In memoriam of OG Oppo, here's my most successful shitpost ever:

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 11/13/2020 at 09:46 • Filed to: None

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Original title: AARRRGGGHHH! FACTUAL INACCURACIES!

In an episode of Parks and Rec, Ron Swanson states that he’s driven the same car since 1991. On multiple occasions his car has been shown to be a second gen Park Avenue, which was launched in 1997.

E. Julius > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 18:55

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This image is really making me miss America right now.

StoneCold > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 18:55

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Yes, I also found this maddening.

dogisbadob > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 18:56

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Well sometimes 1's look like 7's, and GM does use the same old tech for decades :p

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 19:05

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He's not wrong, bud light is terrible.

For Sweden > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 19:07

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The only reason to drink Bud Light is if Glorious High Life is not available

Agrajag > E. Julius 02/08/2015 at 19:12

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Meanwhile...

chuck07 > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 19:12

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if you are going to drink you may as well drink champagne. That's why my fridge is full of High Life.

XJDano > E. Julius 02/08/2015 at 19:14

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It was nice today. I BBQed brats with foil packs of asparagus & sweet potatoes. Drank a beer while cooking.

#nothelping

When do you come back?

factsonly1 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:14

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You do realize his claim is meant as comedy because the lie is so blatant, right? Eek... You should not be watching comedy shows.

For Sweden > chuck07 02/08/2015 at 19:15

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Exactly. If you are going to have a budget beer, you might as well drink one that actually tastes good.

Also:

Abject_Penitent > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:16

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Mr swanson constructed that himself with metal and brawn in 1991.

ranwhenparked > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:16

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Maybe he means he's driven Park Avenues since 1991, but not the same exact one.

Either that, or a wizard did it.

E. Julius > Agrajag 02/08/2015 at 19:16

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Hey it won't be that sunny until at least, like, March! ; )

Looking at that barbecue though… mmmm I could go for a pulled pork sandwich or some brisket.

Charley V > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 19:17

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You're right. Water is much better than bud light and therefore would never need to lie.

sadfasdf > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 19:19

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Miller High Life tastes like baking soda.

MK6GTI-now with added Miata > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:19

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You think he'd actually show us his real car?

Why do you think he only showed one of his cabins? His name may not even be Ron Swanson.

Mightygood > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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Parks & Rec now wiped from my watch list. What a shame.

LodestarRunner > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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Coors Heavy.

Bubs > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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It's like sex in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.

E. Julius > XJDano 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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Haha that is NOT helping. I'll have to console myself with some with some delicious pastries tomorrow! I come back at the end of May so I've still got plenty of time to enjoy Paris/Europe. Haven't been in the states six months though so I'm starting to miss the little things. My girlfriend did bring me an entire pizza from a local place when she visited last month, maybe I can get my parents to bring me a tupperware container full of pulled pork or something.

For Sweden > sadfasdf 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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-1

Doctor-G-and-the-wagen > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:20

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If he's anything like the typical Park Avenue driver, he's probably a touch senile...

Chatham Harrison dba SPANFELLER DELENDUS EST > Abject_Penitent 02/08/2015 at 19:21

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GM was so impressed, they stole his design.

For Sweden > LodestarRunner 02/08/2015 at 19:22

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k

The Devil Drives a Mustang (Rotary Pending) > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 19:26

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This is a fine excuse to post this:

Paullubbock > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:32

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If Ron is any kind of rugged outdoors, hunting man, he should be driving a 4-wheeled truck or similar, not grandmas Park Avenue. But then again, he really isn't much more than a rough and cranky office worker.

Schaefft > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:33

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In Jumanji, when Robin Williams asks the cop which year it is after jumping on his Caprice's hood , the cop answers "The car is brand new". The movie was set in 1995, but the Caprice was a '91!!!

Zohaibman72 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:37

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In Community, one of the characters, Jeff, drives a Black 2nd Gen Lexus IS 350. It's shown on screen and called by name multiple times.

In a episode a car alarm is going off, Jeff wonders if its his car

Abed says it is Jeff's car, recalling an incident similar the happened in 2002

Jeff says it is not his car

Abed then asks, if its a 2002

Jeff reacts and runs to his car.

2nd gen wasn't made until 2005.

I hate when shows mess up their cars :(

Obscure Drives > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:37

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I thought I was the only person who had ever noticed this.

Zohaibman72 > Schaefft 02/08/2015 at 19:39

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another cop car movie mistake, If you watch Wolf Of Wall Street, which takes place in the early 90s. DiCaprio's character is being dragged to a brand new Ford Crown Vic Interceptor.

Iwaswonderofwonders > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:40

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Scrape > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:41

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Well, to be fair, these shows are on NBC...a network known for its factual inaccuracies, particularly in its "news" division, but spread throughout all of its programming.

duramax > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:41

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Im so happy Im not the only one who gets irritated about that stuff. In Detroit they play an ad for a used car lot saying "we'll put you in a model year 2009 or newer!" yet the cartoon in the advertising is CLEARLY a fox body mustang. /rant

Hobbes.drives.an.A5 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:45

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Hmmm, I'll see your 6 year historical inaccuracy and raise you three decades...

Schaefft > Zohaibman72 02/08/2015 at 19:47

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Just remembered, there are parts of the movie Lord of War that play in New York of the late 80s/early 90s, Nicolas Cage is driving around in a '93+ Fleetwood stretch limo which wasn't built back then.

 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:47

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Yea well in Super Troopers they call Crown Vic a Caprice.

interrogator-chaplain > Hobbes.drives.an.A5 02/08/2015 at 19:48

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Wait, what?! Is that seriously from Dallas Buyers Club?!

Aliens Ate My Buick > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:48

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For automotive (and general) inaccuracies galore, nothing tops Scorpion.

Cabe Gallo apparently owns the only 1973 LeMans without the "collonade" body style:

.....and in another episode, Toby seems to possess the only Buick-branded "Monte Carlo" convertible ever made.

Hobbes.drives.an.A5 > interrogator-chaplain 02/08/2015 at 19:49

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Yep. Ridiculous, but true. Actually spoiled the movie for me!

Blane Alexander Schwindt > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:50

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THIS IS THE SHIT THAT GRINDS MY GEARS. when they dub the wrong car sounds. E92 M3, E60 M5 sound... fuck the editors.

stevecmh > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:50

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well he could have had the first Gen.. Then bought a second Gen.. Still driving a Park Avenue.

tobythesandwich > Scrape 02/08/2015 at 19:56

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that was a bit of a stretch there.

Break-Mend-Continue > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 19:59

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I drive my wife nuts finding errors like this. :)

In two hours I am taking my 74 Beetle to a set where it will be used in a telemovie set in 1980.

Yes, I am completely serious. My old cars have been used in films before. Apparently this time they are changing all the plates and the registration labels on the windscreens to correct for the period. Otherwise they have pedants like me write in and complain.

Sn210 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:01

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in Dexter, the sister wrecks her e46 3 series. When they go look at the car at the junkyard, they look at an e36

classbutnostile > LodestarRunner 02/08/2015 at 20:04

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The Banquet. A word synonymous with celebration cast away long ago. Yet, connotatively evokes a much more robust event than any "party". Banquets or nothing. Let's change the future.

John The Race Fan > The Devil Drives a Mustang (Rotary Pending) 02/08/2015 at 20:06

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Thanks, Bruce.

classbutnostile > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 20:07

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Just so we are all same-page, Coors Light freezes first in a walk-in cooler due to the highest water content. Still, I hate Bud Light more. Just wanted to bring facts to the trial.

BarryJT > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 20:09

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As mass marketed swill goes, High Life is not half bad.

InterceptingJensen > MK6GTI-now with added Miata 02/08/2015 at 20:12

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I mean, he has redacted almost all his history.

lonestranger > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 20:15

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Counterpoint:

metroidzer0 > StoneCold 02/08/2015 at 20:19

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Only problem is this quote too is a factual inaccuracy. He actually refers to skim milk.

Daniel Fleck > LodestarRunner 02/08/2015 at 20:21

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The banquet beer for the win.

Thedude > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:24

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You made a time machine... out of a Park Avenue?!

Gavin S. > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:29

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Do any of these people strike you as someone who knows a thing about cars? As an aside, I had no idea Mose from The Office was a writer for P&R.

Anon > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:37

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He also drives a truck in at least one other episode. Maybe that's what he's taking about?

Rob Blue > Scrape 02/08/2015 at 20:38

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I do believe you're thinking of "Fox."

472CID > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:38

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I always thought it was weird that he had a Park Ave. I mean, when I imagine what a Park Ave driver looks like Ron Swanson certainly fits the bill, but he seems like the kinda a guy that wouldn't go for useless luxuries found in a Buick. His Ford F150 seems much more inline with his character.

WingaDingaDingaDingaDinga > Hobbes.drives.an.A5 02/08/2015 at 20:38

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I know it sounds incredibly petty and I'm not knocking the film itself, but, HOW HARD WAS IT TO FIND A COUNTACH POSTER?? They managed to find one for fucking 22 Jump Street, the props department has no excuse for that. They were just being lazy.

Redbulldidlo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:47

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I'm not sure about when the statement was made, but it could instead be referring to his truck.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Redbulldidlo 02/08/2015 at 20:48

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The episode where Leslie wins the election for council. I think it was a season or two before we ever saw the truck.

totalrunout > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 20:54

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This statement could still be true (albeit very up for debate on semantics) if he did not obtain the car until 1997 and prior to that point he did not possess a vehicle.

bryanska > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 21:01

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SO much beer money in 80s racing.

miketata > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:01

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So it's a TV show! So the Brady bunch staircase goes the wrong way. So?

matt > sadfasdf 02/08/2015 at 21:04

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Blood and nickels

promoted by the color red > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:04

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So are you also going to ignore the fact that Leslie's Honda Civic changes from blue to silver for no reason whatsoever?

SaRcAsTiMoDe: ON > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:10

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Maybe he has driven a Buick Park Avenue since 1991? Seeing as Buick no longer offers one then perhaps this is why he has stayed with his old 2nd generation model? If only he would go for a LaCrosse?

SmugAardvark > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:11

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How can we talk about automotive screw-ups in movies without discussing Sully's self-healing Porsche from Commando ?

Son of a bitch rolls the car onto it's side, then gets promptly dropped off a cliff by Matrix. In true Schwarzenegger fashion, he rolls the 911 back onto its wheels, and drives away with nary a scratch on the car.

Scrape > tobythesandwich 02/08/2015 at 21:11

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No, it really isn't. They also own MSNBC, too.

Scrape > Rob Blue 02/08/2015 at 21:12

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Nope. NBC. Remember, they also own MSNBC, which can even get the time of day correct.

Art > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:12

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first off this show is terrible, end of...

F1guy hates duck billed F1 cars > Hobbes.drives.an.A5 02/08/2015 at 21:14

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Same. I loved the film, but when I saw the Aventador, I literally screamed "oh come on!" after that I lost focus on the plot.

It's such a glaring, glaring mistake, and it's not a quick pickup shot either. It's there for an entire scene.

Rand0nS > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:20

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You are obviously incorrect. Ron Swanson made Buick give him a 2nd gen Park Avenue before they were created.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > promoted by the color red 02/08/2015 at 21:22

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I could have sworn it morphed into an Insight in one episode too.

xxstich666xx > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:28

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Ah lack of a hood ornament. That can only mean one thing. That this is a actually a Park Avenue Ultra with a Supercharged 3800 V6.

ranwhenparked > Scrape 02/08/2015 at 21:28

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Meh, no better or worse than other mainstream TV news. Dateline NBC made up a fake story about GM gas tanks exploding, but CBS' 60 Minutes lies about Audis suddenly accelerating without intent.

Frenchlicker > Doctor-G-and-the-wagen 02/08/2015 at 21:29

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He knows where all the gold is buried so it doesn't matter.

Justin > Hobbes.drives.an.A5 02/08/2015 at 21:29

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I caught the Aventador right away the first time I watched that movie. At least the examples above are somewhat subtle, but the aventador in Dallas buyers club really chapped me.

west-coaster > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:43

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In Ocean's Eleven (the remake, not the original) Edward Norton's character talks about missing his "1953 Thunderbird."

Um...no.

718Rogue > sadfasdf 02/08/2015 at 21:45

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BAKING SODA I GOT BAKING SODA!

shop-teacher > Schaefft 02/08/2015 at 21:48

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The one that bugs me, is in Super Troopers. When they call in the plate number of the local cops' car, it comes back as a Chevy Caprice. All the cop cars in that movie were Crown Vics.

Grim99CV > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 21:49

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If I'm too broke to drink craft beer (IPA's are my choice), I usually get Rolling Rock or Trader Joe's Simpler Times.

stevegravelle > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:51

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Damn, another case of useless knowledge ruining entertainment. Try being a train nerd and watching any movie with a "vintage" setting filmed in the last 30 years.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > stevegravelle 02/08/2015 at 21:54

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You are aware there is a Kinja blog for trains, right?

Scrape > ranwhenparked 02/08/2015 at 21:57

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They are all pretty bad, in actuality. But NBC is the worst, and has been for some time. Once CBS got rid of Rather after he faked the GW Bush military service docs, they had to clean up their act. NBC just doesn't care.

Volante3192 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 21:59

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Wait, Parks and Rec is a documentary?! How dare they lie to me!!

Volante3192 > stevegravelle 02/08/2015 at 22:02

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"Well, this obviously isn't a documentary, maybe in addition to having actual alien invasions the development of trains was slightly accelerated in this parallel universe."

That usually works for me.

LastScene86 > For Sweden 02/08/2015 at 22:04

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PBR challenges for the Cheap Beer Flavor Savor.

MoparOrNoCar (Okay, maybe a Mazda?) > xxstich666xx 02/08/2015 at 22:04

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That's a negative. There were non-ultras without them too, especially in later years ('02 onward it seems). It appears to be a normal Park Ave.

Grim99CV > Schaefft 02/08/2015 at 22:04

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In an episode of the first season of The Wire a whale style Crown Vic (98+) pulls into an alley. It later gets torched and the burned remains are that of am aero style Crown Vic (97-). As a 99 owner, kinda stood out to me.

LastScene86 > Grim99CV 02/08/2015 at 22:05

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+1 for Rolling Rock, my PBR alternative for a nice crisp pilsner.

YSSMAN > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:14

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He had a truck, too:

Semantics, yes, but could explain some things.

FancyTech > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:19

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this also applies to aircraft on tv/film.. 747 seen at the gate, dc-9 interior, 737-400 taking off, 767 interior for in air scenes, 727 cockpit, A340 on arrival, deplane interior is back to dc-9 and plane at gate is a 777. I will also toss in wrong liveries and such.

Ruin's the film for me.

SharonNeedles > LodestarRunner 02/08/2015 at 22:23

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Colorado Kool-aid.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:24

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and after a while every vehicle becomes a VW.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > chuck07 02/08/2015 at 22:25

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The first time I drank more than one beer I was drinking High Life. I got so "wasted" that night. I had like 7 beers, oh to be a kid again.

1968 Falcon - 264,600 miles and still rusting > 472CID 02/08/2015 at 22:29

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Yup. This one pretty much.

DoogieFullHouser > Sn210 02/08/2015 at 22:34

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That one was pretty bad.

My British German car wasn't that reliable, is now dead > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:37

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If you really want to throw something at the tv, go fire up brick mansions on Netflix. There's a chase scene with a newish mustang, but all the interior shots are of some old van. Later there's a chase scene with that van, but all the interior shots are of the mustang. And despite both vehicles being automatics, the drivers are constantly making the shifting motion.

boobytrapsandtreasure > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:51

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Ron is known for bullshitting if it serves his purpose. Think of him as having a ulterior motive for lying about the car thing and enjoy the show.

Aleksey > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/08/2015 at 22:52

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I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume a ship of Theseus scenario. It's the same drivetrain but a different body, possibly to foil federal surveillance.