Oppo Craigslist Challenge: Ruthless Parenting Edition

"Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available" (whoistheleader2) 04/11/2020 at 16:10 • Filed to: Craigslist Challenge

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I really enjoy making these so I decided to come up with a more complex scenario.

In a nutshell, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

Here it is: You are a wealthy man of the world and money is no object. However, money has not bought good parenting in your case. Your impotent little brat of a son has already crashed his first two cars: all brand new BMW M cars. You have always given him exactly what he wanted and more, but it is time to crack down. You have secured a job for him that requires a commute, so it is time to get him some wheels again.

Here’s the thing. This car has to teach him a lesson.

What I chose was a cheap small truck. In this case, a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that looks pretty good for 250,000 miles. This is not a cool car. This is not a fast car. This is a practical car. And with that many miles things will break, and he will have to fix them himself.

What would you do? The one weakness with my plan is this son is clearly a terrible driver and the Ranger is not known for its safety features. The manual might teach him a little about the art though.

Oh and you can use any online website you like for listings.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:12

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Snuze: Needs another Swede > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:13

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What kind of commute are we talking about? Is the shoelace express not viable? What about a bicycle?

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 04/11/2020 at 16:14

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This is wealthy suburban America we are (presumably) talking about here. The mere sight of a bus is enough to rank you among the poors. For the purposes of this he can’t walk or take the bus.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/11/2020 at 16:15

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In this scenario the job is a little too far away for those, though walking would be the best punishment of all.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:17

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I mean, I grew up with wealthy kids who literally crashed cars they didn’t like on purpose. Th ere is no way to can buy someone a car to “teach them a lesson”. It’s still a free car. If he doesn’t like it, then he can figure it out on his own.

WilliamsSW > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:21

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https://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/ctd/d/romeoville-2009-chevrolet-cobalt-stick/7095387864.html

Manual Cobalt for $1995. Fuck him. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 04/11/2020 at 16:22

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That is a problem. Perhaps we could assume this is a last chance before the bus scenario. I don’t know. I just wanted something more interesting than an hour rule.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > WilliamsSW 04/11/2020 at 16:24

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Manual windows and locks? Even better. Make him pay for his belligerence . T hat is, until he crashes it on purpose. Then he can take the bus. I like your thinking.

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:26

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https://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/d/harper-woods-2005-dodge-grand-caravan/7106795464.html

Safe vehicle but body is rough shape, to make it worse I take everything but the driver seat out. It’s an old dodge so it will break down and need repairs. Also if the A/C works probably disable that too.

WilliamsSW > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:31

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Al so shitty wheels and some weird stripe that EVERYONE will spot from a mile away, thereby maximizing the embarrassment.

I was searching for a manual Versa and this popped up.   

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > WilliamsSW 04/11/2020 at 16:43

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This is brilliant. The wing might be too cool for him but that would be easy to knock off.

ranwhenparked > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:48

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Question - is there street parking in front of my asshole neighbor’s house available? Because, in this scenario, there’s still  limits to what I’d want befouling my driveway.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ranwhenparked 04/11/2020 at 16:50

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He can street park it so you can maximize the shame.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Captain of the Enterprise 04/11/2020 at 16:51

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I like your thinking. That is a seriously uncool car, especially with only one seat. I might leave a bench seat in the way back so his girlfriend can’t sit next to him.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 16:59

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BWAHAHAHAHA! Force the little twerp to drive a Trabant! The crappy build quality, the necessity of mixing your own fuel, the scary driving experience, the complete and utter lack of luxury features of any kind... It’s the perfect car for a snobby, entitled rich boy.

To be clear, I know many of us Oppos would love a Trabant, me included. But it takes a certain kind of person to appreciate a Trabant... A person with no better options character! We have character. Snobby McRichboy doesn’t, and that’s the problem that this Trabant solves. https://classics.autotrader.com/classic-cars/1964/trabant/601/101055623

ranwhenparked > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 17:03

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Alright then

https://delaware.craigslist.org/cto/d/dover-2003-hyundai-elantra-gls-for-sale/7096938613.html

shop-teacher > Captain of the Enterprise 04/11/2020 at 17:11

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So, you're giving him a place to bang his ... Errr ... Special friend? This could backfire.

shop-teacher > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 17:13

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There is no lesson in any free vehicle. The little shit can go buy his own! Good luck sunshine!

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 17:15

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Here’s an idea... Buy him something like this:

This is a four-door 1948 Dodge D-24 Custom. It’s been sitting since 1971, and they want $4,000 for it. It doesn’t run, the floors are gone (although replacements are available), the hood is held closed  with a ratchet strap... But it’s a solid restoration candidate. If the kid wants his own free car, he can totally have one. But he’ll have to fix it up first. This way, he can’t crash it in frustration until he’s put a significant amount of labor into making it move under its own power, at which point he’ll probably have formed some sort of attachment to the product of all that hard work. The experience may teach him useful skills, the value of hard work, and to not take what he has for granted. And if he decides not to fix up the car, then his other option is to work hard and save up the money to buy his own car. Either way, that’s an improvement.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/11/2020 at 17:19

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And I can’t imagine the livery does that any favors in the high school parking lot. Nor does the smelly two stroke fumes emanating from the car an d the jerrycans in the trunk. I like your thinking.

Oh, and it is a wagon! Even better.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/11/2020 at 17:22

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That is a good idea but I would probably start him off with something that has floors and doesn't require welding knowledge. The necessity of learning mechanical skills is a key component to the puzzle. Something like an old Cobalt might require it too but he might not be motivated to fix something so dreadfully uncool.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > shop-teacher 04/11/2020 at 17:25

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That is a bit too rational a response for someone so rich. Also, this way there is a flimsy excuse to browse Craigslist.

Kiltedpadre > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 17:49

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Make sure someone is recording the kids face when he walks out to see the Maserati I bought him.

https://www.hemmings.com/classifieds/cars-for-sale/chrysler/tc/2386011.html

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 17:49

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Here’s another option...

Model A delivery van! The floors are made of wood and therefore easily replaceable, plus bonus hipster points for patina! All the parts are there, so it just needs to be fixed up, and these are dead simple, so that should be easy for a beginner.

shop-teacher > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 18:11

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Fair point :)

promoted by the color red > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 18:13

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https://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/cto/d/los-angeles-white-volvo-940-turbo-4-sale/7094994129.html

Redblock Volvo. You’ll go nowhere fast. 

SmugAardvark > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 18:16

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To me, nothing screams punishment like a beige minivan .

How about a Ford Freestar?

Or even better ...

ranwhenparked > Jim Spanfeller 04/11/2020 at 18:47

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How about this ‘48 Dodge? Allegedly runs and drives, and has a solid body for just $3,000.

I’ve been following this for several months as the price has gradually dropped. It started north of $5k.  But, still, Fluid Drive and and a flathead straight six, how much could possibly be wrong? 

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/940474676291134/

Snuze: Needs another Swede > WilliamsSW 04/11/2020 at 19:01

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I had almost that EXACT same car (besides the shitty wheels and graphics) except for 2 key factory differences - no spoiler and floor mats.

Seriously, on the base LS trim the floor mats were an option. The dealer had 2, one had a wing and no mats, and one with mats but no wing. I figured the floor mats would be more useful, so thats the one I took.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > SmugAardvark 04/11/2020 at 19:02

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The Ford Freestar is a real stinker. I recall the interior of these being subpar even when new and I can't imagine 15 years of kids has done them any favors.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 19:04

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Before I had the Cruze I had a Silver 09 Cobalt LS XFE. It was just like that minus the shitty wheels and graphics and one key difference - mine had the FACTORY OPTIONAL floor mats.  Yes, mats were an option.  So was the wing. The dealer had 2, 1 had mats and no wing, and the other a wing and no mats. I thought the mats would be more useful. 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Kiltedpadre 04/11/2020 at 19:04

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This may be the best response here. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > promoted by the color red 04/11/2020 at 19:07

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That is pretty much the default choice for rich people. There is a reason for that.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Kiltedpadre 04/11/2020 at 19:08

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This. This guy gets it. A bright yellow K car convertible is exactly the opposite of what a young brat  wants in the year 2020.

Kiltedpadre > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/11/2020 at 19:08

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The awful color I found it in just makes it better.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 04/11/2020 at 19:09

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You've got a point there. Especially if it has the flathead V8. I might be worried about safety but he s pretty much dead to me anyways.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ranwhenparked 04/11/2020 at 19:34

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Ooh that is a whole lot of car for that money.

Jim Spanfeller > ranwhenparked 04/11/2020 at 19:34

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As a project car, that’s a good deal. I wouldn’t mind that. But for the purposes of this post, I think it would be better to go with a non-running fixer-upper. The kid’s gotta put in some work if he wants a free car!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/11/2020 at 19:36

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Such luxury. Did yours have opule nt power windows?

ranwhenparked > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 19:40

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It really is, I’ve been getting tempted to go look at it. The trouble is I’d have nowhere to put it - I doubt it would fit in my garage, and parking it in the driveway would block whatever was in the garage, should it become immobile. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ranwhenparked 04/11/2020 at 19:46

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Oh and the small matter of 3 grand during a total economic shutdown. In happier times I would say pull the trigger. Even the bodywork looks pretty good and the interior is even better. Just look at these suicide doors! You can’t get leg room like that anymore. 

ranwhenparked > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 19:50

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This was back when ordinary family sedans were as spacious and comfortable as a modern limousine. The seats are chair height, and the ride quality on these 42/46/47/48/first half 49 Chryslers was excellent, as was the build quality. Plus, Fluid Drive pretty much lasts forever, no metal to metal contact, just a propeller and impeller in a fluid bath, and those straight sixes could not be more simple to work on.

Somehow, my company got North Carolina, Florida, and Puerto Rico to classify us as an essential business, so our factories and warehouses are still running, and they’re keeping the field sales force on work from home for now, since most of our customers are still open in some form. But, yeah, I’m not making any purchases until the stay at home order is lifted and I can go back to normal work. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ranwhenparked 04/11/2020 at 19:54

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Good on you for following orders there. That particular era of car is likely to see increasingly less demand but that just means it is a good buyer’s market. I would totally rock that.

I also just spotted that spotlight.

ranwhenparked > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 19:58

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My major concerns with this one would be brakes, and possibly floors. The body and interior look fine, and I doubt the drivetrain would have any issues that would be complicated to solve. The paint might even shine up, too. 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Kiltedpadre 04/11/2020 at 20:11

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Oh yes, absolutely! 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 20:13

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No. I had manual windows and locks. Weirdly, I miss that car. 

Nom De Plume > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/11/2020 at 20:35

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You lot are way too unimaginative. Gotta find something from a heavy smoking door to door salesman or anything that really makes it an awful place to be, not just to be seen, for any amount of time.

Now then, for any reasonable offer less than the $500 asking price you can afford to get this in order mechanically and pay the mech for dealing with leaving the interior as is. Bonus if he rips a few farts in there to top off the bouquet of rot and dead mice. What proud father hoping to teach his kid a lesson wouldn’t enjoy marching him outdoors by the scruff of his neck to get acquainted with this status symbol vehicle from a highly regarded German marque?

ML320 Mercedes 300,000 miles engine runs but it’s stuck in park. Has been sitting for a year and mice have gotten into it it’s in pretty rough shape.

https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/cto/d/farmington-mercedes-ml-320-runs-but/7105265879.html

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Nom De Plume 04/11/2020 at 20:44

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That is just so terrible I think he would rather walk. “Son, I bought you a Mercedes SUV for your behavior.

K udos for   the unique approach.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/12/2020 at 00:34

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I had actually seen this when I was looking for the budget speed one. But it just works so well.

Mechanically it’s sound so no “the car wouldn’t start” excuses if you miss work. It’s ugly, it’s slow, but it’ll do the job.

This is way worse than the 92 Camry that was my first car. But also some what better if you want to haul stuff. I kinda wish mine had been a wagon. Also I can testify that that these camrys are really good for learning the basics of rally driving, on snow and dirt. Surprisingly well composed cars.

also is said imaginary brat kid totals this one your only out like 1000 bucks. No big loss

Runner up would be this Sable. It actually looks really nice. But this kid would no doubt hate it. I would help him stance it, and wire in a bumpin  sound system. Just cuz I think that’s be hilarious 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > SmugAardvark 04/12/2020 at 00:37

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Those Freestars are shockingly shitty. I’ve only ridding/driven  in one, but in every imaginable way I thought “my buddies 99 Town and Country was way nicer than this” 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/12/2020 at 00:40

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I’d argued that minivans get cooler with less seats. Because they start becoming trucks 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 04/12/2020 at 00:41

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I literally shuttered  in horror when I saw that

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/12/2020 at 00:42

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You just made me realize the answer is moped. But now a nice, or kinda cool one. Like a shity 4 stroke Tao Tao 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 04/12/2020 at 01:07

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That is a good point. Let him rally it at your private track (because what else would you be doing with the money saved) and let him learn a valuable skill.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 04/12/2020 at 01:10

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I actually saw a Mustang this afternoon with a stripe so similar I nearly did a spit take. I couldn't get a photo but 8t was not good at all in person.