time you spend with a car, the more you start to discover its personality, and the less it feels like just an object. In your head you know it’s just a machine, but emotionally it starts to feel like a beloved pet or an old friend. When that happens, it kinda feels wrong for the car not to have a name.

The moment I first saw my ‘66 Thunderbird, I could immediately recognize that it had character out the wazoo, and that was a big part of why I bought it. I was delighted by all its little quirks, so I ended up naming it Phoebe, after the character from “ Friends”. It just felt right. The car has, in a way, transcended the level of “car” and become a character. And Characters should have names.

At least, those are my thoughts.

Brickman > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:36

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The S-10.... im imaginative :P

for Michigan > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:38

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Giving cars human names has always felt un natural to me. My college girlfriend talked me into naming my Fiero, but I never called it by it’s name, I still just called it “the Fiero”. After that, I tried to name a couple cars but it never stuck.

Jim Spanfeller > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:41

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Also...

“•About of out of four surveyed think of their car as a girl, with women more likely to have a “baby” girl. Witness “Eleanor” from the2000 film Gone in 60 Seconds or the homicidal Chevrolet named Christine from Christine.”

AAAAAAAAAGHH!!!! What out of four? What’s the percentage here? Also, IT’S A PLYMOUTH, NOT A CHEVY!!! That article started out so well, but now I’m getting triggered, lol.

Thomas Donohue > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:42

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I’ve never named my cars, motorcycles, or my guitars (another phenomenon) . I tend to not even call them by their model names, instead saying “I’m taking the truck” or “should we take the little car” (Boxster).

** Disclaimer...my old 78 280Z, for a brief time before it rusted in half, was referred to as ‘the grey ghost’ because it was just flat gray, with no finish, no hubcaps, and lots of rust. Not even sure I was the one who started it, may have been one of my friends. He drove a ‘war wagon’ which was some kind of hand-me-down 70's station wagon.  Ahhhh to be 18 again....

ClassicDatsunDebate > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:42

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I’m a nicknamer, not a namer....I think they are distinctly different. I’ve been on the internet long enough to know the perils of anthropomorphism.

On the subject of business...most entrepreneurs I know, well, successful entrepreneurs anyway, have that Sword of Damocles feeling.  I have it too.  It’s healthy to cultivate in small doses.  It’s what drives your business.  It’s also what separates good leadership/followership from mediocre.  It’s your own internal call to action.  Use it’s energy for good.  Believe me, I’ve been involved with great entrepreneurs and have also been involved in acquiring their business’ and assimilating them....those companies are never the same without that ‘sole proprietor’ at the helm.

daveIT > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:44

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Because they have no real friends?

NKato > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:45

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1 in 4 seems accurate. Nearly everyone in the panther club named their car. My mother named her Honda Civic Hybrid “Zippy” (it’s beginning to reach the end of its operational lifespan).

CB > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:46

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I name my cars and other things I work on (all my computer builds have had a name). I dunno, it seems like a fun and free way to personalize something, and it makes it yours.

Names also say a lot about us. I was driving in the car with some buddies, when one of them looked at my navigation screen and saw that my phone was linked.

“Is your phone really called Jukebox Hero the Third?”

“Yep.”

“That explains a lot.”

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 13:46

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It still falls under a nickname or “pet name”, I think. It’s kinda like how a lot of people name their pets non-human names, or after random animals or objects. It’s still anthropomorphism, just not assuming the car should have a human name.  

412GTI > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:48

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As a non car namer I too find this a very interesting rabbit hole to go down. Maybe it’s the company you keep or if you were raised naming inanimate objects, but I know to me it feels odd referring to a mechanical machine with a human name. I think we all talk to our cars (good or bad) occasionally, but yeah, naming I’m just not sure about.

I remember when I bought my Civic Si I wanted to name it something because it felt like an achievement, something I own myself..yet after 4 years that never happened. The only cars my friends and I ever named were total shitboxes and were usually called “shitbox” or “garbage car” haha. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 13:49

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Turkey would like to have a word with you.

Yes, I think it is still a small minority that name their cars human names; I was suggesting that most of the names recorded in the study fall into the other category.

thatsmr > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:50

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Carry mccarface? Not a namer either, but do have a tradition of naming cats old names..Louise, Francine...

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 13:52

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I guess I don’t name them all, the Z doesn’t have a name other than Mobile Traffic Cone. We do call the Mercedes Dinero because I spent more on it initially than I told my wife it was going to be so she started calling it that. It’s more of a joke I guess, but it stuck. I would only name a larger boat, my kayak has no name. With the truck I might do some nose/war art with Korean, I even got an older Korean grandpa of a friend of mine to write, “Panmunjom Express” in correct 1950's Korean. I thought about a donkey kicking someone with “Still Kick’n” too.

Jim Spanfeller > Just Jeepin' 04/18/2020 at 14:01

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Hey, I named my car Phoebe too! I named mine after the Friends character, though.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:05

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How many here have a car named money pit? Raise your hands.

Chariotoflove > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:05

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I kind of sort of name. It’s kind of an inside joke with my family that comes from the fact that our current round of cars are the first in our history that “talk” to us through their GPS and infotainment. So, the van is Trixie, because that’s what I jokingly named the first desktop computer in our lab that was enabled for voice recognition commands when I was in grad school. It was something the secretary of a business man in a bygone age. My K900 is Genie, kind of loosely after the idea of a genie in the bottle (trapped in my dash), and also a close friend named Jeanne.

But we forget to use the monikers as often as not, so I don’t think I qualify as an actual “namer” by the definition you're using.

interstate366, now In The Industry > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:06

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I only have a name for one of my cars, and it’s its own name in Japan. Not sure if that counts.

I call them all female, like boats are, though.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 14:08

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Yeah... Turkey’s cute, btw. I used to have a dog named Cookie, so we’ve both had pets named after food ;)

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 14:10

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I can certainly see that. The more un ique a car the more deserving of a name it is. The human name thing is a bit divide, but it largely depends on the car AND and human.

My Cruze has more character than most modern cars (for instance, no trunk release inside always needs explaining - to people outside) but even then I never could think of something it shares traits with.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:16

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I’ve named 3 cars but it’s not really my thing. Two were given names by a friend and they just  stuck. Mimi for my first Miata, and then mimii for my second lol. The bug is just the bug and the Ferrari is just the Ferrari. Actually, only cars I've named I've sold, so maybe their is some psychology there I do not understand 

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 14:19

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In that case, I find it works to give it a normal-but-only -outside-of-America name, like Geoff. Your car’s name is Geoff now.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 14:24

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Aaaargh no literally anything but Geoff. Not even Jeff for Jefferson but for Geoffrey! And is Geoff normal only outside of the US? Or do you mean the continent? I am just desperately trying not to name my car Geoff because it somehow is just too good.

I don’t see myself giving it a human name but Clay might be appropriate given the color of the car and of  clay around here.

winterlegacy, here 'till the end > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:34

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I don’t particularly name my cars, instead I give them nicknames. The Legacy is the “Fishbowl” because it feels like you’re driving around in a giant fishbowl. Everyone can look in, and the moment the sunlight hits, you’ll get boiled out of it. The T&C is the “Egg” because if you squint hard enough it looks vaguely ovoid, and it’s robin’s egg blue.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 14:39

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Within the U.S. it is usually spelled “Jeff”, and I think I’ve only seen the “Geoff” spelling used in European contexts. Somehow, I find the “Geoff” spelling really funny, so I use it a lot. Maybe you could call it “Jeffany”, or one of Gus’s nicknames from “Psych”:

I think Ghee “The Heater” Buttersnaps could work quite nicely ;)

Tripper > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:51

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Related: When people say things like “there she is”, “she’s a beaut”or just referring to any motor vehicle as “she” knida makes my skin crawl but I can explain exactly why.

I don’t name cars as a rule. We have named both Rangers “Tan Stan, and Red Ted”. I don’t know why we named the Tan one, and the red one only got a name because the tan one had a color oriented rhyming name.

Most of my cars are and have been super popular within the enthusiast realm at least, so they need no introduction. STi, M3, S3, 02...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 14:52

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Jefferson is much more common that I’ve seen, so it is shortened “ Jeff.” That said, I hate almost all of the human names , though Geoff is somehow fitting and is also the name of the home-made car from Top Gear . Jeffany especially is an offense to my ears . **shivers in disgust**

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:57

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I occasionally have cars which develop names, but I’ve never deliberately named one. They tend to have been the ones with strong individual quirks (ie personalities). 

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 14:59

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I’ve named both my cars...it helps to give me a connection to them where they are a big part of my life and mine mean a lot to me, however mundane they are. :)

My old 2002 Subaru Impreza 2.5TS wagon was called ‘Beastie’ and my current 2009 Hyundai Accent hatch is called ‘Humdrum’ :)

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 15:01

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I once met  a boy named “Smashley”. That’s the cringiest name I’ve personally encountered, though I’ve heard stories of much worse...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 15:04

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That. Umm. That may just be worse than my personal best (worst?) o f “Sir.” Yes, his name was “ Sir ” and only "Sir."

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 15:12

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Sir!? Wow. That’s really something. I guess that’s one way to make an impression at parties...

As for Smashley, my current theory is that his parents really wanted to name their baby “Ashley”, but it ended up being a boy, so rather than find a different name, they just decided to manly-ify it. And thus, Smashley was born!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 15:23

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Yes but I’m sure Smashley doesn’t get much company at parties. There is a difference between making up a name and making up a badge of shame. Sir wasn’t that bad because his middle name was William. Quirky and offbeat, but not entirely shameful.

And also someone my mom knew had a nameplate that said Pat A. Bottom because that was her name. I imagine that it was either very intentional to put the A or very unintentional. No middle ground.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 15:32

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The only acceptable course of action if your first name is “Sir” is to do everything you possibly can to get knighted. Then you could say “Hi, I’m Sir Sir William!” Ooh, and get a doctorate or two as well...

Doctor  Pro fessor Sir Sir William!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 15:36

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That’s Mr. Doctor Professor Sir Sir William to you. Maybe even the III !

Some other interesting middle names: Kench [last name is a food] IV and Burwell

barnie > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 15:36

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My car is called Sully. That is to remind me that it is a base-model Subabru Legacy E. Normally I don’t name my rides, cars or otherwise .... But then there was that bike I rode for years named Nellie. She carried me thru most of high school and across this country .

Lady at the rescue center asked me what I was going to name my cats when I got them. I told her, “I don’t know. They haven’t told me yet.”. Princess Erin told me by the time we got home ‘cause she is. Lessa took a couple weeks but she’s kinda slow that way .

My home is named Sparrow because she is a boat. This is required on federal documents. Interesting thing there is that the hailing port can be anywhere that has a zip code. Sparrow’s is Paradise, WY though neither of us has ever been there (that I know of).

The guys at the shop where we built these little, precise mills joshed me about naming a machine long ago so I named my new personal mill George. No other reason though the sticky tape with that name and home position is still on the front.

All my computers have names, too, because that’s required. I name them after famous sailors. Th is post is being written on Joyon after Francis Joyon. Google him ; what a man!

I have a pair of Charles Daly .45s named Susan and Elinor. Th ese are in honor of the 2 women (they weren’t ladies) who ran the men’s dorm at the rehab center.

Thanks, IM. Had n’t thought through this subject before. Of all the stuff I have, these are all that are/were named.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 15:42

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Also, the man who invented the s-pipe used in toilets was named “Th omas Crapper”. Apparently, it’s an old English name that means “harvester”. So when you say you’re going to use the crapper, you’re really saying you’re going to use the harvester. Which is actually a fairly accurate description of what a toilet does, when you think about it...

CaptDale - is secretly British > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 15:45

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Well I think for the most part names are female like they are traditionally with boats which was done for good luck . While having women aboard a vessel was not good luck, go figure. I have named the vehicles I cared about and when the name came to me. They all have had some sort of back story though. For instance:

The Austin Healey is named Wanda after Jamie Lee Curtis’s role in A Fish Called Wanda because she was and American in Britain and this is a Brit in America. Also helps I find her very attractive .

My Fiero was named Donna as she was red and fiery like Donna Noble in Doctor Who.

The GTO was named Lilith as that is the traditional name for the female devil, the devil’ s wife, or the mother of all demons depending on which legend or myth you subscribe to. This name was chosen because she was an ‘06, with a 6 speed, and a 6.0l, so 666.

The 2 Suburbans I had never got names as they were just beater trucks I had in between cars, the Audi was nicknamed the dad-mobile or the mommy wagon depending on who was teasing who, and then my Jeep was just “The Jeep” from my family so that was how it was called.

I am sure at some point the Vette will get a name, but nothing has really felt right to me yet.

RPM esq. > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 15:46

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This is a r eally interesting and a good idea for a post. I’m a non-namer, but I know some namers and the names are usually (but not always) at least somewhat humorous and arise from inside jokes, stuff kids say, or descriptive qualities of the car ( think “Big Blue”) , less like human or pet names . It definitely has nothing to do with left-brain/right-brain tropes or intelligence ...my grandfather was a PhD nuclear physicist AND marine biologist and he named every car he ever owned except the last one, which had been my grandmother’s, and she wasn’t a namer so it would have been weird to name it.

Now that I think about it, the names are more often but not always  female (the ship thing, I think) but most namers I know don’t use gendered pronouns for even a female- named car, just “it” or the name. I know one exception, a colleague who calls her truck Bertha and “she.”

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 15:47

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If he had a boat and a high ranking in the military, he could be General Captain Mr. Doctor Professor Sir Sir William III!

Also, there was a news story a while back about an airline getting sued because an attendant mocked a girl who was named “Abcde”.

RPM esq. > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 15:48

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I know a couple American Geoffs . I guess I know more Jeffs, though.

Old-Busted-Hotness > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 15:51

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Do nicknames count? We have the Hellkitten (V6 Challenger) and the Love Boat (LTD Crown Victoria) but neither has inspired an actual human name.

And you get a pass from naming because Sunchaser is an awesome name in the first place, why change it?

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 15:54

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Hahaha. Haha. Ha. Hahahahahahahahaha. Sorry. Hahah. Ha.

Ha.

I’m done.

I just don’t even know how to respond to that. The attendant shouldn’t have mocked the girl and she definitely shouldn’t have been named that

RPM esq. > DipodomysDeserti 04/18/2020 at 15:59

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Similar for me:

The 4Runner

The Volvo

The Mercedes ( the wagon )

The Mercedes ( the fast  one)

Urambo Tauro > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 16:25

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I have a really hard time picking out personal names to assign to cars . I feel like the car has to reveal its name in some way first.

The only vehicle of mine that I’ve ever named is my truck. Because of the many differently- colored parts it has fr om other trucks, the word   harleq uin co mes to mind. And since those colors are various shades of red, white, & blue, America (or ’Murica , for short) comes to mind too. The ’Murlequin i s a portmanteau of those terms.

My bird IS the word > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 16:43

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Naming is in a weird place for me. I named my first car out of excitement, and have kind of been moving away from it since. Although, I think naming cars non-human names is way less creepy and I do like the idea of “project” names as it somehow feels more momentous. The T rans A m is called Pr oject P idgeon: T he Ra t W ith W ings, or just Pidge. My FOST is called June, although I never call it that.

My bird IS the word > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 17:15

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Also, I forgot to mention, historically speaking an item cannot take on a legend of its own without being named, partially why I detest the luxury car method of giving everything number/letter designations. Takes a much longer time to reach the status of the 911, and very rarely are they remembered.

fhrblig > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 18:42

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I’ve never been one to name my vehicles. The closest I’ve come is with my current truck. I don’t really call it by a name, but sometimes I want to refer to it as Old Dirty Hank. It’s somewhat old (12 years), it’s usually dirty (my fault for buying a white one), and it reminds me of a Barenaked Ladies’ song that I like.

I do sometimes think of them with a gender, oddly enough. My old Ranger was definitely a cranky old man at heart. It hated cold weather like I do and always made more creaks and groans in winter. 

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 19:11

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Apparently “Abcde” is pronounced “Absidee”, which is actually a pretty name, but an extremely stupid spelling. I mean, why not just spell it “Absidee”? I don’t understand the mentality of parents who give their kids stupid names for the sake of being original, with out first stopping to consider what impact that name will have on the kid’s future. That poor girl’s gonna hate her name pretty much as soon as she meets other people...

Another thing I find funny is people who give their kids biblical names wi thout knowing who they’re actually naming their kid after. For example, several people have been named after Delilah. But the thing about Delilah is that, well... “ She was a Philistine who, bribed to entrap Samson, coaxed him into revealing that the secret of his strength was his long hair, whereupon she took advantage of his confidence to betray him to his enemies.”  

Yeah, Delilah was kind of a monster. Don’t name your kids after Delilah.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 19:24

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As someone with an unusual family name that actually is good and I like, I feel I can speak with authority on the subject.

Yeah there are plenty of Biblical names with bad associations. I mean I guess you could name your kid Jude or Judas after the many many good Judes and Judases in the Bible but that one had to come along and ruin a great name. But Delilah just seems ignorant on the parent’s part.

And another interesting repercussion of Biblical names is that it always portrays even the greatest men as inherently flawed. David, Moses, Solomon, Jacob, Adam, Joshua, Abraham, all of their flaws were clearly acknowledged and on full display. That said, there are plenty of Biblical names I like, but you had better be aware of your child’s namesake before making a decision. 

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 19:29

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I also once heard of a girl named “Barista ”. That’s quite the subtle way to tell your kid that you have no hope for their future...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 19:31

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Subtle? I really don’t know about that. But someone did name their kid Ch lamy dia because they thought the name was pretty and were ignorant of the dis ease.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 19:35

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(snicker) BWAHAHAHA! Wow, that’s unfortunate. It reminds me of a poll that I read about where they asked a bunch of non E nglish-speakers what they thought the prettiest-sounding English word was, and the most commonly-picked answer was “diarrhea”.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 19:40

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That reminds me of that video you (?) posted which it turns out I really like.

But yeah, that is unfortunate but I can’t say I would do any better with an unfamiliar language. High school Spanish couldn’t teach me not to call someone father (papá) instead of potato (papa).

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/18/2020 at 19:50

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Or the difference between “Tengo catorce   años” (I am fourteen years old) and “Tengo catorce anos” (I have fourteen anuses). The latter is only true if you are a certain species of polychae te, in which case it is very difficult to speak Spanish at all...

Nothing > ImmoralMinority 04/18/2020 at 20:32

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No name for me. Of my vehicles, I’ve had one that I felt was sort of possessed, I called him Ed, a 1980 Sierra shortbed. I think my friend in high school actually named it , and it just stuck. My  other 26 vehicles have been nameless.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/18/2020 at 20:36

1

I will absolutely make sure to*   bring this up in casual conversation the next time I encounter a Spanish speaker.

*to not

That comment actually had a very Douglas Adams vibe to it. Reminds me of Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy . In other words, it made me laugh out loud repeatedly so good show.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/19/2020 at 00:21

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The crazy thing is that that polychaete with the multiple anus branches is real. And that’s not even the weirdest thing about it... During mating season, the anus branches, which also house reproductive organs, start to grow heads, eyes, and fins, eventually breaking off from the male polychaete so they can swim away to find a female and mate with it . It literally sprouts and sends off a bunch of sentient penises to do all the mating for it. Polychaetes are weird.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/19/2020 at 00:27

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I am quite glad I don't do that, since that would be awkward in the extreme. So these must have a high failure rate of not finding a female, otherwise there would have to be waaaay more females and very close by. Sucks to be a sentient penis then.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/19/2020 at 00:34

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You can learn all about it in this very educational video! I’m sure you’ll find that polychaetes are both fascinating and deeply weird. I should warn you though that Bobbit worms are pure nightmare fuel...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/19/2020 at 00:39

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I unfortunately cannot watch that video then after that warning (no, really, but thanks) because of a traumatic childhood incident that it might bring up remembrances of. No, really, but I would rather not. With that said, I'm off to bed to dream about literally anything but terrifying worms.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/19/2020 at 00:47

1

Alright, here’s the one about dragonflies instead:

Derpwagon > ImmoralMinority 04/19/2020 at 03:04

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I referred to my first car as Jean Claude Grand Am. Other than that I haven't named any of them.

jeepoftheseus > ImmoralMinority 04/19/2020 at 12:57

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Late to this but I follow your method for the most part. Typically will be shortened though as the wife’s Subaru is the Subie and the Suburban is the ‘burb. Jeep is Jeep.

The exception are nicknames, such as my mother’s brown 1995 Yukon that she hauled us kids around in and drove from new until two years ago was lovingly referred to by us kids, not my mom, “The Brown Bomber  People Hauler”. The Brown Bomber still lives on as a spare/guest vehicle at my parents simply because it is too much a part of the family.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ImmoralMinority 04/21/2020 at 15:38

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I named mine “Car” (sometimes referred to as Daddy’s Fast Car) and “Truck”.