Draft: Is everyone incapable of naming SUVs these days?

"Kar Wai Wong" (kingawesome467) 11/11/2020 at 14:08 • Filed to: unfinished drafts, name, naming, Names, Car Names, Car naming, Naming Schemes

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! has been posting their   !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , I thought I’d join in with a few drafts I wasn’t planning on posting anyways. This one is around 95 % done. I started this in November 2019, expect typos, inaccuracies and incomplete sections, so not much difference from my regular posts.

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , but man, has there been an influx of bad names recently. I mean, these are all SUVs, which is probably less a thing of them not knowing how to find decent names for SUVs specifically, but more of of the fact that those are the only type of cars coming out these days. And alot of these may be tired arguments you’ve heard before, but, I just wanna rant, ok.

Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross

The poster child for bad naming decisions these days, I mean, do I really need to go over this? I just don’t understand why they had to use the name of their old sports car, at least with something like the Mustang Mach-E, the Mustang name is well-known enough to carry the whole car, but the Eclipse has none of that brand recognition. The people who care about the Eclipse name are pissed at Mitsubishi, and the main demographic for this car doesn’t give a shit. You could give it a regular-ass name and it wouldn’t affect sales, there are no upsides with this name!

Ford Puma

At least with Mitsubishi, they had the decency to add a Cross suffix to differentiate it from the regular Eclipse, but Ford gave no shits with re-using one of their old sports car names. Than again I do see a little resemblance between the two, and I did read something on how the original Ford Puma was a Fiesta based car aimed at the youth, and this new Puma is a Fiesta based crossover aimed at the youth, but it still an awful name.

Ford Mustang Mach-E

Enough has been said about the whole naming fiasco, although I’m interested in the general public’s response. It’s annoying, because its a huge taint on what otherwise looks like a pretty good car. Every time I see it, all I’m going to be able to think about is MUSTANG, MUSTANG, MUSTANG, and try as I must, I will never be able to divorce that from it. What about naming it something like the Ford Electro?! Electric themed and fits with your requirement of SUVs beginning with the letter E. Or the Ford Lightning? That has a connection with performance and trucks too!

Chevrolet Blazer

Man, the Wrangler is doing great, the new Bronco is coming, a proper Chevy Blazer comeback what the world needs! Instead we got an Equinox without a smaller ass. Alot of people seem to mention how the later Blazers were duds, and this just “continues the legacy”, but come on. Just because the Mustang II was a dud, doesn’t mean that it’s perfectly fine that the next (proper) Mustang is horrible too.

Chevrolet Trailblazer

What’s wrong with calling it the Trax?! The TrailBlazer was a proper body-on-frame SUV, as a sorta bigger 4 door counterpart to the S-10 Blazer. And a Colorado based SUV has been sold as the TrailBlazer in other markets since 2012, an instance of a good nameplate revival. But this isn’t truck-based, its just another example of GM lazily re-using old nameplates for unrelated models. Why does it share its name with a completely different car that is still on sale? Heck, the original use of the Trailblazer

Audi e-tron

Since 2008, Audi has been naming its electric models (mostly concept cars) with the suffix e-tron. There the A1 e-tron, A3 e-tron, R8 e-tron, etc.. So when they finally released their proper mainstream EV, they called it, just the e-tron? Isn’t that a bit confusing? It’s like if Jeep came out with a model called the Trailhawk, or if Chevrolet came out with a model called the SS. Oh wait... I know they’re trying to push this as the centrepiece halo model of the upcoming Audi e-tron lineup, but the confusion is already starting. The upcoming e-tron GT sounds like its a variation of this car, but its a completely different bodystyle. And in China, they’re getting an electric Audi Q2 L e-tron.

Mercedes-Benz EQC

OK, from what I can tell the crux of Mercedes’ new electric naming scheme is that they’re called EQ#, with the last letter representing the regular e. The EQV is the electric equivalent of the V-Class, the Concept EQA is the equivalent to the A-Class, so the EQC should be the electric equivalent to the C-Class. But it’s not, its electric equivalent is the GLC. So what happens when they make an electric counterpart to the C-Class? And you know its in the pipeline.

BMW iX (TBA)

Why

Mazda CX-30

This is one of my main disdains for alphanumeric naming, it puts you in a bind. Hmm, this car is smaller than the CX-5, but bigger than the CX-3, oh, and we already have a CX-4. What on earth are we going to name it? The CX-4 is only sold in China, and China aren’t getting this model, so just call it the CX-4! Or heres another idea, Mazda CX-45, implying the CX-5 as the CX-50, like extra zeroes after the decimal.

Mazda MX-30

This is what really told me Mazda doesn’t give a shit about their naming anymore. In fact, they’re getting rid of the proper names for their cars, like Demio, Axela and Atenza, for the awful worldwide Mazda2, Mazda3 and Mazda6 names. (I don’t actually mind that too much, as their SUVs have always had their CX- names in Japan, and this makes it much more consistent, but it still hurts) The MX name has always been used for sports cars (production cars at least), so what on earth is it doing here? Well, because the MX-30 is a very sPorTy car!

Notable Mentions:

Fiat 500X: Nothing mechanically related to the actual 500, but I’m more annoyed at the dishonesty. It can’t just be its own thing? 500L too, but that’s not an SUV.

Chrysler Pacifica: Not an SUV too, but why on earth is it named Pacifica? Are you really gonna fool buyers into thinking its an SUV, because it shares its name with an SUV that they stopped selling nearly a decade ago that nobody remembers? If they attempted to style it so that it resembles one, like a Mitsubishi Delica, or an OG Mazda MPV I could see it, but its not.

Bollinger B1: Ok, this isn’t really about the name of a specific model, but stop naming your models after the numerical order it came in! Cos once you have enough models, the numbers don’t mean anything! “Oh, the Volkswagen Type 4 must be bigger than the Volkswagen Type 2, because it’s a bigger number!” Down the line, all it will cause is confusion! That goes for you too Polestar and Lynk & Co!

Jaguar F-Pace: Ok, its mainly cos -Pace just sounds really stupid to me when it was announced, but I got used to it eventually.

Bentley Bentayga: No, I will never get over that awful name. its the Bentley Bentley!

Land Rover Defender:   Cos its not a Defender amirite?! Lollolololol Xdddd!

Anyone using the word Sport to mean smaller: That’s not what that word means.

Anyone using the word Cross or letter X for their crossovers: Which is everyone! Stop doing it, its overdone, oversaturated and makes every name look the same!

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This post was basically finished, but there were rumours that the production of the BMW Vision iNEXT would be called the iX, so I decided to wait until that was revealed first. But it took way longer than I expected, the moment passed, so I gave up on it.  

It got revealed today? Woooooooooowww....... Ahh, my eyes hurt...

Plus, although I did mention such, I felt like I was beating a dead horse. Don’t want to have so much negativity, you know. I also should’ve mentioned that the MX name may be due to to electric cars’ association with performance, because incredible acceleration = incredible to drive!

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 14:19

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The MX name has always been used for sports cars

Disagree, it’s been used for one sports car and two swoopy coupes. This continues the MX tradition of mediocrity.

dogisbadob > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 14:20

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They’re doing what Oldsmobile used to do with Cutlass

Also, the Eclipse Cross is a turbo AWD hatchback, so there’s that. Does it do the crankwalk too? :p

And yeah, too bad we don’t get the international Trailblazer.

Taylor Martin > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 14:46

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I mean, Mazda once named a car the Mazda MPV

It looks about as creative as it s name. Also, the CX-30 may be bigger than the CX-3, but both of those bad boys are super short (just barely over 5 feet)

Jb boin > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 14:47

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Not to mention that in French, an étron... is a turd.

Kar Wai Wong > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 11/11/2020 at 15:02

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Haha, later on I disproved myself .

Kar Wai Wong > Taylor Martin 11/11/2020 at 15:07

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I mentioned it in the post!

If they attempted to style it so that it resembles one, like a Mitsubishi Delica, or an OG Mazda MPV I could see it, but its not.

And Mazda later came out with 2 other MPV models, rendering the name obsolete, jeez Mazda is bad at names.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 15:31

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The Chevy Blazer is the one I mind the most. It doesn’t have even the slightest offroad pretensions so the name actually hampers buyer’s perceptions of what to expect! It’s not like if the Jeep Patriot had been the Wrangler Sport which probably would have increased sales. Like what if they made the Dodge Journey the Wrangler XL? That would be terrible and no one would look to it for a 7 passenger road car.

The Trailblazer I don’t mind. Like the original, it’s a stylish faux offroad alternative but just smaller than the prior one. Fits the name.

It’s what the market wants and the name has recognition. 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Taylor Martin 11/11/2020 at 17:39

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The MVP is at least a good description of the vehicle. 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 11/11/2020 at 17:40

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That least the MX3 and MX6 were actually trying to be sporty

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 17:42

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With the Camaro dying out Chevy will soon unveil the Tahoe X Camaro Sport Cross SS.

A smaller RWD 4 cylinder  turbo counterpart for the Tahoe.

Kar Wai Wong > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 11/11/2020 at 18:05

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I’m not American so I’m not all that familiar with the Trailblazer, so I don’t know, maybe being body-on-frame really isn’t that important to the Trailblazer name, maybe I could’ve researched that bit more if I planned to finish it.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Kar Wai Wong 11/11/2020 at 18:31

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No one off-roads a Trailblazer. That’s like off roading a Jeep Liberty. It simply isn’t done. It was a tall 4x4 or rwd utility vehicle that could haul the kids around. Basically like a smaller Tahoe. I mean no one is towing with these anyways but the previous was a decent pick for towing if you refused to get a Tahoe and the accompanying V8 torque. They were good looking and very dependable but I can’t say refinement was a high point.

They weren’t bad cars but they weren’t exactly rugged.

i86hotdogs > Kar Wai Wong 11/12/2020 at 08:48

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Hot take: I don’t mind the Mustang Mach-E name