![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:26 • Filed to: Might as well shitpost | ![]() | ![]() |
This entire time, I’ve been...
Canadian.
That’s right, I’ve been Canadian the whole time! Which means that in my spare time, I watch curling, enjoy nature, and complain about the snow even though I live in Saskatchewan.
Wait, everyone knew this?
Shit.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:32 |
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Lef-ten-ant Obvious.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:33 |
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Actually, in high school I obtained the rank of Captain Obvious. My second-in-command was Lieutenant Logic, who often had issues with my ideas.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:37 |
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I thought you came out of the freezer closet a long time ago?
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:38 |
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My entire life has been a lie.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:51 |
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![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:55 |
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Well that's where the smell of poutine and maple syrup is coming from.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:58 |
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The irony of this is that Tim Hortons is now owned by Restaurant Brands... a Canadian-American holding company. So... not 100% Canadian anymore.
For a coffee place more truly Canadian, you go to Second Cup, Coffee Time, Bridghead Coffee or Timothy’s.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 16:59 |
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I feel so betrayed... (so.. um.. can we come up and visit yet?)
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:01 |
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Border’s still closed.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:03 |
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Life ain’t easy for a male escort in Saskatchewan. But some Labatt and timbits certainly help.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:11 |
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How are you paid to be Canadian? The national NDP has never formed a government!
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:14 |
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So CB actually stand for Canadian Bacon?
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:15 |
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We’ll never know.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:22 |
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Silk long johns are a job perk too.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:24 |
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Just admit you're a remote sex worker.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:24 |
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Shit, that means I’m Canadian too. Oh god, we are the same.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:25 |
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With this rural Canadian internet? If only I could live such a life!
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:25 |
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It pays good but you can't really screen your clients... Every day is a new regret!
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:36 |
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Socialist !
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:41 |
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The Soviets win the Summit Series in the end
![]() 11/14/2020 at 17:46 |
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Just for that, I’m pressing the big red button
![]() 11/14/2020 at 18:52 |
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Your Japanese flag avatar never fooled anyone. :P
![]() 11/14/2020 at 19:10 |
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So, does this mean that you’re going to send me Timbits?
![]() 11/14/2020 at 21:13 |
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I’m a nobody. :(
![]() 11/14/2020 at 21:15 |
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Untrue! You’re an excellent writer, race car driver, and ... *squints at handwriting* porch enthusiast?
![]() 11/14/2020 at 21:19 |
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I think I reached peak Canada while on a mini-break in Quebec city: we were staying in the Chateau Frontenac, I
went
to get takeout poutine and
m
y wife was watching
curling on tv when
I got back...
![]() 11/14/2020 at 21:29 |
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I’m not even close to a Tim Hortons! It’s a 45 minute drive one way for me.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:27 |
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I gots gud parsh but can’t afford to fix and race it (...or anything). :( I’m so out of practice driving on track that it’s depressing. I really do feel like a nobody lately.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:32 |
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commanded by General Failure
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:32 |
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Awww. :’(
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:34 |
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That makes me sad to hear you say that. I want you to know that every single time you have ever come up in conversation, which has happened several times with several people, your writing is universally loved.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:57 |
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I hope you know that I’ve shared your writing and work with non-car people because it’s that good. I hope things start looking up soon, because you deserve it.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 22:57 |
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General Knowledge, actually. He also had issues with my ideas.
![]() 11/14/2020 at 23:03 |
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having issues with logic and knowledge, being Canadian...
you wouldn’t happen to be related to Seat Safety Switch, would ya?
...come to think of it i’ve never seen the two of you in the same room together...
![]() 11/14/2020 at 23:14 |
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I am unfortunately not that creative.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 00:55 |
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(I’m not crying, I’m not crying. Okay, I’m tearing up a little. That goes for CB’s comment, too. )
Aw, man. Thanks so much. Occasionally I just need to be slapped out of my doom-talk.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 00:56 |
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Wow. That’s pretty incredible. I feel so rusty lately that it’s unreal. Thank you. That means a lot.
(I’m still not crying, I’m not crying at all, nope.)
![]() 11/15/2020 at 01:09 |
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I assume some unnecessary “ s orry ”’s were said at some point during the day then. And you possibly held open a door.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 02:02 |
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Plot twist: CB is actually an a sentient acorn from southeastern Luxemburg .
![]() 11/15/2020 at 02:22 |
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Shhhhhhh
![]() 11/15/2020 at 02:34 |
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You can’t silence the truth.
But you can always try to smother it with a pillow in the middle of the night.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 02:35 |
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Gag orders also work.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 02:41 |
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Playing rough will cost you extra.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 07:41 |
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Sorry. We knew aboot you all along, eh .
![]() 11/15/2020 at 07:48 |
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No M ajor Issues, Petty Squabbles, Private Space or Corporal Punishment.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 09:24 |
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You are excellent at your craft, and as far as anyone can tell over the internet, you’re a good person too .
I’ll be on the hyphen if you ever want to talk. Or you can email me at woodshop00@gmail.com.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 11:30 |
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That’s aboot
right
![]() 11/15/2020 at 14:57 |
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See you there!
![]() 11/15/2020 at 15:11 |
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If I sent you Timbits would you still want them? T hey might be a bit stale by the time they get there.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 16:10 |
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Yeah, maybe don’t. People have tried before! They travel best in a box where they can kind of “breathe” like any other bread product, but that’s not a great idea ever, much less in the middle of a pandemic. You can seal them up, but then t hey get weirdly soggy in transport. There just isn’t a good way short of some kind of foodservice-grade frozen transport thing.
![]() 11/15/2020 at 16:54 |
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Great!