I'm not entirely certain.....

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 03/30/2020 at 11:14 • Filed to: scamlopnik

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...b ut I think this email I got might be a scam.

I’ve never gotten anything before that was written in Pirate. 

Thomas Donohue > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:21

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It would be more believable if it was from JPee Morgane Chasee.

facw > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:22

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Good Eye!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:23

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What kind of fuckery is this? Pig Latin ?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:23

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“...yes, the cat detector van from the ministry of housinge”
“Housinge?”
“Yes, it was spelled that way on the van. I’m very observant”

-Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Fish Licence sketch

Just Jeepin' > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:25

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That’s not pirate, that’s Shakespearean English! Don’t miss out on a chance to talk to someone who may have viewed  the Bard’s plays live!

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:26

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ARRRRR! Yer accounte be on ye olde securtye locke downe!

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:27

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No, this is totally legit. I gave them my password info, and all my accounts were unlocked...

...to them.

Clown Shoe Pilot > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:31

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jimz > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:32

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Wow, didn’t know spam dated all the way back to the age of Chaucer. Must have missed that part in the Canterbury Tales.

“ In a somer sesun when softe was the sunne,

I kylled a yonge birde and ayte it on a bunne.”

ttyymmnn > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/30/2020 at 11:32

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I’m assuming it’s an ESL issue.

ttyymmnn > jimz 03/30/2020 at 11:36

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MonkeePuzzle > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:37

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the online bank of E’s. so wealthy in E

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 11:40

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Ssfancyfresh > jimz 03/30/2020 at 11:41

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“ Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote The droghte of March hath perced to the roote...”

Ugh. Thanks high school lit. I will never forget the opening few lines

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 12:25

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You have comedy gold on your hands.

Stef Schrader > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 12:59

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Yarrrrrrrr.

jimz > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 13:25

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I’d wager it’s to try to get past spam filters. slightly altering common “trigger” words can get them through simpler scanners. 

fhrblig > ttyymmnn 03/30/2020 at 13:30

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Ah, yes.  I see the dispatch was sent from Ye Olde JP Morgan.

ttyymmnn > fhrblig 03/30/2020 at 14:09

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That’s Captain JP Morgan.

jimz > MonkeePuzzle 03/30/2020 at 19:22

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“We should enact an ‘e’ tax. Government agents would roam the country looking for stores whose names contained any word that ended in an unnecessary ‘e,’ such as ‘shoppe’ or ‘olde,’ and the owners of these stores would be taxed at a flat rate of $50,000 per year per ‘e.’ We should also consider an additional $50,000 ‘ye’ tax, so that the owner of a store called ‘Ye Olde Shoppe’ would have to fork over $150,000 a year. In extreme cases, such as ‘Ye Olde Barne Shoppe,’ the owner would simply be taken outside and shot.”

- Dave Barry