Update on Me

"Captain of the Enterprise" (justanotherdayinparadise)
03/26/2020 at 18:24 • Filed to: None

Hello everyone,

So my anxiety and depression is really really bad right now and after meeting online with my therapist today we decided I can’t be working right now. I need to put my safety and mental health first and then use what I have left on class and finishing the semester. I’ll get paid for this week and then get two weeks paid time off from the university and then I’m not sure about unemployment yet. They are letting me not quit and are open to me returning at some point but don’t know if I need to be fired or laid off to be able to do unemployment.

I’m not sure how to progress from here but think it’s the right call to keep me safe and okay and out of the hospital for my mental health. I’ve been having a lot of panic attacks this week and am really struggling to cope with managing everything. I’m hoping this all will work out. I’m trying not to be hard on myself for doing what what my doctor, therapist and I all think is right for my safety and wellbeing. I just wanted to let someone know what was going on.

I hope everyone is doing okay and staying safe out there.

DISCUSSION (31)

sony1492 > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 18:44

There is no shame in it, sometimes we take for granted how much people around us know. If they are giving you this recommendation its likely a good call, especially if your employer will work with you for unemployment benefits.

Investing time into your education is likely worth more then time invested into your job.(also: virus risk mitigation)

Stay safe

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 18:45

take care of yourself mate....look after number one

we’re all here for you...even jokers like me

coqui70 > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 18:46

I hope you get the help you need - it’s a tough time for sure. To try to relax if you can get a nice walk outside, if not watch the “Grand Tour” streaming on Amazon. Always makes me happy to see those buffoons screw around.

phenotyp > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 18:48

Take care of yourself, man. It’s weird how this is affecting all of us. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression all my life, too. This week has been an adjustment to home/school learning for my 6-year-old, and we’re lucky that neither of us works in a traditional office, and I have a studio, so we can split time in different places, but it’s been such a scramble trying to figure it all out each day.

If you’re alone (and most of us who deal with this kind of mental storm feels alone no matter what), know that you’re not. As small an outreach as a little note on a supposedly car-related website may be, don’t hesitate. It’s hard now. It’s gonna get harder. My mantra over the past couple weeks has been quoting Hunter Thompson: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Don’t hesitate to contact.

Captain of the Enterprise > sony1492
03/26/2020 at 18:52

Thank you, my therapist was pretty adamant about it which is unusual as she normally is more neutral and leaves it more to me but I can tell she is pretty concerned and was pushing me on this. My work seems okay with it and will take me back if I get better which is good.

Captain of the Enterprise > farscythe - makin da cawfee!
03/26/2020 at 18:53

Thank you, I’m really trying to and this will help me to do that.

Captain of the Enterprise > coqui70
03/26/2020 at 18:54

Thank you, me too. I’ve been watching the grand tour but want to watch the top gear seasons with them but can’t get that yet. I think it’s coming to motortrend in the future though.

Captain of the Enterprise > phenotyp
03/26/2020 at 18:56

Thank you, I wish you the best too. I need to put everything into my mental health right now and this will help with that.

Nom De Plume > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 18:58

Fairly sure everyone stuck at home is getting close to the level of anxiety and mental distress you normally live with. At least as far as running out of interests that actually provide some relief there isn’t a whole lot of answers. At least no synthesis of good feelings that is curative.

As I told Stef earlier today, mundane acts in a restricted environment that came about through boredom have preserved us since the dawn of time. The hours spent slowly ruining a deck of cards by flicking them can be just enough stimulation and physical concentration to make returning to supposedly fun things tolerable. Or make even a highly fit person out of breath enough to enjoy resting without the workload that had begun to accompany it.

Running laps around a kitchen island was pretty inspired by my estimation. Sometimes you just need to remember nobody else is watching or around to judge what kind of low IQ repetitive or nonsensical stuff you’ve gotten up to. I’ve known some pretty intelligent stable people to do some pretty unique things that they just carried through life.

Captain of the Enterprise > Nom De Plume
03/26/2020 at 19:00

Thank you, I feel bad that I can’t handle it right now.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:01

I don’t have any experience or qualifications regarding your situation, but this looks like it has the goal of simplifying your daily life. IMO that can only be good for you. Take care of yourself and we’ll all be here for you.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:04

Thank goodness you let us know about it. You can always rant here. Especially if it concerns your well-being.

I don’t know too much about your situation but I believe you said you are currently living in a small apartment. If possible, I would suggest some long walks in a park or jogging. Bike ride if you can. Get out but keep a safe distance.

I think you said that you have an Xbox. I’m free right now, so we could game if you want. Gamertag: TrickishHorse33

Did you take that picture? I like it.

coqui70 > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:06

Ah the classics! I think they re-run them on BBC America.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:06

Don’t.

Everybody has their physical and psychological limits. This is a real weird place we’re in right now, and some will unfortunately have a tougher time coping than others. But it sounds like you have the support you need, and there’s always us Opponauts to reach out to. Bonus: We don’t charge

Captain of the Enterprise > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
03/26/2020 at 19:14

Yeah it will. thank you, I appreciate that.

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
03/26/2020 at 19:17

Thank you, I’m living with my dad and stepmom at there house but we don’t get along well and they don’t care about my mental health.

I’m scared of leaving my room right now but want to try incorporating walks now that it’s nicer.

I’m not on Xbox right now but I appreciate that. I also did take that picture and thank you.

Captain of the Enterprise > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom
03/26/2020 at 19:18

Thank you, I’m meeting with my therapist twice a week through webchat right now which I’m very grateful to have.

DipodomysDeserti > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:20

The fact that you’re already dealing with an anxiety and depression, and had enough composure to seek help and make a change shows you’re handling it better than a lot of us who don’t have to deal with that added stress. Keep it up, you got this.

Nom De Plume > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:23

With only a very brief overview of your weight impacting health, health not providing much positive to dwell upon, and an unsurprising amount of distress that accompanies it. The last thing I can see you needing to do is feel bad about creating enough space to breathe more freely.

To that end, maybe a professional who has a little more robust attitude towards moving forwards could add to what your therapist is providing supportive strength to see you through. Position you to see the brass ring clearly enough to understand how to grasp it when the opportunity presents itself. There is help and there is helping.

Captain of the Enterprise > DipodomysDeserti
03/26/2020 at 19:37

Thank you, I really appreciate you’re point. I feel a little better about it now.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 19:53

Staying only in your room mere feet away from people who you think don’t care about your mental health is not conducive to mental health. You need something to do to get away from an unpleasant household dynamic. Long w alks do nicely.

I would also try taking good pictures while walking getting some editing software. Post your stuff on Oppo or maybe on some sort of photography blog. You seem to have a talent for it.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t hesitate to tell Oppo if you are having a rough time.

Something I took this afternoon:

Kinja'd!!!

Captain of the Enterprise > Nom De Plume
03/26/2020 at 19:53

Thank you.

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
03/26/2020 at 19:55

Thank you, I’m doing weekly photo challenges to occupy myself and now that it’s warming up want to incorporate more walks. That’s a nice shot too.

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
03/26/2020 at 19:56

Also I know they don’t because they ignored me being suicidal after I told them.

thatsmr > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 20:17

Maybe we have replied/starred one another in the past or not. Doesnt matter. We are all here for one another and I support you!

Cash Rewards > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 20:17

Oppo’s always here for this sort of shit.

That and shitp osting

Captain of the Enterprise > thatsmr
03/26/2020 at 20:20

Thank you!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 20:40

That’s good. Immediate realistic goals can keep you on track and active. What’s your goal for this week? I’ve been pretty busy but I’ve tried to work ahead enough to wash a car tomorrow. We’ll see if the weather cooperates.

Too bad about your living situation in this whole mess and your parents’ unpleasant reaction . That’s not something to ever take lightly. But I wouldn’t give up on them because that will just make you feel worse. Make a point to be very polite and ask them how their day went. Maybe you can play a board game or watch a movie with them every now and again and they might come around.

If you ever want to vent or say something but maybe don’t feel like making a public post, you can reply back to this thread and I’ll respond. Depression ain’t no joke and we at least are here for you when you need it.

Got any other shots you like? I don’t think you’ve posted any that I can remember.

Kinja'd!!!

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
03/26/2020 at 21:25

Thanks, I need to take a photo that represents a song which is tricky. I also need to do some coursework for my social work and my epidemiology class. Here is another photo I took recently

Kinja'd!!!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Captain of the Enterprise
03/26/2020 at 21:38

Nice. Very abstract, which I rather like. What is that glowing orb exactly?

Legos make great abstract compositions.

Kinja'd!!!

Captain of the Enterprise > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
03/26/2020 at 21:55

It’s a clear glass sphere being lit by my iPhone fl ash light below it