The New Me

"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
10/27/2020 at 21:20 • Filed to: THE GREAT RENAMING

My dearest Opponauts,

I hereby notify yon denizens of OppositeLock, LALD, et al that in order to better line up with... stuff and also because I no longer believe in using anything resembling a name on these unsavory webs, I am #rebranding. Thus, the occasional automotive enthusiast, sometime spicy Beetle aficionado, and raccoon antagonist heretofore called TFritsch shall henceforth be known as...

RallyWrench

Going forward, as a matter of policy, RallyWrench would like it known that all raccoons can get fucked. This is non-negotiable. Rallywrench also wishes to fire the heavy darkness of depression straight into the goddamn sun. Also, it is RallyWrench’s general belief that bicycles are better than cars and people, but when he enjoys people, it is only in the context of bicycles and cars. That said, RallyWrench is not entirely sure why he likes cars at the moment, and wishes to admit that he harbors impure thoughts of giving up and selling everything because there is never time or money and rarely motivation, interest, or justification for such things these days. Concurrently, RallyWrench admits that a 15 year old Tacoma and perhaps a Civic Si would suit his purposes of vision quests in the mountains and schlepping to work Just Fine until he dies of boredom and apathy.

To summarize, RallyWrench likes pizza and beer and bicycles and clean air and water and mountains and music and you guys and sometimes when the wind is just right and the sound of a lone engine sings in the wind, he remembers wistfully what it was like to love cars with his whole being and wonders what might have been, where it went. He knows the answer, is the answer. In this moment of this fucking endless year, RallyWrench dreams of nothing greater than restoring broken body and mind, to be physically and mentally able to achieve joy. To bear a backp ack, don boots & flannel and get the fuck lost in the Sierra Nevadas somewhere for awhile. Nothing more than moving through nature, sitting on rocks near clear rivers, under a billion stars, making peace with his own mind. But mostly, Rallywrench greets you anew, wishes you balance and peace, hopes for your health and well-being, and looks forward to seeing you around.

DISCUSSION (44)

PowderHound > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:30

So is RallyWrench, née TFritsch a hipster?

“likes pizza and beer and bicycles… To bear a backback, don boots & flannel”

Also, Fuck Raccoons.

Kinja'd!!!

Jb boin > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:31

=> RallyWreck

fintail > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:32

Kinja'd!!!

wafflesnfalafel > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:47

there are CEOs that get paid millions of dollars to do what you just did

functionoverfashion > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:48

1. I agree that bikes are excellent

2. I’m sure you still have the Porsche and will always have it until such time as our planet is absorbed by the Sun and no sooner

3. Cheers, take care and get outside, that’s where it’s at these days, and always

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 21:49

So...what I hear you saying is that you liked my username so much you just ripped it off? :P

In seriousness, great little write-up friend. I know the feeling...I still love cars, but some recent rust issues with my Accent stemming from some shoddy past rust repairs and that little fender bender I had way back in 2015 mean I lost my enthusiasm a bit as costs to keep the rust at bay on that part of Humdrum have been high this year and with COVID = not job income, it’s not easy :/

66P1800inpieces > PowderHound
10/27/2020 at 22:14

Thank you. I had to see that clip. Better in Canadian.

RallyWrench > PowderHound
10/27/2020 at 22:14

Hey I’ve liked pizza and bicycles and flannel since I was a kid in the 80's. So , you know, before it was cool. No skinny jeans or smurf beanies for me. ;)

RallyWrench > Jb boin
10/27/2020 at 22:15

An unfortunate truth.

RallyWrench > wafflesnfalafel
10/27/2020 at 22:18

I mean, I’d take the money, but they’re overpaid.

RallyWrench > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
10/27/2020 at 22:41

I was getting pretty jealous of the Rally name ;) This lines up with my only other internet presence on Instagram.

Thanks, I feel the looming cloud of automotive apathy heavily at times. Costs, Covid, volatile income, and several other reasons keep me from enjoying that which I once loved. Hope it looks up and you can find your enthusiasm again soon too.

Chariotoflove > RallyWrench
10/27/2020 at 22:45

You could have renamed to TrashPandaNemesis. But no, you had to change from T to R. Okay, fine. Duly noted.

RallyWrench > Chariotoflove
10/27/2020 at 23:20

Oh, that's good... Now I'm rethinking it. Since kinja mobile actually won't let me change it right now anyway, maybe I'll have to edit this whole dang thing.

RallyWrench > functionoverfashion
10/28/2020 at 00:50

Bikes, always.

Sometimes I’m not so sure about the Porsche, I straight up fear breaking it . Time will tell.

Need more outside, always. Much more, and cheers to that.

Stef Schrader > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 02:49

The parsh is meant to be enjoyed. If it breaks mid-enjoyment, that’s fine. That’s to be expected.

Stef Schrader > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 02:50

There’s a commenter on The Drive that’s just a raccoon with internet access. That’s the name: “Raccoon with internet access.” You may harm all other raccoons but that one. That one is fine.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 07:50

If you sell that Parshe, I will find a way to get to Cali and smack you upside the head boy. The money will be gone in approximately 8 seconds, and then you won't have a that amazing car with an incredible story.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 07:52

Ok, but just remember that I may now forget who you are, because there is only so much information I can squeeze into my feeble mind.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 09:38

That’s a great photo.

I’m glad to know you, my friend. Hope we get to tip a beer together one day.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stef Schrader
10/28/2020 at 09:39

LOL

stuckMTB > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 10:09

Yay bikes, yay (some) cars, and fuck racoons. Excellent manifesto. Get well soon!

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 11:11

I’ve felt it encroaching, but it’s never really hit me... I just keep reminding myself that I’ll have a small FIAT 126 in my garage someday...keeps me going!

RallyWrench > Stef Schrader
10/28/2020 at 12:19

Noted, they may live. If a raccoon is smart enough to gain internet access, it has probably evolved past wanton destruction of cyclists and trash cans.

RallyWrench > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
10/28/2020 at 12:28

A 126 would keep me going too! They seem so joyful, and they don’t exist here. Either that or a Panda. I can find happiness in cars like that. You’ll get there!

RallyWrench > Stef Schrader
10/28/2020 at 12:48

It’s the cost of parts that constantly hangs over me. I can do all the work, but I straight up can’t afford parts. Especially if I hurt the engine somehow, that’s game over . .

RallyWrench > shop-teacher
10/28/2020 at 13:10

It’s something I think about more lately . I don’t know that I will, or w hat the money would go for . Stupid house, kids’ college, a camper truck or van, nonexistent retirement, Lancia parts ... I love the car and its story, but I feel like maybe I’m not in its best interests and can’t use it properly because I just don’t have the kind of life or mind that allows it . The feeling comes and goes.

RallyWrench > shop-teacher
10/28/2020 at 13:11

I often forget who I am too, so no worries. Hopefully you’ll remember when I don’t, and vice versa. ;)

RallyWrench > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/28/2020 at 13:14

Same, I still look forward to it. If there’s one thing I want to do with this stupid car, it’s a monster road trip.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 13:17

stupid cars = good

road trips = good

monster road tri ps = very good

monster road trips in stupid cars = very, very good

Just consider all the miles you ride on your bike put away in “savings” for this epic road trip.

RallyWrench > stuckMTB
10/28/2020 at 13:22

Thanks! Recovery sucks but I’ll take broken bones over head injury or worse. It’s given time to think, maybe too much. Need to balance out the cars with more bike time.

RallyWrench > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/28/2020 at 13:53

Road trips in boring cars are too easy and comfortable , there has to be some hardship or nonzero probability that you won’t make it.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 14:01

Haha! Even Mrs. addiction’s MDX needed an O’Reilly’s parking lot repair (corroded battery connection kludge fix) on our two-week, 5000+ mile western road trip a few years back.

And its V6 did howl pretty well at full throttle... but man, would’ve loved to have my M3 on some of the roads we traveled!

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 14:31

Yup! Slowly but surely! I also want a Piaggio Ape, because I am broken :P

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 14:47

I think you’re exactly the right person. You’re the person who looked after it for years. The person who’s widow made sure you had the opportunity to buy it at a fair price. No other asshole could be more perfect to own that car.

Every time I’ve sold a car to get sometime else, or to be more adult, the money is gone I don’t know where in an instant and now I don’t have my toy anymore.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 14:47

These days I’m often not even sure which way is up :)

RallyWrench > shop-teacher
10/28/2020 at 15:17

I’m its asshole, I suppose. Thanks for the confidence, my friend. Weird times bring weird thoughts.

I know I’d kick myself forever if I sold it, because there is surely no way I would be able to own another one. It’s not even that I want something else, it’s simply a battle in my mind to justify its presence in my life. As I said in the piece I wrote about the car originally, there’s a whole bunch of reasons I can’t square it up. But I’ll keep trying. When I do enjoy it, and my mind frees me to do so, I really enjoy it.

Stef Schrader > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 15:46

Oof, I know that feeling.

CaptDale - is secretly British > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 21:19

I can get behind these ideas. Rallywrench for president!

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/28/2020 at 21:51

You are most definitely that car’s asshole :)

I completely understand the feelings you’re feeling. I deal with them too . I remember talking about them on that original post . It’s OK for dad to have something nice, that makes him happy. Obviously, if your kids were hungry or cold, that would be another story. But if that was the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The car would already be gone.

Promise me one thing. If you ever decide to sell it, contact me first. Not so I can buy it, because I sure as hell can’t afford it. So I can try and talk you out of it. You and that car belong together.

RallyWrench > shop-teacher
10/29/2020 at 13:10

I’ll promise that, a little positive reinforcement never hurt.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
10/29/2020 at 15:13

Good! :)

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
11/03/2020 at 10:26

Ahem...

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

• Car knowledge gotta be deeper than sheetmetal
• Early-career writers welcome BUT this aint journalism camp
• Part-time, contract deal initially
• v good chance of becoming full-time if you’re good
• do NOT need to be NYC, Los Ang, or any major metro

RallyWrench > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
11/03/2020 at 14:08

Well that’s intriguing, thanks for the tip. I ain’t been to journalism camp but maybe fill out the application for fun and see what happens.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
11/03/2020 at 14:13

YES - make sure to share the Best of RallyWrench.