*Cars & Politics* -- Which Muscle Car is your Democratic Candidate? [ Updated ]

"way2blu does a rev update" (way2blu) 03/05/2020 at 12:52 • Filed to: Comedy, Politics, Muscle Car, mustang, camaro, camero, Challenger

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With the Super Tuesday results in, we have 3 key candidates left in the Democratic Primaries. What better way to understand the field, than to understand which American Muscle car is which candidate?

Bernie Sanders: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Doin’ his same thing since the ‘60s, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is the Ford Mustang of the Democratic field. He loves crowds, but the billionaires fear he’ll spin out and cause major damage.

Joe Biden: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Much like the Dodge Challenger, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! “classic” vibes see strong support despite him being older and slower than the competition.

Elizabeth Warren: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Just like the Camaro, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! outperforms the competition across a number of metrics, yet sees dwindling support due to poor visibility.

all images via manufacturers & candidates.

[ Update ]

At press time, Elizabeth Warren was still running for president. As of her withdrawal from running this morning, it’s 2002 all over again for the Camaro.

pip bip - choose Corrour > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:48

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Bernie all the way!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:51

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The Biden one makes great sense, as he’s a relic, celebrated for championing on an outdated platform, yet is still most likely to succeed.

The Snowman > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:51

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Biden leaves the protective bananas on his Challenger.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:54

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Most of them look like this to me.

Old, nasty, and useless.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:55

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My heart says Camaro. My brain says Challenger. 

dogisbadob > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:56

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Tulsi is still in the race :p

Tulsi is the Civic Si coupe lol

dieseldub > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 21:58

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“Dwindling support due to poor visibility.”

Hahaha, fuck, that’s the one that got me. Well played double entendre.

Nick Has an Exocet > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 22:02

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What kind of financing plan does each candidate get?

Bernie Sanders walked out of the dealership 3 times before buying his Mustang. Ultimately, he settled on an 84 month loan at 24% APY since the bank was quite certain that he’d never pay back a single dime but Ford Finance was more than willing to make the deal happen if he could have his wife or her campaign advertising company cosign on the loan.

Joe Biden walked in the door of the dealership, slapped the roof of a Challenger R/T, and said “how much do you want for this bad boy?”. He didn’t negotiate the price, opted for a low mile lease that he’ll certainly go over, and also took out an extra credit card to bankroll an aftermarket exhaust and wheels. He also inquired at the dealership about leaving the car there so his wife wouldn’t find out and hit on the female finance manager .

Elizabeth Warren contacted the internet sales manager and requested to come in after hours to complete the transaction so no one could see how hard she found doing the math on the payments for the 4 cylinder “muscle car”. Around 3am, the paperwork was finished, but GM finance had to come back and check whether she actually qualified for the Native American discount.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 22:11

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Seriously? We’ve long since known about Biden’s TA... Roll With It...

Secretary of the Interior!....

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/04/2020 at 22:13

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And....

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/04/2020 at 22:13

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he’s a pushrod?

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > The Snowman 03/04/2020 at 22:15

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“Wanna step into the back of my Oldsmobile? I’ve got a protective banana I’d like to show you...”

For Sweden > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 22:20

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They all love the IRS yes.

AestheticsInMotion > Nick Has an Exocet 03/04/2020 at 22:34

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But... There's supposed to be a good scenario. Where's the good scenario 

Maxima Speed > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 22:49

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What do “ Vermin Supreme” and “ Bass Equus” have in common? Well both are totally insane propositions with equally rediculous and anachronistic names, and yet,  in spite of everything your brain is telling you still kinda want to try to get (just to see what happens). Also both seem to have tenuous connection reality and you wonder if underneath something else entirely is going on.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 03/04/2020 at 22:57

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We don't die of Coronavirus?

ranwhenparked > way2blu does a rev update 03/04/2020 at 23:35

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Wouldn’t this be more Bernie Sanders’ style?

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/04/2020 at 23:38

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14 days off doesn't sound too bad

Nick Has an Exocet > AestheticsInMotion 03/05/2020 at 00:11

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A good situation is that we all go back in time and start a 3 party system.

M.T. Blake > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 00:43

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Sooooo what would Trump be?

Wacko > M.T. Blake 03/05/2020 at 01:09

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.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/05/2020 at 06:50

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Also, all but him  are convertibles with no top. All it will take is one good rain for some of these, but Biden has proved himself.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > pip bip - choose Corrour 03/05/2020 at 06:53

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Be rnie’s Mustang has a leaky aftermarket ragtop , and it can’t keep all the rain out. The rest just leave their windows down from carelessness.

David E. Davis > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 12:00

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now we are down to two. Liz warren dropped out this morning. 

MonkeePuzzle > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 12:01

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all my Dem choices have dropped out, so probably a Pontiac GTO makes the most sense, as both Pontiac is gone, and Holden who made the Monaro

MonkeePuzzle > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 12:04

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ya know... you listed three candidates, one of whom has dropped out, and you missed Tulsi who (currently) is still in it.

Shoop > M.T. Blake 03/05/2020 at 12:07

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Muscle truck. Stupid, fat, old, slow, overly powerful, out of control, unrefined and ballsy, but the only of of these that won’t be c rashed in 8 months. 

Sovande > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 12:09

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Bernie would take the bus, but would expect that the government pay the fare.

Biden would drive something easy, as driving with early onset dementia is tough.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > M.T. Blake 03/05/2020 at 12:12

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An orange V6 Charger upbadged as a Hellcat Redeye, with bumper guards and shitty aftermarket headlights ... and a confederate flag on the roof.

Gerry197 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/05/2020 at 12:45

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All makes sense except more like to succeed?  I mean on the car side, what is the Challenger more likely to succeed in?  

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Gerry197 03/05/2020 at 12:51

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Longevity, prestige, rah rah America, no replacement for displacement. The Mustang is now used as a nameplate for a “radical” electric crossover, the Camaro may follow suit, while the Challenger continues to dig its heels as MURICA muscle car.

Gerry197 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/05/2020 at 12:56

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Sure, but the Mustang still outsells the Challenger and if you include internal sales for all 3 makes, it absolutely dwarfs all of them.

I highly doubt there will be a time when the Mustang (car) will every be beaten by either Camaro or Challenger in total sales.

I think the most likely to succeed is the Mustang. 

Grindintosecond > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 12:58

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Of course.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Gerry197 03/05/2020 at 13:02

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Super Tuesday  seems to favor Biden so... I don’t know what else to say 

Spanfeller is a twat > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 13:04

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wanna guess who.

Gerry197 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/05/2020 at 13:07

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Lol, I’m just being to literal with this.  

LongbowMkII > Shoop 03/05/2020 at 13:56

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There’s a reason you don’t see any  SRT-10 rams

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > way2blu does a rev update 03/05/2020 at 14:17

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Those are good choices, but they need to be like 1971 model year.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/05/2020 at 14:18

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Well played, Sir.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Nick Has an Exocet 03/05/2020 at 14:22

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But they all come with ABS: Absolute B***S**t.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Wacko 03/05/2020 at 14:28

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I was skimming and I saw this picture and thought, “More like President Trump,” then I saw the prompt you were replying to.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Shoop 03/05/2020 at 14:29

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And a pavement queen.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 03/05/2020 at 14:30

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Good one.

Jim Spanfeller > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 03/05/2020 at 15:36

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It somehow just occurred to me that Dodge doesn’t make convertible Challengers. Now I realize I’ve never seen one before, but I guess I just sort of never realized there wasn’t a convertible version. Weird. If they sold a convertible version, I bet it would sell like hotcakes.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 03/05/2020 at 15:40

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You are not alone in that thought. I recall a post to that effect on the FP quite a while ago

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > AestheticsInMotion 03/05/2020 at 16:03

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I think we’re down to “Deadlocked Electoral College Vote” forces an Electoral Mulligan.

Wacko > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 03/05/2020 at 19:14

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Orange lads for the  win

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Wacko 03/05/2020 at 19:28

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Except that for President Trump, his Lada comes with ABS: Absolute BullS**t.

Wacko > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 03/05/2020 at 20:04

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Just noticed my autocorrect doesn’t like lada