The minimalist

"Just Jeepin'" (macintux)
11/08/2020 at 22:15 • Filed to: Road Trip

Note : I’ve been sitting on this piece for the last couple of weeks, unsure whether I wanted to risk negative consequences for the subject, given the rather dubious legality of his tinkering. I decided that if he’s going to be outed, it would be best for someone on FP to do a quality piece with his active involvement, so hopefully someone there will find this interesting enough. I’m still too clueless about automotive technology to do it justice.

Thus, Mark isn’t his real name. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out who he is, but feel free to not do so.

My part in this story started with a Grand Wagoneer, naturally. Mark’s started with a Pacer.

Mark runs a small business in North Carolina, near the Outer Banks. As he describes it, his business used to be so busy that cars would park along the road because his lot was full, but with his decline in health the business has similarly slowed down.

Fortunately, his zest for automotive insanity hasn’t.

Years ago, someone offered him a Pacer to pay off a $300 debt. As Mark puts it, it was an ugly green, an ugly design, and when he tried to sell it from his parking lot, no one was interested.

So Mark decided to make it interesting, and turned it into a beach buggy.

He started, naturally enough to this Jeeper, by removing the doors. Thus began a long-term obsession with chopping up cars.

Over the years he cut up several Pacers, removing the front, removing the back, the doors, adding steer horns...ok, that last is a bit of an anomaly, since his real obsession is removing everything he doesn’t need.

If I recall correctly, this is the car he drove to pick up the date who is now married to him. He said he had a nicer car, but figured there wasn’t much point to hiding who he really was.

The reason I stopped to meet Mark is his latest acquisition: a Grand Wagoneer for $600. Beautiful car originally, and with a very healthy frame, but the body has enough rust to give even David Tracy pause.

But Mark doesn’t care, because he’s going to cut it apart anyway. This is the latest of several Wagoneers he’s owned; regrettably he didn’t have any photos of the convertible he created out of one by chopping its top off. Very regrettably.

He said that another Wagoneer, similarly bereft of much of its bulk, managed about 20mpg going back and forth to cancer treatment.

After showing me many Pacer photos (you can see even more below), he started waxing enthusiastically about his Infiniti, then decided he’d take the Grand Wagoneer home so he could drive the Infiniti back to show off, then decided I should join him. I chose to follow him instead, because despite having never ridden in a Wagoneer, I was certain I wasn’t ready to die in one.

His yard is replete with marvels. He has nearly as many boats as cars; the boats are typically just as old, but with far fewer missing parts.

As he told me, the first major change when acquiring a new beater is to remove the fan, since it takes up so much space and adds so much weight. He tried to describe the cooling system on his !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , but even after seeing it I didn’t understand it. (It probably would have helped to ask questions, but by that point I was just too bemused by it all.)

Yes, that’s a giant pumpkin. His goats love it.

He described the Infiniti as weighing, he suspects, less than 2500 pounds, about a ton less than factory. It accelerates like a bat out of hell thanks to the massive weight reduction. He says just about every day he walks carefully around it and tries to think of what else he could remove.

See the gap between body and tires? It’s not lifted; that’s the stock suspension, relieved of all the extra weight.

Look at all that room under the hood!

The hole in the hood serves as a key part of the cooling system; as best as I can recall his description, by taping over the grill and forcing the air upwards it creates a low pressure area at the front of the hood, drawing air in. He said the hole really should have been farther forward, but you’d really have to ask him for the details, because I’m not the guy you want to relay details about ad hoc cooling systems (or really anything automotive).

When I stopped to inquire about the Grand Wagoneer, I was just pursuing my normal hobby of annoying people about Jeeps. I had no idea I was diving into such a rabbit hole, but I’m grateful that I did. It’s rare to meet someone with such an entertaining passion.

Now if I could just remember what remarkable feat he achieved with Gorilla Glue. I knew I should have recorded our conversation.

DISCUSSION (16)

AestheticsInMotion > Just Jeepin'
07/13/2019 at 20:38

This is good oppo

Just Jeepin' > AestheticsInMotion
07/13/2019 at 20:40

Thank you. He’s a really cool guy, I just wish I could have asked better questions about the work he’s done.

Chariotoflove > Just Jeepin'
07/13/2019 at 20:58

Good stuff. But you made sure all his brake lights still work, right?

Right?

Just Jeepin' > Chariotoflove
07/13/2019 at 21:00

As a matter of fact, I did indeed check both cars I followed (Grand Wagoneer & Infiniti) and both were fully braked-out.

phenotyp > Just Jeepin'
07/13/2019 at 21:13

This is great.

Just Jeepin' > phenotyp
07/13/2019 at 21:24

Thank you very much.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Just Jeepin'
07/14/2019 at 05:47

great read

arl > Just Jeepin'
07/15/2019 at 08:57

Great read, thanks!

Ready for an adventure! > Just Jeepin'
07/19/2019 at 09:55

JJ This is a great article...when are you goin back? ya KNOW he has more stories to tell. And then we can have closure with the Gorilla Glue....

Just Jeepin' > Ready for an adventure!
07/19/2019 at 09:57

Probably never. I always think I’ll go back to someplace I’ve enjoyed but there are too many new places to explore.

Ready for an adventure! > Just Jeepin'
07/19/2019 at 10:27

Ya know, that’s how I look at it too...we have such a HUGE country to explore. Good thinkin JJ!

Recovering Gaijin > Just Jeepin'
07/20/2019 at 11:33

Damnit, you reminded me of my intermittent obsession with a chopped-up Pacer I half remember from some silly post-apocalyptic ‘80s movie. IIrc, it was yellow, lifted on stereotypical ‘80s gold or black center/chrome barrel sport-truck wheels, had the rear chopped to look like a pickup complete with chrome mushroom-bar for the star to cling to heroically. I thought the movie was titled X-man, but searching only elicited X Men hits.

Oh, thanks for posting this( even if it means I spend the afternoon searching CL for Pacer shells ) : it's always fun seeing people get creative in the quest to manifest their visions

Just Jeepin' > Recovering Gaijin
07/20/2019 at 12:31

The only consolation is that this kind of vision quest (yours, not his) is so much easier than it would have been pre-web.

Recovering Gaijin > Just Jeepin'
07/22/2019 at 19:12

Easier?

Or just more dangerous? I don’t have a registered car atm, and am vacillating on what I should do. I can spend some time & money on my wagon’s front end, ditch the rear hydraulics/ weld in shock mounts, and just cruise. But I put about 3k/ month on the work van, so I’m sick unto death of automatic transmissions. I need something 3-pedal, lightweight, and tossable —or something good & strange. Like a Pacer I could lift and insert a Jeep 4.0 in....huh, wonder if a Cherokee 5-speed would fit in that trans tunnel.....

Taylor Martin > Just Jeepin'
11/09/2020 at 12:20

When I first looked at a Pacer, I didn’t think beach buggy. Clearly this guy has an eye for things most normal people can’t see.

The Infiniti is awesome too, did he every blast that thing down drag strips?

Just Jeepin' > Taylor Martin
11/11/2020 at 00:17

I’m sure he could have, but somehow drag racing didn’t seem his style.