OPPOFood: The proper way to eat fries, burgers and hotdogs

"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich) 11/08/2020 at 12:00 • Filed to: None

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I declare that the proper way to eat fries is like this (malt vinegar and salt is optional. Mixing the ketchup with another condiment like mustard is also optional ) :

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The proper way to eat a hotdog or sausage is like this:

Graphic: Manwich knows what is yummy

(with Mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, hot peppers, bacon bits, olives, cheese and sauerkraut optional. BBQ sauce is an acceptable substitute for ketchup. )

And the proper way to burgers is like this:

(Not picured is the inclusion of either pickles or relish... having either one is a REQUIREMENT. But having both is better. BBQ sauce is an acceptable substitute for ketchup. Hot peppers, Cheese and bacon are optional.)

Taylor Martin > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:18

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That’s for reminding me it’s lunchtime.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:20

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Good fries don’t require condiments. If condiments are required, you are not consuming quality fries.

Or you need to admit that you’re treating fries like carrots and ranch, meaning the subpar fry is nothing more than a vessel to consume condiments.

facw > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:21

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This post is full of bad ideas.

Tohru > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:21

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why not just chug the ketchup?
also on a burger, cheese is mandatory

WilliamsSW > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:22

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This is highly offensive. Please remove or at least add a buffer image

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:24

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ketchup?

shit mate...samurai sauce is the way to go

subexpression > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:24

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I say h ot dogs may also be topped with cheese and salsa instead of ketchup and mustard.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > subexpression 11/08/2020 at 12:30

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I declare that Salsa is also an acceptable substitute for ketchup!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 11/08/2020 at 12:31

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I declare this sauce to be an acceptable substitute for Ketchup!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > WilliamsSW 11/08/2020 at 12:32

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Clearly you have trouble with DELICIOUS FOOD!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Tohru 11/08/2020 at 12:33

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Cheese is optional because some people need to keep their cholesterol down...

:-p

TheJWT > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:33

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Blue cheese dressing on fries is where it’s at

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > facw 11/08/2020 at 12:34

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And by ‘bad’, you mean AWESOME.

Just like when people today say “that looks sick”, they actually mean “that looks awesome!”

PowderHound > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:35

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I’m ok with this except for the lumping hotdogs and sausages in to the same condiment category. Yellow mustard, ketchup, relish, raw onions on hotdogs. Sausages get sauteed onions and peppers with some deli mustard or other sort of spicy mustard. no ketchup, maybe BBQ sauce.

Great, now I need some morning tater tots.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2020 at 12:35

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Good fries become AMAZING fries with condiments!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > TheJWT 11/08/2020 at 12:37

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Blue cheese dressing is an acceptable/desireable substitut e for mayo!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:39

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Ketchup is the steak sauce of fried confections: they have no place amongst edible food.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > PowderHound 11/08/2020 at 12:39

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Yeah I guess.  But it d epends on the type of sausage. If it’s regular cheap hotdog stand “sausage” that’s just a bigger glorified hotdog, then no.

But if it’s an awesome sausage from a farmers market or some gourmet store, then yes.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2020 at 12:42

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Steak sauce is also good... but I prefer Diana sauce!

CONDIMENTS FOR ALL FOOD!!!!

PowderHound > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:46

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well, yeah, ok.

VincentMalamute-Kim > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:48

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Now this is an excellent post clearly by a man of culture with good taste. Though the hot dog is missing a few condiments like a pickle spear.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:51

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I don’t own steak sauce, but if it were offered to me, I have just the place for it.

Tohru > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 12:55

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cholesterol is heart lubricant. you wouldn’t run an engine without oil in it, would you?
of course just like a car, every 3 months or so you have to change out 5 quarts and get a new filter. Red Cross has a great recycling program

WilliamsSW > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/08/2020 at 13:00

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I have trouble RUINING delicious food!

Ketchup is for bad (greasy, soggy) fries for me. Otherwise it’s salt and/or yellow mustard.

And as a Chicago area native, I'm supposed to be morally opposed to ketchup on hot dogs.  I'm not - but they're better without it imho. 

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > WilliamsSW 11/08/2020 at 13:16

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And food without condiments definitely ruins it!!!

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2020 at 13:35

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I agree, for the most part. A r eally good french fry just needs salt.

That said, even though I eat fries from my favourite chip wagon with no other condiments 95% of the time, every now and then I want a few dips of ketchup for that sweet kick.

I remember when I was really stoned in Amsterdam I also enjoyed having fries with mayo which is unusual in Canada/US, but I thought was alright. Then again, I’m usually not one to complain about food while under the influence of things.

barnie > PowderHound 11/08/2020 at 14:18

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Tater tots and chocolate syrup !

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2020 at 16:04

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Good carrots don’t require condiments. If condiments are required, you are not consuming quality carrots.

/This joke brought to you by Horses.
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Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 11/08/2020 at 16:07

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I just give ‘em a quick squirt with this bad boy.
And wet and wasteful like I’m working at a shop, I’m not talking about a nice, clean short burst like for home use babbbeeyyy

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' 11/08/2020 at 16:08

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Frick, I got Kinja’d.


I’m talking about WD40.

i86hotdogs > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/09/2020 at 06:16

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If you’re worried about cholesterol, probably shouldn’t be eating a burger anyways. I agree with Tohru. Cheese mandatory

i86hotdogs > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/09/2020 at 06:18

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The lack of honey mustard here is astonishing. Honey mustard (or dijon/spicy brown ) reigns supreme over yellow all day.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > i86hotdogs 11/09/2020 at 10:51

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“If you’re worried about cholesterol, probably shouldn’t be eating a burger anyways.”

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > i86hotdogs 11/09/2020 at 10:53

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And I also forgot to mention... Sweet with Heat mustard:

Honey mustard with some added kick.

i86hotdogs > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/09/2020 at 11:44

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Missed that. I need to stop posting at 6am

i86hotdogs > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 11/09/2020 at 11:45

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If that entices you, check out Mike’s Hot Honey. It’s my new staple condiment on everything