This agent thinks a liiiiittle too much of their photography. Plus bonus rage content for those who don't want to pay half a million dollars to live in a bungalow in Everett.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
10/12/2020 at 19:43 • Filed to: Houses

So here’s the home. Couldn’t be more humble looking at first glance. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! had 37 photos, and a lot of them look like this:

Taking bad artsy photos of staging props when you’re trying to sell a home is not impressive! Bottom line is they basically ran out of stuff to photograph. Why? Because: It’s a freaking 1,100 square foot bungalow!

Aaaaaand not only that, but it has been listed for sale THRICE since 2017.

I actually looked at this home back in 2017 long after it went pending (I used to love — and then eventually, hate — looking at any homes nearby for sale). Now, two sets of hands later, it’s got the spit-shine flip package and dubious history.

Nice street and area — as far as my beloved Everett goes — but ahhhhhh no. $500k...

DISCUSSION (56)

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 19:45

There’s a time and place for artsy photos. Selling a house is generally not the time or the place.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 19:49

I'll go 2 50k, and still feel like I'm getting ripped off.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 19:53

Wow. That's depressing

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 19:55

Is this how rich hipsters make coffee now? I’m so behind the times.

Longtime Lurker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 19:58

Pretentious.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:04

1985 selling price, probably 50K. But yeah, young people today have it easy.

The sky in the lead pic is also likely doctored - the real estate cabal in the Seattle metro loves to retouch the sky, to hide reality:

Kinja'd!!!

For Sweden > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:19

Just wait out the post-787 housing crash

Textured Soy Protein > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:24

My reaction is roughly, hey at least it has a garage unlike most of the similarly sized and priced houses here in DC.

Cash Rewards > Textured Soy Protein
10/12/2020 at 20:27

In Northern Virginia the house would sell for a little bit more, then get bulldozed for the lot

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:29

Kinja'd!!!

I’m not buying unless it comes with the vegetables laid out exactly like that.

The Snowman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:32

You’re just a cranky crab. I agree that I don’t like the photos but fact is this photography style sells houses. So many wives have pinterest boards full of this stuff.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:34

A similar house sold 2 blocks from me for 700k. I get mailers weekly saying “we buy houses with cash”. I thought our economy was in bad shape.

Spaceball-Two > fintail
10/12/2020 at 20:36

My dad jokes that he paid more for his last truck than he did for his first house in Kirkland mid 70s.

Textured Soy Protein > Cash Rewards
10/12/2020 at 20:36

That’s certainly on the table in MoCo as well but the bulldozing depends on the neighborhood.

SiennaMan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 20:44

In my neck of the woods that’s a $150-160 k house and that's with prices in my town being inflated..

Dr.Jeckyl > SiennaMan
10/12/2020 at 20:52

My old neighborhood that would be $80, 000 but only get $75,000 cause our agents don’t take artsy photos.

SiennaMan > Dr.Jeckyl
10/12/2020 at 20:58

Yeah, now that you mention it they don't take the artsy pics for those houses here either.. must be part their problem, eh? ;-)

Dr.Jeckyl > SiennaMan
10/12/2020 at 21:07

I’m always amazed at home prices in different areas. I just read an article about an uninhabitable sub 1000 square foot home go for over $500,000 in San Francisco.

Cash Rewards > Textured Soy Protein
10/12/2020 at 21:08

Ive seen 0.9 acre lots posted for a even million. It’s out of control

getFuckedHerb > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:11

I was so chuffed I got $135/sq ft... just think.

Beefchips > Spaceball-Two
10/12/2020 at 21:14

In PDX there’s pretty low inventory in the housing market at the moment. That’s propping up prices. A lot of people put moving plans on hold cause they didn’t know if they’d have a job in 6 months’ time. I bet it’s similar in Seattle area.

lone_liberal > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:16

Looks like it might be a cute little bungalow, though you can’t really tell from the pictures. What it isn’t is a $500k house to me, but what do I know?

Tripper > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:27

Our neighborhood is the same way. Tiny little cape cods....we bought 5.5 years ago and have nearly doubled our money. All of our neighbors have flipped their houses multiple times during our time here.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:27

Fuck brah that is cheap now. My mom bought her place back home in Hawaii for $149k and now similar places around her are going for $800k. I’m in the Bay Area now, you can’t get a condo where I am for that.

barnie > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:33

Buy a boat and stick it in the water. Cheapest place to get a boat is out of a tree. With decent hull and bilge pumps, all else is possible. And if the neighbors bother ya , go somewhere else! And it gets better from here...

ranwhenparked > fintail
10/12/2020 at 21:35

Which works out to about $120,000 today, which is close to what new construction starter homes go for around where I live. Put down a deposit on a $129,000 townhome in a new HOA community about 2 years ago, but took it back within 24 hours, because it was in a new HOA community.

Spaceball-Two > Beefchips
10/12/2020 at 21:47

My last job was lending in PDX and yeah that market dried up quick!

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 21:48

By that math, my house alone is worththe equivalent of US$615,000 without taking into account the very large shed and the 100 acres within which it sits . Given it’s actually worth around US$290,000 if we could find someone to buy it then...yeah...city prices anywhere are nuts.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/12/2020 at 22:40

It’s not that I can’t imagine paying $438 per square foot for the right house, it’s just that the right house isn’t an 1100 square foot bungalow in Everett that, despite what the listing says, cannot possibly have that great a view if the listing agent photographed an onion instead.

RPM esq. > ranwhenparked
10/12/2020 at 22:43

That town home you put a deposit on would be $450k around the corner from this one and $750k 20 miles south.

RPM esq. > Cash Rewards
10/12/2020 at 22:45

Probably 50/50 odds that’s what happens here.

RPM esq. > SiennaMan
10/12/2020 at 22:46

It’s $750k in Seattle all day, and probably gets knocked down to build a 3000-square- foot “ modern” box that sells for $1.1 million.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
10/12/2020 at 22:48

That picture is the only onion that makes you cry before you chop it

RPM esq. > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
10/12/2020 at 22:49

What’s crazy is that is the price for a distant (but very pleasant) suburb...if it was in Seattle it would probably be asking $750k, mostly just for the big lot.

camarov6rs > Spaceball-Two
10/12/2020 at 22:50

Word on the street is that real estate is the stock market for hard assets. So it’s basically mostly wealthy people buying on speculation or flippers with cash selling to speculators so they can rent

ranwhenparked > RPM esq.
10/12/2020 at 22:53

Yeah, no thanks.

Cash Rewards > RPM esq.
10/12/2020 at 23:14

Tough to say with the effort out into the photos. Round here for a knockdown you get max 3 shots of the house. Ain't wasting their time with that

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
10/12/2020 at 23:19

Am I crying for the seller's crack addiction or for my own hopeless prospects?

RPM esq. > Cash Rewards
10/12/2020 at 23:54

You’d be surprised what gets torn down to build 3000-square-foot boxy monstrosities here. Frequently, it’s lovingly updated but tiny bungalows like this one...

fintail > Spaceball-Two
10/13/2020 at 00:55

A friend of mine’s parents bought a new house in Kirkland in 1985. West of Market, about 2 blocks from the water, brand new build at the time. 125K all in. It zillows at something like 1.6MM or so now, I think.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > RPM esq.
10/13/2020 at 00:56

The average dwelling (houses, apartments, townhouses etc all combined) price in the Sydney Metropolitan Area, NSW Australia wa s something in the order of AU$1.2 million last I heard . Given that the area we are talking about is similar in size to Greater Los Angeles (so I’m told)... that’s a lot.

fintail > ranwhenparked
10/13/2020 at 01:00

Sadly, the idea of affordable starter homes is a spectacularly unfunny joke in the greater Seattle area anymore. Maybe a 50 year old condo that needs everything would count.

I see non-luxury condos with 500+ HOA fees, too, insanity.

Spaceball-Two > fintail
10/13/2020 at 01:29

It’s all land and partial view. Tear it down and build three.

Cash Rewards > RPM esq.
10/13/2020 at 08:30

Oh , I believe it. It seems to be a very similar market. I was just commenting on the effort out into it by the realtor to photograph the house if it's likely to be bulldozed

Thomas Donohue > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2020 at 08:42

I had thought that maybe you cropped some of the still life photos for effect ......but then I said to myself “he probably didn’t....you should check.”

Oh my......ohhhhh m yyyyy....

Kinja'd!!!

Pickup_man > Spaceball-Two
10/13/2020 at 08:59

My parents did the same, and it was a used truck all the way back in 2000, and they live on 3 acres. The house wasn’t much to speak of back when they bought it, but still, that price doesn’t even buy me an acre of bare land any more.

ranwhenparked > fintail
10/13/2020 at 09:19

I looked at a place like that here, too. 3 bedrooms+ sleeping loft, great, two fireplaces, also great, cathedral ceilings, fine, community dock, don't have a boat, but whatever. But, $350 a month HOA for what, shit I'll never use but looks good in a brochure?

Stef Schrader > fintail
10/13/2020 at 10:58

Hahahahaha. So accurate.

Stef Schrader > Spaceball-Two
10/13/2020 at 11:01

Ugh, so true. There was a $900K teardown-and-spec-McMansion behind me here in Austin. There’s a special place in hell for that builder for rattling the hell out of my place. They didn’t even add density or square footage—they just built something newer and blander. Pendejos.

The Zillow value of my duplex hit $1M recently and thanks, I hate it. (There’s no way in hell anyone would pay a million for it, though... I hope? Either way, your renter wants to stay here.

Stef Schrader > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
10/13/2020 at 11:02

It’s a visual representation of the farts you’ll have when you realize how much you paid for a lil’ house.

Stef Schrader > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2020 at 11:06

Kinja'd!!!

Bruh, pick one style and stick to it. Having half of a vintage pink bathroom (good!) next to this weird trendy HGTV stuff (bad!) doesn’t make sense.

Also, who the hell staged this? Basic Austin Succulent Becky ? It looks so out of place for Everett, for Pete’s sake. That cow skull will mold before it’ll bleach out into a nice skele ton there.

RPM esq. > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
10/13/2020 at 16:16

I have a friend from Melbourne and I have heard similar about housing prices there and in Sydney--crazy.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2020 at 17:32

That’s not a bungalow.

Also, fuck that entirely.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
10/13/2020 at 22:05

Well, at least you’re not crying over actual photographic film used in making this crap lol. But yeah, I hear you, I’m on the market too, and so far the only place that would negotiate their bullshit prices to maybe non bullshit levels is the one whose owner is in jail for tax evasion

Forrest > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/14/2020 at 02:43

That 9500 sq ft lot, though. So much room for activities

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 01:00

I raise you, For Sale by Owner, Mississippi edition: https://www.trulia.com/p/ms/gautier/5713-dead-river-rd-gautier-ms-39553—2281821218

Comes with a sailboat though.